Hi Gang,
I've had a tough week. Have a job where depressing things can happen and it's hard not to take some of that emotional baggage home.
Then dealing with preteens (C.h.a.l.l.e.n.g.i.n.g) and just life in general when things don't seem to be going right with friends, etc.
Had to cancel an event with someone and the event was very important to them that I be there but was having a major crisis with my one son and that had to take priority. Now she won't contact me and it makes me feel bad as I'm a very responsible person and generally don't cancel, bail out, etc. once I make plans with folks.
Actually really had a craving for a drink or two tonight. Like to save my one week-day or week-night for something really special like business dinner when everyone's drinking or midweek party event but fell into the "I'm stressed and need a drink mode"...and so I did. Was proud that I kept to my two 5oz drinks (that in itself is a miracle because in the past I could NEVER open a bottle and not drink the whole thing) but sad that I did it in the sneaky way as I drank before hubby got home on purpose as I didn't want to explain I felt the need to have a drink.
As we've been talking about triggers I've been pretty lucky because I really haven't had a bad craving for drinking like some people experience. But I really did tonight. Have a good friend I could have called for help but honestly I didn't want help. Just wanted to drink my two drinks and relax.
So triggers for me ... tonight I've discovered stress must be a big one. Just don't want to get in the habit of having this one be my excuse for drinking too often. There are other things like warm baths, music, talking to a friend, coming online here, etc.
No bad feelings going on...just wanted to reflect...and be honest and share.
Talk to you all soon.
Eve
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