Drinking Thinking

[about time toooo]

Feeling an odd need to record this.

I am an old time user of this site but now an annual visitor except for today. I've been sober 8 years, nearly 9. Lost of life has happened during those years.

I had cause in the past month where I was struck hard with drinking thinking. It was an emotional issue.

When I was here more, I remember seeing lots of posts where people would either disappear or you could sense their thinking was altering.. giving themselves permission to drink. I had vowed to myself I would do whatever it took.. and I changed many things in my life to support my hard and fast no alcohol ever decision.

But there was something about my emotional distress that really brought my sobriety into focus. I was solidly aware that I was entertaining drinking thinking. Immediately I brought my strategies into place and I became so acutely aware that I was not wanting to drink. I was wanting TO BE DRUNK. I'd have happily passed over the having to get the stuff down my gullet in order to have the result.

Being conscious of this and kind of processing it in my brain gave me a bit of emotional distance from it and I could view it for what it was. Drinking thinking.

I guess it was a solid reminder of the simplicity of my task. Not to pick up an alcoholic drink.

And I wont.

Thanks for reading.

ATT

[Iwantmeback]

Drinking Thinking

Thanks for that post ATT! Makes so much sense and what great insight.... I'm going to to print this and carry it with me to read when I sense The Craving coming on! Thank you so much for sharing! Congrats on your nearly 9 years AF! A huge round of applause to you!!

IWMB...

[Daisy38]

Drinking Thinking

Profound! Thank you about time for sharing this, I will use this as a coping mech for stressful times when the desire not for a drink but to get drunk hits.

[retteacher]

Drinking Thinking

Hi ATT: Drinking thinking. Stinkin' thinkin'. Been there, done that. The last time I gave into it was the summer of 2012 after 3 years of sobriety. I'm an AA member & would go to speaker meetings at that time. My drinking thinking would allow me to think that: "Maybe I'm not an alcoholic." or "I'm not as bad as him/her." or "I was never arrested or lost my job." etc. Bottom line: I drank one night, & the next day the craving/obssession was on me like it had never left. I only drank for a few weeks, but the drinking began taking over my life once again. That relapse experience convinced me once & for all that I truly am an alcoholic. Once I take even a small sip, I'm off and running.

I do still get the urge to drink. Sometimes it's because of an anxiety I'd like to avoid or some other situation. I try to remember my relapse experience & see that I have no control over my drinking once I start. I cannot drink like a normal person, i.e. I cannot take the edge off wo/it turning into something ugly. I won't go back there. I've come too far into sobriety to throw it away.

Thank you for reminding me that the first drink starts w/a thought. The thought that a drink might not be a bad idea after all. For me, a drink is ALWAYS a bad idea.

Mary