100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady;1459097 wrote: ... I stuck around the Newbie's Nest, tho and that kept me accountable. There were people always ahead of me, and always behind me....I could see the past, present AND the future. As time went by, my investment in my quit grew and it became more valuable...and harder to replace....and now, I consider it irreplaceable. I am not complacent in this point in my life. I have a healthy fear/respect for what could happen, and I am taking every measure to insure it doesn't. I would say that time will make this distinction as it has for me. I am not complacent at all now...I guard my Quit like a pot of gold.

You should write a book: A Byrd's Guide to Getting and Staying Sober. I think the way you are looking at the whole situation is essential for long-term (forever!) success. I'm working on channeling my thoughts in the right direction because I know my thoughts lead directly to my actions.

Again, thank you.

[Pinecone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

To me, complacency means forgetting the risk. I don't have any strong compulsions or cravings at this point at all anymore. Some mindgames are still there to some extent though. If I see something on TV or a label at the store, I notice it differently from the way I notice the butter. I feel like I have to remain cautious. I check myself out when this happens. I'm not sure that I can or should have indifference. I'm not sure indifference can exist next to aversion. I'm not sure if I am expressing this well...Are these mindgames, or am I just being cautious like I should? Like Mollyka, I try to really examine what is going on with brutal honesty. I can't forget where I came from or what road led me here.

I'm really digging this thread!

[Catbuddy]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Pinecone, I have absolutely nothing to add to your brilliant post. You wrote exactly how I feel.

Cat

[FallenAngel]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

From the book This Present Darkness by Frank E. Peretti:

"A demon of lust, a slithery creature with darting and shifty eyes and slippery hide, overheard and joined in, snatching Complacency with his long, sharp talons. "And where have you been sleeping today?" it asked with a sneer.
"I do not sleep!" Complacency retorted. "I cause people to sleep."



That's what we must always remember... Complacency does not sleep.



I learned a lot about complacency in my failed smoking quit many years ago. (Sorry to always bring up my smoking quit, but that's where I learned my biggest & hardest lessons).

I learned that I need to keep my quits fresh & green; and if I don't, the complacency beast will take up residence & will start methodically weaving its web.


I have several things I do by habit now to keep me from going down that path...

~I continuously go to my gratitude place. I thank my God for giving me the strength to take that leap of faith so many years ago... and for placing angels in my path just when I needed them.

~I have a "recovery shrine" (for lack of a better term). This is a beautiful ongoing,ever-changing art sculpture that I add to each week, month & year. Visually I can see my current year adding up, and also the accumulating past years I keep this out in the open where I see it countless times a day. I still get a small thrill out of adding a prism to the gold strand each Monday morning & a golden gilded star each month. :H

~To help others along their journey keeps me from becoming complacent in mine.

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Pinecone, I think when we are learning to be non drinkers we do have to play some mind games. I just repeated my mantra to myself, over & over until I truly believed that NO, I DON'T DRINK! After a period of time, I think we do relax a little, I know I did. But I am very mindful that one drink could possibly put me back to the beginning or worse. We are supposed to be grateful for our past because it has brought us to the place we are now. I am grateful

[Sunbeam]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I love my recovery list, or maybe I should call it my anti- complacency list. It reminds me of the many ways my life needs to be different in order for me to stay AF.

[Hippyman]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I don't know that I would call how I feel complacent? I have a deep respect for what alcohol can do! I would call how I feel ...something more like indifference? No longer does alcohol have the upper hand on me. I now have the tools to make sure I never drink again. My last binge was so bad that I nearly died. I'll never forget what happened while I was near death. I know I have a purpose to be here and much work still to do. I must remain sober to do it so I WILL!

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Avoiding becoming complacent is the key Hippy

Always feeling grateful, enriching my life & the lives of those around me & growing spiritually have helped me in a big way. Adopting new ways of thinking & mostly keeping my thought out of the self-pity zone have been essential for me. E. Tolle's 'The Power of Now' helped me tremendously

[Hippyman]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lavande;1460215 wrote: Avoiding becoming complacent is the key Hippy

Always feeling grateful, enriching my life & the lives of those around me & growing spiritually have helped me in a big way. Adopting new ways of thinking & mostly keeping my thought out of the self-pity zone have been essential for me. E. Tolle's 'The Power of Now' helped me tremendously

I read the Power of Now many years ago. The lessons it teaches make alot of sense in my life today!

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lav, that Pity Party is an ass kicker. Easy to throw, fun to attend, and HARD to leave. That one derailed me alot. It rolls around in there with denial. Hunger and opportunity got me also. I thought I HAD to cave to the crave...but then one time I didn't and it was a light bulb moment. I knew I would live thru a dam craving! Rinse and Repeat!!
Kuya, I think you said it very nicely....7 days of inconvenience is a small price to pay for your freedom...or something to that affect. True!
B

[kuya]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Last night I was watching a TV program and a group of friends were starting a party with a drink and looked so happy.

For the first time I started to grieve for that. I wasn't craving alcohol, I was grieving that time, many moons ago, when drinking was fun.

Of course the TV never showed the end of the party and I knew, intellectually, that my drinking was NEVER REALLY like that. Other people got merry, I only got drunk AFTER they had passed out or gone home. My capacity for alcohol was ENORMOUS

But the grieving came as a surprise, and unbalanced me and I had my first drinking dream in four months.

It strikes me today, having had time to reflect, that I HAVE felt this way before. Not about alcohol but other things.

Horseriding ( can't risk the falls as I am self employed)
Professional sport ( too old and too many other commitments)
Singing ( I have a decent voice just not good enough)
Pregnancy ( post menopausal)
Romantic marriage ( far too mature to believe in such a thing)
Fame ( my passions are not those which bring fame)
Fortune ( unlikely, except by finding a new passion or gambling)

My point is that I have often accepted certain limitations, grieved and moved on.

Alcohol is just another.

Have others here grieved for alcohol and how did it manifest?

[Wildflowers]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I haven't grieved this quit. Like Mollers it's a relief & joy. I did my last one a few yrs back. I haven't had any drinking dreams this time. Did on my last major quit. It seemed very vivid ~ real. I was upset by it. It was right at four months of sobriety.

Once in a while I feel regret for time lost, things I've done. Yet know there's nothing I can do except move forward. Continue to make living amends. My feelings towards alcohol is one of repulsion or it doesn't matter.

To answer your question, my grieving yrs back manifested in a 3.5 yr relapse that nearly ended up killing me again, because I wasn't done. Yours won't Kuya!!!! You have all of us & a whole lot more!....

Will catch up on this thread later in the wk. It's been a very productive wknd.

[Wildflowers]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I haven't grieved this quit. Like Mollers it's a relief & joy. I did my last one a few yrs back. I haven't had any drinking dreams this time. Did on my last major quit. It seemed very vivid ~ real. I was upset by it. It was right at four months of sobriety.

Once in a while I feel regret for time lost, things I've done. Yet know there's nothing I can do except move forward. Continue to make living amends. My feelings towards alcohol is one of repulsion or it doesn't matter.

To answer your question, my grieving yrs back manifested in a 3.5 yr relapse that nearly ended up killing me again, because I wasn't done. Yours won't Kuya!!!! You have all of us & a whole lot more!....

Will catch up on this thread later in the wk. It's been a very productive wknd.

[Wildflowers]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I haven't grieved this quit. Like Mollers it's a relief & joy. I did my last one a few yrs back. I haven't had any drinking dreams this time. Did on my last major quit. It seemed very vivid ~ real. I was upset by it. It was right at four months of sobriety.

Once in a while I feel regret for time lost, things I've done. Yet know there's nothing I can do except move forward. Continue to make living amends. My feelings towards alcohol is one of repulsion or it doesn't matter. I did feel envy in the summer, but I have enough knowledge in different areas that it wasn't to disturbing to my psyche. I've had cravings at different intervals. They are becoming further apart.

To answer your question, my grieving yrs back manifested in a 3.5 yr relapse that nearly ended up killing me again, because I wasn't done. Yours won't Kuya!!!! You have all of us & a whole lot more!....

Will catch up on this thread later in the wk. It's been a very productive wknd.

[Wildflowers]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Maybe it was subliminal messaging ~ power of suggestion from watching the show before bedtime. I think it's summer time in NZ to. The brain is a giant PC..... I think maybe these two factors are playing tricks with your magnificent head...

You'll be fine! Your tough & smart....