Journey into Sobriety...

[Pebbles]

Journey into Sobriety...

I'm there too, I've even had my rabies shots for the journey haven't you Louise ?

Have a good one Neil
xxxx

[southernbelle47]

Journey into Sobriety...

I'm going to Kansas City....Kansas City here I come!
They got some crazy little women there and I'm gonna get me one!

I love road trips!

Nancy
PS..don't forget to eat ribs at Famous Dave's and pick up some bar-b-q sauce to take home!

[spacie]

Journey into Sobriety...

Howdy,

You worked hard for this vacation and think of it you'll be able to remember everything!
Can't wait to hear more.
spacie

[xtexan]

Journey into Sobriety...

Day 2- Ghosts and Angels

Hello Sports Fans!

I am exhausted as I write this. Legs are sore. I forgot how much walking I did back in the day when I used to go to school here in Lawrence, KS.

I had originally intended just to stay here for a few hours, but circumstances got the best of me. I went and did a little memory walk, checking out the various places I used to live while at KU. The dorms, the apartments, and such. I lived in 4 different places while here, and one of them is gone forever.

I went to the private dorm I used to live in, and they let me walk around on the floors, and I took a lot of pictures, trying to get a record of my past. Many things look so much smaller than I remember them. It?s not that I?m any bigger physically (well maybe a little in the girth), but I?ve been 6?2? since I was 25 years old.

No, my perception of the world has changed. For example, I could have sworn the dorm rooms were much bigger. They were TINY. That comes from me living in my big house out in the boondocks these days. My perception of what is large has just changed.

The kids on campus look like they are little kids to me. The girls and boys are BABIES, compared to my 51 year-old, booze and weather-beaten hide. They are so young.

Anyway, I went to the engineering building, and was lurking around. I saw a fellow come out of what used to be the wind-tunnel area, and I asked him if it was still operational. I told him who I was, when I graduated, and all the stuff. I proceeded to get a 5 hour tour, and run-down of the whole Aerospace Department. I met a full tenure professor, that graduated with his BS, 4 years AFTER ME. Good God, I am old. They even fired up the wind tunnel for me, so that I could reminisce, and see how things had changed a bit with the technology. That was very kind of them, to be nice to the visited alumnus like that.

My video camera kept getting the eyeball by many of the students and faculty. Seems like it was an object to covet. I could have only dreamed of such toys when I was a student.

I walked, and walked, and took mucho video and photos. A catalog of my past for later reference will be valuable as I continue my recovery and healing.

You see, some of my major drinking behavior (like a great many others), happened while at university. I saw a few of my old watering holes were still operational, and feeding a new generation the liver ripping poisons of inequity. Oh well, college is a time to be carefree, and when we are young, we can afford to be a little on the wild side I guess.

Many memories of the best time of my life came flooding back. But, at the end of day, I also remembered a lot of bad things that happened to me during drunks. Car crashes, girl friends lost, classes missed, injuries to body, soul, and mind. I wish I had been able to drink in moderation back then, but it has just never been in the cards for me to be able to do that under any conditions.

This is therapeutic, and cathartic in a lot of ways though. Sins of the past against myself can be forgiven. I have made it to the future. I asked a lot of folks on campus if they remembered anything about 1980 or so. Most just shook their head, and said, ?Wasn?t even born yet.? I saw at least one professor I remember. Holy cow, he was almost to the stage of needing a walker to get around.

I saw engraved on a set of concrete steps, carved in with a steel rod or something, some names, and the years, 1992, 1997, 2001, 2002, and finally 2004. It looked old, and trodden on by millions of feet. You see, I remember when that set of steps was first poured, and was brand new back in 1980 or so. Now it looked well used by the years. I think I am like those steps in a way.

So I will stay here in Lawrence for the night, and rest my bones. Must have walked 10 miles today, up and down steps for quite a bit of it. This has been indeed a good day for me. Evil ghosts of the past, were hunted down, and killed. Angels from the past, were revisited to see what possessed the dreams of a young man in his prime. This is a way to grow. Sober is as sober does.

Back at you tomorrow.

Neil

[lushy]

Journey into Sobriety...

Neil, your day reminds me of when I went back to my college to visit after 15 years. College years were the best four carefree years of my life. I thought it had not been that long since I had graduated but it had been. Same as you, the kids looked like babies. My professors were so much older, and in fact one of them had just died and I would have sworn he was not that old. But it was still a thrill to go back there and relive those times in my head. Seriously, the best four years of my life. Enjoy the rest of your trip. Sounds like a ball.....with a clear head no less!

[xtexan]

Journey into Sobriety...

Day 2-addendum

Oh yea, thanks everybody for your kind words of support.

Irish, Lushy, Spacie, Belle, Pebbles, Kali, Kathy, Hilary, Phil, Cassy, Susan,Paula, and Java. You are such great road companions. We need to get a Magical Mystery Bus someday, except without all the weird stuff huh?

One thing of note. I had all my supplement bottles on the counter, and just scooped them all into a nylon soft-side briefcase. Road food is just the pits. I need to find a better way. I think I will hit a grocery store for some fruits, and prepared deli salads and stuff. I miss my rabbit foods. I shifted my diet towards more whole grains and veggies. All this red meat and sodium is hard on the guts. Less about that later.

Eyelids slamming shut. ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

Neil

[irishlady]

Journey into Sobriety...

Hi Neil, thanks for the update, I think most of us are with you every step of the way.. I'm on holiday from work myself for the next two weeks, haven't planned to go away, but reading your travel journal I almost feel as if I am on a trip as well...

Isn't it funny, but when you go back, things, such as buildings and places never seem to be as big as you thought they were.. It seems a good metaphor for facing your fears, they never seem as bad as you thought either if only you turn round and face them..

I must say, that from reading your posts, your happiness and contentment seem to spring off the page, and I can see from some of your earlier writings from months ago how much you have changed and grown.. hope you don't mind me putting that but it was just an observation of mine..

It would be a good idea to print out all your posts from this trip and turn them into a journal then in years to come you could look back on them..

I wonder where you will be going to next, can't wait..

Safe journey,

Love, Louise xx

[xtexan]

Journey into Sobriety...

DAY 3- Hard push to the West.

To my fellow road warriors:

Got a good bit of mileage today. 484 miles (807 km). It was that vast stretch of I-70 between Lawrence, KS and Limon, Colorado. So this is where I holed up for the night.

Two things in my favor, were that the time change happened at the KS-CO border, so actually I had another hour, and more daylight by my home clock. Also, the speed limit in Colorado is 75 mph (125 kph), so I made good distance and time at the end there.

Nothing really interesting to report today. Just burning up road, and trying to get up into the Rocky Mountains for tomorrow. I am only an hour or so from Denver from here, and that battle will be for tomorrow. North from Denver up into the big mountains. The key here is always trying to find that perfect trout stream. If I see it, I will know it. Any fly fisherman has to rely on senses of a type, not normally used in the manmade world. You have to know about the fish, and where they may be. Just an instinct from long ago, perhaps lost on modern man. This is a spiritual sense more than anything. He who would fish for trout in the high Rocky Mountains, must indeed get to know the higher powers of creation. Something found in the sounds of nature, or a gut feeling like no other. The high Rocky Mountain trout streams are my altar, church, and cathedral. Watch that movie, "A River Runs Through It", and it sort of touches on what I am trying to communicate here.

I did almost get destroyed by an 18 wheel truck today, but a long horn blast, and foot to the floor acceleration got me away from the situation with little sweat.

I am now more than a mile above sea level here in Limon. I think elevation is almost 5400 feet (1646 meters). By the way, I try to convert to metric for our international friends here. Also, my engineering training got me to thinking in both systems early on.

I sort of went berserk in Topeka, KS. I bought yet another GPS system. So now I have two GPS units. One is the trusty old Magellan Meridian Gold, but the backlight went out on it. I have had my eye on those 3D color automotive GPS for a while, so now I own a Magellan Maestro as well. The two units complement each other well. Each making up the other ones deficiencies. I just love to be able to tell where I’m at, and where everything is, at all times. Call me Mr. Techo-geek.

BTW, Irishlady, if my demeanor has changed a bit, well I have explanation. Just being away from my work drudgery, and all the stress and strain is a blessing for me. Also, out here in the American west, the population density thins out quite a bit, and less hassle trying to fight for ones own space. Things are easier going, and peaceful out here it seems compared to the east side of the Mississippi.

Heres a link to Limon, CO if you are interesting in seeing where I am at now.

Limon, Colorado (CO) Detailed Profile - relocation, real estate, travel, jobs, hospitals, schools, crime, news, sex offenders

Tomorrow, a push north to Wyoming.

Neil

[SKendall]

Journey into Sobriety...

Neil, last year I drove from the Olympic Peninsula in WA state to Toronto via Dallas and back alone. It was absolutely liberating and exciting. In that whole trip I only ate 1 burger over 7 weeks and 7300 miles. At Denny's they make great salads and grilled tilapia. Wendy's does salads and sandwiches and of course the grocery stores have yogurt and all things healthy. I am so excited for you and look forward to more posts.

:l Hilary

[SKendall]

Journey into Sobriety...

P.S. When we all accept the fact that we don't have a perfect past and that most people don't alcoholic or otherwise, we can accept ourselves much better.

Safe driving my friend.

[southernbelle47]

Journey into Sobriety...

Hey Neil!
I think I just passed you on the road! ......NOT!
It really sounds like your getting to your "place"... That is the place where we can take a deep breath and "know" what life is really about.

Love to hear more "fish" tales!

Nancy

[irishlady]

Journey into Sobriety...

Hi Neil,

I clicked on that link, my God, that sky is awsome.. Can't wait till you get to the Rockies... Are you taking any photos that you can post in the gallery ??.. Oh, one more question, what is a GPS system ??..

Looking forward to tales from Wyoming, Safe motoring..

Love, Louise xxx

[Preciouspinot]

Journey into Sobriety...

Neil, I know exactly where you are! I graduated from the University of Colorado in Boulder. Happy traveling...I wish I were riding shotgun right now. Enjoy the scenery, fresh air and all the wildlife

[xtexan]

Journey into Sobriety...

DAY 4- No fish, almost to Montana


Well, I made my way to Sheridan, Wyoming. The @#$%*( hotel wireless does not reach my room. So I called the front desk, the place is sold out (like every other place here tonight), and he just said to move down to the lobby where the signal is good. Advertisement says wireless in every room. False advertising. So I found a Laundromat, where I get a signal. Needed to do the laundry anyway. Also, a short email to the hotel chain in question, with a few unhappy words.

On to the good stuff. My new GPS routed me around Denver via toll road, and I missed that mess altogether. Saved at least an hour. I did not get the call of the fish, and had an inner drive to go further north. So now I have a signal from Montana. It is just a few miles to the north of here.

Sheridan, WY is a very old, historic western type town. Very tourista. Summer time means hotels are full every night, and I barely got into the one I?m in now.

I saw several hundred pronghorn antelope between 30 and 60 miles south of Sheridan. A shrinking American species, like many others. I saw a magnificent buck antelope standing just a few yards from the road, and I wished I could have pulled over there, but it was a construction zone with cones and things.

So here I sit in a Laundromat in Sheridan, Wyoming watched the clothes go ?round.

I am thinking I may try to get as far north as Glacier Park in northern Montana. We?ll see. Almost to Canada. It is wilderness out here, compared to east of the Mississippi.
I have visions of heading back down through Idaho, and then Nevada. Stay tuned. Who knows where this will end?

Neil

[xtexan]

Journey into Sobriety...

Oh Irishlady:

GPS stands for Global Positioning System. It uses a system of satellites, put in place by the governement. If you have the little gadget, of which there are many types, you can tell exactly where you are on earth at any time.

You can put the signal in a computer, with road maps, or other things, and use it to navigate around with ease. You have to be a bit of a technical nerd to get the full enjoyment from it. Some of my best toys for a few years now.

Neil