The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

[Sunbeam]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Kid and everyone,
Gee, I'm not sure if I really want to be stalked, but if what I am doing can help anyone here, well, that's why I keep posting. From April - August I was drinking multiple days during a week, and it felt like I had to put that effort into quitting over and over again. Now, I truly don't feel like drinking, there is no reason to pact because if anything the fact that I can't drink just makes me think more about drinking. (Prior to April I was 2.5 months AF).

So I guess my message to anyone who admires my level of drinking is, Try it, you (might) like it. Maybe you feel there is more pleasure in drinking more days, because we all like to drink. But I feel I get more pleasure from the occasional drinking because I know I am in control of my life. It is curious to me why there don't seem to be others here on my schedule. I completely respect all the individual differences, but it feels to me like some on this thread are struggling, and maybe just drinking less would be less of a struggle. Maybe it's like gambling: people lose money most of the time because they don't quit when they are ahead.

Thanks for all the kind words. I wish everyone well, and I am here to help, not judge. I have a good life, with all those gratitudes I have posted. It makes it easier for me.

[cyclefan]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hi Mods

I've had another bad week at work, the economy has finally caught up with us and the reserves I've been so carefully spending are at the limit. I had to lay five people off yesterday and it made me incredibly sad. Although it is not my fault that people are not spending as much money in my industry right now as they used to, I still feel like I failed those employees who are now having to get by for a month or two on unemployment. Having to always look at the big picture when making these kinds of decisions is very stressful for me. With payroll and payroll taxes being our biggest monthly expense though, I believe that I had no other choice.

The upside is the employees will not be required to look for other work at this time. We structured the layoff as a temporary one, so they will be called back to work in 10 weeks or less. I can also continue to pay their medical insurance, so that will help them too. This will give the company a chance to rebuild some reserves while the economy strengthens, and I believe it will strengthen.

After the meeting where I announced the layoffs, I had to go in the bathroom and cry and cry and cry.

I drank last night. I have been managing the stress very well for the last two weeks knowing this decision was coming. I let alcohol be my friend and take me into the arms of forgetfulness for a few hours. Non, je ne regrette rien.

I do so enjoy reading everyone's posts each day. Thanks for keeping it real. xo Beth

[Kid Shelleen]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hang on, Beth..

You did very well in a very difficult situation.
It sounds like the company is treating folks as fairly as is possible.
No Karma problems for you, that I can see!
Be careful with the drinking. I think it's perfectly OK to let alcohol "be your friend for a few hours" occasionally.
But she's very greedy and untrustworthy.
soyez prudents..
~Kid~

[DeeBee]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

(((DM))), I too am enjoying my AF time. Sounds like you and hubby had a blast. I am so pleased to hear you sounding happy.

J-Vo, go and have fun this weekend. Relax and enjoy every moment, k!!

Sun, great post!! I love your attitude to modding, it's refreshing and so calm.

Damn Beth, that's a crap call you had to make. You have a great positive attitude and I too believe things will get better soon.

Vladster, if you're lurking, I'm thinking of you:-)

Last night I went to the first of 10 classes with Oprah and Eckhardt Tolle... WOW is all I can say. If anyone has read "A New Earth" I hightly recommend watching the interviews and doing the worksheets which are all available on the Oprah.com website.
Personally I am not a huge fan of Oprahs but she is very skilled in asking the correct questions and getting to the bottom of something.

My sister is coming to spend the weekend with me so that should keep me busy... you know how teenagers must always be doing something, which preferably costs lots of money:-)

Catch you later.

[ThatGirl]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hey all, what you've been saying has (finally xD) worked it's way into my little brain. Today is day 2 of 30 AF, so wish me luck. Sorry I took so long to do what you guys told me - I'm stubborn and have a hard time believing that anybody elses way of doing things could -possibly- be better than mine xD Typical 18 year old eh? Much love to you all.

[DeeBee]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

TG, I am so proud of you!!

You had to make the decision yourself, and make sure it's the right one for you.
I support you all the way and shout if you feel overwhelmed or just want to chat, k.

[Delta Moon]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Bon jour mes amies! How fun to see some of you using French- tres bien!

O.K._ I have lots to catch up on.....

DeeBee- good going not falling into the lunchtime power buzz trap! And NF on top of that... You have really come a long way. I'm proud of you. :yay: My daughter wants to know more about the monkeys occasionally in your house. What kind are they? Are they tame at all?
I have read A New Earth and have the tapes of Ekhardt speaking about some of the principles of the book. I am now reading his first book The Power of Now. Good stuff.
He states that all cravings are the mind seeking salvation or fulfillment in external things and a substitute of just being present. He goes on to say that drug and alcohol "highs" eventually turn to a low- that pleasure soon turns to some form of pain that accumulates and we become addicted to the pain. So the cycle continues.
I hear he is working on a new book and I am looking forward to it.

cyclefan- I am sorry about the layoffs. This is such a troubling time for all of us. We have to stay positive and not let ourselves fall into using AL as the old bandaid to escape. Lots of people are falling back into old coping mechanisms and drinking and drugging again. I have a brother back in re-hab and the AA meetings are full most days. Lots of people hurting. I'm sure it was hard to be the one to break the bad news to your employees. But stay strong and as Kid says, make a daily plan to help get through sensibly regarding AL.

Hi Sunbeam- I like you so enjoy the AF life but want to share a special glass of champagne or wine when the occasion warrants. I look forward to more time under my belt sober as I feel stronger in who I am every day. Every show or party I attend sober allows me an opportunity to see who I really am- not the me hiding under the blanket of AL. It continues to amaze me how many other people I am finding are recovering too. Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders shared a song the other night that she wrote for "Dr. Bob who has saved many lives including hers". I googled Dr. B and found that he was the co-founder of AA. We always hear of Bill W. but I didn't know of Dr. Bob. Another performer I was with this week shared he has been sober for 2 years. Amazing what you see when your focus changes. I used to see the world from an alcoholics eyes-now am seeing with sober eyes and am attracting that to my life. Sun- you have inspired me to go longer lengths AF and I look to you as a roll model- my Mod Model

Hi j-vo! You sound so good- nice to have you back on board girlfriend

Kid, precious Kid you are the rock, buddy:l

I miss vlad and zed and lila.

Eve you are the bomb, GF and really got them thinking on that other thread. You are so deep!

Have a great weekend- I'm hitting the club tonight with hubby to hang with Kim Wilson of the T-birds who just got married. Stay well my friends-have a good and controlled weekend. As Kid says- MAKE A PLAN!

[Delta Moon]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hey TG we just cross posted-good on you for 2 days! Make it 3? Climbing your way up the 30 day ladder. Stay cool

[j-vo]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Happy Friday Modders,
Well, Sun, I think you've got many followers, or groupies! We all see the benefits of the life you lead, and I aspire to live my life with most days AF. You are the Mod Model! I liked your gambling analogy: "People lose money most of the time because they don't quit when they're ahead."

Deebee and Delta - This book you two are talking about sounds very inspiring. I'm a self-help junkie. Sounds like I book I may look up. Is this a series he's doing with Oprah?

Cyclefan - sorry to hear you've had such rough days this week. That cannot ever be easy. Luckily the health care will continue and they'll be called back in 10 weeks. Ain't an easy time for us. We need to dig deep to find the patience we need to carry us through these next months, years. It'll come around.

TG - good for you - 2 days with your goal being 30. Although there's a lot of controversy with the going AF prior to modding, I think it's in everyone's best interest if they go that route. Keep it up.

Kid - Hope your weekend goes well. Think about me this weekend when I'm facing my fears and demons in class. I want to believe in myself. Let me reword that. I believe in myself!

Eve - great posts you got goin' on! I think we've all had that feeling of taking things personally. When I was in my identity crisis, I didn't know where to go, where I would fit in. I felt as though people weren't responding to me when I didn't have a home and they all had their own little families to chat with. I'm feeling more comfortable here with you guys, so thanks Modders!

Does anyone know if Lila visits here anymore? We had a brief pm last week, and she sounded as though she were going through some tough times. Anyone hear from her?

How about Vera-B?

Well, off I go to get a shower. Since being off work, I usually take a shower every other day!!! I know, I stink! How embarrassing. I do brush my teeth twice a day, still!

[cyclefan]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hi everyone, thanks so much for your positive words! I feel a hundred percent better. I agree that it is not good to get used to using alcohol to escape. The pressure I'd been putting myself under is gone so all in all, an OK experience.

That Girl best wishes to you. Use the tools you find here to help you along. You sound like a very strong and determined individual, so based on that I have every confidence that you'll find Your Way Out.

Have a safe and happy weekend everyone!

[Kid Shelleen]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hi Gang!

Hope everyone had/ is having a great day.
It's warmed up here in the Midwest;
a good reason to enjoy the balmy weather and not overdo...
If all goes well, I'm taking my honey-haired -girl to the circus tonight!

j-vo: No on both counts; no Lila and no Vera_B...
Wishing you courage this weekend. We believe in you too.
Delta: You sound SO good! Have fun this weekend..what a life!
TG: The weekend is coming...hang in there!
You are doing wonderfully!
30 days is a HUGE initial effort and we are all rooting for you.
I think I would have to do 30 days in ten 3 day increments!
Good luck!
Beth,DB,Betty,Sunbeam,Eve,Sara,Vlad,ZedMia, and everyone else
HAVE A WONDERFUL, SAFE NIGHT !
~kID~

[Lila]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

hi all
thanks for asking about me J-vo! I am doing better than when I last wrote to you. I had no wine all week, and it was a good thing. I had one glass tonight, and that was enough. I had a good week. I handled things in my life well, I think.
Actually, lately when I am stressed, I am taking kava kava. I read some books this week too. The weather is getting milder...
Still, I don't think I will go thru another winter without antidepressants. It is just too hard.
Lila

[DeeBee]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Sounds like everyone is doing great -- some wonderful posts to read this fine and bright.

Nothing exciting to report in my little world.
I will get the camera out and take some pics of the monkeys for DM's daughter this weekend.... but I haven't seen them this week which is why I managed to pick my aubergines in peace yesterday:-)

Have a great weekend everyone..

And I'll be thinking of you TG. Weekends are hard so if you feel you cannot cope, jump on-line for support, k.

[Sunbeam]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

Hey everybody,
It's the weekend, and I'm busy. I put together most of my cold frame yesterday after work. My husband will help me get it into the greden this morning, and the soil under it will then begin to warm enough to plant cool-season plants. Today I will take a jewelry class and make some copper enamel pieces.

J-Vo, I overlooked you in my last post. You are putting yourself on my occasional non-schedule for drinking. I truly believe this can work for people whose consumption creeps up when you drink more regularly.
Delta Moon, I hope you will join us, after Lent. Deebs, you too? Less frequent drinking really is easier for me than drinking multiple days during a week.

Cyclefan, the business downturn is so sad in so many lives. Thank you for being a compassionate employer who believes there will be an upturn. But be careful of the drink: you haven't completely learned AF strategies to deal with life's downturns. I think that's important for being a successful moderate drinker. But thanks for that lovely rib eye steak last Friday!

Lila, so good to see you here. You know you are missed by me and so many others. Glad to hear you went nearly a week? without wine. Finding a substitue for alcohol to releive stress or just unwind is very important.

Eve, thanks so much for the thread about moderation being delusional. It offered a great opportunity for me to write down many thoughts. I try to not offer advice unless I'm asked, but you asked, and I went with it.

Kid, you are a different kind of moderate drinker. A lot of your success I attribue to all the self-evaluation tools available through the Smart Recovery program. I did visit that site a few times, and think the tools are very good. They provide a reality-check for drinking. But the peple casually reading your posts on the "Is Moderation Delusional" thread don't know that about you, and you don't really describe the tools that you have used. They are tools that can enable moderate drinking.

ThatGirl, so glad you have decided to take that first step.

Enjoy the day, everyone!

[Delta Moon]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread Beginning March 2, 2009

G'day Sun and Deebs! Its bright and waarm here today and the fruit trees are blossoming so the air is heavenly.
Had fun with hubby at the club we danced and laughed and drank club sodas and cranberries,
After lent I will consider modderating if hubby chooses that. He has not been drinking since Jan. and he had such a huge problem that I will follow his lead on that as I have 7 good months already under my belt.
Cinnabons! Love the smell but if I eat one I will be flying around the room like a sugarglider!:H Thanks for thinking of the pictures Deebs.

What are you planning on planting, Sun? I am headed back to No. California to help my mom again as she is not feeling well and get her garden in for her. They grow enough to feed themselves and some of the neighbors. I'm looking forward to digging in the dirt and taking some time to share MWO with her.

I'm off to the airport to send daughter #2 off to NYC and back to enjoy this gorgeous day.
Blessings......