Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hi everyone,

WALT! OMG, I am so glad to hear from you! Congrats on AF since Halloween, that's awesome!



Kid, I love coffee too :cupajoe: and have cut back quite a bit from where I used to be. I like herbal tea in the afternoon. I may be odd but I CAN taste a difference in the decaf coffee. I call it the anti-coffee. :H I love chocolate too. And I'm totally stoked on these little emoticons! What can I say, I'm hooked. :huh:

I'm off to vacuum before the grand kids get here, don't want the 2-year old eating any dust bunnies!

periwinkle

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hi everyone,
I haven't been here, but I thank you all for asking about me. Brings tears to my eyes to see such caring people. I think about you all and pray everyday for my modder friends.

I've not been doing too well. Besides my Seasonal Affective Disorder getting me pretty damn good, my anxiety has risen along with it. It's an extremely difficult time of year for me and yet, I know I should be happy. I haven't seen the sun for awhile, don't know if that's the problem. I have increased my consumption of AL, yet not dangerously and not to the point where I was before. I just have so much depression and anxiety that I can't seem to get things done properly. I'm on anti-depressants although they don't seem to help me right now. What really bothers me is my inability to function as I have been. With my family and my job. I know I could handle situations at work so much better and be happier for my husband and my son. gosh. It's hard. Sorry for such a freaking depressing post. That's why I couldn't come on. I didn't want to break the positive vibes that I get from you all, and didn't want to cry like a baby. Zed - I'm glad you're back from your vaca. and doing well. Eve - I don't know if we've heard from you. Vera - to us! I love my bags. Peri, Vlad (I love seeing bands) Lila, Starting, and crap (I don't want to leave anyone out) please forgive me if I do. Talk to you all soon. God Bless.

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hi Everyone,
Kid, I started drinking a cup of coffee, more than a year ago when I got home from work, instead of wine. It gave me energy, instead of taking it away - a good trade. But lately I have had some difficulty falling asleep. Now I have tea or sparkling water when I get home.

Eve, I've read Eat Pray Love and enjoyed it very much. I especially enjoyed the part in Italy because I thought the author did an amazing job of describing her emotions. The end was fun, although a little too much like a fairy tale. Anyway, I envy you for going there. It also sounds like you are happy with what you are doing with mods, always ready to re-evaluate.

Deebs, I got the letters wrong. Community Supportied Agriculture is what it's called. Here's a link Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) - LocalHarvest
Maybe you already know this, but just in case...
If you have any Borax, you can mix it with powdered sugar to kill ants. They get it on their feet and track it into their nests and they're dusted - literally goners. I don't use chemicals to fertilize in my garden - compost is much better, but chemicals are much more effective in fighting bugs, and not necessarily more harmful to the environment. There are many natural substances that are quite toxic.

Peri, I enjoy your posts, just often don't have any comments. All the stories about the kids, including how yours were brought up, are heart warming. We have no children and no regrets - it just never happened for us.

Zed, are you familiar with Greg Mortenson's work in Pakistan, as told in Three Cups of Tea? Wow, what an amazing accomplishment, building 55 schools. I'm about 2/3 through the book.

St. John, your plan sounds great. Glad you are back up and with us.

Jamms, an AF weekend is a great idea, a much more challenging goal than AF during the work week. Structuring my free time without alcohol has been much more difficult than not drinking on a week night. The evenings always seem short, but whole days can seem very long if you are constantly thinking about alcohol.

Take care, all.

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

J-vo, we crossed posts. I wish you well, you are in my heart.

[gyco]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

hi modders hope all is well,by what i read its not for some,vladster,yours struck me the most,modding is NOT TO MUCH,a lot of yur threads have helped me since i came here,my sons girlfreind,lover what ever you call it these days found she had the same problem ,she cant drink hard stuf,she drinks a bit of red wine and somtimes still drinks to much,somtimes u have to set a limit,2 drinks, thts what ive found and yes its hard or just STOP,lets face it you like me ,WERE our own worse enemies,ah,dear, i lke this, or id like tht,vlad when you apply yurself,and this goes for the rest of you so called modders tht like to beat yurselves up,remember what it feels like the next day,that is what modding is to not have to much,gyco

[ducky]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Kid, I actually bought boots for my dog but he has such narrow hound feet they would not stay on. I think they are a great idea to keep snow and salt out of the pads if the doggie will wear them!

Hi j-vo. Please don't feel you cannot come and post when you are down. The group is here for good vibes and bad. It sounds like you are struggling so feel free to vent away. And don't think everyone is doing perfectly here. I was AF last night but overall still feel I need to cut my drinking down. I also read posts and feel others are far ahead of me, but know they inspire me to keep pushing myself. Hope you are feeling better soon.:h

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hey Modders,
Again, I'm a bit overwhelmed by the number of posts since I checked in earlier today. I'm just going to make one big, blanket apology for not always addressing everyone individually. With three kids, I usually don't have more than a few minutes to check in, and yet I want to. So, I will send some collective good wishes to all and comment on the things that for one reason or another have stuck in my busy brain.

Okay, so, Usernames...Can't remember who was pondering them. When I signed up at SMART, I was a little buzzed and very stressed out, and I called myself "stressedmom". Always regretted it, because there's so much more to me than that....But I was stuck with it. So I started signing off as Sara. It's not my real name. It's one of the names I like best. It feels like it shouldbe my name. It's what I would have named a daughter, had I had one. After signing off my posts as Sara so many times, it started to feel almost like my name. I'd type e-mails to friends and family and catch myself starting to type "Sara". Weird. Every now and then when I was feeling cheerful, or sometimes when I was feeling in need of cheering up, I found myself humming a Hall and Oats song, "Sara Smile":

"And if you want to be free, all you have to do is say so
When you feel cold, I'll warm you
And when you feel you can't go on, I'll come and hold you
It's you...and me forever
Sara smile
Won't you smile a while for me...

Then I came here. I felt in a hurry to sign up, I was so excited to see that I had another alternative to SMART. I quickly, and without thinking much, called myself "Gettingbetter". Always liked the Beetles' song, and felt it was true...But really just dashed it off. Then the other day I left the computer without logging out and someone at work teasingly and not very nicely said, "Hi, 'Gettingbetter'". Made me feel violated. So I gave it a little thought, hummed, Sara Smile to myself and PM'd Roberta Jewell, who was nice enough to let me change my username. I like the idea of Sara's miles, Peri...But I hadn't thought of it before.

So, there you have it. Also wanted to send extra TLC to j-vo. I know depression and anxiety well. I am almost always looking over my shoulder for them. Prozac helps me, as does abstinence/moderate drinking. But I still wake up every morning and think "am I okay today?" Stay in touch. Peri, sorry you're a bit down, too...At least we are not alone.
Take good care all. Sara

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

We are Legion..

Well...almost.
Sara (or whatever your name is ),
There ARE alot of us here; and that's a good thing and it's OK if you don't address every single one of us individually. I'm probably the only one whose feelings are hurt...:boohookidding)
So here's whatcha do...read all the posts, see if anyone is talking to you and answer those first. Then see if anyone has a problem, needs something addressed or needs a hug :l ;answer those second. Then say "Hi, everbody else" to everybody else. OK?
That's my advice for the evening..:H
Sleep tight, this side of the world..
Have a great day on the other!
"Hi" everybody else!
~Kid~

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Thanks, Kid; don't know what I'd do without you...

And HI everyone else.

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

ducky - is your avatar a pic of a miniature dauchshund a.k.a. wiener dog? If so, do you have one?
I do and his name is Leo - he's my second child. Love him to bits. And I do no wrong in his eyes!

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

hi all
just drinking my coffee and catching up on things...j-vo, don't worry about posting. i was in a strange mood and posted a bunch but Ididn't bother anyone and I felt a lot lighter later on.
Lila

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Okay squad, so here's my theory on us taking turns in being in a funk.... we can't always be in a perpetual state of happiness, can we now. We have our past to address and sometimes the feelings hit us like a 10 ton truck... chill, sit back and give yourself time out to acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to be down, grumpy, confused or what ever you are feeling cause only after the issue has been addressed can we achieve a higher state of joy.

You are probably all wondering what on earth has got into me .... well this morning whilst cleaning out old e-mails I came across one from my hubby to me a year ago. It was after a particualy rough night and was a make or break for us. Reading the mail again was distressing to say the least -- I was bawling my eyes out in the office this morning trying to deal with the pain and anguish I had put my dear man thru.
I hummed and aahed all day about sharing this with you, but I would like to for the simple reason that this is who I am NOT anymore....

This is what my darling man wrote.

"The single biggest cause of my emotional destruction is something that we?ve covered on more than one occasion and that is your drinking.
It?s not the drinking that is the problem it?s the fact that you won?t recognize that you have a problem and that when you drink you loose all self control. When you get pissed you loose all inhibitions completely.
This is why I get so mad when you go out by yourself or without me because I know absolutely anything can happen. You know I always knew that there was a problem but the day you snuck wine into the toilet so I didn?t know was the straw that broke the camel?s back. If you can?t see that then you are in some serious denial. I?m not telling you to stop drinking or having fun because that is the last thing I want? I really love the way we have so much fun but I don?t want the price to be so high. I?m not asking you to stop but I?m asking you to recognize the problem and take steps to get it under control. If you have no means of getting it under control then yes to stop will be the only alternative.

You say you don?t have a solution? that?s not an option!"

When I first read this I was so MAD with him for not giving me a solution or helping me find my way out -- I realise now that he was being cruel to be kind! I would never have got here if hubby held my hand... he was right, I had to do this for me.

A year later, I am grateful that he had the fore-sight to push me, threaten me and demand that I get my sh*t together.

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Okay squad, so here's my theory on us taking turns in being in a funk.... we can't always be in a perpetual state of happiness, can we now. We have our past to deal with and sometimes the feelings hit us like a 10 ton truck... chill, sit back and give yourself time out to acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to be down, grumpy, confused or what ever you are feeling cause only after the issue has been addressed can we achieve a higher state of joy.

You are probably all wondering what on earth has got into me .... well this morning whilst cleaning out old e-mails I came across one from my hubby to me a year ago. It was after a particualy rough night and was a make or break for us. Reading the mail again was distressing to say the least -- I was bawling my eyes out in the office this morning trying to deal with the pain and anguish I had put my dear man thru.
I hummed and aahed all day about sharing this with you, but I would like to for the simple reason that this is who I am NOT anymore....

This is what my darling man wrote.

"The single biggest cause of my emotional destruction is something that we?ve covered on more than one occasion and that is your drinking.
It?s not the drinking that is the problem it?s the fact that you won?t recognize that you have a problem and that when you drink you loose all self control. When you get pissed you loose all inhibitions completely.
This is why I get so mad when you go out by yourself or without me because I know absolutely anything can happen. You know I always knew that there was a problem but the day you snuck wine into the toilet so I didn?t know was the straw that broke the camel?s back.
If you can?t see that then you are in some serious denial. I?m not telling you to stop drinking or having fun because that is the last thing I want? I really love the way we have so much fun but I don?t want the price to be so high. I?m not asking you to stop but I?m asking you to recognize the problem and take steps to get it under control. If you have no means of getting it under control then yes to stop will be the only alternative.

You say you don?t have a solution? that?s not an option!"

When I first read this I was so MAD with him for not giving me a solution or helping me find my way out -- I realise now that he was being cruel to be kind! I would never have got here if hubby held my hand... he was right, I had to do this for me.

A year later, I am grateful that he had the fore-sight to push me, threaten me and demand that I get my sh*t together.

[ducky]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

wow deebee, thanks for sharing that email. my dh has spoken to me on the subject many times and i know he gets frustrated with me. i have not gotten out of hand in the sense of overdoing it in public since the summer, and i know it is a relief to him. not that i still don't have a ways to go to meet my own goals.

hi lila!
j-vo, yes that was my doxie, Hans. We lost him almost 2 years ago and it still makes me incredibly sad to think about him. he was almost 12 when we rescued him and had just one giant tooth on the bottom. we ended up having to remove that so the tongue hanging out issue became worse. it did not stop him from being a voracious eater though! we now have a 2 year old long hair, Ollie. I love doxies!!!

Hope everyone is well today.

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Thanks DeeBee...

DeeBee,
Thanks for sharing your letter. It wrenches one's heart and guts, stirring up the feeling that comes at that "moment of truth". We know we are losing control, objectively realizing that there's no other way out, something MUST be done. Yet we are still reluctant to do what we have to do...STOP and STOP NOW!!
Thanks again, it reinstilled a therapeutic fear!!
~Kid~