Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

THANKS EVERYONE!!
I do feel a lighter today and more positive about the new year. I have so much planned for 2009 and now I have no reason not to achieve it!!

We had our work Xmas dinner last night, which was lovely. The company was fun, the live band was really good, service was outstanding but the food was crap!! LOL it puts us in an awkward position as they are clients of ours so do we say something or not? Really the food was totally over-cooked --I think the chef took a smoke break and left my fish to cook itself!!

LTG, Starts and Oney, you guys (oops gals) are the bomb!! Erhem, Oney and LTG how are the twaks going?? I am still set to quit on the 1st of Feb and am looking for all the advice I can lay my grubby paws on.

Kid, you have me intriged, what is a "retro-prayer"?

Happy Anniversary Sun and Mr Sun!! Wow, 28 years!! What an amazing achievement, and yes I say achievement because marriage is HARD work, but so rewarding. Thanks for the kind words Sun, you are so special to me:-) I hope Mr Sun is giving you lots of tlc while you are tucked up in bed getting better... I hope you feel well soon.

Sara, good on you!! Posting your thoughts and feelings instead of pouring that third glass of wine is such a healthy way to deal with it. Ahhh that must've been a special moment listening to your son read to you. Give him a huge hug from me -- 5 is such a precious age.

Vera, dear Vera, where art thou?? I hope you get a chance to check in soon -- I know you are hectic at this time of the year but I miss you!

Peri, you do what's best for you. Sometimes we have to politely say NO, we just can't do it. Easier said than done, I know. Your mental health is way too important to jepradise altho we do have learn to live with the stresses of life without AL I do think that there is alot of stress which we can avoid.
I have also got customers breathing down my neck to get their furniture before Xmas and I just keep thinking "it's only furniture -- I'm not performing life and death surgery". It's funny how many of them do understand if we can't meet our deadline and they DO come back to us in the new year.

St J, you fought the good fight and WON -- whooohooo to you! Buy yourself a little treat today.

Little Bro, you will be home by now, I hope you had a good flight and enjoy spending this time with your family.
There was much talk at the table last night about China as my boss' daughter is in Shanghai and they have travelled there extensively so I was thinking of you:-)

Vladster, thank you for always being there for me -- it means the world to me!!

Has anyone heard from J-vo? If you are lurking J-vo, please pop in and say HI, we all miss you!

Hi Jamms, KeepW, Lila, Eve, Ask and anyone I might've forgotten -- I hope everyone is looking forward to the festivities and spending time with their families.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

morning modders
Health is the greatest wealth! I really am glad for you, Deebs!
Peri - I hope you do get a little time off, but I do understand the whole customer service thing. Well, good luck finding parking - I have put off shopping too -
Sunbeam, I am curious, do you not get sinus infections anymore?
St. John, good for you!!! and you too, Sara!!! Parenting is a lot of work, and I keep telling myself this is going to be over before I know it, so BE PRESENT!!! Soon I will be older, they will be gone, and I will spend my days praying for a phone call or visit.... I really, I am telling myself this as well, but it is not the Christmas presents, but the togetherness, the memories that they really want and need.
Jamms, that is wonderful!!!
J-V0, and all you other modders, where are you? Hope you have a lovely Saturday!
Lila

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

...Sara, what kind of dog are you getting? if any....maybe we need one too!

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Stay with me on this, DB....The power of prayer and "retro prayer"

I'm not sure that "retro-prayer" is the proper term but maybe you've heard of them if I explain it right:
First, we must accept that perhaps time is not linear, but relative. Perhaps events in the past haven't simply happened, but are "happening". If one even believes in the power of prayer at all, one might believe also that we can pray about something in the "past". For example:I can't undo the Holocaust. Can I pray for those marching to their death? Can I visualize being beside them? Can I pray that God bestows His peace upon them, taking away their fear and minimizing their pain? Can I pray as it's happening, "Please...please God let something GOOD come of this? Can it be done? I don't know for sure. I don't know ANYTHING for sure. I'd like to believe that if a number of people prayed that way that things WOULD have positive outcomes. There are many things that we feel powerless to influence. There are horrific events, dumped into our laps by the media every day; that have occured, are occuring, or sure to occur soon. Sometimes prayer is all we have. It may be more, or less, powerful a tool than we imagine; but it certainly can't HURT anything, and by being open and conscious of our prayer we might actualy see how we can be involved in the solution.
It's early. My wife and I are just rousing our lazy bones in our hotel room. We went out of town, but close,to celebrate OUR wedding anniversary of 17 years. Coffee is on (I HATE powdered creamer). For now, this is the best explanation of "retro-prayer" I can come up with DB!
Peace,
~Kid~

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Surprised at how much I drank

Posting a 5 in my drinktracker and not happy about it. Was ready to post a a 3 but thought I should check the bottle and found less than a glass left, so maybe officially its a 4.5 but nonetheless last evening got away from me.

Was looking forward to 2 - 3 glasses and early to bed given that I'd slept very poorly the night before. Was home talking on the phone first with a friend and later a surprise call from my sister in California. I've made this mistake before, pouring a glass and chatting away with a friend, not noticing how much I'm drinking.

Also had a fairly lengthy and emotional discussion with my daughter re: her grades and teacher conferences. So have thought about this.

Jenny Craig calls this 4 stepping
1. Forgive yourself.
2. Analyze the situation and your response. (where were you, who were you with what did you think or say to your self, how did you feel)
3 Plan a strategy for that situation next time. (When the phone rings I will look at bottle to remind myself where I am (drink 1, 2,3) and switch to water if I'm done. Maybe even switch to water anyway, since when I'm talking on the phone, I'm not noticing the taste and pleasure of the wine anyway.
4. Rehearse. Talk yourself through the situation, role play, so your memory has an imprint and you don't have to go find a piece of paper with your plan on it, it's already in the "memory stores."

So all and all a surprise. Used up all my drinks for the week so AF tonight.

Glad I had to go find my Jenny Craig manual (to reference the 4 step) as it has lots of lifestyle management techniques that I think will be good for me to review as I come up on this 1 year anniversary. Keeping the negativity in check is definitely a challenge: one thought I had this morning is "here you are a year later still drinking nearly a bottle of wine a night." which is so not true. It happened once, but one part of my mind can go to that negative place. More positive self talk is a lesson I've really had to practice, and practice.

Thanks for listening to all this.

Fondly,

Ask

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

That is great advice, Ask, esp the forgiveness part. After having nothing since Sun or Mon? I drank a half bottle of wine last night. Now how did that happen? Because I was drinking it with dinner. A water glass there too would have helped a lot.

[keepwalking]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

can i be controversial here and say why was it so bad that you had nearly a bottle ask when you dont normally and lila whats wrong with half a botttle on a friday, was it enjoyable? why so much guilt or am i misssing something?? is that not the pleasure of wine/ if you are having AF nights in the week then why not? if we always feel this bad when we
have wine/A then why not just give it up.? I control my AF nights so i can enjoy my wine when i do have it, is that wrong?? it might just be me but reading these posts its liked you committed a cardinal sin?? why so? i guess i have missed someting and i think i am probably about to find out the hard way?

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Hi Everybody,
Lila, I posted a couple weeks ago about nasal irrigation. I began this practice about a year ago, and since then I have had no sinus infections. I posted more details about this practice under wholistic heath. Greatly reducing my drinking I imagine also helps.

Ask, isn't it great that we can get strategies for life from so many good resources, including Jenny Craig.
Two good things about that five: you posted it honestly, and you want to change. The fact that we use Drink Tracker is a great reality check. For me it has been the only way to "remember" and identify the patterns, and change the results. That's what you are doing, and that's what counts.
It is also very good that you are still here. Both of us, actually. Still seeking and receiving great support to keep alcohol under control. So many people have come and gone from this site during that year, but we are hanging in here, and I think will have better futures because of our efforts.

Kid, thanks for the retro prayer explanation. Makes sense to me. It reminded me (before your explanation) of the verse I was once encouraged to use if I forgot to say grace before a meal: "Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me..":H
And happy mutual anniversary. I'm still not well today, but spending most of the day on the sofa instead of in bed. I just listened to the complete Messiah. Not a bad way to spend a day in the Christmas season.

Deebs, you are right, marriage is a lot of work. I think we are on the upside of life now, we hardly disagree about anything anymore. We actually are both pretty stubborn. Neither expects the other to change, but we take turns flexing.

Sara, glad you are doing well, especially with your most precious littlest one.

Peri, sounds like you did comuunity theater at some point? That's where I met my husband so many years ago. He worked lights and sound, while I was a nun - in the Sound of Music!!!

take care, all

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Sunbeam - I remember. I used to do Nasal Irrigation with my kids' china teapot. It is now long lost.
Keeps - yeah, why feel bad...? Well, it was more than I planned, and I do have a headache today...but yeah, I am also, for different reasons just feeling vulnerable and small.
But your post really made me smile and I needed to smile today.

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Venial sins?

Hey Keep Walking: Fair questions.

I do not usually feel guilty drinking wine, but I don't consider drinking a whole bottle in one sitting moderating, for me. A 1/2 bottle is my goal. So you're right, Lila's 1/2 bottle seems fine to me. And my full bottle might seem fine to you.

My weekly goal is to limit to 7 drinks, which is what many health experts recommend. And I choose to divide that into 3 days. So my goals are to limit to 2 - 3 per night, or to cut my # of nights down. I've been over my totals for the last few weeks, even though I've had many many moderate nights. But I've had a few 4s which is too many in my book.

I'm coming up to 1 year and had been debating whether to keep using drinktracker (I will) or just "winging it and being more relaxed about it." I don't want to slide into old bad habits in which I was averaging nearly a bottle per night.

Not ready to "give it up" by a long shot either!! :-)

Sorry if I seem to be perseverating about this aloud. Trying to figure it out.

Ask

[keepwalking]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Lila you deserve to smile every single day, you are so so so so nice!! please dont feel small, you are ACE! you may have had a headache anyway!! enjoy to-day and appreciate yourself! xxxx

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

thank you Keeps! I actually went for a walk today!

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

It's OK...but what's the PLAN??

KW,
You are right,of course, that these amounts, 1/2 bottle or whole bottle, are not much in themselves. They are certainly less than we used to drink, and drink quite a bit more often. The reason people get upset with themselves is because they have broken their self-imposed "moderation rule" and feel that they have let down their guard and lost some control, that's all. That's the only thing you have "missed". If they said to themselves "I'm going to cut loose on the weekend and have a WHOLE bottle of wine" then it wouldn't have bothered them..See?
We all have different rules and definitions of "moderation". I think you and I should go have a whole bottle NOW. :H
See ya,
~Kid~

[keepwalking]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

count me in kid!! sadly im in bed and ready for sleep but def raincheck! thanks though kid that does put it into persepctive and i guess thats what i do, i could not be bothered with one glass of wine, seriously i would rather not bother. but i can understand that its different for everyone. I can and will drink a bottle on a friday without a hangoverr and wihtout guilt as i wont have had anything all week, but i think its so imprtant to be honest with yourself. ask and lila you are so in control with the limits you set yourselves, that is not problem drinking but please do enjoy it when you do otherwise its just not worth the angst! kid i am not making a pact for next week as its christmas now and ive finished work for two weeks and my family are all back togethr, i intend to b moderate, i will not be drunk at anytime including new years but i will probably enjoy a glass of wine with my meal each day as its the holidays< that said i will have a rod of iron come Jan to join the pact, get really fit and moderate so i am AF 5 days per week. Intersting discussion thanks all - lila well done on the walk, have you got a podometer yet, 10.000 steps a day my friend as a minimum from 1st jan xx

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Hi KW,
On a "What is Moderation" thread, I once described moderation as a continuum, ranging from very moderate occasional drinking to daily drinking within limits. Each of us finds our own Way Out, our own path. I am on the very moderate end of that continuum. I want to be done with cravings, and it seems I am accomplishing that. I haven't had any strong cravings since September. I can only do this through keeping my intake very low. On the other hand, I agree with the thought of "why bother with one glass?". I think DeeBee mentioned that thought her earlier this week. When I do drink, it is most commonly sharing a bottle of wine with my husband, or one or two friends.