100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Lavande;1703472 wrote: Hi there TJ
Hope you are well!

Thanks for the thought LAV! I'm hanging in there. No real temptation to speak of. I try not and confuse real temptation with a longing for an ideal of drinking which is not real but nevertheless unfulfilled. I have to admit I have had those moments. I also have had a bitch of a time with PAWs...I've written about it in prior posts. I understand it so I don't let it get me down...As much as I drank in a lifetime of drinking it would be pretty na?ve of me not to expect some real physical and mental adjustments over the long haul. Experts say it should be all over by year 2. I'm looking forward to that! All in all I'm happy as hell to be sober. Thanks again for the thought.

[3June2013]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

PAWS

Can someone remind me of what PAWS is?

[3June2013]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

BTW this may sound mean but I just realized how it helps me to read the struggles of those in their first days AF. It really served as a reminder that I never want to go through that again and there is one sure way of guaranteeing it! 15 months and going strong!

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

3June2013;1703836 wrote: Can someone remind me of what PAWS is?

PAWS. Post alcoholic. Withdrawal syndrome

[Cherokeer]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Recently I have felt like my old self. Clear and focused. I wondered if there were residual cognitive effects or if it is different for each person depending on the substance and amount of time drinking. Looks like I may be losing employment in the next few months. I am not upset about that but I am concerned about too much time on my hands.

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Good morning, Cherokee.

It is great to hear that you're feeling so well. I feel like my thinking and memory still continue to improve (hope they never stop and I become the sharpest 80 year old ever !). As for emotions, the first year had some ups and downs but so far, the second year has been pretty even-keeled despite some life challenges. My experience has been that it just keeps getting better - I hope you find the same!

[skullbabyland]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Byrdlady;1703771 wrote: Skull, those dreams are sort of a blessing in disguise, aren't they? You get to feel all the guilt/shame/remorse without having to give up your quit... The relief we are looking for in the bottle just isn't there anymore, it only brings despair, so at least we have the opportunity to see how it would feel if we blew it, and can learn from that and build more resolve against it.
Sometimes those dreams are so real! What a relief they aren't true! B

You said it Byrdie. Couldn't agree more. So grateful for them- they keep me in touch with why drinking is so bad for me, at times when it would be easy for me to forget.

[Myluck]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi all, just checking in. I am happy to say vacations are a lot better without AL! No kidding here. I am fully rested. Not going back to work till sept 15 - we are leaving to Ohio on Friday to see some family

[Eloise]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

3June2013;1703838 wrote: BTW this may sound mean but I just realized how it helps me to read the struggles of those in their first days AF. It really served as a reminder that I never want to go through that again and there is one sure way of guaranteeing it! 15 months and going strong!

Reading these posts help me tremendously too!
A good reminder of what I do not want to deal with ever again.

[giraffe1234]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hi everyone, just popping in quickly to say I'm still around.

NS, I think I'm experiencing the emotional ups and downs you mentioned you had in the first year. I feel depressed and miserable for no good reason. I have my share of personal and work-related problems - but the emotional downs I am experiencing are disproportionate to those problems. It gets so bad at times that I do not want to communicate with anyone; I can hardly talk and hardly think clearly. What's wrong with me?
Advice anyone? Please?

[Lavande]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Hello all

giraffe, by now you've probably heard of post acute withdrawal syndrome.
It's something we all experience to some degree. You are not alone & there's nothing wrong with you
I worked my way thru it by doing some reading & actively working on my gratitude list! Believe me, the distraction works
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

giraffe1234;1704446 wrote:
NS, I think I'm experiencing the emotional ups and downs you mentioned you had in the first year. I feel depressed and miserable for no good reason. I have my share of personal and work-related problems - but the emotional downs I am experiencing are disproportionate to those problems. It gets so bad at times that I do not want to communicate with anyone; I can hardly talk and hardly think clearly. What's wrong with me?
Advice anyone? Please?

It seems to me like more than one thing is going on at once. Some of it might be PAWS -- the brain still is healing and will be for a couple of years. But, for me at least, part of the problem was that I'd gotten so used to escaping every unpleasant feeling -sadness, fear, frustration, boredom, pointlessness - very, very quickly and easily. I didn't mess around with introspection, breathing, meditation, exercising to relieve stress, etc. And even the next day, dealing with the aftereffects of drinking and planning for the next round kept me too "busy" to focus on what was really bothering me. It takes awhile to re-learn to deal with frustration, anger, and all of those other negative emotions. Developing new (or reviving old but forgotten) coping skills is really critical.

I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this, Giraffe. :h NS

[skullbabyland]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Wow, thanks Lavande and Giraffe, for discussing this- I had no idea that what I've been experiencing all these months, the ups and downs, flatness, depression, etc., was an actual quantifiable thing. I just read the info on Lavande's link and wow, that's me to a tee...

It's comforting, in a way, to know it's an actual thing that is to be expected and will likely go away after a period of time, even if that time does seem long away. Only one way to get there... just get there.

[skullbabyland]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Wow, thanks Lavande and Giraffe, for discussing this- I had no idea that what I've been experiencing all these months, the ups and downs, flatness, depression, etc., was an actual quantifiable thing. I just read the info on Lavande's link and wow, that's me to a tee...

It's comforting, in a way, to know it's an actual thing that is to be expected and will likely go away after a period of time, even if that time does seem long away. Only one way to get there... just get there.

[Rahulthesweet]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Skullbaby,

Even I have been thru this stage when I got numb ... Or sad for like week or so. That was tried by some acute stress at work but it's was bad really bad ... But the good part was I never felt like having a drink.

That's does bring me to another thought ... Today ... rather after 100 days ... I was in a stage when I had learned to enjoy like... AL is not important for me ... I have absolutely no cravings for it. I don't think about but I do think about lot many other things which I never used to think during drinking days ... Life for example what I did what am I doing etc. or past ... Regrets.

I must say one thing with AL gone it did left me more vulnerable, sensitive, alone and a bit less confident. I am not talk out about with respect to drinking Al per se but generally about like. For example, taking work related decisions , ups or downs, success or failures didn't had much impact on me .. I would simply drink to it ... Or was too hung over looking forward to my next drink. I was a hungry dog always looking for a drink...

Without AL it make more ... Conscious, scare or less risk taking so to say ... I started looking at what if ,.. After a long time time ! Maybe it was I started opening up my mind to a fact I have such huge responsibility of work, family and health on my shoulders that it sometimes even made me wonder.... How was I living life and simply drinking away ...

Such an eye opening after few weeks of sobriety and with reinforcing my mind again and again il be fits of AL how Al is not good , serves no purpose, a lie, poison etc ....

Today I wonder why would anyone in my stage would drink again ?

Yesterday I was out on a dinner and some asked and noticed ... You are not drinking .... Still ? Small amounts always sets the mood. If not for you but for people around you. Well he is right , I have been to so many situations where opposite person was not comfortable since I was drinking or was not drinking because I was not ... But that's not reason y u should ...

So is it the overconfidence ? We are cured. ... I never had a problem ... Maybe I over thought it was an issue. .. Maybe I am not an alcoholic ....

Or is it terrible despair, bad news. ... Etc

I guess there can be several reasons to relapse ... But it does not change the fact it would be so bad to relapse ... And GOD for it if that happens I would regret it ... So I must protect my quits no matter what. By what ever tool or food for thought I may give to my brain ...