I remember one particular session where everyone was sharing and it was interesting to see that the common denominator was the fact that everyone felt that they were on the outside looking in at situations in their lives…friendships, work relationships…even that particular group I was sitting in at that moment!
Sometimes I wonder if we feel that way here at MWO and that that is the reason some folks leave our board. Perhaps they don’t feel a part of the group and they feel like they’re on the outside looking in as well.
I will be honest and say that sometimes my feelings are hurt when I start a new thread which I consider a great thought provoking thread and few respond. Sometimes I admit to feeling a little envious when some are bantering back and forth and seem to have a relationship that I don’t have with either or all. But then I have to tell myself: “Don’t take it personally!” “ The Four Agreements” is a good book to read because the author addresses this particular issue. He reminds us to remember that when we’re little it was so easy to feel the world was all about us. “ Me, me, me” as he says. But he then informs us that nothing is all about us. Everyone lives in their own world.
Have you ever been surprised when you’re talking to folks and you realize that they don’t know the latest gossip about you?…maybe you got engaged or something somewhat major happened good or bad and these folks don’t know! I remember being surprised by that here or there and then realizing that I am not the major topic in other folk’s conversations. The author is right!! The universe doesn’t center around me.
So here we are at MWO…strangers on a board. Most names or faces we don’t know. We usually only communicate with the written word which can be misconstrued or misunderstood. A joke may be taken wrongly and then taken as a personal attack when it was only meant to be a joke. In the real world using the proper tones and eye contact we would know it was a joke…but maybe not here.
Why this thread?
Because there have been a lot of great people on the mod boards who have come and gone. Did they take something wrong and get mad and leave? Did they feel like they were on the outside looking in?
I can only say after doing AA for 7 years and having that wonderful support group every week that I had that I do crave and need a good support group here as well. So these are my words of wisdom to old friends and new ones reading today. Come join us…don’t allow yourself to feel like an outsider…and don’t take anything that you feel is negative personally!!
Hugs,:l
Eve11
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