thoughts of going out to the local or the liquor store were buzzing in my head, but I actually felt way too lazy to get a coat and shoes on step outside in the cold.
I just got up made some tea and started to think, "why was that so easy, and other times it's absolute torture".
Early October for instance, I was wanting nothing but to get a couple of bottles and go home and invite my boyfriend over, I had to fight it like crazy, I took kudzu, drank water, I called my invisible booze beatin' angel to no avail. I ended up drinking about 4 glasses of wine.
Then I started to notice that if I pay attention, the whole thing is like a cycle, like the seasons.
you just have to be a bit ready for it, but at the same time it's not easy to predict.
At thanksgiving I could just look at the wine and have the same reaction as I did with bread or nuts or whatever was sitting on the table.
We can't neglect the triggers, but if I have a bad day at work and pass by the bar at one of my low craving moments, my logic is like "hey that is such a lame idea, to pay all that cash to get a headache and smell like hell the next day".
And other times it's like the thoughts are not there and I find myself at the bar going, "damn I really need this drink".
It's like waves I think, they come and go. like watching the tides.
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