Vlad's Journal

[vlad]

End of 2008 I made a decision I would start a blog, which I did but decided that wasn't quite right especially as a lot of people didn't even know where my blog was! I tried posting a journal in subs but it became obvious quite quickly that wasn't the place to put it.

Anyway, I think yesterday I seemed to give the impression I had a daily drinking plan.

I want to stress I am certainly not drinking daily now. I have done 3 abstainations, my last one being with the MWO program with a view to moderating.

My aim is to be AF mostly, and only drinking if an opportunity arises - by that I mean if there's a birthday, wedding or if I'm invited to have a drink (which doesn't happen often believe me) and of course if hubby wants us to have a quiet drink together - that is of course when we get a moment together!!! Things are so busy at present.

Yesterday I visited my grandma, she is 83. She had been standing on a chair hanging some new curtains (she has these great big Victorian bay windows) and guess what, she now has fleabitis from doing the whole thing because she was too impatient to wait for my mum to come and help her that morning. Mum arrived to do it and she'd already done it!!!

Last night I felt quite ill though, don't know why, hadn't been drinking - went to bed at 10.30pm, lay awake, felt a little better around 12.00am but then didn't sleep til 3.30am, woke up with the alarm at 6.10am. Not feeling my best today.

The server move is taking place at the office today - so it is a bit chaotic especially as the engineers haven't turned up yet, they were supposed to be here an hour ago.

Tonight is the evening of my bible study group - it's been going good, our study is called 'The life you've always wanted'. Sounds appropriate? Last week we explored being joyful, not hurrying and stressing but being content with life. We all got gifts of 'bubbles' - been blowing them all week. The liquid was used as an anology of your 'joy juice', and the bubbles - YOUR JOY!

Everytime I felt a little down - I blew some bubbles... I blew some last night whilst cooking dinner, some bubbles popped my 'joy juice' into the beans!!! Hubby was not impressed.

DON'T LET ANYONE TIP AWAY YOUR JOY JUICE! :H

[gyco]

Vlad's Journal

good post vladster,you speak from your heart,bubbles in the beans,good concept,soapy beans,give a little more taste then just wax,get it waxed beans,you have accomplished one of the first steps to sobriety,journaling your progress,women have done it for years,then they stop, a diary,your way of thinking is wonderful,you ve gone from a state of numbing ones self,to realising you were wrong,you don't have to get inebriated to enjoy life,i no your religious,our lord and saviour jesus Christ said it,in so little words,come to me, and i will give you PEACE,that five letter word means so many things,I'm one who is learning that all over again thanks vlad,gyco

[cymru]

Vlad's Journal

I blew some of erins bubbles and will tell her about it tnt. Think that's a good thing to do at all ages. I like it!

[Evie.Lou]

Vlad's Journal

I can just see grandma standing up there hanging drapes ...YIKES !!!
I have been asked to give a talk at a local spiritual center this week end.Incredibly the topic is "creating the life that you want".I love your ideas...The bubbles are brilliant...May i use that in my talk on Sunday ??

[vlad]

Vlad's Journal

Of course you can Evie - the bubble thing wasn't my idea though, we have a DVD to accompany the study, the idea came from there!

[DeeBee]

Vlad's Journal

JOY JUICE! I love that.

Any idea why you aren't getting a good night sleep?

[vlad]

Vlad's Journal

Think it was just last night - wasn't feeling too good. Think I was a little anxious I might throw up or something - anyway you don't want to know about that... :H

[startingover]

Vlad's Journal

I hope you are feeling better now Vladdie, I love the idea of a journal. Good one!

[cyclefan]

Vlad's Journal

Good going Vlad. Back on the horse, I like your spirit.

[vlad]

Vlad's Journal

Last night proved to be quite an emotional one - not in a bad way though. Just when I'm reminded of the great grace of God it makes me cry tears of joy. At our housegroup last night we were discussing the importance of prayer and confession in encountering a closer relationship with God. We also talked about how sin can prevent us from having that relationship - that hit home and know from first hand experience. When I slipped into alcoholism AGAIN my commune with God dwindled. It is difficult if everytime you come to pray, you're drunk, thinking about drink or unconscious. It takes its toll. I remember crying out to God in church asking him to take my problem away (this was an occasion I was hungover, not drunk so I managed to actually speak to God!). The thing is, God knows our hearts, He knew that deep down I 'enjoyed' being drunk and that I needed to let go of that sin and hand it to Him. I felt Him just say to me, 'No, this is a decision you need to make...' I think I am still making that decision - I have this picture in my mind of me stood there with a bottle of vodka behind my back and the Lord beckoning with his finger saying, 'Come on, I can see it, hand it over.' :H:H:H

Sometimes things take time. But God is patient.

Anway, enough emotional blabber - I'm probably boring you all. More work today till 5.00pm, then rush home, quick dinner of soup and out to youth club. My subject for the young people is 'Who is Jesus?', we are having a simple quiz and I will give a bit of testimony... maybe. Teenagers are so unpredictable.

[Sunbeam]

Vlad's Journal

Vlad,
Thanks for starting this thread. Your thoughts and journey are very special.

[DeeBee]

Vlad's Journal

Patience is a virtue! And we only learn that with time.
Altho I am not religious, or rather I was not brought up religous, I can relate to what you are saying. At the end of the day WE have to be the ones to say NO to AL.

[vera-b]

Vlad's Journal

Vlad,

What a terrific journal. I do believe we learn from each other, and that includes the victories as well as the struggles. I've been rather fascinated by Oprah's admission in early January that she had succumbed to her demons, overeating, and gained something like 40 pounds. Rather than focusing on the weight per se, she placed the emphasis on what was behind the weight gain. What is so helpful about her sharing is the insights others gain from her honest assessment of why we do some of the things we do. We earth dwellers can be complicated, can't we?!? May joy flood your days.

Vera-b

[vlad]

Vlad's Journal

Thanks for all your responses, it's a great encouragement.

Friday night went... Okayyyyyyyy... yes. Actually, despite my dis-jointed ramblings, I was impressed and surprised at what these young people knew already - completely different group to last year.

Yesterday I went to a wedding, two of my friends at church were getting married - it was a beautiful and most joyful occasion. They even rehearsed their vows so they could say them to each other - straight out with no prompts from the minister. It was amazing to witness, never seen that happen before. Made me want to do it all over again (with the same man I'm already married to, obviously!).

The reception was great too, we had a wonderful buffet meal (think I ate too much) and best of all, I decided I would drive and stuck to one drink which I chose to have after the meal for the toasts. To be honest if you wanted a free alcoholic drink you would have been disappointed, free wine was available but seeing as most of this wedding party didn't drink (including the bride and groom) the staff were too busy supplying the non-al drinks and running around like headless chickens to do so. My husband sat there until about half way through the meal before he got his wine. :H I was fine, I had my non-al wine to drink and they'd even given us a bottle of it for the table!!! :H:H:H Of course, there was a bar and you could go and buy an alcoholic drink if you wanted to.

I even got on the dance floor! Unheard of.

Anyway, I can definitely say - you didn't need lots of alcohol to enjoy that evening (why do we need it anyway???) - in fact if you'd had a skin-full you would have missed out!

[startingover]

Vlad's Journal

Wow Vlad, what a lovely story! Thanks for sharing it. It just goes to show that you dont need al to have fun...well done.