Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Oh,sure...

KW...Thanks for bringing it up. Now everybody is STARING at me!:upset:
If you remember, I spoke about "different rhythms" and Lila and I were going to cheer you all on "from the sidelines"..Remember? Now Lila is showing off and getting all AF til Friday "just like Sunbeam"...:H
Seriously; I'm taking it ODAT. I'm AF tonite but tomorrow is date night with the Missus. Where we go, I like my single beer. So my weekly AFing will be complicated. I'll just keep track of the stats for you, and when I'm ready for a multi-day pact I'll shake you.
On the "alcoholic" subject; if you recall my post from last week starring the gentleman with 17 years AF then a bad binge. I think, as Sunbeam stated,the nervous systems and bodies of some of us long term drinkers, all the way down to the cellular level, probably have changed permanently, but as she also pointed out; WE can change. Our habits can change. How we cope and how we deal with life can change; how we reward ourselves. How we respect ourselves...What we want out of life and what we are willing to do to get it...All of that can change until the beast is finally quiet. But people like us must always be aware that the beast is still there. Even 17 years later, if one becomes too complacent, he will rise and try to destroy us and everything we love. (Is that overstating it?...OK,you're right...never mind!):lol3:

Later.
~Kid~

[JAMMS]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Keep and Evie-- Can't wait to begin our journey. Hope the Dr. will give me the topa.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Stick A Needle in My Eye folks.


Hubby's home at last, and I had a couple of glasses of wine with him tonight. Now, of course, I regret it, but that's the nature of the beast. It was such a relief to have him back home and to finally be able to talk with him about every little worry about the kids and Christmas and work...I really relaxed at last, with wine as a part of it. I like the pact idea...really, I do, but tonight I cheated. It's tempting to lie, but that's not what this is all about.

What's the plan, Keep, Evie and Jamms? Are you going to do the MWO program in its entirety? I liked the book, but I'm scared of the Topa, after reading about the cognitive impairment that came with it. I can't imagine being at work and having trouble remembering peoples' names.

I've had mixed results with Kudzu. There have been times when it seemed to have a powerful anti-craving effect, and other times when I didn't notice that at all. Anyone else?
I'm all out, and trying to decide whether or not to order more.

Peri, it sounds like you handled your cravings beautifully. I haven't gotten hooked on Tension Tamer yet. Maybe I can try incorporating it into the hypno-therapy, too. You seem to have felt the craving, been very aware of it, and taken control. Well done.

Alcoholic? It's such a scary word, isn't it? I honestly don't know how to define it. I am not physically dependent, in terms of having withdrawal symptoms like DTs. But I have definitely experienced a psychological dependence; I want it when I'm tense, and I want it bad....So, maybe that's alcoholism. I know I'll never be a normal, social drinker. I suspect I'll never casually "take it or leave it". But on the other hand, I have always managed my life very well, according to other peoples' standards. Like you, Keep, I can generally stop when I want to...It's just a little later than most people.

Thanks for the concern about my memory lapse. It did scare me. My dad had early onset Alzheimers, at about the age of 57. He died two years ago, after 8 years with that hideous disease. I'm 44...So I do look for signs. But I think, honestly, that I was just buzzed the other night...It was only two drinks, but close together, not much to eat, tired...I blame the alcohol. If it happens again, though, I'll call my doctor.


I ran a thread about what to do when Santa can't afford a Wii. Lots of great responses. We broke it to the kids tonight that they will not be getting one for Christmas. We suggested they could start pooling their money and saving together if they really want one.
It was hard, but not a tear was shed. We can't live beyond our means.

Sudden interruption from cuddly child. Good night, friends. Sara

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Happy Monday dear Modders,

Sounds like everyone is up to the task of the week. Thank you Deebs for your kind words. You're always the cheerleader for this site (bet you were popular, too!!) and it helps to feel included even when I miss some days. Just trying to do all the extra work at church and not be snarly about it (example: several people came in today and were hoping it wasn't too late to purchase pointsettias to decorate the sanctuary - they are listed in the Sunday bulletin as "in memory/honor of" someone special). Of course it was yet another interruption to include them, but I had to cheerily encourage their participation. I know, I know. It's a church silly. No room for sarcasm. Remember the apostles and prophets said that no matter how bad things get, darkness doesn't win. So, I worked on keeping the highter road.

Christmas activities finally getting done. It helps when every retailer known to man is scrambling for an extra buck - prices are lower - finally.
Take care my friends, and remember to keep at the forefront what is really important in this life. First and foremost is family, followed by our dear friends, co-workers, and acquaintenances. So much love, so little time . . . take care all. hope to see you tomorrow.

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

hey there Vera-B! we're both here. late there huh? it's early here!

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Yo Mr. Zed,

Just getting close to Ms. Vera's bedtime. The morning comes so very early this time of year - dark when I get up and dark when I get home from work. But don't like to complain - there's far too much to be grateful for. Hope all is well in China-land my dear friend. Always look forward to hearing from you.

Vera-b

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Just finished dinner and had an after dinner cup of tea... English Toffee tea. Yummy! Thanks Jamms and Sara for your encouraging words. I will be beefing up my cd listening and see what that does.

He Vera and zed!

periwinkle :h

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Always an Alcoholic? I'm not owning that

I do not consider myself an alcoholic. And I don't think I'm in denial.

I think a have a predisposition to have a problem with alcohol, which several in my family also have. And I think for the last several years I got in the habit of drinking too much and too often and was a "problem drinker" - including several times driving after drinking (thank god no one ever got hurt), sometimes not remembering everything from the night before, falling asleep on the couch after drinking too many glasses of wine.

But the biggest joy of this program has been learning that much of the issue IS A BAD HABIT that I can learn to control with drugs and strategies and attending to this, just as I would with diabetes, or high blood pressure or excess weight.

I am a nurse and my father was an alcoholic, and I've been very vigilant, and careful not to sugarcoat my drinking. I've been asking myself for years whether I 'm an alcoholic (which some would say "you must be if you're asking yourself that question.") But finally facing this issue head on with a drug/alcohol counselor who has encouraged me and believed I could successfully moderate has lifted this huge burden of that question off my mind.

I really don't think I'm an alcoholic. And I'm thrilled. Some may disagree. I am mostly resolved about this, finally.

But I do have to be careful. And I've had to work hard to understand the reasons I drank (habit, upsetness, anger, sadness, lonliness, isolation) and to create a new life of connectedness, asking for help, and living and dealing with my emotions.

Just my 2cents.
Ask

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

So, kids.

Here's the deal. Some thoughts from the old mind of Z:

1. Travelling is not good for moderating. Setting up moderation goals is greatly aided by having a routine; one that can then be controlled, at least, to a certain extent. Control is key after all, right?

2. Travelling for Moderation is like a Time Machine for Dieting... you don't know where you're going to end up (which century, which place) - I'm talking about one of those old wonky time machines that doesn't work so well - and once you get there you don't know what you're going to have to eat. Hard to eat Salads if you are in a time machine on your way to... the south of China in the 13th century! Well, possibly hard, I haven't done the research. Maybe that's what was the rage back in the 13th century, along the banks of the Yangtze river. There were tons of Salad shops. Maybe, who knows! But you get my point.

LOL!

3. This is not to say "don't travel." Oh please. What this is meant to say, is that, moderation needs to come from something deeper, firmer, than daily routines and superficial lifestyle choices. It's all well and good to hole ourselves up in our comfort zones and expect to be pretty successful at moderation - at least for a time. The challenge then is, to contemplate what a Life of Mod will be like, when various challenges are thrown at us, like uncertainty, unpredictability... all those things we don't like to think about too much, but that do have a way of creeping up when we least expect it/ them to do so.

4. Let's prepare ourselves. Let's dig deep, deeper, deeper still... to find the source.

5. The shift from a Life With AL to a Life of 'true' Moderation/ AL-Freeness (only each of us know inside what 'true' moderation means for ourselves) requires hard work. The work means pain and challenges. It means: Questions we don't like the answers to. And Answers we don't like the questions to.

6. We can do it. In my mind I am equating the long-term nature of this struggle with finding something more than a routine out of AL... but a true, deep shift in my consciousness. In how I perceive myself as a being on this earth. In how I perceive the relationships I have. The things are around me, material and immaterial. In how I perceive my thoughts.

7. Everything NEEDS to change.

8. We cannot remain the same persons we were before... before we made the conscious decision to change ourselves and find healthier ways to 'Be Alive'.. and yet consider ourselves 'healed' or changed'

9. Yes it is a work in progress. In as much as life is a work in progress.

Ok, just some thoughts on a Tuesday morning. Back to work for me. Sleep well kids.

Needless to say, these are just my thoughts written out spontaneously. These ARE NOT RULES/ STATEMENTS OF FACT or anything.

We must each find our own ways out in the end. And by finding our ways out, then seeing our own ways IN to ourselves.

Take care all.

So excited to go home. Can hardly believe it's happening... there is nothing more precious than family. I say this as a young man who has spent far too much of his life away from his.

More soon! Keep going all!!! WE ROCK!

z

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

PS. There's a new film called "Slumdog Millionaire." A tale from my hometown. Do try to catch it when you can. It's really fricking good. A story of Triumph and Joy! Very life-affirming.

It's showing in some places, and hopefully will show in other places too, soon.

Yo Vera, sleep well.

Peri my dear - miss you dear. Good to hear you are well. Will think of you often back home. It's a place that you would no doubt LOVE.

All the rest of you.. I won't call each of you out by name.. as the list of long, and I will not take the chance of missing anyone out... HAVE A GREAT DAY

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Some amazing Tuesday morning thoughts from you zed. I will ponder some of them on my Monday night. Have a productive day!

And Ask, I agree with you completely. I do not consider myself an alcoholic either. I am a problem drinker. I have crossed a point but do not belive I have crossed the next one. I lived with an alcoholic for 7 years, the biological father of my children. I am not an alcoholic.

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

I'll watch for the movie zed. One day I will practice yoga in India (there's just no good emoticon to show yoga). When do you leave?

[JAMMS]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

To: Sara

Sara- I'm nervous about the topa too, but I'm more nervous about AL. My plan is to follow the program by the book as best I can. I posted earlier (somewhere) that I have cognitive impairment already. I plan to be monitored by my Dr. everystep of the way. If he'll do it. If a we go through it together we can compare notes and side effects, you know help each other out. The kudzu I have are 750 miligram tablets. I take 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening about 4 days a week. (I don't need them after a AL night) I think it's doing something but I don't think it is enough on it's own.

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Sara and Jamms, the cognitive effects of the topa don't last long. RJ talks about some other supplements you can get to counter that too if you want to get that (those) as well. I was going to look into it but by the time I got around to it the side effect was pretty much gone anyway. I had much greater side effects from trying to hide my breath the next day after an AL bender.

I am really greatful to all my friends here on this journey with me. I couldn't have gotten this far without all of you. :l

I'm going to go get ready for bed now. It's been a long day.

periwinkle :butterfly:

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 15th Dec

Sj, your question has been playing on my mind all evening. I tend to agree with Ask. I think of myself as a "problem drinker". I think if I had carried on the way I was I would definetly be an alcoholic but I came to my senses before it got that far -- bearing in mind I am still fairly young.
I also have to wonder at the difference between an "alcoholic" and a "problem drinker". To me (and this is very subjective) an alcoholic wakes up in the morning craving his/her first drink whereas a "problem drinker" has set times and rules when they start drinking... does that make any sense? I also believe that an alcoholic will more than likely NOT be able to moderate.

Again, these are just my thoughts.

Little brother, your thought provoking post was just what I needed to read this morning. Without going into detail, last night I had one aweful row with hubby and in the clear light of this morning I realise that it was because he was out having a party and I was at home sober -- I miss the fun of drinking sometimes. I was questioning myself last night... wtf am I doing this for? It is so easy to slip into "oh woe, feel sorry for me" mode. The episode last night has left me confused and a bit shaken so I am going to pull myself up by the bra-staps and go and do some baking (today is a public holiday here).

Happy Tuesday everyone!!