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Ah..that smell....

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    Ah..that smell....

    Hello fellow abbers...
    Yesterday was just one of "those days". First, while shopping with my friend at the grocery store she accidently broke a bottle of red wine. Just the smell of the wine made me "home-sick" for a drink. Then my husband & I went out to dinner. I swear EVERYONE was having a glass of wine. It put me in the worst mood. Mad at the world, because I wasn't drinking.

    In reality, I was mad at myself for letting alcohol become bigger than me, taking over my life. Today is a new day, sure I miss having a drink, but the inner voice is strong letting me know that living alcohol free is just my path to follow. Do you of have "THOSE DAYS"?
    Abby

    #2
    Ah..that smell....

    Oh yes! - and especially over a special dinner. That's when I have to pull out all the will power and determination possible in order to win the inner dispute between sense and desire.

    Glad you've got such a strong sense of the path to follow - if you can keep that focus it will help you get over those hurdles when they get in the way. It's been a real challenge this week keeping on the path - for the first time in 50 days I just wanted to come home each night and drink for drinking's sake - to 'unwind', 'forget the day', get drunk into a stupor and stagger to bed so as not to have to think any more - thank god the inner voice won through this time! So instead of one of those DAYS, can I have one of those WEEKS??

    Have a great AF weekend - and keep listening to that inner voice!
    :rays: Arial

    Last first day - 15th April 2012
    Goals:
    Days 1-7 DONE
    Days 8-14 DONE
    Days 15-21 DONE
    30 days DONE
    60 days
    100 days

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      #3
      Ah..that smell....

      Hi Abby:

      Good for you!

      I wrote a couple of months ago, about being trapped in a van with several co-workers, who had all "popped a top" on beer cans. There I was, with my face being rubbed in the smells, the sights, the sounds of half a dozen people all guzzling the brew. God it just about killed me.

      About that red wine bottle. A few years ago, I was at a bar and had about 6 or 7 beers, when a friend invited me to a private party at a doctors house. So we stopped at liquor store, and I bought a $125 bottle of Georges de LaTour Cabernet. I wanted to have the very best at least once in my life. Still look back on that night at the most mellow, and delicious poisoning I ever had. I think I passed out, after hitting the scotch again, and fell out of a chair on the doctors patio. Anyway, I digress. I just remember handling that bottle of LaTour like a new born baby. What with the beer and scotch already in my gut from the bar. I carried it like a nuclear detonator or something. I did not want to disturb it, or get any of the sediments stirred up. Certainly did not want to drop it on the floor. I would have died of shame at the time if that had happened.

      And by the way, I have had one of those "months" a few times during my new sobriety run. We are all allowed I think. I'm now over 16 months AF, and still the creepy little urge to blast my brains with the corn squeezins' attacks from time to time. Gotta keep working the program. Every day, something to reinforce sober thought and deed, is required for me. Every day.

      Be well.

      Neil

      Comment


        #4
        Ah..that smell....

        Neil,

        Please let your pretty doggy out from behind that fence.

        Thank you.

        Comment


          #5
          Ah..that smell....

          Abby, I think the world of you and will do whatever I can to support you. Shall we meet tomorrow @ Nordy's?

          Comment


            #6
            Ah..that smell....

            I have those days too, and I agree the dinner thing gets to me, I never really used wine as my vice, but it is something I associate with an elegant dinner, and i feel somehwat deprived when i have a fancy dinner or romantic evening and cant have a glass of wine, but i guess it is my own fault for drinking sooooo much vodka that i got hooked.
            It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
            James Gordon, M.D.

            Comment


              #7
              Ah..that smell....

              Hiya, having one of those 'days' right now, seems to be lasting for weeks though so am having one of those 'weeks', ooh this is so difficult.... BUT so worth it. Here's to another day.

              L
              Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

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