Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Checking In

Hi All:

Just checking in. I'm having a much better week than last week. Don't know what it was, but I just found it hard to keep to my usual mod/AF schedule last week. So rather than fight it, which I've done some weeks ( I call it hanging on by my fingernails ) I was confident that since I was limiting to 2 or 3 each night, I would just let the schedule go for a week, not fight it, and start fresh on Sunday renewed.

So I'm 3 days AF this week and feel confident that "spell" of whatever it was is over. I see my counselor this week, and will discuss. I have some ideas about the triggers, some good things (I successfully won a negotiation to remove a contested bill of over $700 at my health club after several months of negotiation . . . that had been really worrying me) and several negative triggers (two 14 hour days where I felt I "deserved" a treat.)

So I'm back to exercising at the club, drinking an O'Douls or two, working regular hours, and checking in on the positive vibes that you all are sending out.

I read an interesting ABS thread the other day where many commented how much it bothered them to be on a site in which some folks mod. I think that is a true tension on this site, which we ALL have to acknowledge and accept. I know friends in AA are dismissive of the idea of modding - it's antithetical to the program. So here, I think it is very hard for those who have come to accept they cannot drink, to be around those who are modding: it tempts them into thinking "if they can, why can't I" which can be dangerous thinking for some.

The challenge for a newcomer is that when you first come onto the site, you don't know who is who, and the ABS folk are more likely to respond to the question "can mods work' than the modders are, so early response to new modders can be discouraging.

All this to say, keep up the support group here. You all are helping each other find your way. And that is the beauty of this site.

Best to all of us!

Ask

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Hey everyone,

Busy day! It's after 7pm here and I'm just now getting on here.

Eve, maybe you could type and edit in Word, then cut and paste into the reply box for now until things get worked out. Just a thought. Otherwise, I'll just keep ignoring the second post .

j-vo, it's ok to come here in a bad mood sometimes. We all get crabby. I had some stress and crabbiness and some tears myself today. Work related stuff for me too. I had a cup of tea, put a pot pie together and in the oven (home made not a frozen one) and went back to the computer to catch up with my cyber buddies.

Hey Bossman, I am having more fun in the field these days. Maybe my message is that I'm just supposed to start a zigsaw puzzle of a horse! :H

Ask, I just read your post. I can certainly understand the abs point about the modders. I really try to keep my mod points to this section. Seems sensitivity is the key. Thank you for stopping by to say hello. Sounds like you are doing well!

For everyone with teens, and preteens, I know this is hard to believe, but they eventually become human again. And just about the time they do, they want to move out! It just really isn't fair! :h

Have a great night everyone.

periwinkle

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Good Evening Squadron!

Just got home from my Tuesday night study class and have read through all of your posts. Of course I had many responses in mind - the challenge now is to remember them! First, my dear Deebs - we celebrate Thanksgiving this year on Thursday, Nov. 27. The date changes from year to year - think it was set by Congress as the 4th Thursday in November or some such calculation. It's one of my favorite holidays, because it is all about gratitude. Both of my girls will be home for which I'm very thankful. You are more than welcome to join us. It's the one day out of the year when I actually like my cooking.

Peri, I love that you are seeing/feeling meaning in your work. I'm not a believer in randomness, so I think it was not coincidence that you experienced meaningful things in those homes. They serve as reminders of what's important so that we don't get all tripped up on the trivial.

Start (I believe it was you), attitude is everything. I highly recommend the book I just finished - "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD. She's a neuroanatomist that suffered a stroke at 37 or 38. It took 8 years, but she fully recovered. She shares many of the insights she gained as a result of the experience and has much to say about attitude, our perceptions and holding onto emotions.

Boss, so good to see you posting here. You help all of us re-energize. And that goes for you, too, J-vo. There's no rule that I know of that says we have to be up all the time. It's ok to feel down - just take a long look at it if it lasts for too long a time. At some point, we all get tired of the negative (isn't that what prompted many of us to come here and finally do something about our drinking? weren't we tired of it all?). And Eve, it's always a challenge to find our sanity with children in the house!! That's why there's a special place in heaven for parents - and to those who open their hearts through adoption, well, I bow down before you! Zed, you are an international wonder. How do you manage to experience the world in such a short time? I have you pegged at 35 at most, possibly younger. Then, I could be all wet. It's happened many times before!

To everyone else, enjoy your week. Ask, I've had some of those weird weeks; and yes, they pass. Just keep going back to what works and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. See everyone on Wednesday!

Vera-b

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Modders,
It's my computer guys as the laptop lets me edit. How strange?! Have no idea what's going on with the computer to alter that feature.
Ask-loved what you had to say. I was in AA for 7 years and I know firsthand that the belief is no-one can mod. It wasn't even a concept! So, good point. When people (newbies) come to the mod board wondering if modding is possible it is important for the successful modders to share their success stories.
As a newbie to modding I'm not sure if I can even do it yet - but I'm hoping I can. Have to say that it sure does feel good on those AF mornings so I can understand how some people just decide to go AF after modding. And like someone said it can be a lot of work. But I still like the thought of my fine red wine with a steak or a good sauv. blanc with fish.
Well, night all. Another AF night for me.
Hugs,
Eve11

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

J-vo, I'm pleased you offloaded on us. This thread is not always going to be upbeat -- we are all very serious about addressing our AL issues and they aren't always pretty nor easy. A huge step for me was to feel free to post how I am feeling and not what I think everyone wanted to hear.... I need to stop trying to please everyone lol!

Ask, good job on racking up those AF days -- feels great doesn't it. I have to ask, what is an O'Douls ?
You make a good point about AB's not liking modders or rather the concept of modding. I have never though about it that way -- yes I can see how dangerous it can be to someone who can not and must not even think they can mod.
My thing is that when I joined, my goal was always to mod and I haven't yet (touch wood) slipped back into my old ways so I can't relate to their experiences -- If I kept slipping back to my old ways then yes I would have to definetly re-evaluate my goal.

Vladster, here I was peeved cause I have to choose whether to spend Xmas with my parents who are 30 min away or hubby's parent's who are HOURS away and damn but you have got a lot of driving to do this festive season. I must get my mod goals finalised for the festive season. This will be my first year doing Xmas modding and I don't want to wake up on new years day with a hang over.

Peri, a good cry is soothing for the soul. Sometimes holding it in can cause the problem to escalate to the point where we just BLOW! Good on you for handling it so well.

Vera, I am going to join you in celebrating Thanksgiving this year. I have so much to be thankful for this year and it will be a special dinner to celebrate that. I will google some recipes and see what I can come up with. I started my Xmas baking today and I am having a blast! I have told all our family and friends that we are only buying presents for the kids this year ( and our spouses of course) and instead I am going to bake/cook something special for everyone and wrap it up in handmade boxes. I just feel that every Xmas we over-extend ourselves financially -- myself and hubby don't get Xmas bonus' as we have our own companies -- and really at the end of the day all those "little" somethings add up and do we really NEED that present?!?

Zed aka BB, where art thou??!??! I've been wanting to ask you if you have had any experience with numberology? Can't remember how I got there but I ended up on a very interesting site yesterday and filled in my details to get my numbers and WOW ..... FREAKY stuff I tell you. I nearly burst into tears it was so close to the bone.

Hugs back to you Eve! I too like wine with a good meal. BUT I can also have a great meal with out wine. On our wedding anniversary I was AF for 30 days and didn't want to drink even tho it was a special occassion. Hubby took me to a beautiful (expensive) restaurant for dinner and we had an awesome meal. Later the owner/chef joined us and bought out a bottle of 100 year old port and him and hubby were sniffing and swirling it around... tbh that annoyed me as I could smell it and I love a glass of port after dinner -- so civilised lol.

Sun, that is so great that you own you own home. We are first time home owners, bought our little pandokkie about 3 years ago. The house is minute but the land is enormous so the plan was always to build on. Well we have sumitted plans 3 times now and keep changing our minds lol. The cost of building is really the reason we haven't got cracking on it.

Today I am grateful for my health. I am young and energetic with no ailments worrying me. I am so lucky to have caught the beast before it did irreparable damage to my body. I have all four limbs, sight, smell and hearing... How fortunate I am!

Happy HUMP day everyone!

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

The Lifers

Good evening children.

Well, I have just caught up with the Squad-Action and everyone sounds like they are doing well. J-vo a tough day. We all have them. Today I almost 'blew my top' at a client of mine. That's kind of worse that blowing up at your Principal. This client is a Fortune 500 company and they pay my salary and the salaries of half my agency (I work in advertising - yes someone please shoot me), but I basically almost told this client to f off. Not cool. All day today I've been thinking, "wt heck was I thinking?!" But you know what, it wasn't so bad, and it needed to be done. So things happen. And sometimes we lose it. But what's important is to see that you cried (good: who said tears were bad for the right reasons and on the right occasion?? sounds like someone selling something that no one neds or a politician ) and you went home and you ..... took a nap.... FREAKIN' GREAT. SO proud of you. Talk about breaking with old habits. I mean, we all would have thought, in that situation, ok wtf, I'm going to plough through the liquor cabinet and smoke a pack of anything for old time's sake... but you did not. And that's what's important. Pat yourself on the back if you haven't already... you deserve it! Notch one up for the Squad!

Dear Eve, I don't know so much about computers and technology either really, but listening to your description and your explorations into the matter, and seeing that the Edit thingie's working on your laptop, just not on your computer... well, it is strange especially if it was working before... so the only thing that I can think of is that it could.. just possibly be... the web browser you are using on your computer? Anything changed? What browser do you use? Internet Explorer? I don't know... of what help this is, but see if you are using a different browser (Explorer, Netscape, Mozilla Firefox..) on your laptop than on your comp... although if this is all way too complicated and cumbersome, then forget it. One of the gang mentioned to type your post in Word and edit there, then post... that'll work for sure! Fail-safe.

Deebs - how are you my dear? Sure, come along, I'll send a suitcase down to SA for you to hop in to. Jvo, you're welcome too. It's quite a thing. I'd love to show you guys India, and my home... it's a place for the brave-hearted... and everyone here in MWO and the Squad is that, for sure. We are brave! Cheers to us for that. I'm so damn proud of each of us. It's the most amazing place that I have seen, and I have seen many amazing places in my travels, and not just because it is my homeland.. it just is. It is Ancient. Layered. Wondrous. Magical. Filled with energies, sights, smells, sounds. A place that will make you forget about Heaven and then make you BELIEVE in Heaven... in the same moment. A place in which you cannot take being alive for granted. And that's the best thing I can say about it.

Peri, loved your post about your work and enjoying it also. A lot of us seem to have been inspired by it. Thank you for sharing your day and life with us. To me, it meant a lot, and I hope to hear more. You have a fascinating mind and I love that you are sharing your wonderful, kind self with us.

Vera my dear. International. Yes. I am not many things. But the one thing I can't claim not to be is international. It's just where my life has taken me. I have endless stories about how blessed I am. And about my travels and travails. I should write a book!

Ask and Boss.man, it's great to have you both posting here. Letting us know what's going on in the outside world... in the big, good world of MWO. The ABS folks having a tough time with the Squad - can totally appreciate that. Fully. I have a good ABS friend that I correspond with through PM... she's from Canada.. it's a different battle. We are all battling our drink demons differently. We band together based on our battles. The squadron... the abs folks... the thing with the newbies.. yes... hard to know what to do about them... I often have visited the Just Starting Out? board.. and there all the new folks (I was one not long at all ago) coming in... and my instinct is to want to reach out... but everyone has to make their own way re: how to deal with their abuse. All I can say is that I am glad that Ms Deebs was lurking around the JSO board the night I came in (at the end of my rope, so to speak) and she and a few others including the amazing Gyco, offered a warm word of comfort.. and the Deebs told me about the Mod Squad and the rest is history. Mod was what I was looking for. Like Eve, I too have only just begin here, and the battle in many ways has not even started for me. Got such a long road ahead... 16 years of boozing it up to high heaven (almost literally on numerous occasions..) doesn't go away with 2-3 weeks of relative control. This is a life-long journey that I have just undertaken. We are all 'lifers'.

Cold as frozen dog's meat here in Beijing. The mercury dropped big time. Was cold before, but finally, without any question, winter is here now. Late-Autumn is done. Rode my scooter this morning, without gloves, almost frozen my fingers off. Pulling out the gloves NOW. Another season... another winter in China. I almost died the last one... let's see what this one has to offer. In any case, thanks to the squad and my decision to get my act together (and heating), it's looking a lot more positive.

Ok who have I missed? Vlad, hello there. 46 this month? Hey now... your fine. And tomorrow is a NEW day.

Sun... I was thinking of you, your lovely home... and your garden and the deer that come at dawn... and you putting your nets over the shrubbery. Ahhhh.... what an amazing world this is indeed! Thanks for the imagery!

Vera, yes I am a young'un. Pay no attention to me. Early 30s. But as you can see, I have seen much, and lived much, and loved much, and lost much, and gained much.

I am grateful today for love. For knowing what it means to give love. And to receive it. And to be thankful for it.

Had a glass of wine tonight. Might have one more. But you know what guys, I am doing ok. I am okay. I am okay... thanks to you all for being here for me.

Z

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Hi all, was AF last night, my 2nd day AF this month - I know pretty rubbish. Been craving like crazy since last night. I just physically cannot drink anymore water - arrrrrrrrrrrrgh! It's my own dumb fault.

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Hellooooo Deebs, you can't be doing that. Happy HUMP day... c'mon explain!

You and I always seem to cross our posts... looks like we were typing at the same time. What's up w that?? A bit freaky Have a great rest of day sweets.

Ciao!
z

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Vlad - Sugar water. Squashed tangerines. Marmelade. Juice. Water with cucumbers. Tea. Coffee.

Related to this, another thought that us Modders SHOULD at some point explore/ discuss seriously. (maybe a separate thread? I don't know)

... if we are Modding.. and like Vlad.. there are days on which we must mod and not be AF... then... what is the "best" way to mod... not just volume... but type of AL

for e.g. Vlad... I caught that you are a vodka drinker. So, if you are having a day when you need to have a drink. Or if I am... then... would it make more sense... if your poison is vodka... to drink... a beer... or a glass of wine... instead? Less AL content... so that's a 'start', in a sense, to reducing the effect on your body...

just a thought.

gnite gang.

Vlad - hang in there. You... CAN... do it.

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Hellooooo Deebs, you can't be doing that. Happy HUMP day... c'mon explain! btw, you and I always seem to cross posts... looks like we were typing at the same time. What's up with that?

Numerology - have no experience w that. Sounds fascinating - especially if you feel something authentic about your 'findings'. Let us know what the deal is so we can try.

Have a great rest of day sweets. Big hug.

hello Eve, I have always planned to adopt. I'd like to hear more about your experiences. I think 2010 will be our year (my companion and mine) to adopt. At least to begin the paperwork. Someone asked how old your adopted child is now... 3 at the time... I think we can safely conclude that all kids, no matter what age, 3 or 85, are hard to deal with. Comes with living ;-)

Yes I have family in India. A big family spread across the world. A brother in the States. He's a university professor. He got all the brains. My folks live outside India too. They move around. I have an uncle in Hong Kong, 2 in England (One in London. And Vlad, one's in Lancashire; he's been there since the 1950s! And a bunch of cousins dispersed everywhere, I myself stopped trying to keep up a long time ago). But the bulk of my fam is still in India.

Friends... well... have a few on every continent.

And you all now have a friend... in China!

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Zed - I usually do stick with beer for that reason, but I was given a bottle of vodka.

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Hi everyone!

Vera, I don't beleive in "coincidences" either. I just haven't quite figured out what all that meant yet. I get a lot of dream messages from time to time as well. Usually my dream messages are more clear to me.

DeeBee, O'Douls is a brand of AF beer. You are a true inspiration to me! You tell us about your anniversary when you watch the 100 year old port being swirrled and sniffed and you passed on that! Wow! Then you go into your gratitude for the day being your health when just recently you have told us about your health problems. You inspire me every day. I'm glad you are my friend.

zed, so interesting that almost "blew up" at a client yesterday. I actually lost a very good client yesterday (or should I qulaify that and say a very active client as you will see "good" is a questionable word). I feel a bit more like I can talk about it today. It was too raw yesterday. It was over a property value that I believe to be correct but the property owner believes is too low. Yea, that's what I get to deal with in my business. The client has another appraiser telling him he can get a higher value. So be it then. I cried, I had my tea, I talked to by best friend in the industry who understands the nuances of what we do for a living, and here I am... it's a new day. I have heard people tell me this about this particular person before. He can be the nicest person to talk to. I've worked with hime for years. Then he can just suddenly be done with you, end of discussion. That's how it was, he wanted no discussion from me. Done. My same friend (that I cried with) and I took a feng seui class together a few years ago. I decorated my work office completely with feng seui in mind and followed the concepts throughout my entire house. She called me back later yesterday evening and reminded me to specifically place an item in my both my house and my office in my fame area in the appropriate colors and shapes. So I did. It actually made me feel better. Again, today is a new day. I have other clients and I owe it to them to do a good job for them today. I have lost client before for the same reason. Often when one door closes anothe will open. But I won't lie, it hurts! In the past, I would have been dealing with a hangover the next morning. None of that this morning!

On a much lighter note... I would soooo love to go do yoga with you in India zed. How awesome would that be? I can just picture us sitting in lotus... om... and rising to our feet with the rising sun, giving salutations... I can see the light bursting up from the horizon... I can feel the sun's warmth on my skin... aaahh...

Hi Vlad, ditto on what zed said... I've thought about wine coolers too. They have a much lower AL content. Mix it up. Teas are awesome, I especially like the herb teas. And yes, hang in there. Moderation is yes, not overdoing it. For me that is fewer at a sitting, fewer sittings per week, and checking in with my motives before I drink.

Our weather here has been beautiful the past couple days! Indian Summer as it is called. We've had some 70* to 75* temps past few days! But as they say here, if you don't like the weather, stick around 10 minutes it will change. You just never know we could be below freezing again tomorrow! It's that time of year.



Time to fly!
periwinkle ray:

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

I have just stuffed my face with Haribo, LOL!

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

Mmmmmmmmmmmm...

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 17th Nov

just wanted to pop in and say hi - don't have time to read anyone's posts now, daughter is home sick and now I can't get stuff done, much less hang out online - check back later!
Lila