100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi, I have a question for those of you with experience on MWO.

Last evening, and not for the first time since I've been here, there was a post that was difficult to interpret - was the person upset about the drinking issue, something else entirely, or truly desperate and at the end of their rope and genuinely asking for help? Each of the 3 times I've had this experience, it has turned out to be ok but I know there have been other sad instances when it did not. It is very upsetting to the readers of these posts who are powerless unless the original poster engages. I know that we don't owe one another explicit details in each post and a person can post whatever they want but I think it is important to remember that we all become emotionally vested in one another in part because of the soul-baring that goes on around here and our words can really affect others. I know several people were very worried last evening.

I guess my question is, how do you react to posts that can be interpreted as those of someone who is planning to harm his- or herself?

Thanks, NS

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

NS, it is difficult sometimes!

A lot of people exchange email addresses or even phone #s so there are other ways to stay in touch. I'm friends with several older members on Facebook
When a relative newbie posts something 'questionable' like that I usually respond to the post on the thread (if I see it) & often send a PM.

While it's wonderful to get to know people & offer support & encouragement here we have to remember that we are not in any way responsible for the actions of others. Over the years I have come across posts from people who obviously have a lot more going on than an AL problem. The best we can do is offer support & encourage them to seek out professional help. And maybe say a prayer

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

NS, that's a tough one...
Kuya spotted the last one who followed thru on her threats...She asked me to help her keep an eye on her that she was very concerned. This person had been reaching out to people all day, and others had been trying to help her, but she kept insisting that no one cared. I sat in chat half the day looking at my own cursor waiting for her to come in, she'd been requesting chat all day. Kuya was genuinely worried about this one and not some of the others we'd seen...I asked her what the difference was, how did she know and she said that suicide is an act of violence, not of hurt. This woman was ANGRY beyond consolation...We were doing what she asked us to do and it wasn't good enough. I guess it's a fine line, but Kuya saw the difference.
It still scares the _____ out of me when someone says something like that....and I don't rest much until I see their green light on again. I hate AL.
Love you, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I guess we do the best we can and communicate as well as possible given the limitations imposed by typed text (and a few emoticons).

The self-involved first few months on MWO in some ways were easier than worrying about the mental and emotional state of others or dealing with the loss from the site of people I grew to really care about - departures for both known and unknown reasons.

I was really down about the whole thing earlier today but reading some really goofy posts in the Newbies Nest reminded me that good stuff really does go on here and many people are helped.

Hope everyone reading has a great, AF week.

:h NS

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

mollyka;1537703 wrote: Hiya all!!! Haven't visited here in a while and was gonna respond to your post NS - when I read Lav's and Byrdie's responses they said it all really.
Like them I've been very upset in the past and actually DID stay up all night with a very distressed poster --- the next day she was oblivious to the worry she had caused.... and yes, there have been cases here where the person has gone on to damage themselves or commit suicide --- it is the nature of a forum like this, and the danger of the 'online' element of it..... you don't become immune --- never --- but beyond pm's or if you happen to have personal contact details of that person, there's not a lot else you can do..... it is very distressing tho ---
Molly

Hi, Molly

Nice to see you here . It is very upsetting but you're right - almost by definition this type of situation will arise in an online forum focused on alcoholism.

Also distressing and frustrating is watching someone make a choice that I think is terribly self-destructive. I just read your post about moderation in the Relapse thread - I wish everyone on MWO who ever entertained the thought would read it.

Nice "talking" with you lately! :h NS

[K9Lover]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi Everyone!

Just popping in to say hello! I was AWOL again...missed a few more days of work due to my foot, but looks like I have exhausted every option for getting any more home time...so here I am!

I have so much to catch up on...so many newbies, and of course the old regulars (you guys) that I love so much!

:h:h

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hey K9, great to see you
Sorry your foot is still on the mend but you'll get there. If you need Stella to help you with any chore or anything just let me know.
Be well

[K9Lover]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Does Stella like to snuggle? I've wondered what it would be like to cuddle a chicken. LOL

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Well there's a visual that burned into my retinas. K9 getting cozy with a chicken!!! :H:H:H

(Holy cow, there ought to be laws!!)

[RunningCourage]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

K9Lover;1539292 wrote: Does Stella like to snuggle? I've wondered what it would be like to cuddle a chicken. LOL
Byrdlady;1539370 wrote: Well there's a visual that burned into my retinas. K9 getting cozy with a chicken!!! :H:H:H

(Holy cow, there ought to be laws!!)

Can't resist...

K9 - this is how it's done... http://youtu.be/qWsdgSmBCuU[/video]]Chicken Hugging

And did you know there is such a thing as:



Indeed, so we should get T-shirts for Lav and K9 that say:



But K9... the dog... keep the dog AWAY from the chook...

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I've just wet my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That even looks like our K9 AND Stella! :H:H:H

RC, how do you do it??? Do you google 'How to hug a chicken?' I hope our NSA isn't spying on you!!! :H:H:H What sorts of things would be in your search engines!!!

Thank you for the belly laugh!! (and the change of britches)......xo, Byrdie

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Stella is completely huggable

[Sunbeam]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I hug my dog like that. She's 30 pounds, but I manage it.

Hey, I'm at the 11 month mark. I've attended a couple of gatherings where wine was available mid- afternoon. Those that had some just had a few sips, left the rest in the glass. Amazing. I still don't want to drink, I'm enjoying myself too much.

We leave in less than two weeks for an 11 night trip to Alaska including bus, train and boat. We are very excited and fortunate to be going.

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Sunbeam;1539619 wrote: I hug my dog like that. She's 30 pounds, but I manage it.

Hey, I'm at the 11 month mark. I've attended a couple of gatherings where wine was available mid- afternoon. Those that had some just had a few sips, left the rest in the glass. Amazing. I still don't want to drink, I'm enjoying myself too much.

We leave in less than two weeks for an 11 night trip to Alaska including bus, train and boat. We are very excited and fortunate to be going.

My dog who is 65 pounds thinks she is a lap dog so if I sit on the floor, I get to hug her like that, too !

Boy, a month from now will be a great landmark for you Sunbeam - we'll need to celebrate! Have a great trip to Alaska - everyone who visits (or lives there) seems to love it. I'm with you on the few sips of wine - none is so much more satisfying now.

K9 - it is great to have you back posting all over MWO again :l! Your encouraging but no-nonsense posts meant a great deal for me when I joined. I 'followed' you all over the boards and have really missed you the last several weeks. It is great that you were bigger than the challenges you faced and are finally seeing some light.

Have a great day, 100-dayers!

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Sunbeam. CONGRATS on your 11 AF months
Your trip sounds awesome, enjoy!

I am also too happy & grateful to miss having 'a' glass of wine