Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

[vlad]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

zed;515490 wrote:
Vlad, hope you stuck to the 2!

I DID!!!

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Sara,
You are absolutely forgiven for dropping out of the pact. I understand change of heart. I understand the thought of lies to cover up the truth to your electronic friends. I never did lie, because what would be the point of coming here, but I thought about it. I easily drink less now than others here, but those days don't feel so far behind me.

Eve, great going! It feels to me that you have reached some kind of turning point. I think Drink Tracker is a great tool to keep track, make adjustments, and for your friends to know how you're doing without having to tell them or label your actions. So I've oberved increases that made me uneasy, then finally decreases, since you came here. Some people who try to drink moderately only increase and keep increasing until they throw in the towel. You have kept that question on the burner: can I learn to moderate? So I don't wish to ever judge anyone, just offer praise when I see good work. I feel like you are doing great.

I think this group has not had it's own discussion about when to throw in the towel. The responses to your post were interesting, but many didn't really answer the question, or there were specific events. For me, I think I would have thrown in the towel if I had continued to increase my drinking, and could not make myself cut back until I felt in control. What about you, fellow modders?

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Don't worry...be happy..

Sara,
Throw the guilt away! Take a deep breath...Feel better.
I think you are making the right choice; we've talked about this before.
Sunbeam: I did alot of AF prior to, and made several approaches at moderation. As my plan and desire evolved, I started becoming more successful at it.. I WAS planning on one expensive micro brew beer per day and I was happy to have settled into that moderation schedule. Now I find that I'm feeling SO much better on the totally AF days, that I'm weaving them into my week more often. Who knows where that will end? I like the idea of modding with very infrequent drinking.
I guess I would throw in the towel and find a way to go AF if I ever felt I was losing control again. I HATED those days, and try periodically to conjure up those terrible feelings. The momentum seems to slow by never drinking too many days consecutively.
~Kid~

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Kid,
I am right with you on the thought against drinking consecutive days. There sure is a lot of emotional baggage with alcohol addiction, but the physical piece plays its role too. My current understanding is that it takes a week for alcohol to get out of our bodies. If we drink consecutive days, we continually wear down the body's ability to remove this toxic substance, and also wear down our ability to combat those urges to drink. Then: whammo! We slide down that slippery slope. So I think that how much we drink each day gets too much focus, and how many AF days gets too little thought.

[lenaleed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Ok I give up for now. I'll wait for the Naltrexone to arrive from River. Kudzo and supps are great -- I feel like a healthy drunk. Has anyone else had the newcomer experience of drinking MORE after finding these boards? Also, anyone use the MWO cd's along w/ Sinclair method? I know the mice quit excess drinking w/o counseling, but I doubt the mice went through painful divorces and their job seems to have been pretty low-pressure. Thanks for all the sharing, Lena

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

hi all
I have not read all the posts, just a minute between kids - Sara, I so know what you mean, I went through this on another thread, wondering whether to lie or not. And then if I lied, what good was even being here? I am just about to take some Kudzu. I am exercising and thinking how awesome I will look when it is the season of taking the kids to the community pool! I look fine, but have a bit of a tummy. I really really hate that!
Lena, painful divorces? In the General section, look for the divorce thread. Maybe I will give it a bump. You have lots of company here!
Bye all
Lila

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for all the support and understanding. I agree, no sense in lying here. If we aren't honest, what's the point?

Lena, It sounds like you've got it bad. I hope the meds will help, and I bet they will. More drinking since posting? I don't know...More drinking since trying to drink less, perhaps? More obsession with alcohol? I found myself thinking about it a lot this afternoon, dammit. I was just not having any fun...and I still believe on some sick level, that alcohol is fun. It's 6:16. and time for me to put dinner on the table. I am sipping diet tonic, but thinking that after we get the kids to bed I may have a glass of wine. It's a waste of mental space, but hard to reign in. Must go...Sara

[vera-b]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Whew! Just spent the last hour reading this thread. Was laughing out loud so much that I had to let hubby in on some of the banter. He loved Kid's description of Zed in a tent with many women. Hope he's not jealous!!! Eve, I'm intrigued by your eyeliner tattoo. I had a friend in New Jersey that had this done because she had alopecia, or a loss of all body hair. She did it to highlight her eyes because without eyelashes and brows she was pretty stark. I'm naturally blond/grey so my eyes disappear without makeup. Did you have this done by a plastic surgeon? I've love to be not so make-up dependent.

And to all the mod squad, you have entertained me no end. I wish I had something riveting to add. I'm so into the new year and healthy living. I've pumped up my exercise, and am into healthy meals. Once college girl went back to school, the junk food disappeared which was so good. Tried on some jeans in a smaller size today, and the only problem was they were a tad too short. Good times.

Vlad, your descriptions of non-drink "drinks" had me laughing out loud. After I shared with hubby, we revisited our wish to visit the UK - you are all so funny. Kid, you are doing an excellent job on keeping the laughs coming. Lila - good to hear from you girlfriend!!!! Welcome Lena and always good to hear from you Sara. I so remember the days when my girls were active, young, and needing my attention so much. They are still in touch, just not so needy. Again, I'll welcome good times. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and meet your drink goals. For me, it will be just 2 glasses of an Argentine chardonnay that I'm tasting tonight. All about the tasting. Talk to you soon!

Vera-b

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

hi Vera! Yes, nice to *see* you!
And, Eve, I am beyond intrigued, I am looking into this. How do you know someone is reputable? It is also SO close to your eyes! Any risk of blindness? I was googling permanent eyeliner in my area, and don't know what to do...doesn't seem very common. I think I could also ask my hairdresser, she has a lot of tattoos on her arms. Maybe she will know someone good...
Chardonnay sounds lovely, Vera, for me tonight it is Kudzu and tea!

[dhs]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Hi everyone,

Have not been around much. I am still AF and on day 6. My plan is still 30 days and maybe beyond. I don't know if I will be around too much during this time. I really missed SMART and am trying to catch up with my cyber friends there. Although, moderation is in my plan at some point (I have to try) it is just not something I can think about right now. I really really really need some good long AF time after drinking so much for so long. If I tried to mod right now I would fail and I want to succeed. So I will check in now and then I guess. I just feel empty without the connections I made at SMART during the last 6 months. Yes, the focus is totally AF and that is what I need. People are people so everyone is struggling and having setbacks but I think that goal is what I need right now.

Happy moderation!!!! I will be there someday!!!!

dhs

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

I think you sound very wise, dhs, and really on top of things!

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Come again when you can stay longer...

dhs,
Good luck to you. It's always good to have options.
~KS~

[zed]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Squad,

it's Sunday morning here, I'm running late for brunch with a friend, so no time to write now. Just wishing you all a good healthy Sunday wherever you are, and good luck for the week ahead. My cold is almost done with and this afternoon I will hit the gym for a bit, to get back on my exercise routine that I've missed over the last couple of days due to this damn fever/cold.

This evening a work colleague of mine who works in Los Angeles is in town, and I am taking her to the best Yunnan restaurant in Beijing for sumptuous food offerings. Yunnan is a southern province in China, close to the borders of Vietnam and Burma and India... in the very far south of China. The food is excellent and they make some spectacular cheeses there. And also some great teas..!

Lena, hear your pain. Hang in there and do what you must do. We support you on your journey, and when you are ready to, we're hear to listen and support you. In the meantime, if you need to let us know how you are doing (even if you are binging), then do come back and write and let us know. We've all been there and we can share ourselves if that would help you through this painful time, and the past it, into a new chapter in your life. Big hug.

Sun, I will have a think about "when would I throw the towel in?".. that's a good question. I'm tending to think that I'd have to come about it from another angle.. since throwing the towel in on Modding wouldn't mean going AF... it would mean going back to Fish-style-drinking... since not drinking at all is not an option from a long-term perspective. Or you know what? Maybe it is... who knows. I am changing faster than you can say "Zed's tent is tattered, but there are some beautiful, dancing women in it."

Sara, good on you. Totally agree. One Day at a time. That's it. Any other way, and not just with Modding, but with Life, is delusional.

Lila, don't be asking your tattooed hair-dresser about permanent eye-liner!

I'm sure you are all extremely beautiful without make-up... that goes for everyone here, except you Kid. I think the best make-up a woman can wear is a relaxed smile. It works for men too.

Cheers.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

hey Zed
I am working out these days too! On a big vanity kick and it is fun, actually!!! Smiling as I write this! How is the smog? Still there? And don't get between a lady and her makeup!!
Hey, I heard food in China is - well, like, you order fish, and that's what you get - a fish! Maybe someday I will see for myself. The world seems to be getting bigger for me for a change, instead of smaller....hope same for you!
Lila

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread for January 5, 2009

Okay, won't ask Tattoo Lady about eyeliner...