100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Byrdlady]

Elvis and Jane, I'm the same way. I have moved on (thank goodness). That's not to say that I can't look back in a photo album and see that I was sheet faced and out of it, I still cringe at all that. But the good parts of being AF have most definitely outweighed the bad parts of being drunk. I guess I am healing in every way.
B

[jane27]

Thanks Elvis & Byrdie!!! xoxox

[Pavati]

Hi,

I don't feel guilty about drinking - I just have some skeletons in my closet unrelated to drinking that I need to forgive myself for. They're not really anything I have ever talked about, but time to time rear their ugly heads. I need to help them find a final resting spot.

[Lavande]

Greetings & Happy Mother's day

Keep looking forward folks. All that stuff in the past is history & we can't do a damn thing about it but we can shape the future

[Sunbeam]

Great words, Lav. Sometimes that self loathing turns into fuel for drinking. I just feel freedom now. Life isn't perfect but it is great, so much better than when I was drinking.

I'm getting excited about retiring at the end of next month. I joined this site in part because I was thinking about retirement, but afraid that I would fill all that spare time with alcohol.

[Lavande]

Sunbeam, I am sure you will have a long & pleasant retirement
Life is so much better without AL. Who needs perfect anyway when freedom & mind peace is what we really need? Lol
Wishing you a very happy retirement :welldone:

[STEADFAST]

Hello 100DCMs!

It's almost three weeks since my Dad passed away, and I'm starting to get back to a semblance of normality. As everyone who's been through it knows only too well, it's a difficult time when one loses a parent. I give SO MANY THANKS, for my sobriety, and for the lovely people who support me, especially fellow MyWayOuters!
As I process the loss of my Dad, I feel even more sober than at any other time in the past two years of not drinking. It's another wake up call about the preciousness of human life, and the passage of time.
As humans we all have our trials and tribulations. One thing for sure is that sobriety and clarity allows for a good response to whatever gets thrown our way.
Sorry this post is so serious, it's just where I'm at at the moment.
For those who've spoken of guilt and regret, whether alcohol-related or not, finding someone to talk to (perhaps a professional) can really help get things into perspective.
That's it for now, I wish everyone well, love,
Steady

[Byrdlady]

Steady, I am so sorry about your dad. It's a tough time in our lives when we lose our parents.

There were many things I was grateful for when I lost my dad two years ago, and one of the major ones was that I had 2 years of sober time under my belt. My family needed me to be present, and I was. I was able to help with decisions and get people where they needed to be, at any hour. It was truly a blessing. I approached that difficult time the same way I approached the loss of AL, one step at a time. I used the same coping skills for both. It REALLY helped....I had the TOOLS to get thru it.
My thoughts are with you, and I wish you strength and peace. Hugs, Byrdie

[Lavande]

Steady, glad you are OK since your Dad's passing. It is a tough time for sure!
Better to feel all the feelings now & not blur them with AL. I am grateful every single day for my AF'ness :hug:

[jane27]

Thanks for your post Steady. I'm sorry to hear about your father, but I am also very inspired by your sobriety, clarity and calm. Much love to you xo

[Samstone]

how do all
haven't looked in here for awhile, gorgeous day out in ol Virginny. Steadfast, sorry about your lost. I think of my parents daily, wishing they were still here. Sometimes it is hard to realize just how physically gone they are but still clear as day in my mind.

Off to enjoy the day
Sam

[available]

Hey Steady, so glad to see you around and you are doing well. I bet your dad was one very proud man of what you have achieved with your sobriety. I know my mum is since she talks about it all the time!

Hugs to you lovely lady and damn its cold in melbourne isnt it? Thailand to melbourne, wow!

[STEADFAST]

Byrdlady, so you were two years sober when your Dad passed too. You're right that it is the best way to be so we can do what needs to be done and support those around us. And Lavande, that's true it's better to deal with the bad feelings rather than blotting them out.

Ava, I never told my parents just how big a problem I had with alcohol. I told them when I stopped (I had to!), which they were quite surprised at. They would have been very upset if they knew the extent of it. My Dad worked for a liquor company, and we always had a LOT of al at home. Even though there were times they came home to find me flaked out and incomprehensible and were concerned about it, I think they thought I was just a silly teenager. Once an adult it was my responsibility to deal with it. Or, as it turned out, NOT - for a very long time!

I came across an article today on the impact of heavy drinking on the adolescent brain, and felt really angry with myself that I started getting drunk at thirteen years of age. It's a recipe for alcoholism later in life. (There's no history of al abuse in my family, that I'm aware of.)

Anyway, on a lighter note, hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Yes, Ava, it's bloody cold in Melbourne now! Might hibernate with some DVDs.

Enjoy your sober weekend everyone! :happy2:

love,
Steady

[STEADFAST]

Hi,

I don't feel guilty about drinking - I just have some skeletons in my closet unrelated to drinking that I need to forgive myself for. They're not really anything I have ever talked about, but time to time rear their ugly heads. I need to help them find a final resting spot.

Pavati,

I'm so sorry you are troubled by "skeletons in the closet." I can relate, but I found once I had talked them through with a therapist, they no longer haunted me. I like the idea that you want to "help them find a final resting spot", that's a good way to put it. We can't change the past, but we can process it and move on. I wish you all the best.

Steady
x

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Thanks for the kind words, Steady. I think I can move forward, but I wish certain thought would stop popping up. The Buddhists would say I just need to look at the thoughts and watch them float by. I am working on that.

I am sorry for your loss. I have yet to face a really difficult situation sober (like the death of a parent). I am very happy to hear your description (and yours, too, Byrdie). The peace of sobriety is such a great thing. I am parenting two teenagers, and I am so grateful that I am doing it sober. I can be here and present for them any time of the day or night, and am free to drive, talk, or whatever they need. It feels so great to have such clarity during an important time of their life.

Good to hear from you, Sam. Glad Virginia is good.

Hope you all have great weekends!

Pav