100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[giraffe1234]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Thank you so much for the advice.

Skullbaby, that feeling of flatness you mentioned is very accurate. And it is good to know that it is an actual thing!

Lavande, I checked out the link and will also work on my gratitude list. Two years they say. Ouch.

NS: During those episodes I kept on thinking of the blissful escape a bottle or two would bring, exactly the way you say. It used to be such an easy way to cope with feelings/things/whatever. I admit I have been sorely tempted lately. Thank you for the wise words, and the reality check. I will work on coping skills.

Good weekend to everybody!

[available]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Im with you giraffe and skull. Feeling flat and unmotivated and procrastinate about everything and have the cbf's. I looked at a half bottle of wine in the fridge and thought "its friday a wine would be nice, its the end of the working week" then i thought after that stupid thought that Friday was never any different to the other days of the week and i dont crave al i kind of miss it for some stupid reason as it never gave me any pleasure. So drinking lots of coffee and i dont care if i dont sleep very well, its saturday tomorrow and a ME weekend with no al of course.

[Samstone]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

been thinking of this process of sobriety duration. Seems to me there are stepping stones. Time frame of your choosing:
1) stopping and making it through the wall of do I or don't I.
2) Hey, I can do this
3) Do I really want to stay committed?
4) Realization of being better off sober
5) celebrating within on being sober
6) flat spot, WTF is this? another less opaque wall to go through
7) On the other side of the wall, another realization and satisfied of being sober
8) Sobriety maintained and in tact. For now I remain preoccupied that I do not drink when in social situations because it keeps me there. Step 9 remains open.

so seems to me there are many walls that may be in front of me and I can't help but think that this wall is the tiny voice that always wants to obstruct my sobriety. Time makes it weak and really I don't worry with it or let it be the focus. Now that there's a duration of being healthier, I like it. And I remind myself of that. It helps when the walls gets in the way.

Sam

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Folks don't feel alone. up to 75% of recovering alcoholics suffer from Paws in one way or another. Recovery is a process and if you read the posts here it isn't instantaneous. The good news is that the damage we've done to ourselves is reversible and things do get better albeit slowly for some of us. The symptoms for me have been rough but constantly improving.

The key for me was understanding it early on. Had I not done my research I know for sure that I would have relapsed by now. Just knowing that there was a reason for why I felt the way I did ( and still do sometimes) gave me hope. The tricky part is getting the word out without scaring away the newbies who just want to feel better now. That has been the genius of folks like NS, Byrdie, Lav et al. Without smacking people in the face they have offered encouragement that sands down the rough edges caused by Paws. To my horror I posted a thread on the Nest that talked about Paws and the response from some of the Newbies was panic. It was like OMG how can I do this for as long as two years. What I didn't know then was the miraculous power of time. Time truly does heal all.

If I can offer any advice to the folks on this thread is to be a constant source of encouragement to the Newbies. I haven't pulled my weight on that one but there is always today.

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

TJAF,
You have cracked the code! The Nest is a very delicate eco-system. Lav was my absolute North Star, all I knew to do was just stay sober another day and Lav said it would be ok. So that's what I did. I took a leap of faith.

It is a delicate balance.....it's very discouraging to be fighting your way thru the first week of sobriety and then someone tell you it's going to be 2 years before you feel normal!?? That would be disastrous....the good news is that we don't know what we don't know. What I DID know is that every week that passed was easier. I thought I had it made at one year, until I reached the second year. The wall that Sam was describing gets broken thru again then. After the first year, I STILL had a bit of longing for the good ole days, I felt the pull of AL still, I was VERY AFRAID of relapse. After I hit year two, however, I still GREATLY respected relapse and I KNOW I'm one drink away from it, but I do not fear it 'just happening'. I was afraid of accidently drinking, or just NOT thinking and blowing it, but now I know that I CONTROL this. Don't get me wrong, I am very aware of relapse and it looms over all of us, but I know I'm doing everything I can to protect my quit. I try to put all that worry into other things now. Here is the behaviour that I see happening to long term folks that makes me worry....they drift away from the very source of what got them sober in the first place. They stop posting as much here....or they don't attend meetings or they stop reading about this disease. THAT is the single biggest cause of relapse in my humble opinion. COMPLACENCY. The world out there is bombarding us with DRINK UP signals and we need every tool in our arsenal to fight that. Staying in the nest keeps me front and center on what is really going on out there. I do not want to start over...EVER AGAIN. I don't want to rip open that awful wound.

There are just some flat spots along the way and my best advice is to fake it til you make it. You WILL get thru the other side if you persevere!! After my 2 year mark, I haven't had one (knock on wood). It has been pretty smooth since.
If you are feeling the least bit wobbly, please come join us in the nest and help us with newbie's! It will help you, too! It will make you appreciate how far you've come and double grateful that all the heavy lifting is behind you!! :moon: xxoo, B

[peppersnow]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

giraffe1234;1704446 wrote: Hi everyone, just popping in quickly to say I'm still around.

NS, I think I'm experiencing the emotional ups and downs you mentioned you had in the first year. I feel depressed and miserable for no good reason. I have my share of personal and work-related problems - but the emotional downs I am experiencing are disproportionate to those problems. It gets so bad at times that I do not want to communicate with anyone; I can hardly talk and hardly think clearly. What's wrong with me?
Advice anyone? Please?

Giraffe and Skull...I'm right there now, too and it just occurred to me this morning that it might be PAWS. I'm coming up on 6 months, and for the past few days have felt incredibly sad. I have a few minor issues I'm grappling with that are disappointing, but the sadness I'm feeling is hugely disproportionate to the actual importance of the issues. Also feeling very lonely although not sure why, as I've got friends and family and a social life and am far from alone. I've been checking in and reading a lot over the past few days and am hoping that helps. I don't have any drinking thoughts, but the loneliness and isolation I used to feel the day-after drinking is there again. I'm also trying to focus on gratitude, and am going to hit the gym shortly and see if I can find someone to go for a walk with me later -- that's my strategy for the day. I hope you both feel better, too! :l

[roxane]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

TJAF;1704869 wrote: Folks don't feel alone. up to 75% of recovering alcoholics suffer from Paws in one way or another. Recovery is a process and if you read the posts here it isn't instantaneous. The good news is that the damage we've done to ourselves is reversible and things do get better albeit slowly for some of us. The symptoms for me have been rough but constantly improving.

The key for me was understanding it early on. Had I not done my research I know for sure that I would have relapsed by now. Just knowing that there was a reason for why I felt the way I did ( and still do sometimes) gave me hope. The tricky part is getting the word out without scaring away the newbies who just want to feel better now. That has been the genius of folks like NS, Byrdie, Lav et al. Without smacking people in the face they have offered encouragement that sands down the rough edges caused by Paws. To my horror I posted a thread on the Nest that talked about Paws and the response from some of the Newbies was panic. It was like OMG how can I do this for as long as two years. What I didn't know then was the miraculous power of time. Time truly does heal all.

If I can offer any advice to the folks on this thread is to be a constant source of encouragement to the Newbies. I haven't pulled my weight on that one but there is always today.

if it helps one person TJAF.........................this post has helped me right now.

i also would have relapsed by now if i didnt know the stages. i am faking it byrd. i didnt do the research, it was all here waiting for me to look for it, and i did.

the 'it will take at least a year' stuff frightened the bejeesus out of me, but i told myself dont look that far ahead, do 30 and see how it goes. so i did, and i am seeing, its not so bad. tough yes, but not the end of my life that drinking would have caused if i carried on.

[roxane]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

blimey, i sound almost evangelical :H

[TJAF]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Ive seen a few posts since I wrote about PAWS and before everyone freaks out about how long some folks experience the symptoms I need to correct something I wrote. From all that I have read, while 75% of we alkies experience PAWS its different for everyone. It can be mild and it doesn't necessarily last for 2 years. When I said 2 years I should have qualified the statement by writting that is the worse case.

[available]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I think TJ that knowledge that it may take two years is a good thing to take on board. We need to be kept on our toes that we will have our ups and downs and if i have to put a name to how i feel so i understand it more then great. I think as pepper feels the loneliness now. I dont have my best friend to help me through but i have so much more and i can have so much more. Its all a healing process and if i keep plodding along like i have been then i will get to the other side in no time at all.

[peppersnow]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

TJAF, I agree with Ava...I'd much rather know what might be down the road and be able to make a plan for dealing with it. I get not wanting to scare people (especially those newbies who are still very raw) but my guess is that most of us "tweebies" (that's what Ava called us recently) desperately want living AF to be our permanent state, and the more info the better. I'd read about PAWS a long while back in other posts, and that was helpful when I began feeling this way. So thank you for sharing!

I've also noticed the math games going on around here today and this evening, so here's mine: 1 gallon of vodka or gin purchased on Friday, gone by Sunday night. New gallon on Monday, gone by Friday night = 2 gallons/week, x about 24 weeks...x $23 per bottle. That's about 50 gallons of booze that was NOT poured over my poor liver for the past 6 months and over $1000.

Am thinking a pedicure might be in order, and not the waste of money I used to think they were!

[Rahulthesweet]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Went for my blood test today results came out ... I need to stop these sugary stuff and junk food ... Liver all ok but lipids out ... Lot better than what it used to be but not exactly what I expected,

[NoSugar]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

I also liked knowing that it takes awhile to fully heal. When I was feeling bad, I clung to the belief that it would get better eventually and didn't get too caught up in "Is this all there is???"
To me, that would be much more discouraging than knowing it takes a couple years to be well.

A friend of mine, FallenAngel, has been sober for 8 years. She consciously works on exploring and enlarging some aspect of her life every year and has some rituals that keep her focused on what she has achieved and how much she values it. That approach can take us beyond healing into the realm of being "better" than before.

[Eloise]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

peppersnow;1705186 wrote: TJAF, I agree with Ava...I'd much rather know what might be down the road and be able to make a plan for dealing with it. I get not wanting to scare people (especially those newbies who are still very raw) but my guess is that most of us "tweebies" (that's what Ava called us recently) desperately want living AF to be our permanent state, and the more info the better. I'd read about PAWS a long while back in other posts, and that was helpful when I began feeling this way. So thank you for sharing!

I've also noticed the math games going on around here today and this evening, so here's mine: 1 gallon of vodka or gin purchased on Friday, gone by Sunday night. New gallon on Monday, gone by Friday night = 2 gallons/week, x about 24 weeks...x $23 per bottle. That's about 50 gallons of booze that was NOT poured over my poor liver for the past 6 months and over $1000.

Am thinking a pedicure might be in order, and not the waste of money I used to think they were!

Wow Pepper, think how happy your liver is these days too!
I also appreciate the 2 year warning, I am so done hoping for the best. Now I want a plan

[Byrdlady]

100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

Rats, Rahul. Sorry to hear this. Mick was JUST talking about this over on the daily AF thread. Good news about your liver!!! We can work on the other stuff, but you cant live without your liver!

Edit to add: great to see you over here, Molly! Back in the old days we just plowed ahead not knowing anything but just keep going. It is so great how this place has changed, so many folks like you, Pav and NS ( and many others) posting valuable links! Knowledge is power! B