100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hippyman;1446829 wrote: My life plan is to stay sober forever and it's encouraging to hear from someone with 5+ years.

Nice to meet you Hippyman!
I have read many of your posts, and have been quite impressed with how you have embraced your sobriety with such enthusiasm & positive attitude. :goodjob:
Keep up the great work!

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lavande;1446739 wrote:

Today I celebrate 44 months smoke free & that's a big deal for me. March 26 is right around the corner when I will celebrate 4 years AF.

Congratulations to you Lavande... that is wonderful news!
I think it is very important for all of us to celebrate our accomplishments. Especially long termers. It's easy to start taking our quits for granted when the initial thrill starts to fade.
We need to keep our recovery "fresh & green".... and celebrated!

:chick::chick::chick::chick: X 10 to commemorate this day!

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Congrats on your continued success Fallen Angel
I had to smile when I read your description of giving up the last crutch. That is exactly how I felt as well! Standing ip on my own two feet, for the first time ever as an adult with no 'help'!
I knew I had to quit both, wanted to so that I could enjoy the arrival of my grandkids. I am so grateful for the support I received on MWO & Quitnet

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thanks for that Fallen Angel

[Mick]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Do you know fallen..I never even thought of it like that...whats more interesting is...now that the booze and cigs have gone...what do you currently do in all those previous situations?I have just sat and racked my brains and I cant come up with an answer..only ones I can think of is when I get annoyed...again which isnt that often now!!!..I cant even remember the last time me and Julie had an argument!!, I tend to take it out on the treadmill!!!or some form of exercise...
Can anyone else say that they do specific things instead now?

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Wow, FA, great information....and MWO totally is my salvation too, not only for getting sober, but for staying sober, too. I would disappoint A LOT of people (not to mention myself) so I am so happy to read your words on how it happened for you.

Mick, your comment cracked me up. You know what I meant about men 'getting' it quicker....now that you mention it....it does apply to otha thangs too! Bahahah....

I never smoked, but I can say that things don't upset me so much now as they did before, I am just overall more calm and able to react in a rational way instead of flying off the handle like I used to. When things DO get the better of me, I get up and walk around outside or I pet my dog. I remove myself from the situation for a time out.
Not sure if that's what you were talking about, but overall I think my coping skills are just better now. Perhaps I have matured.....(go figure).

Lav, your glazed over eyes comment made me cackle like a chicken!! You are a hoot! XXOO, B

[kuya]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

mollyka;1446704 wrote: Ky, just saw on one of Dixon's threads that you are taking B vits, however, my dose is 1000mg a day at the mo. and in most cases the daily recommended amount is 25mg, so it's the humungous dose that made the difference to me - the low dose is purely maintenance apparently if we already have normal levels - telling my granny how to suck eggs here, cos you're a vet so prolly know all this stuff!!

Thanks Molls.... That IS a humongous dose !!!! I know we talked before but not about doses.

I took more, felt a bit better, but nowhere near enough. Will be going shopping tomorrow

And in 30 years I have never had an alcoholic dog or cat to learn this from :H:H:H

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady;1446968 wrote:
I never smoked, but I can say that things don't upset me so much now as they did before, I am just overall more calm and able to react in a rational way instead of flying off the handle like I used to. When things DO get the better of me, I get up and walk around outside or I pet my dog. I remove myself from the situation for a time out.
Not sure if that's what you were talking about, but overall I think my coping skills are just better now. Perhaps I have matured.....(go figure).

Well, I got quite the laugh after reading your Post Byrd... I had been in the process of answering Mick's question, using the same phrases & words like "flying off the handle", calm, maturity.... and for some reason I just couldn't get my thoughts in order, so I deleted the unfinished post & thought I would give it another try later. Then saw that you had not only posted, but posted exactly what I had been trying to write! :H .....:thanks: ...I really appreciate that! :H
So to answer your question Mick, I second what Byrd said!

[kuya]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

FallenAngel;1447020 wrote: Well, I got quite the laugh after reading your Post Byrd... I had been in the process of answering Mick's question, using the same phrases & words like "flying off the handle", calm, maturity.... and for some reason I just couldn't get my thoughts in order, so I deleted the unfinished post & thought I would give it another try later. Then saw that you had not only posted, but posted exactly what I had been trying to write! :H .....:thanks: ...I really appreciate that! :H
So to answer your question Mick, I second what Byrd said!

Funny thing now.....when things annoy me I find myself 'watching' my self getting annoyed. Sometimes I end up laughing at how my ego is so fragile.
In other words I can't take things so seriously any more.

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

kuya;1447024 wrote: Funny thing now.....when things annoy me I find myself 'watching' my self getting annoyed. Sometimes I end up laughing at how my ego is so fragile.
In other words I can't take things so seriously any more.

I know what you mean. When we are able to separate ego & self, we really do see things much differently.

[kuya]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

FallenAngel;1447036 wrote: I know what you mean. When we are able to separate ego & self, we really do see things much differently.

My ego is my inner child that never grows older. It comes into play quickly but as long as I don't allow her to take charge she gets bored and goes on to other things. My inner child drank while my 'self' failed to stop and protect her. While getting sober she sulked and tantrumed but is now having fun doing other things. Like a real child I have to find time to play with her and make her laugh or she will want drugs again

My inner child, my ego, was easily hurt by the world and withdrew and sulked.

Learning to separate these two is liberating, and it is vital to learn which one is in control in the moment.

Sometimes when out I see parents with a child they have taught no boundaries....... That is us when taking drugs, the child cries for the candy, the adult says NO but the child knows they will cave in if it tantrums enough. The adult caves and the child is in charge.

This is why I say my liberation came when ' I grew the fuck up' ....... In truth I put my 'self ' in charge, at last

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Wow....
There sure is a lot more to quitting drinking than just quitting drinking!!! I'd have never thought it, but it is the most interesting journey I've ever taken (getting to know ME)...I have actually been there as I grew up. I can see it happening as it happens...if that makes sense. I've grown more in the past 2 years than I did in the previous 30. B

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

great post Kuya... I like how you think, and how you are able to convey your thoughts.
thank you for this great insight.

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I read a great insightful post on another thread by Slaythefear. With her permission, I'm posting it here for discussion:

"Presently, I believe something was missing...that proverbial hole within, and I filled it with alcohol. Alcohol makes you feel accepted and removes the emptiness...temporarily. Then it becomes a crutch, a friend in times of need, an escape and then an addiction for some or the enemy of ever really filling the hole within.

I believe the hole within is the absence of love and acceptance...feeling good enough to be loved as is and being able to count on that love. The break starts in childhood for various reasons and continues on in our judgmental social engineering world. We become programmed to fill it with all the wrong things.

This could be a good essay.

Slay"

Have any of you experienced this emptiness?

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Yep...I sure have...lack of love, approval and acceptance. But being the caring people we all are, instead of lashing out on others we turn that inwards onto ourselves in the form of self sabbotage or self destruction. Food did it before I met up with AL....then I began to eat AT people and drink AT people to get back at them....Really showed THEM, huh? It sure fills some deficit we have....keeps us away from confrontations...helps us numb up our problems and feelings so we don't have to deal with them. We don't really ever learn to make a good decision instead we avoid it to keep from making a mistake. Yes, I definately see a pattern among us all....AL makes us Feel like we are filling these holes and shortcomings in our lives. It makes us feel accepted and corageous. Gives us a voice when we are too meek to say anything....but it's a false voice and plastic courage. The people we know and love really are still under there, waiting to get out. And once out, we grow up. It's late and these words are blurring together....Hope this makes as good sense on here as it did up in my head! Have a restful night....Byrdie