100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Lavande]

Hi there Steady,
Sorry about your Dad's pneumonia, so common among the elderly.
What a wonderful gift our sobriety is not only to ourselves but to everyone around us. Here you are approaching your two year AF anniversary - Yay!!!

[Guitarista]

Yo everyone.

100 days again today. Nice to be back. Next target - 6 months.

Hope your dad's doing ok Steady.

Take it easy out there. G

[treetops]

Just sent you a wee message on the Newbies Thread Mr G. Congrats my dear!

[Guitarista]

Thanks TT. :happy2:

[NoSugar]

I've been waiting for you to slip in here, Mr. G. Welcome :hug:!

[Guitarista]

I've been waiting for you to slip in here, Mr. G. Welcome :hug:!

Thank you Mam. :happy2:

[Lavande]

:welldone: Yay G!!!!
Welcome back & please stick around for eternity!!!!

[Byrdlady]

Yo everyone.

100 days again today. Nice to be back. Next target - 6 months.

Take it easy out there. G

Welcome to the Hall of Fame. G! SO proud of you!!! B

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi long timers,

Hows everyone doing ?

I came out of town to travel on a business trip. For those who know me they know its noting new. But this place I came was a bit special. I have history of drinking and boozing. I used to stay in this great hotel as it served cheap beer in happy hours. Then all the bars around were dirt cheap and great with live music especially rock music.

Boom 1 year layer I am back in this place ... sober. The hotel seems so tad dirty and run down. With no interest in booze what so ever and the bars around the place kinda felt boring ... but then had great sea food for dinner, and called upon to do some networking with bunch of round tablers (google round table and you will knwo what its all about). This is a network of people who are under 40's , they being young and presumably successful, party a lot and do a lot of social service. The group I met today even started their own charitable school !! But these fellows likes to drink and party. So I met to one of their booze sessions I was not so back except they were surprised that I dont drink ! They just could not digest. ... I did tell them I left drinking about an year back and I could see the expression in their face "why !!??" Deciding not to share my wisdon once again I chickened out with a lame excuse.

But then I was their very shoes not so long ago and I do remember how I used to feel about folks who dont drink. And I wonder what they too must be thinking. I their talks which involved ... "we had so much fun yesterday we were partying and drinking till 3 AM".

But these dont affect me at all today. I dont feel pity for them, I dont feed bad for myself, nor do I feel proud for being sober. all I felt was I dont belong with these guys .... They are in a different phase of life which is a clear mis match with me. i mean here am I with REALLY enjoying small moments i life. Weather, good food or heck even a chilled can of coke on a hot day ! And there were these guys drunk and still not satisfied !

Makes me wonder who envy's who ...

[Sunbeam]

People at lunch were talking about drinking, how much they drink, others who always have a wine box on their fridge. They know I don't drink any more, I said nothing. My life is better without alcohol, but I don't wish to judge others nor defend my choice.

[Lavande]

Sunbeam, sorry you had to listen to that 'bragging'? When we were very young it was cool to brag about how much you could drink. Somehow it just looks & sounds stupid when adults do that, don't you think?
I exercise at Curves 4 days/week with mostly people around my age, some older. No one brags about their drinking escapades, thank goodness. But once or twice a week a younger woman comes in to run Zumba classes & I've heard her brag about how much she had to drink the night before......not very classy IMHO! Takes all kinds!

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

There are several people in my life who when I see them say something to the effect of "still not drinking? You're being so good." "That's so good." "You are still wearing that halo," etc. I usually say something like - "being not so good is what got me here" or something like that. I guess two things - one I don't want anyone to think that getting sober is as simple as being good. It makes it sound like I've given up chocolate or something just using will power. I want people to know it was work, so that they can think about how to make it work for themselves if they want. Also, I get the feeling that these people (two in particular) view me as thinking I am better than them. One definitely has a problem with alcohol and the other one has complete control right now (although she does seem to "need" a drink in certain circumstances).

Anyway - I was going to ask for advice, but I know what I would say to myself. Don't give a crap about what others think, and take the praise. It is "good" to give up alcohol.

I am rambling. Happy Sober April 12.

Pav

[NoSugar]

Your post reminded me of something I've been meaning to share here. I appreciate that she wrote this, but I wonder how much has been left out. Her tone is much like the one I have used for "public consumption". I now try not to make it sound like a breeze but the fact is, no one remarks about it much anymore.

By Kathleen ParkerOpinion writerApril 3

For a variety of reasons, I gave up alcohol on Jan. 4.
I have your attention, don’t I?
Kathleen Parker writes a twice-weekly column on politics and culture. She received the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary In 2010. View Archive

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This is because people who enjoy drinking are always curious about people who stop. I know I always am.
And this is so because most regular imbibers, especially us wine drinkers — and especially mothers — worry that perhaps we enjoy it too much.
Wine is an elegant gift on multiple levels, most importantly because it allows aficionados to say they don’t really drink, they “just drink wine.” Additionally, wine comes attractively packaged with clever names, bottled for two and corked with denial. Unlike whiskey or beer — the stuff of cowboy and fraternity brawls — wine carries the whiff of civilization. Jesus turned water into wine; therefore it’s a sacrament. The French do it; therefore it’s sophisticated.

Wine drinking comes with its own elaborate protocol, involving gleaming glassware, an elite language all its own, ceremonial dispersals and priest-like men who describe in luscious detail the attributes and character of the grape that sacrificed its flesh for our sundown redemption.
By any other name, wine drinking is a religion; the sommelier its high priest. We, the connoisseurs, are congregants who study the seasons and varietals with catechismic reverence. Our children become acolytes in the holy communion of drinking.
Which brings me to my reason for writing this column.
For some reason during this Holy Week, I’ve had similar conversations with several women who’ve also stopped drinking, at least at home. We shared funny but cautionary anecdotes about our children and parenting experiences.
One was about the boy who set the table with milk glasses for everyone except Mom, whose place was set with a wine glass. Another involved a child who pronounced to a roomful of adults that her mother loooooooves wine so much, she could never give it up for Lent.
We all laughed because it’s so true for so many. We looooooove our wine. I can almost hear the chorus drifting across the plains: Don’t even talk to me about giving it up . After so many decades of committed wine drinking, how could I? Besides, as my inner oenophile can’t resist further elucidating the record, I may enjoy a glass of wine or two in the future.
But here’s a distinction with a difference: My children are grown. They are no longer watching my every move to learn how they should live. But for many years they did — and I wish I had been a better role model.

History tends to repeat itself in families. I learned to drink from my father, who was pouring me cocktails in my teens. My (someday) memoir of our remarkable relationship after my mother’s death at 31 will be titled: “He Needed the Company; I Needed the Smokes.”
My drinking never ceased for all the ensuing years, except during pregnancy, illness or occasionally to prove to myself that I could stop. For the most part, my glass of choice had a stem and I passed many glorious evenings on dozens of porches and stoops, talking with friends and celebrating the wonders of . . . everything.
My son and stepsons bore witness to these rituals and developed rituals of their own.
I am prompted to this confession by Amy Joyce’s recent piece for The Post’s On Parenting blog. The topic was about when to start talking to your kids about underage drinking. A survey by Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and Nationwide Insurance found that one-third of parents wait until their children are between ages 14 and 18, yet about 30 percent of eighth-graders have tried alcohol.
And children as young as second- and third-graders have begun to form impressions about alcohol. This is when MADD recommends that parents begin talking about drinking. Yet, of eight “social harms” listed in the study, parents ranked drinking seventh behind other concerns that often involve alcohol, including sexual assault, car accidents or unplanned pregnancy.As our Hallmark approach to relationships and virtue goes, MADD has designated April 21 as talk-to-your-kids-about-drinking day. One day a year is a start, I suppose, but it has the same feel as once-a-year worship — or of commercially sanctioned appreciation of mothers, fathers and valentines — absolving us of neglect the rest of the year.
Experience suggests a better course — a simple if sometimes daunting rule of nature that persists through time: Monkey see, monkey do.
Read more from Kathleen Parker’s archive, follow her on Twitter or find her on Facebook.
Readmore on this topic:
The Post’s View: The ABCs of policing underage drinking
Jim Yong Kim: Battling high-risk drinking on campus
The Post’s View: Stopping the flow of alcohol on campus

Ruth Marcus: Dartmouth’s new college try

[Pavati]

Thanks for that, NS.

[Lavande]

Thanks for that article NS.
Reading that makes me wonder why my father bought me a bottle of wine for my 16th birthday!
My parents never drank wine
Up until that time the only wine I ever had was about my friend's house. Theirs was an Italian household & wine drinking was an everyday, normal experience.