100 Day Club members/Maintenance Thread

[Samstone]

hello Sushine, glad to see that you pop in, don't stay a stranger

[Byrdlady]

Hey Abbers....
I was reading around the site today and came across a faithful member who commented that life was getting stressful and that part of it was checking in here every day. The person was going to take some time off. I wanted to take a deeper dive into that, because I've seen it 1000 times on MWO.

We come to this site at some of the lowest points imaginable. We manage to climb out of the hole and regain our footing. We start to feel NORMAL! The only thing is, we are NOT normal.

I am a student of history, and I think most of us here have more in common than the average bunch. We all have problems with AL and we are all trying our best to overcome those issues. As an observer of thousands of people on this site over the years, there are some red flags that tend to jump out at me. I have tamped them down many times in the past, thinking that I was being overly critical, but I must tell you, that I find that over time, they have turned out to be a pretty reliable indicator of the future.

Stress and anxiety. As this builds up, the very thing we need to do is rely on our support system. This is NOT the time to drift away. What happens to most of us when we get overwhelmed? Three guesses and the first two don't count. Yep, we drink.

Stress and anxiety are the reasons we should stay connected to our support system like GLUE!
I have seen the folks that say, I just can't spare the time to be checking in here and keeping up with a thread. I think the thread only had 11 entries! I understand that people get busy...I am busy also. I have a full time, stressful job. I keep the house up and the laundry done and all that goes into running a home and family, but I MAKE time to check in with my support. Without my quit, all the rest suffers. My quit is my #1 priority. I remember promising that if I could just quit drinking, I would do anything. I didn't put any strings on that....like, unless I get really busy, or unless I'm on vacation, or unless I'm stressed out. THOSE are the times when relapse happens. Drifting away from our support because we are stressed is like spray painting, 'Because I'm thinking about relapsing and I don't want to admit it here'. Like I say, I just look at trends, and this is one of them.

I check in here every single day, regardless if I'm on vacation, or a company convention or extremely busy at work. If I can't check in, I text someone who can check in for me. Maybe that's extreme, but I'm almost 5 years sober.... so it's working for me. Lav is almost 7 years sober, it's working for her. JackieClaire is 6 years sober...it works for her.....so I maintain that the secret to success is being part of a support system. This is mine....I couldn't ask for more. I don't have to leave the house...it's at MY convenience and on my schedule. It's a small price to pay for all I've gotten in return. I'll never forget that night in my bathroom when I got down on my knees and prayed that I would be able to get sober. This is what helps me keep that promise. Byrdie

[Lavande]

Geez - my bird brain
I didn't realize it had been so long since I last visited this thread.

Sunni, great to see you! Congrats on your continued success!!!

Hey there Sam, TJ & everyone!

Byrdie, checking in daily causes no pain or stress. It actually feels normal & routine after all this time. Why change something that works so well?
You & I both are serious about this being our last quit & we have a good deal of company too

[Byrdlady]

Lav, you lead by example, and so far you have been a magnificient one. Thank you for your dedication to your quit and this site! Your actions matter! I am proof of that! Xoxox

[available]

Lovely to see you Sunshine and congrats on 2 years. I always wonder how you are and glad to see no relapse a happening. Coming up to 2 years and no rose smelling much here either but damn being sober is so much easier to deal with (as TJ says).

Byrd i totally agree with you that checking in here is paramount to my sobriety. I remember when i first joined here all gungho and ready to stop just like that to leave as it was "too hard" and i was so much better than others here. Realising that i was no better than anyone on here and making getting sober my top priority was the best decision i ever made. Now staying sober is my top priority. Ive seen the relapses after a year or two or three etc and i dont want to be there. I want to be and keep sober forever.

Hi to everyone. x

[STEADFAST]

A timely message from you Byrdie, thankyou. Still struggling with anxiety , and have thought and dreamed about drinking but I WON'T! Best wishes to all, Steady

[narilly]

Sunny, Congrats on 2 years! Way to go!

Birdie, that was a good post. I think it is important to keep connected to a support system. MWO was key in my sobriety. Last night I had a tug when we were at my in laws house. I thought it would be nice to have a sip of scotch. Right away I thought of MWO and realized how important it is to keeping me accountable and reminding me I cannot and do not drink.

Hello to Steady, Ava, Lav and everyone else. Have a great sober Thanksgiving Monday. (Canadian Thanksgiving)

[STEADFAST]

Hello 100 Day Clubbers,

My anxiety is still through the roof, but i want to log on and say hello. I think my mother now having dementia (since my Dad died in April) and constantly asking me how and where Dad is, is wearing me down. Also, my siblings and i are in the process of going through Mum and Dad's house (Mum's now in a nursing home) to get it ready for sale. We have to sell the house in order to pay for Mum's nursing care, and it's all very emotionally charged. (One sister is estranged from the rest of us, complicating things further.) I work in a call centre all day, in front of a computer and with phone constantly ringing, and i think i'm just getting too old to deal with this type of work! Hubby's still getting stoned daily, so isn't really available. Oh dear, this litany of complaints is not what i had intended to post about!

I wanted to tell you that i was walking down the street yesterday, passing the pub that i used to haunt on a regular basis. One of the bartenders was outside having a cigarette. He said "Hey! You haven't been in in ages!" I replied, "No, I don't drink any more, haven't drunk for about two and a half years now - I simply cannot drink any more...." He said "That's great, good on you!" and gave me a 'high five.' It made my day!

Hope everyone's travelling well. Thanks again Byrdie for that post about checking in regularly - I hear ya!

love,
Steady

[Rahulthesweet]

Hi All,

I am carrying a heavy leg now a days a fractured leg with a huge plaster which hangs on my body, clings on it and reminds me of its importance as well as of its uselesnes today. It forces me to be lot less active.

I was hung on to booze once and it grounded me, it was a burden and it hung on to my life just like this plaster on my leg. Booze made me emotionally weak. But we are not debating that.

Byrdlady In saw your post and so agree with you about the support system. Few days back I saw a movie called my name is bill. It's about the guy who started AA. While I am not into AA but I know it is all about finding the support. And that's the reason why it works. In the movie, at a time when there was no AA and alcoholics were considered as lunatics and there was no such thing as recovery Bill during his earlier sobriety post rehab actively seemed put someone (an alcoholic) or anyone (alcoholic like him) to talk to. Anyone (alcoholic) who can bear him out. And his purpose was not to help other alcoholic but to help himself. It's the power of support.

I read a book called power of habits. There it is scientifically discus ed how "we" can change bad habits rather than just "I".

Great to see Sunny now 2 years, I am surely getting there .. too

[TJAF]

Interesting that I logged back on after a bit of time away and I see a discussion on the importance of a support system. Timely. All is well for me. I don't think much about alcohol and really haven't missed it for some time now. There is the occasional thought but really no cravings and I don't know if that should concern me. Relapse is always a second away for an alcoholic and complacency bothers me. Is it better to remind myself everyday that I am an alcoholic or just let it all fade away. Booze dominated my life for so long that this respite is a joy but I am so scared that in a weak moment that miserable bitch will trick me into slip. Don't know the truth here but Byrdie thanks for the reminder that there is a safety net!

[Byrdlady]

TJ, I JUST read a post from Choices about this very topic. She was sober for 4 years. I remember her well, she was an avid poster. She said she has been drinking for the past 18 months.
I totally understand that people want to get on with their lives....I am one of them. I want to live like a normal person. Unfortunately, I am not. I have this chronic disease and I need treatment to keep it in remission.
Today, Choices is starting all over, having scared herself and her husband to death last night. All of her fear and self-loathing are evident. Checking in here once a day for a few minutes to keep my quit intact is a SMALL price to pay for all the benefits I get for keeping sober.

AL is the most destructive, cunning, ruthless opponent I've ever met. Yes, I'd like to forget I have a problem with AL, but I worked too hard to get here and ONE drink can take me back down the hole. There are 1000 factors working against us out in the real world (friends, family, advertisements!!) there is ONE that is working FOR me and I'm using it right now. Talking about all of this keeps me strong.

Thank you for checking in TJ. ALWAYS great to see you! Byrdie

[Rahulthesweet]

Well just to add there could be a level or extent of support one may desire. It may vary from one person to another. I am not an expert on this but I guess I see people who NEED to talk about issues going on their lives with others. Sometimes I see two friends walking in the park and just talking and talking and I feel what all they talk about ? Can I same way conclude that if someone is in their lowest possible depth of AL can that same person who need people around for anything or everything small issue EVER conqueror the addiction without talking to someone ? I cant say this but I would guess it this way I am not one of those persons who discussed issues with everyone or anyone. I am inherently shy.

But then there could be an opposite of that person who does not shares and keeps things to itself and gets frustrated, claustrophobic as there is no one to talk to. While that person may solve their day today problesm without speaking to others but when it comes to coming out the mess of addiction IF he/she talks to someone else I can imagine it could be such a HUGE relief. Its like opening a vent out of a blocked pressre pipe.

in either case support does help.

But to raise question once again to what extent : AA or just online. Well that depends upon person to person but some support is a good reminder that of the problem at hand.

I may not be so active on MWO today but I recall time when I used to keep myself in newbies next like a young infant. posting and reading daily. but reminder of that itself, the time, the early days of recovery and people had an important impact my life. I carry a part of MWO daily at all places. I sometimes do imagine how LAV, or Byrdlady react to a situation and then get inspired by it. That is I guess the power of support.

At least thats is for me. But just like you TJ I dont miss AL at all. I even had a one or two non alcoholic beers to give company to others but disliked the taste an ddidnt see any light bulbs going on.

[Lavande]

TJ & Rahul - Byrdie already knows this but maintaining an attitude of gratitude has been the #1 factor in keeping me away from AL.

It's just that simple!
Do what you have to do to remain positive, grateful & treat yourself with the utmost care & kindness. Be your own best friend!
I vowed to never ever disappoint myself again. I haven't & I won't. Life is good AF!

[Byrdlady]

So we have 2 bad knees around here...Rahul and Mick! I think you both are about 2 weeks in. I am so sorry, what a rotten way to spend your time off!

I was just reading a post from earlier this month from a member about to go to a rehab facility. She was describing all that AL had taken from her. My heart goes out to her, as I was nearly in the same boat. I thank my lucky stars that MWO worked for me. I am so thankful for this place and these people. Quitting this mess certainly wasn't easy, but it has really been worth it. Byrdie

[Pavati]

Hi, 100 dayers:

Sunni - so glad to hear from you. I think of you often, too. I hope all is well, and I'm glad to celebrate your 2 years with you.

I contemplate leaving MWO all of the time because my life is FULL and sometimes it seems like a lot to do. But first I would miss connecting with you all, and second I know from reading as much as possible that a sober community is key to staying sober. I don't have that in the flesh, so I rely on coming here to stay connected to the reasons that I quit. THANK YOU ALL!!

Rahul - for someone as active as you are, being laid up can't be good for you emotionally. I wonder how you can get out and get the blood flowing, even with a cast. Some upper body workout at the gym? Crutching up stairs?

TJAF - Love seeing you back, and I love your pearls of wisdom that you share in the nest.

Steady - sorry you're not feeling well. With all of that stress, remember to take care of yourself. Exercise, meditation, big hugs from loved ones - all important. I hope it all goes ok with getting the house ready.

Thanks all of you long timers for being here still. I like our little community

Pav