Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

If I weren't so lazy...

I would write a new post!
(This is the third time I've used this intro on the threads, but I want to introduce myself before I just butt in and start offering my 2 cents sometime soon)
Hi everyone,
Here's another alcoholic's "Here's my Story". I would apologize, but looking around the site there's not much to read today anyway, so here's a little more paper for the fire!
I just came here from SMART, where I was a member from early 2007 until last week. Now SMART is not a BAD place, but it's getting a little inbred and their choice of director and moderators reminded me of something you may know already: becoming abstinent won't necessarily make a person more intelligent, nor will it necessarily cure their personality disorder!
And what really set them off was me trying to start a "Moderation Joural" on their threads. Don't try that there unless you like red faces screaming and spitting in your direction. So I followed a friend over to MWO and I'm hoping for a good fit. I'm a lifetime moderator who accepts the fact that he is an alcoholic ;and if there's to be drink, there must also be vigilance. It's going very well. I'm happy; my family is happy; the corner beverage store's cash register is happy. We are all happy that I don't get drunk anymore. I'm happy that I still get to have a drink. Did you catch that? "A" drink....
Before becoming determined to moderate I was AF for about a year. I was not happy. If a person can be AF and be happy, I believe that is the way to go. Alcohol is not good for us and for an addict that hasn't pretty well mastered moderation, it is like playing Russian Roulette. But I was really unhappy, not depressed, just not happy being AF. So here I am, "happier",at least...
So, my handle here is "Kid Shelleen".If you know who the KId is, you are probably about my age! I look forward to utililizing this wonderful site and getting to know the wonderful members.
~Kid~

[ducky]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Welcome Kid!

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hi all,
I'm still feeling SO good about all the Christmas jobs I got done over the weekend. Soon I will just be able to relax and enjoy the season: try out a new cookine recipe, make some ornaments. You would not believe the beautiful flowers I make from old TOILET PAPER ROLLS! They are so beautiful on my tree and hanging by gold cord from my window latches. Using scissors I cut thin slices from flattened cardboard tubes, to make petals. Glue the sides of 5 together toward the middle with Elmer's Glue All, and you have a flower. You have to try this to believe it.

Anyway, Vlad's story today made me wonder what is more complex: our relationship with our spouses, or our relationship with alcohol? Then you mix those things together, and YOWSER (as Zed would say). I've mentioned that my hubby "The Chef" has probably a couple of servings of wine daily. We don't talk about my drinking - he calls it "my problem", and he is right. There is always wine in the house, but he keeps it in the basement refrigerator, where at least I don't have to look at it every time I get a cold beverage. If I ask him to bring up some wine to have with dinner, he never argues, but he never offers to do that, since I went AF nearly a year ago. I think he would rather I didn't drink, even though I am doing well. He just doesn't want the old me back, and I can't blame him. So maybe when he brings up a bottle of wine, it is something like Vlad's husband buying that vodka. Still, my husband only brings up one bottle... I just shouldn't judge. But Vlad, you really should try dumping out some vodka sometime. It is a wonderfully liberating feeling, winning a battle.

Welcome, Kid. We would welcome your responses to some of the threads we have going here. These days I call myself an occasional drinker, or a normal drinker. I don't drink most days, not every weeekend. I'm on the less alcohol end of the continuum of moderate drinkers.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Yes, Welcome Kid!!!:welcome: I'm so glad you're here.

I have been flat out busy for the last couple of days, with work, and with my husband away. He left for Singapore on Saturday. It seems as though every time I sit down to check in, one of my boys comes looking for me. Two of them are great readers (the third is only 5) and they look over my shoulder to see what I'm writing. They're especially intrigued with the icons, actually.

Anyway, I've finally had a few minutes to get somewhat caught up. Vlad, I know how it is to have a husband who, at times, seems to support my drinking. I've said to my hubby, "I had three drinks tonight" and heard him say "good for you". He likes to order me a second drink in a restaurant, and he's been known to say, "I like you when you're lit". He's definitely become more sensitive to the issue since I've started to talk about my concerns, but I know it would be hard for him if I quit altogether. When I told him, after a period of uncertainty, "I'm going to try moderating instead of abstaining", he said "Oh good...I want you to be able to have a glass of wine when we go out to dinner." Truth be told, I have always been grateful for his enabling style...I'd probably freak out completely if he ever told me I needed to stop drinking.

Peri, I loved your words about your devotion to your kids. It sure is a powerful feeling.

So, I had said I'd be AF while hubby was away, but tonight I had two glasses of red wine while decorating the Christmas tree with the kids. I started thinking, "Why should I abstain while he's away? It's hard enough to be alone with three kids!" This was my first time ever getting a Christmas tree up and putting on the lights alone...Not as hard as he always made it look, but still...

I need to put some thought into a plan for the rest of his time away. Parenting stress, as some of you know, has been my biggest trigger, at least for the last few years. Part of me is saying, "just stick to two" and part of me says, "Go without...it's a good time to stay in practice." I'd like to be able to check in here honestly, either way.

Well, the kids seem to have been reduced to bringing me notes saying "I love you, Mom" to try and get my attention. I must sign off. Maybe I'll check in after I get them to bed. Thanks for listening. Sara.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

hi Kid
Welcome! I'm sorry - who is the Kid?? Hey, I am not so old, I still get carded, most of the time, anyways!
Lila

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Happy Monday fellow Squadron,

Boy, am I behind. Had an extremely busy weekend getting Christmas things done, then spent Sunday in Boston. We picked up my daughter from her apartment, had dinner out, then went to see Boston Ballet's Nutcracker. She used to be a serious ballet student, and she studied with a couple "kids" - now company members (one's a soloist, the other is in the corps) at Boston Ballet. It was a pretty good performance - not quite as sharp as last year. Probably due to economic necessity, there were more solo roles danced by corps dancers versus soloists and principals. Good, just not as strong. Sets were awesome and the little kids from the BB school who dance are always adorable.

Ok, ladies, you've got me. Sun, you're right. I love Vera Bradley bags - carry the tote to work (Cambridge pattern) and both my purse and computer case are in the newer Cafe Latte pattern. When I was trying to think of a MWO name, I looked around the room, saw my computer case and the rest is vera history. They are extremely well made, so last a very long time. When they get a little dingy, I just pop them into the washer. Brother, I could be in the marketing department!!

Ducky, Peri and Lila, I so enjoyed reading of your posts on last week's thread. They were some of the most honest I've read on this site. I've always thought that we had a lot to learn from each other aside from our AL use. Dealing with children without a support system, not having children, etc. are such personal challenges. We all have them - just share the common ground that AL was somehow in the middle of it all. To each of you, I salute the efforts you have made on behalf of your families even when there was some personal pain in the middle of it. You've contributed more to a civilized, loving society than you can probably imagine. I'm so happy you landed on this thread.

Speaking of threads, sorry to hear about WIP. Yes, she was direct; but I respected her knowledge, her honesty, and the determined way she walked the walk. She was truly trying to help others, and I believe she accomplished that many, many times. Welcome Kid - is SMART and abstinence-only group? And J-vo, kudos of the week for even attempting to teach MIDDLE SCHOOL!!! My sister has been an elementary teaching for nearly 30 years in systems where there is often poor support by the families. I think we expect too much of our educators - they can't be family and community and educator all in one school day. Just carry your Vera Bradley bag high - just shows your class.

Vlad, hope the vodka bottle is in the recycling bin by now. That was my poison, and I can't let it back in my life for anything. It's like the bad boyfriend - so tempting but so bad for you (I use this analogy from a distant memory, of course, having been so happily married so many years . . .). And Miss Deebs, I love your life goals. It sure sounds to me like you're putting them into practice rather than waiting until 2009. My youngest is also ADD, but I don't believe she's an indigo child. The medication she's on doesn't calm her down, it just helps her with focus. She's very stressed right now with college finals, but I do believe she'll survive. And Zed, welcome back from Singapore. We all missed you!

To everyone else, I'll try to do a better job at keeping up. Making great progress on all things Christmas, but working at a church doesn't help keep the to-do list anything close to reasonable. That, and the car repair shop called - took my daughter's car in for repairs, and they think the interior condensation and horrid smell are the result of a dead animal in the engine. Lovely. See ya'll tomorrow!

Vera-b, the fashionista

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hi Modders!

Welcome Kid! So I can think of Billy the Kid, Butch Casidy and the Sundance Kid, Kid Rock, or if you are really old I would go for Charlie Chaplin's "The Kid". Did I miss any other famous "Kid's"?. So you've got me, Kid? Honestly the first place I went was Butch Casidy and the Sundance Kid, so I guess that sort of gives my age (or at least decade) away doesn't it? Whatever the case, you are welcome to join us here. I'm sure that zed will be glad to have another man around as he accuses us of picking on him! I've heard a lot of really good things about SMART, but yes, I have hear it is an abstinance program. Even though the MWO program was developed as a moderation plan, there are plenty of abstainers here who will fit the profile you described.

Lila, you didn't ofend me at all with your questions. I am really happy that you got away from your bad situation. Emotional abuse is terrible! Is your ex ok with your kids or does he treat them that way too?

j-vo where are you?

GB, I love that your boys are bringing you notes to get your attention! How funny is that!

Vera, I worried about opening up too much. I thought about going back and deleting some of it. I mean the whole world could read all about my personal "stuff"! It just started spewing out, and there you go... I'm hitting the submit button. Now it would just looke really weird to delete any of it.

I had an emotional day. Seems that during some of my heavy drinking time, I didn't pay very good attention to my business accounting and made some mistakes. I took a look at some year end financials today and I have some fixing to do.

have a restful evening, or morning, wherever you are,
periwinkle

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Seemed to be an emotional weekend, maybe it was in the stars. I felt like I revealed a lot and it does feel strange....in a way it was good for me, because I don't feel numbed out; I feel a bit strange and complicated, not depressed. Kind of alive, actually. So I think that is good. I am glad I didn't upset you at all, Peri. And good that you are fixing things up, but that must be very tedious.
I think the kids father doesn't abuse them emotionally; I expect it when they are teens, but I will find a way to deal with it then.
Nice to see you back, Vera, next time I am shopping I will look at those bags. Are they at TJ Maxx ever? That is one of the only stores I go to.
GB that is so sweet! I know, I should get off now too, and be present for the kids, who should get to bed. Sunbeam, I can't imagine flowers from tp rolls, I just can't. Do you paint them or something? Sounds like a fun project for the kids.
By the way, wip is back! She thought it over, so that's good.
Yes, where is J-vo?
goodnight all!
Lila

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Fairly SMART...

Vera, Periwinkle and all,
To answer the question about SMART and abstinence...
The director of SMART ONLINE has decided that since the goal of SMART is abstinence, he will ignore the part of their policy that states that SMART can help one control one's addiction and moderate their activities for harm reduction. (At the F2F meetings there were always individuals that arrived somewhat impaired. It was part of the process.) Mentioning "moderation" was not tolerated (many things are not tolerated) He issues "infractions" which result in moderated or filtered participation on the threads. If one receives infractions on two or more occasions he/she is banned for a month, then screened for two months.
Another problem is his reliance on volunteers to police the threads. I'm not sure there is much of a screening process, and some of these folks unfortunately bring their emotional problems to the site.
So far, I am amazed that the sky hasn't fallen :H. Adults seem to intermingle here, pursuing their own plans and destinations very tolerantly and maturely (unless I'm missing something :hitme. What a great place.

Periwinkle! Kid Shelleen was a drunken gunfighter in one of the earliest comedy/dramatic Westerns, "Cat Ballou" with Jane Fonda. She sought his help and found him to be a broken, drunken shadow of his former self (see avatar). In a rapid, dramatic and EXCITING transformation, he stopped drinking then got sobered and all shined up. He broke out the case with his two beautiful six-guns and stood there in his glory; ONE BADASS DUDE!!
...A hero to any man who has had to control his drinking, pull himself up and get to something that HAD to be done.
~Kid Shelleen~

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Welcome Kid! Yip this site supports moderators. I have heard much about the SMART site in the last couple of days, I believe it's a great place. We are very considerate on this site of the Abstainers feelings, hence why we post here. We try and not to post about our drinking or discuss modding elsewhere on the boards as there are many here who have tried and failed to mod so it's difficult for them to read our posts.
It is always wonderful to have someone new on board, especially someone with so much experience and AF time under thier belt. I would love to hear your mod plan when you feel up to sharing with us.

Sun, your flower ornaments sound beautiful -- my daughter would love to make something like that... it will also keep her out of mischief during the school holidays.

Peri, you are a GREAT Mum! Your boys are very lucky to have you:-) I can relate to unresolved issues -- I have found since joining here 6 months ago I have had many old issues, issues which I thought I'd come to terms with re-surfacing. I think the reason is because I did not address the issue at the time, just kind of buried it beneath a whole lot of other sh*t so I didn't have to think about it and therefore it would go away -- NOT! It is painfull to bring up old stuff but oh so healthy!
HA HA White Chilli with a dash of tabacco -- that will take my nicotine addiction to a new level -- Thanks Peri, I'm going to go and check out the recipe now.

Ducky, the link worked perfectly - thanks so much. Tonight hubby and I are having a braai and I think your cucumber salad will be lovely with a juicy piece of steak.

Hi Jamms, I hope work isin't as crazy as yesterday and you get a chance to pop in and say HI

GB, it's funny how I would always follow my hubby's lead -- if he wanted to have a bender well then so did I. I never once said NO! The tables have turned now and I can see hubby's drinking has cut back considerably. He used to have 4 or 5 drinks every evening (but wouldn't get drunk) and now he's having the odd drink here and there. Hubby never offers me a drink but he also doesn't frown or look worried anymore if I ask him to order me a glass of wine.

Vera, I too don't think my daughter is an Indigo Child but I'll carry on reading the book as it gives suggestions on how to treat ADD without Ritalin which is our aim for 2010. We don't want to take my daughter off Ritalin next year as it will be her first year of high school so the year after is what we are aiming for. What medication is your daugher on (if you don't mind me asking?)
A DEAD animal in the engine -- gross! How on earth do you think that happened?

Lila, it sounds like you are coming to terms with what ever has been making you down -- good on you for confronting it and letting it go. Draining but liberating, yes?
YAY, I am so pleased to hear that Wip is back!

J-Vo, Vladster, Zed... where are youuuuuu???

So I am working from home today and I said to myself this morning "DB only log onto MWO at lunchtime otherwise you won't get any work done" and what happens HERE I AM before my morning coffee. I just had to see how all my chummies were doing lol.

Right now I really am off to do some work, have a great day everyone:-)

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

I'm here, not thrown the vodka out yet, but not drunk anymore of it either. Been giving it some thought, I used to drink more vodka than that on pretty much a daily basis and not feel anything. Now I can't hack it. In a way, I'm glad it happened, it's given me a lot of thinking to do, and a it's a kind of pre-warning. I'm going to hubby's works Christmas do Friday...

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

'Morning Everyone, (or good afternoon, evening...) Just wanted to start the day by checking in. I've got another busy day ahead, with a work holiday party at noon...There will be wine, but I won't have any. That's too early in the day for me, with a lot to do all afternoon. I work tonight, so I won't drink anything tonight, either. Peri, I'm going to pick up some Tension Tamer tea today. Thanks!

I've been listening to my "Clearing" cd at bedtime. I love that one. It puts me to sleep, which I know is not the true purpose, but it's not a bad way to drift off. I've always had trouble sleeping when Hubby was away, and I used to take Klonopin fairly often to get to sleep. The CD works even better.

I feel fine waking up this morning after two small glasses of wine last night, and it was not at all hard to stop at two. But I am aware of having told myself I'd go AF for the duration of my husband's trip, so I'm going to try and do that for at least the next four nights. Lately I seem to be okay with two glasses, but I want to remind myself of how good it feels to wake up and remember "I didn't drink anything last night!"

Wish I had hours to just go back and read all your posts. I'm behind...Sorry. But if I don't get the boys going now the tension will rise as we realize we have to hurry or be late for school. Stay well, everyone. GB

P.S. I feel so boring with no Avatar...Don't know how to do that yet. I'll explore the site when I have time.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

hi everyone
you are on the right track, GB. You too, Vlad! Hi Kid, never saw that movie.
Oh, Deebs, I don't know much about cars, but did an animal climb in there? And die when the car started and machine parts started moving???? Yuck. Glad you made time to stop in! Lots of times I spend way more time here than I planned. Yes, I do feel lighter, like something has been resolved or something.
Last night it snowed. I cancelled all our activities, and we all just stayed in. If it has to be cold, then it is nice to have snow. Maybe today I will get some firewood, that is always nice even though it is supposed to be a huge heat loss.
have a great morning everyone!
Lila

[ducky]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Hey all,

Just a quick hello and I am off to pilates. I will check in later!

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 8th December

Maybe back to bed, then?

Good morning everyone,
While we are looking back; does everyone here actually REMEMBER the TV show for which this thread was named? "The Mod Squad..one black..one white..one blond..." (said in a deep masculine voice) That makes me want to watch it again; OH NO!
So many retro DVDs..so little time!
Woke up with my head spinning and the alarm chirpping away. Have you had that feeling? Dreaming so so deeply that reality was disorienting?
This next phase of modding finds me able to keep alcohol in the house. As Zed and I agree on, go for QUALITY not QUANTITY. I bought a four-pack of shamefully expensive beer and only drink one (shamefully small!) bottle at a time. I dream more and sleep better on little or no alcohol.
I had to wake out of this delicious dream state because it is my week to carpool my HHN (honey-haired-girl) and her friend to school. The house is still a bit cool (thrifty Dad here, turned the heat down a bit low last night) but coffee is on the way and LazyDog will take me for a walk soon.
GB: The offer still stands. If you want to do a few days (a day?) of AF together, I'm game..
Lila: The fireplace can be a heat loser; but hey, we're Mods! While some would say, "No fire in the fireplace forever because of the heat loss and cost", a mod would come up with a plan to be able to have one fire per week and not feel guilty in the morning! Am I right?
DeeBee: Thanks. Yes I'll keep to our little corner of the universe. I'm really glad to be able to talk to others about Modding; comparing plans, levels of success etc.
Vlad: I haven't read your whole story yet, but my advice is to be careful with the vodka! Vodka and gin have been our downfall in the past. I know I can't moderate them very well, yet (I aim at only having one drink when I drink). I find that a bottle of vodka can disappear almost as fast as a bottle of beer.
Well, you Modders..Mods..ModSquadders (what do we call ourselves?) Have a wonderful day! I will check in much later. It's coffee time.
~Kid~