100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi, SBL

I agree with you -- it is harder to post when the energy is low but that is when we need to add our enthusiasm to the threads.

You can get the L-glutamine at a health food store. It is an amino acid that can be metabolized by the brain for energy. Since cravings for sugar and AL are the brain saying "Feed Me!", it can alleviate those cravings. It also is utilized by any rapidly dividing cells so is great for gut health. BUT - cancer cells love it so it should not be taken by someone with cancer or compromised kidney or liver function.

Some people take it in tablet form at specific times of day. I used the powder (~ 1/4 tsp) or powder in a gel cap as needed, placed directly under the tongue and allowed to absorb slowly.

I found it very helpful for sugar and somewhat helpful for AL cravings. I keep a few of the capsules in my purse and have at times used them to help me make the right choice .

[Samstone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

morning all

Available, I can finally see your avatar!

My daughter and I did a farmers' market in DC in the afternoon yesterday, it was a beautiful spring day and as we drove back home in the bumper to bumper, stop-go traffic, I wondered why how the world I could ever live like this. I guess the best way is to not own a car if living in a large city. So I'm glad to be sitting here in the quiet of home and getting ready to get out and about.

It has been an interesting process being on this forum, I am very grateful that it exists! As the duration of time of being sober keeps extending, I find it harder to talk about being drunk and what it can do. I think it is because I don't want that feeling to be acknowledged any more and yet I want to help others but the words just don't seem to appear in a good way to be helpful. I'm not sure this is making sense, but it has been something that I've been regretting when I see someone struggling. I reckon, for me, it is just another rung on the ladder. Anyone else have this scenario? I'm always amazed at the unending support that some here give and am very appreciate that you all do.

All for now, hope everyone enjoys their day.
Sam

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Samstone;1647636 wrote:
It has been an interesting process being on this forum, I am very grateful that it exists! As the duration of time of being sober keeps extending, I find it harder to talk about being drunk and what it can do. I think it is because I don't want that feeling to be acknowledged any more and yet I want to help others but the words just don't seem to appear in a good way to be helpful. I'm not sure this is making sense, but it has been something that I've been regretting when I see someone struggling. I reckon, for me, it is just another rung on the ladder. Anyone else have this scenario? I'm always amazed at the unending support that some here give and am very appreciate that you all do.

Hey, Sam, I was just thinking about this yesterday.

A person who was struggling sent me a PM because my "dump it out" post in response to her drinking made her feel bad and that it wasn't as easy as it sounds.

That made me think that maybe with time AF, I've lost some empathy. It now just seems obvious what needs to be done. It is important to have reasonably long-term AF people stick around to show that it can be done but I think the people who are in the 4-12 months AF range are critical -- they know they've made the right choice but they haven't forgotten where they've been.

The exchange I had yesterday has reminded me to be more careful with my words, even if the message remains the same.

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Sam and NS, I worry about the same thing. I have had PM's from folks asking me why I didn't move on from the Nest....after all, I wasn't a newbie anymore. Well, I just do what Lav does, and she stays in the nest. I have to believe that it's to stay grounded as well as to help. Sometimes when you are so close to the problem it's hard to see the solution. I don't know, I remember my drunken episodes like they were yesterday...and I know I'm one drink away from being there again. I hope I'm not getting stale in my messages and support. But the nest is a very special place, there are always people in front of you and behind you....I love it. I just know how I felt coming in there, I was scared and I felt alone. At that time, there weren't but a couple posts a day! It didn't occur to me to read back! It's still really fresh to me, so I hope that I don't come across as not having sympathy/empathy.
I don't think either of you do, but I'm biased! I'm so stinking proud of you both! xo, B

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

You manage to do it right, Byrdie. We are all lucky you do what you do. I remember the pain but I don't feel it as viscerally as perhaps I should if I'm going to dare to give advice.
I don't want to be that parent-type who says, Well, I've lived a lot longer than you, so I KNOW X, Y, and Z...

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

NoSugar;1647638 wrote: Hey, Sam, I was just thinking about this yesterday.

A person who was struggling sent me a PM because my "dump it out" post in response to her drinking made her feel bad and that it wasn't as easy as it sounds.

That made me think that maybe with time AF, I've lost some empathy. It now just seems obvious what needs to be done. It is important to have reasonably long-term AF people stick around to show that it can be done but I think the people who are in the 4-12 months AF range are critical -- they know they've made the right choice but they haven't forgotten where they've been.

The exchange I had yesterday has reminded me to be more careful with my words, even if the message remains the same.

I too struggle with the right words. It is sometimes like being a parent to a stubborn teenager. You want them to listen to what you have to say, often that advice is well founded in experience, yet how do you reach them without sounding preachy. The difference here in my mind though is that we are talking fellow addicts about a life and death issue and so sometimes the polite words need to thrown out the door. While we always need to be respectful we don't always have to walk on tippy toes by sugar coating a message that needs to be heard in the proper context. Telling someone to dump what's left in the bottle when they are drunk and, as a result, have little capacity for rational thought just can't be sugar coated. Tell it like it is! Byrdie the Newbies nest wouldn't work with just Newbies. When I started out I didn't want to listen just to fellow newbies I wanted the advice of people that are making it work. Don't you dare ever question or allow someone else to question why continue to post in the Nest. You are such a force and inspiration on this thread...you make a difference.

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Wow, thank you so much! That makes me feel like a queen! :crowned: xxoo, Byrdie

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Glad to see you on your way to being a regular here jane

Sam, I know exactly what you are saying!
Newbies have asked me questions about how I felt or what I did about something or the other & honestly - I just don't remember anymore. It's been quite some time since I felt the acute pain of a hang over or the remorse of messing up again. I just know that I don't want to feel all that again so I remain on my AF path
Having Brydie hanging onto my tail feathers has been a good thing too - I don't want to lead her astray either

[available]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Jane behave! see you in 4 days or is it 3?

Interesting topic guys. I totally agree with you all that it is hard to be that comforting voice when really we need hard words said also which makes newbies get narky. God i thought byrd and lav talked out their arse when i first came on here as i imagined that it must have been easy for them to stop. Now i know better as been there done that and have a bit of the badge. I seem to feel that newbies think that we dont remember or it was so different now we are along the path of sobriety. By a miracle i have had no pm's telling me where to go and sometimes i can honestly say i get over tired of the promises said by some but you can definitely see in others their desperation and want to give up al and they are the ones that are sticking around.

Without you guys i know i would not be at 4 months, without listening and taking on board what you have all said on the nest, i would not be here today. I hope i give something back now and if i get up peoples noses i will still be here as here i am sober, if i had to go into the real world without mwo i would not be at this stage.

Sam, that is a sign that is at the front of a resort in thailand. A sad reminder of society and man this is a drinkers paradise in Phuket. As NS said to me well at least i have not gone PHUKET i will drink, its been hard some days but totally doable. It felt like throwing a gambler in Vegas the other day. Tonight we went to see a caberet show and i asked mum if she wanted a wine, big glasses they were and she ummed and ahhed and i said i would go halves with her. well you should have seen the look of complete shock on her face. i told her i was kidding and i was. That feels good, that is why i am on holiday and sober as i am still on here.

Love you guys. xxx

[Pavati]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi, all:

Great discussion. NoSugar - it is very hard for me to believe that you said anything at all harsh or anything that warranted an apology. The reason having you old timers in the nest worked for me is that I knew you wouldn't take any BS from me - there's no "you DO have it hard," but rather, "we ALL have it hard," now shape up and quit drinking! I have posted this NA daily ponderable on the nest a few times,

"We felt different... Only after surrender are we able to overcome the alienation of addiction."
Basic Text, p. 22

"But you don't understand!" we spluttered, trying to cover up. "I'm different! I've really got it rough!" We used these lines over and over in our active addiction, either trying to escape the consequences of our actions or avoid following the rules that applied to everyone else. We may have cried them at our first meeting. Perhaps we've even caught ourselves whining them recently.

So many of us feel different or unique. As addicts, we can use almost anything to alienate ourselves. But there's no excuse for missing out on recovery, nothing that can make us ineligible for the program- not a life-threatening illness, not poverty, not anything. There are thousands of addicts who have found recovery despite the real hardships they've faced. Through working the program, their spiritual awareness has grown, in spite of-or perhaps in response to those hardships.

Our individual circumstances and differences are irrelevant when it comes to recovery. By letting go of our uniqueness and surrendering to this simple way of life, we're bound to find that we feel a part of something. And feeling a part of something gives us the strength to walk through life, hardships and all.

Just for Today: I will let go of my uniqueness and embrace the principles of recovery I have in common with so many others. My hardships do not exclude me from recovery; rather, they draw me into it.


We all have a story, and I think by the time we google "alcohol moderation" or whatever we did to find MWO, we have crossed a line that is hard (impossible) to uncross. I think Newbies, middlebies and oldbies all need the same message - we're not special.

Please don't go away, and please don't sugar coat messages. That's why I like MWO so much - there's not such thing as a "little slip." It is always - in Ava's words - you farked up, now get a new plan and refocus your efforts! And in Lav's words, quit the pity party.

I listen to all of your words with great care - thanks for all you do and PLEASE don't stop!

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thanks, Ava and Pav, for giving us your take on this. I guess there will always be a risk of driving people who aren't quite ready to make this change away by not sugar-coating the situation and trying to be honest about what is involved but, like TJAF said, it would be worse if people like you guys didn't make it out because everyone was saying that slips are to be expected, that oh, you do have so much pressure on you so it's ok you drank, etc. I was finally honest with myself and the people here when I joined MWO and it made all the difference. There is no point in staying around if that doesn't continue - both in the giving and receiving of ideas and information.

[Myluck]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Such a great discussion. I stopped posting in the beginners blog for new folks and I feel bad. I will try to post more to support newcomers. They all need help. I also noticed it is hard, and I am struggling to figure what to say outside of "just do it". I admire Byrdady and how she always finds words of wisdom that are so making sense. What I find very useful is to read posts of people who fell of the wagon and came back. I read about those epic failures to moderate, just to hear it again and again so I will not make mistake like that myself. I want to learn from those mistakes and I am curious why people make them.

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi, MyLuck

I was curious about that, too. Have you read the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...ect-78410.html thread?

Whenever I get the littlest idea that I'm fine and really didn't have that big of a problem in the first place, I read these stories.

You're right about Byrdie - she has more and better ways to say DON'T DRINK than anyone I've seen!

[Myluck]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thanks NS - I will be reading this - I have not seen it.

[3June2013]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Just popping in to say hello. Alls well here in the north, the snow has melted and I found a yoga studio near by that isn't intimidating, going three times a week. Got my bike out and I feel like a bear coming out of hibernation!

I lost my way on the newbies nest, but still check in for the Need Help ASAP types. I know how much it meant to me getting the right advice straight from the start. I feel indebted and the only way I can pay it forward is to pipe in when I can. If it comes from the heart then how bad can it be? If the advice isn't well received that doesn't mean it wasn't good advice.