Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Sunbeam;463740 wrote:
Peri, it is very important to take note of how good you feel when you haven't been drinking. Some people decide during that 30 days that they really don't want to drink any more. I don't want to talk you into any particular road, but just consider all possibilities.

Thank you Sunbeam, I will keep that in mind. And I will (and have) considered it. Time will tell. I would still like to keep my options open.

I also like what you (Sunbeam) said about "stopping now because I've had enough" rather than "because I've had my quota". I love reading and pondering things like that. If I can get to that point it seems to make sense. If not, it's not worth it. Also, I think it's about checking my motives before I pick up the drink in the first place.

Another butter story. Hubby made oatmeal this morning and put out milk (yuck, I never use it except in cooking), brown sugar, butter, and big plump black berries! If there are no berries available I like a little brown sugar and a little butter on my oatmeal, it's just what I do. But what I really wanted was the berries! Out of habit, I sprinkled on the brown sugar. I got to the butter and thought, "will this even enhance this experience for me?" I decided that no it won't. I left the butter alone and loaded on the berries. The breakfast was yummy without the butter! So of course I had to relate that in my mind to moderating AL at some point in the future. I thought when drinking situations come up I can think, "will AL really enhance this experience for me when what I really want is ______?" It made my insides smile as much as my oatmeal made my insides feel all warm and happy.

DeeBee and Vlad where are "you's guys"?

Happy weekend all you sqadrons!

periwinkle :groupluv: [a mod squad group hug]

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Hi Eve,

Looks like I posted before I knew you had one out there. I'm not there yet so I don't really have any advice for you. I can certainly understand not wanting any wine to go to waste I've always joked about that being alcohol abuse but alcohol abuse is a really serious problem as we all know. I will say that I liked your idea of freezing it for cooking with, at least it's not being tossed down the drain.

I will probably be faced with similar things in the near future so I will look forward to other's words of wisdom.

I wish you well.

periwinkle :h

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Hi Eve,
It is a very liberating experience to pour alcohol down the drain. If I tried to save that glass for cooking, I know it would tempt me, so pouring it down the drain just ends the conversation. It is much more of a waste putting too much alcohol into your body, rather than pouring it down the drain. It does take awhile to get to that point, to be able to accept that concept that we are wasting alcohol when we put too much into our bodies. Remember that I've been working out my moderation since April.

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

There wasn't much activity on the moderation threads yesterday. I took some time and went through some old threads. I was looking for successful moderation stories for encouragement. I seem to be craving that right now.

I would like to ask that if any moderaters are lurking and not posting their experiences, please PM me if you are not comfortable posting. I truly am in need of success stories, or not so successful stories, where moderation is concerned. I promise to keep it anonymous.

Sunbeam, I read an earlier series of posts where you planned to have a glass of wine for your husband?s retirement following a period of abstinence of about a month (I may have the exact number of days wrong). [This is publically posted so anonimity is not an issue here.] You basically were supported in that from other modders. This situation is in some ways similar to mine, concerning my husband?s birthday coming up about two weeks after my 30 day AF period. I shared that I had looked at the calendar and considered that before making my 30 day commitment so that I would have the option to share a bottle of wine with hime if that is what we choose to do. So, I was curious if you did follow through with the glass of wine? And if so, how did that turn out?

periwinkle

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Hi Peri,
Yes, I had wine at my husband's retirement. It was more than one glass, probably three. I had been AF for 2.5 months, starting in January. It was the beginning of my struggling moderation from April - August. I had a goal of 3-4 glasses per week, but never could keep to it. I had not yet accepted that fact that any drinking alone, which was most of my past alcohol abuse, will probably get me in trouble. I had not yet learned what I know now: if I keep my consumption to once per week or less, I can drink like a normal person. I think I learned from Bossman that it takes about a week for alcohol to completely metabolize out of the body, so I figured from that that I should try limiting my consumption to allow complete metabolism to happen. I am amazed how well it has worked for me, and that I haven't met others for whom this has worked.

Have you found the thread for the Long Term Moderation Contest? You could start another contest, with different rules. In my contest, meds and supplements were not permitted, because that's what I'm doing. The longest anyone moderated was I think 7 months. I definitely hope to win that contest, but the rules include no increases, so my start date for that would be late August.

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Evening everyone,
Gosh, I was afraid to post today. I guess you could say I messed up in a way - but there are two sides to every story!

First, I'd like to thank you all for trying to help the low-tech girl. I appreciate your feedback - Peri, I will copy and paste. And Zed! Thanks!

If you don't recall, I mentioned that last night my husband and I went out with a bunch of friends - a little gambling and free beer! I was really excited about going out since I have not been out in a long time. I went over my "legal" limit. I had 5/1/2 beers. My limit is 2, and have surpassed it two weekends in a row. I'll record this on the drink tracker, but also in my personal journal and tracker. Needless to say, I was not feeling too well today. Had to take advil for my headache and I haven't had to do that in three months. I'm still learning about modding - I know, not an excuse, but it is about learning from experiences and paying attention to what is happening, which I had never really done before. I will be abstaining the next two weeks - also on my personal tracker to do so.

Some really positive things about this night. For the past several years, I've not even wanted to go out and have a good time. I just wanted to sit and get blasted out of my mind. I did not have that urge to do that. I enjoyed talking to the people I was with, even saw people I hadn't seen in years and I felt great to be alive, and to boot, I looked great in my new jeans - although I haven't actually lost too much weight, I don't have that pot belly look.

Although I had the 5 1/2 beers, 3 were light beer and two regular. I did not get "drunk." I had a buzz going on. It was not a sloppy, slur-your-speech buzz like I used to get on the vodka. It was also over a 4 hour time period.

My husband also had a good time. It felt like I enjoyed what everyone can enjoy. I certainly didn't outdrink anyone.

Ok. That's it. I was afraid to face you all, but I did it. Please post any words, good or bad. Thanks guys.

p.s. did not take kudzu or l-glut. Forgot - was too excited for the night.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

J-vo
Awww! Hope you feel better! Will I get into trouble if I say that's what normal people do occasionally?
I just read Doggygirl's post in the biography section and I am really psyched! I want arms like hers! It was wonderful to read a total MWO success story.
Maybe I won't take topa - she didn't and was drinking lots more than me. I only take a multivitamin and fish oil, and l glut and kudzu. How about everyone here? Did anyone get the whole shebang from the health store here? Is it worth it? I know, I know, there are threads about that. I just wonder about you all here, because everyone is doing so well.
Lila

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

I just might order it! TONIGHT I am listening to the CDs!!! It is time to get more serious! (Last night I had 3 or 4 drinks) Forgot the supps and just not making the effort, but wanting the rewards...
Lila

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

DeeBee;458966 wrote:
When i joined MWO my idea of mod was having two glasses of wine EVERY night and then 4 to 5 on the weekend. I have to laugh at myself when i think of that....

When I read DeeBee's post (on page one of this thread) it did remind me how we all have different ideas of what moderation is for each of us.

Peri, you need some positive mod stories. Even though some of us post our episodes of falling down a little I think overall everyone on this board is doing pretty good.

Yes, I went over what I want my limit to be and so did my twin J-Vo (we eerily keep having Very similar experiences) but perhaps because we're so much more aware of drinking and how we want to control it and not the other way around, we're not having as bad experiences when we drink more than our intended goal. I know food intake and so many things play into how one handles liquor as I had one sip one time and it went right to my head and I honestly felt immediately drunk. But luckily last night I wasn't slurring, stumbling, blacking out etc. so it was a success to a degree.
Hope others will come forward and post their success with modding. Private mail is great but we could all benefit from hearing from others so please join us.
As I had to take a long nap and ruined a great portion of my day from paying for last night I started to think 1x a week only (like Sunbeam is doing) may not be a bad idea!!
Hugs,
Eve:l

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

ok now I feel like an idiot! Eve, I didn't mean that the squad sounds like a bunch of loosers! I didn't mean that in the least!!!!! I so didn't mean that! I think the squad is doing great! That's the thing with the the written deal isn't it?

Eve I think you are doing great! Any of us who are drinking less than we were are having success in my mind.

Let me pull my cyber-foot out of my cyber-mouth here! I will try to explain...

I believe as you do, that long term moderation is possible for at least some, clearly not all. And as we all know the over-riding concensus from many on the forum is that it is not possible or that it is rare. I already know that those of us who are here and present on the mod squad believe the same thing and are attaining at least some level of success. I was searching for and asking for some additional long term stories. I am just really needing that right now. I would prefer for it to be in public format so that we could all benefit. And I realize that it was selfish to ask for PM if there are those who wish to remain anonymous. But that is what I need to do for me right now.

Hope that clears it up a little.

periwinkle :blush:

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

periwinkle;464369 wrote: as we all know the over-riding concensus from many on the forum is that it is not possible or that it is rare.

Peri,
You didn't have to apologize. I was not offended in any way! Your quote above concerns me as I don't want you to feel that way.

I believe there are folks who are successful but it seems the only people really posting heavily are fairly newbie modders who don't have a lot of months under their belts. And as we stuggle with our day to day efforts as we're trying to figure out the moderating method that works for us it may seem we're not successful at it. I guess I do wonder if long term moderators stay on the boards. I'm surprised if they don't as I personally think the support should be forever as I think it's just too easy to slip back into old ways without support.

And yes...I just wanted to add my two cents to those that aren't posting that a private mail would be fine as there may be people who really want to be anonymous and low key but I was just trying to encourage them to choose the public forum if possible so we could all benefit.

Hugs to you Peri. I know you really need to hear some great successful moderating stories and I'm hoping some come your way. And hopefully all of us on the mod squad can have our successful stories to share one day.

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Hi guys, well, it's morning here, made it through last night again w/o a drink. Wow. I don't quite know what's happening to me, but I really am not feeling any major cravings these past 2-3 days... which is so strange and such a new feeling for me. I didn't quite think it would be this easy... but then again, it's very early days yet, so I have to be patient with myself and not think that I have climbed the Mountain when actually I have only reached the top of the very first Hill....

Eve11, I see you are still up. Go to bed soon and sleep well! I know what you mean (we all do) about going for that unplanned for 3rd... or 4th... glass... the drink poured & then left unattended by someone on a dinner table.. the free drink bought at a bar by a friend... after you're done with you're Mod quota and were ready to leave and go on home... sounds ALL too familiar, if that's any comfort.

I don't know how I can be of support to you with this, except to say two things (1) it's okay, so long as you keep it at worst case (cases like this where the unplanned hand of Fate steps in...) to just 1 extra drink than you had planned on. So if you planned 2, then ok, the extra glass on the table... in good grace, fine. If 3, then.. the complimentary drink at the bar... OK. That's kind of my way of dealing with these situations (moving forward) and my personal plan for such occasions.

I don't know about the rest of you guys in the Squad, but I also feel that it's equally important that we don't beat ourselves down with the G-word (Guilt) when situations like these crop up... I think guilt and the stress that comes from that can be as damaging to the system...

But of course the key is to stay in control and when these situations arise, to just graciously accept it and make sure that all it is IS 1 more than planned. That's my take. Hope that helps you Eve11! You're fine, I'm (we are) all completely with you on this!

Hello Lila, I am going it natural for now. So, Topa - not as yet. I seem to be making it okay at this stage, so I'm taking it one day at a time and seeing what I need/ how it goes. Sure there are others in the gang who can help you w some inputs though. Get what you're saying about keeping a clear head (non-fuzzy), I need that too with my job more & more.

Sunbeam & St John, you both sound like you are doing very well. So happy to hear that. Yeah, pouring stuff down the drain isn't something I've done often (only drastic hangovers have led to that.) Interestingly, the last time I did so was a few weeks ago, just before I decided to make a change in my life/ lifestyle and go MOD. Half a bottle of Vodka and a very nice 3/4ths of a bottle of Red doing the kitchen sink. 2 days later I bought another bottle of Red... but I was still glad I poured the 1st one out when I wanted to. Doing that I guess led me down the path on which i am today.

Beijing - will do folks, I'll send thru periodic updates about life here. Feel free to ask questions.

Cheers and Good Monday everyone!

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

J-vo, you rock! SO PROUD of you. Really, that sounds like a normal, good night: it was about Health and Happiness and Positive Energy with your hubby and long-lost friends, and that's what Moderation (to my eyes) is about.

Two subjects I'd love to hear from anyone who has any experience with about:

One - I think I'm fine until something BAD happens. You know, bad day at work... or a bad memory crops up.. still dealing with the remnants of a long relationship that went bad and when I hear her name mentioned, it hurts... sometimes to the point of driving me to that bad place with the bottle

Two - drinking alone. I took comfort a few years ago in Jack Kerouac (the writer's) words: "Drink never get drunk outside your own house." Of course, ol' JK ended up drinking himself to death, literally, at home, so he's not the best role model to have had... on hinsight. D-uh!

But one of the reasons I do (when I do) is that I really feel that I am in better control of my surroundings when I am by muself. I can stop at 2 (well, technically...) Whereas in a bar-setting/ outside, it's harder to stop coz the bar goes on and every one else keeps drinking (it seems)... So it's kind of a dilemma I'm facing as I get into Moderation.. how to go MOD, but alone. I don't trust myself, but I trust myself a lot more than having other people around who don't know my demons and who don't have my AL issues, who keep saying "c'mon, have one more!!'...

Thoughts welcome from one and all. Thanks.

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Happy Sunday Squadron!!

Took a couple days' break from the forum for a couple of reasons. One was I was very busy getting lots of good things done this weekend. As many of you may know, I work for a church and the senior pastor's wife just had baby #2 - and I was the one buying the baby and sibling gifts from the staff. It was so much fun to be back in a toy store and the infant department (my girls are young adults). The other reason I took a couple days' break was the tenor of the discussion on modding from a couple of our AF friends. Quite frankly, I get a little tired of others telling we modders how rare a breed we are!! I realize it's not for everyone, but please - support us, don't consider us dinorsaurs or frauds.

Welcome to our newbies like Zed, you add so much to the conversation. And J-vo, there's another way around the "timed out" problem. After you've typed a response and hit "Post quick reply" you may get that dreaded response that says you don't have permission to post (you've been "timed out"). If you hit "go advanced" which is right next to "post quick reply" it will take you to a new log-in but preserve your post. After you log in, you can submit your reply (it's at this point that I often throw in a graphic just for the fun of it). I am the least techie here, but through experimentation found this little lifesaver. Since it took me so long to catch up on this thread, I'll probably need to use it tonight!

It's late for old Vera, so will sign off. Hope everyone has a marvelous week. I do believe long term modding is not only possible but desireable. It's really a matter of establishing new, healthy habits long enough to the point that they're second nature. Talk to ya'll this week.

Vera-b

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 03/11/2008

Coffee!!!

Last post of the Day people: there's another thread on in MWO about Coffee... which is interesting. I was glad to know that folks are having the same issue that I am. Essentially, I have found a new appreciation for Coffee since going AF/ Mod a week ago. I know I'm a total newborn at this, but what's going on with the Coffee craving? Anyone else dealt with this? Can't be good in large amounts so "Plan Zed" is to switch over to Tea... let's see if it works. I have a feeling, though, that I am craving for the large dose of caffeine... so don't know if Tea's gonna cut it. Have no idea how this is related to going AL, but seems to be based on the timing and other folks' similar experiences.

Ciao for now! Procrastinated enough. It's almost lunchtime. Time to do some work!