Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Snow pics for the Mod Squad:









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[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

OH WOW!!!
that looks just awesome!!
Did you build the snowman Vladster? LOVE IT!

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Well, folks. Here I am, and here's the latest:

Renewal, welcome. I am in a similar situation as you, in that I too live alone. Yes, it can be hard-going when it comes to Moderation. Boy do I know... You have to fight your own demons or live with them, and either way, it's just you who has to deal with the consequences. I guess I'd also suggest what Vlad pointed to: that you have to set up some Rules/ Goals. That's the way. You should try to come up with a (working) list. Doesn't have to be fancy. You know your lifestyle, your demons and your strengths best. So play your strengths off against your demons and weaknesses... What do YOU need to do? Remember: BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY. Cheers buddy.

So friends. What to say, it's been a bit of a tough week. I too fell off the track. Sat night was the dinner party.. which was moderate. Sun night was a bottle of wine. Last night (Mon) was dinner with my boss, this gent from London, who drinks like a fish himself. We went for curry. Very nice Indian restaurant! He paid. He ordered a bottle of Pinot Noir, followed by a second.. and then a third. There were 3 of us. After dinner my colleague and I went on to another bar (for a chat), and I had a few (quite a few) more beers. Plus a tequila shot. Decided last night itself to take today off from work. Which was a bad idea, since it led me down the path of excess... This morning I moderately suffered for my sins. Spent all day generally being a waste of space, drinking water and coffee and tea, waiting for my brain to come back to life.

Dear Sunbeam, you sound really good! You too Peri dear! So happy to hear it. Also you Vera, my dear...

Sun, it seems that you have conquered your AL demons for the time-being and WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU as we watch you on the top of Mount Everest, waving the Flag of Sunbeam... you deserve these moments of clarity and adulation, since it is only through YOUR OWN strengths and determination that you have gotten to the good and healthy place that you are now at.

You serve as a true inspiration for the rest of us. RESPECT!

That is not to say, of course, that there are others among us who are not faring as well as Sunbeam has been. We're all fighting the battle daily (just as Sun is) and some days are better than others, right? Lila you sound a lot better too in terms of AL Modding, although you are fighting SAD, so your battle continues... And we know that all our battles are inter-linked. So we must remain wary and cautious and remain on guard of falling back to old comforts and routines.

Deebs you too sound really good. Healthy. Good on you! You sent hubby to bed. Nice one.

So yes, some of us are struggling a bit more, but we have just come through a difficult week... Thanksgiving week... plus a weekend... and in my case, just being stupid on Sunday night, which destroyed my holy rule of NO two nights of consecutive drinking.

Anyhow Sunday wasn't even about Moderation, and neither was last night. I just let myself go, and I got stupid and careless and lazy. Simple as that. I enjoyed the binge, and perhaps with all that's been going on, I needed the release - the 'escape' - but I chose the easy way to escape... sticking my head right down a bottle.

The thing with drinking I've realized, is not only does one drink, but as a consequence one doesn't do so many other healthy things. Exercise really cuts into drinking time. So does cooking. Or meeting people. And reading a book isn't even possible after a few. So not only are we killing our brain-cells by the drink, but we're actively getting less healthy AND stupider (by not reading and thinking less) at the same time. Brilliant.

Peri, my new avatar is....... OM! Calligraphy (no, not my own). I'm sure you can see the resemblance right? Except that the downward rightward curve is missing from mine. The character in mine is the sound "Om" in Hindi (the Devanagiri script). In Sanskrit, the parent language from which modern Hindi (the Devanagiri script) is an 'off-shoot', there is the extra curve and dot. With Hindi it's not required, but the sound is the same.

Just got a text message from a friend... my Serbian friend Ivana. Tonight is her last night in Beijing; she is headed back to Belgrade tomorrow. Moving back. She is at the bar next to my apartment building... and wants me to come over for a good bye drink.

Jeez. I am going to order an AF drink. Ice lemon something. Enough is enough. I need to live with myself, and I am kind of sick of the way I've been acting the last few days. So for the sake of my own fricking dignity...

Lots more to write about, catch up on. Soon.

Bye guys.

[Delta Moon]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Good Morning, my friends!
Oh vlad, it looks frightfully cold there! The snowman made me smile. I used to live in Paris and experienced snow there but I never get to see it now. Stay warm and tell the boss you need a mini heater at your desk!
Thanksgiving was a beautiful day filled with family and great food. I knocked myself out but it was worth it. Our oldest daughter was home from college and it really pushed my triggers to have her home again. She and I are really strong and butt heads quite often. I was able to keep to my goals and had two wines on the big day and a couple over the weekend. Yikes, and it was a long weekend too! The old me would have been drinking a bottle+ a day. I love to say " the old me". She is gone and I don't miss her one bit! That doesn't mean I won't slip now and again but that daily drink fest boozie girl is gone. Au Revoir!
I did not make my goal of staying AF for the month but when I look at the drink tracker and realize I was drinking 100+ drinks a month and am down to 18 for Nov. - I have to be triumphant! I am determined to stay positive although I live with Mr. Negative. Oh well- can't change him, only God can do that.
gettingbetter- have you tried the cds? They really helped me break the old habits in the beginning. Don't be so hard on yourself. Move through it and learn. Learn and love yourself.

DeeBee I can relate to the heat as I live in the desert now and have just come thru our summer-it got to 116 this year. Can you cool off in a pool? Lots of iced tea and lemonade, girlfriend!

vera-b, you sound good. Nice to get the Christmas up, isn't it? I'm working on that this week myself.

Sunbeam- you are not out of place here. We love you and need your support. You are successful and have much to offer all of us.
Bonjour to everyone else out there, moddies and lurkers and a special hello to renewal. Stick around-BB(zed) needs a buddy.
Hugs- your St. J

[Delta Moon]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Lila- do you exercize? It may really help you shake the winter blues. Cardio gets the endorphins going and can really shake the depression away. I've been down that road and exercise REALLY helps.
Hugs to you.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

thanks St John, no I don't...I know, I know...
About snow, I am no stranger to it, that's for sure. Lovely pix!

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Hi everyone,
Hubby made me a hot toddy last night for my cold. I had to ask him later how much AL he put in it. I expected mostly lemon and honey. I actually got buzzed from it! Didn't finish it! I can't tell you if it's the meds, the cd's or what. But I honestly don't want to drink that much.

GB if you have listened to the clearing cd, and the and don't have time every day to listen to the 20 minute or 45 minute cd, you can put the subliminal cd in and listen while you are doing other things (but not like driving!). I find that I have no excuse to not find time for at least this cd during the course of the day. But I think you need to at least should try to make time for you a few times a week to listen to the cd's in a closed room with the headphones and a Do Not Disturb sign on the door. I went to Al-Anon many years ago (spouse and family members program for alcohoics). I had my 2 little boys and the 3rd big boy, their father who had a very serious AL and drug problem. My Al-anon sponser was really big on telling me to "do something good for yourself". I had to train myself to put that in my vocabulary as I was always taking care of someone else. I couldn't trust the little ones alone with their dad even for a short period of time. And by the time they were 2 and 4 he was out of their lives forever anyway and I had full responsibility of them 24/7. But those words continued to resonate with me, "do something good for yourself". Right now, the most important thing in the lives of your young boys is for their mom to get a handle on her health issue. Please find time to take care of you. If you need to cut some things you do for others out for now, please do that. You are worth it! Your boys are worth it. Your marriage is worth it. Hang in there, I think you are close to success. Maybe you just need to start back at square one. Can I say it? OK, pick yourself up by the bra straps We're here for you! I'm so glad you shared with us here.

zed;483400 wrote:

Peri, my new avatar is....... OM! Calligraphy (no, not my own). I'm sure you can see the resemblance right? Accept that the downward rightward curve is missing. The character in mine is the sound "Om" in Hindi. In Sanskrit, the parent language from which modern Hindi is an off-shoot, has the extra curve. With Hindi it's not required and the sound is the same.

Zed, I did see the resemblance. I also noticed the missing curve. That's why I had to ask. Very nice! I like it, it is beautiful! And for you too, don't spend another minute beating up on yourself. You have had a lot going on emotionally with your homeland. Breathe. Be present.

St John, It sounds like you are doing well. Your daughter and my SD and butting heads is something we definately have in common. Love her to the ends of the earth, but we can really push each other's buttons at times. I love that you are satisfied with your AL consumption and recognize that it is good progress from where you were.

Sun, I think what I was trying to say before is that we all have different goals. I recognize that your goals are different than mine. You are doing great. It seems like you have really embraced where you are at with your AL consumption (or lack of) and I admire you for that. I enjoy your words of wisdom on this thread.

DeeBee, you need to cool off girlfriend! :rays: It's been cold and windy here. Some snow mixed in, but it generally melts off the next day. That is something people don't usually comprehend about this area. The snow we get (not in the mountains) doesn't stay around. It snows a few inches one day and is gone the next day. Anyway, DB, how was your turkey day SA style? You didn't have ostrich by mistake did you?

Vlad, Lilac, renewal (did I miss anyone?) I love you all and need all of you in this journey.

Stay strong everyone,
periwinkle :bigwink:

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Hi Folks,
I'm a bit hung over today, and of course I regret it horribly. I didn't ever want to have this feeling again. Before this I told myself that if I ever did, I'd comit to abstinence instead of moderation...I guess I'm copping out of that, saying "one more try." It seemed to be working well, until I had three drinks last night. Three sounds moderate, I know, but they were strong ones. I didn't sleep well and had to face a big gathering of other moms at my house this morning, for a pre-holiday swap party. Stress over anticipating that was definitely a trigger. Now it's done, and I'm going to rest for a bit, then get the kids and later go to work for the evening. I need to feel myself recovering...From last night, and from this whole habit.

Yes, Peri, I will listen to the cds. Great thing to do just now...Thanks. Your advice is so sound...Just what I needed to hear. I will take care of myself.

My husband goes away in a few days, and I have mom and sister, plus nieces coming over the weekend. I love seeing my sister and her girls...I think I am safe to drink two glasses of wine on Friday and two on Saturday. Then I'm going to do two weeks AF, while my husband is away.

Off to listen to those CDs while I have the house to myself.

[JAMMS]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Can I be part of the mod-squad?

Hi squad-

I don't know if all of you have heard from me, I am from the just starting forum. Kinda new to MWO.

I have sworn off vodka because that is what I binge on. I'm interested in mod-ing once a week or once every two weeks. As oppsed to binging 2/3 nights a week with a person who is a terrible influence on me.

I had a few beers on Thankgiving and do not plan to drink again until x-mas.

I happen to like the tast of beer and wine but, the buzz (high) is always better.

Any suggestions?
:thanks:

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Lovelies. I'm back.

So I got to the bar. 4 people there.. 1 Malaysian, 1 Serbian, 1 Filipino and 1 Italian! Yes, this is an international life I am living. Indeed.

Anyway, so by the time I got there, there were already very happy. Before I could say anything there was a Mojito in front of me. That became a 2nd. Then, the Filipino goes up to the singer (it's kind of a lounge bar) and tells her that our Serbian friend is leaving tomorrow. So there is a song, and soon after, 8 shots of tequila come over to our table (free of cost), since our friend is leaving, as a good bye from the bar..! (It's a classy sort of bar!). The Malaysian cannot drink any more, so the 8 shots are spread out between the 3 of us. I do 3. Very good tequila, I must say. Smooth as silk. Anyway, so that's that.

We have a laugh and I manage to get home not long ago. It's late, there goes that whole plan to have had a AF evening, and drink at the bar.. oh well. This is what it is.

I am fine.

Goodnight. Tomorrow is a new day. I will be AF and hit the gym for a light workout. It's either that... or... I'm sunk. And I will not be sunk. Which means that I have to make this work.

Thanks you all for the support. Peri, you are wonderful. I love you.

I love you all in fact (and it's not the alcohol talking ha ha)

JAMMS... welcome. This is an open group. You are more than welcome to join us, to learn from us... to teach us.

Good night all. Have a client meeting at 9am. woopsie.

chat soon.

[Delta Moon]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Welcome Jamms!

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Hi everyone,
Peri,
I owe you the biggest apology for my post yesterday. I never intended to include you in my statement regarding people struggling, but that's the way it came across. We are our words here in cyberspace. There are many misunderstandings at MWO because the wrong words were used.

I also feel I owe everyone here an apology, because it was my judgement that people were struggling as they drank more than they intended. In fact at least some of you made conscious decisions to loosen up those rules. But thanks for the many kind words, I think you still love and forgive me. There is a very fine line between what we value most, and respecting different values in others.

When I quit drinking last January, I made a long list of things I hate about drinking to excess. Now, I don't fear going back where I was, but I do fear getting back those horrible cravings. I had them from April - August when I tried to drink more frequently, including every weekend. I haven't had any significant cravings since early September, and I don't want to change that. They could come - I have read stories here from people who have been AF a long time, who experience a sudden craving. But good riddance to bad rubbish for me. I do not want to be drinking when I have so many better things to do.

I know a family of five kids, four boys and a girl. The girl once said, "Reading is my refuge". That's me. During the years I was drinking I read magazines, but rarely books. Even after a couple of glasses of wine, it was too much effort to concentrate and follow the story. So as much as I used to seek refuge in that alcohol-laden blissful state, I now engross myself in books.

JAAMS, welcome. You will fit in here just fine. It sounds like you are ready to do a long AF break, but know that the holidays would lower your chances for success.

St. Johns, you sound great. I too love the new me way better than the old one.

Zed, I have a question about India: when did Bombay change to Mumbai? When the news reports started coming in, I thought they were talking about someplace in Africa.

Deebs, stay cool. Vlad, I am sorry you are still cold and that seems to be a given. The snow on my landscape looks pretty much like yours.

Take care, all.

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Evening all,

Well, I started to post earlier, but my son was having homework troubles so I stopped. He said to me, "Mom, you're always on the computer." I think he's right in a way. Every night when I sit down to read all the posts from the last time I typed, it takes awhile because I take a few notes on what each of you said so I can reply correctly, then I type my reply! Ok. You all know how OCD I am - well, just another example. I do get carried away, and I'll sit and read and read. My husband knows that this is a part of my necessary recovery, but I think I need to stay away from the computer a little more.

So, how ironic is it that I started this week's thread and now I won't be back for a little while. I didn't want you to think I was dead or anything, or drunk every night because I won't be posting all the time! Also, I didn't want you to think I didn't care about everyone and how everyone continues to make their lives better without AL. I'm going to continue to do that and I know you will too. I hope I'm not offending anyone - just my paranoia I'm sure, but I do care. I've got to manage my time a little better, though, and it took my son telling me I wasn't giving him enough time (in his own words).

Take care friends.
j-vo

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Happy Tuesday el modderistas,

J-Vo, I totally hear you. For a good part of this past summer and early fall, I was spending hours here, jumping from one forum to the next trying to weigh in on weighty matters and throw out the welcome mat to all the newbies. Well, that was helpful in that it discouraged my drinking, but it also kept me from doing some of the living my sobriety had ushered in. So, most days I'm just here on the long term mod thread checking in with all of you. I know there's a whole MWO world out there, but there are only so many hours in the day . . .

Spent hours cleaning up the house today. Part of the after-Thanksgiving cleansing! Walking very briskly these mornings - it's starting to get cold. But, Vlad, no snow just yet (and I hope for a while longer - am no fan of the white stuff). Deebers, hope you cool off. When my fingers and toes go numb with the cold, can I come over? Hi's to Lila, Peri, our new friend Jamms, Zed (an international social life - wow), Sun, St. John, GB and everyone else. It's a work day tomorrow - heading into the busiest season of the year!

Vera-b

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread December 1st

Hello my friends and welcome to our two newbies.
Just a quick message to say we're having a wonderful time in Bali and have met most of the people from the book Eat, Love, Pray...Wayan the healer and Katut the medicine man.

We are having a fabulous time.

We're doing a very ritzy dinner tonight at the hotel. A 7 course dinner paired with wine which means...gulp...5 glasses? I'm thinking they're probably very little glasses as I don't think most people (esp. controlled drinkers - not those like us fighting the battle) can handle 5! We'll see how it goes.

Hugs to all. Just haven't had a chance to read all of the posts but trust you're all doing well. The vacation drinking has been daily but very controlled, no hangovers. Good advice from some of the group but those free sauv. blancs are just a little too tastey.

Gotta get ready for the big dinner. Cheers. Or "no worries"as my new Aussie friend would say.
Eve11