The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

[j-vo]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Hi Magnificent Modders,
Hope everyone is doing well today. It's rainy here, but at least it's not freezing!
I went to see my 95 year old grandfather whose in an assisted living home. He's getting weaker, they say his organs are shutting down. His whole life, he walked everyday, probably up until a few years ago. He also had his liquor everyday, sometimes not in moderation! Every morning (not now) he'd have a shot of whiskey in his coffee. I assume that's after he retired! He earned a letter for football back in 1932 and he gave it to me to give to my son. He's gonna love it!

Ask, thanks for sharing those two things with us. I'm sure your girlfriend is grateful for your help at this time. It hit home, because I am 44, have a son a few years older than that, and no one is immune to alcohol dangers. Stories like this will keep me on the straight and narrow. And I'm happy to hear that you're sounding so good about yourself. Negative thoughts whether they are thoughts of guilt, insecurity, anger or whatever, can be detrimental to ourselves sometimes more than the physical abuses to ourselves. I'm doing a program currently in which I'm working on changing negative thought patterns. We've got to first believe in ourselves and how good we are and let the rest of the shit go! And you're doing that. It's very freeing.

Hey the rest of you modders. Have a great night.

[Eve11]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Ask For Help;568113 wrote: Hi all:

I have been spending time with a girlfriend who learned that a guy she had been dating on and off since November was found dead in his apartment - due to alcohol.

Ask,
I feel sorry for your friend. My first husband died from alcohol poisoning too. We had been divorced for a while (due to his infidelity and lack of responsibility and alcohol abuse) but it was a sad day just the same. Such a wasted life. He had wrecked it even more by getting into a car accident years before while drinking and was paralyzed. I'm sure the depression from that even led to more drinking...thus the vicious cycle.

I know when we divorced I made a vow to have a great life and my motto was "Living well is the best revenge". And so...I have been living well. And it's gotten even better since I've taken a serious look at my own drinking problem and have started coming here diligently since 9/2/8.

Your improved look is also probably your skin Ask. Alcohol dehydrates our skin. Wrinkles are more pronounced - sometimes capillaries break and people get red, blotchy skin. Without that abuse I'm sure your skin looks lovely now as well.

Keep up your good work and grab onto my motto...Living well is not only the best revenge but the best thing we can do for ourselves! :goodjob:

[Kid Shelleen]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

I've always loved that saying!

Eve,
I had a crystal drinking glass with that engraved on it..
I lost track of it in my various moves (or my first wife broke it).
She took it too literally; "Why do you want revenge...wa wa wa"
The point is, just as you have put forth:to live well,
especially after someone or something has tried to hurt you or keep you down some way!!!
That's what we owe ourselves and our families!
I've adopted "The Mod Life is the Good Life" in this context,
but it's all about the same thing; having it all and not overdoing...
Thanks Eve, for the reminder...
I may have that engraved on my beer mugs!!!
~Kid~

[Sunbeam]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Wow, everyone sounds great!

J-Vo, you really do sound like a different person that the one that posted here with us last fall. I think that's the test for success at MWO: getting your life back, leading YOUR life instead of one dominated by alcohol. Lots of AF days, when you don't even think about drinking.

Ask, what a contrast between your stories. But the positive one, about how great you look, is the proof of your success at MWO.

And LILA! You are making good progress, achieving success by getting away from alcohol. You don't often share that much about yourself, and some people seem to hang out at MWO just waiting for things to get better on their own. You have made some changes, and they are working.

Betty, congrats on those 30 days. How much have you learned so far about your reasons for drinking to excess? You don't need to answer this, but you do need to look deep down inside in order to avoid a back-slide. It took me a long time to realize that I had forgotten how to relax without alcohol.

Cyclefan, I enjoy crafts in winter: knitting, quilting, I made a cute valance for my kitchen window this winter. Gardening season is quickly approaching, so I will soon need to put it all away, but if I can halp you figure something out, I would enjoy it.

Eve, great story about leaving that glass of wine behind. Most of us here would have downed it in a gulp, not too long ago.

Kid, did you decide how many days? My thought is to pick whatever minimum, but try not to drink when that exact number is up. Keep yourself off a drinking schedule, and adopt a real life schedule. If you keep some kind of journal of you feelings after varying numbers of days, you will answer your own question.

Enjoy the day!

[Sweaty Betty]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Hi All

It's going to take me a while to get everyone - so apologies if I miss you!

Kid- Yes, I think this is a dangerous time for me. I did think of getting a small bottle of champagne to 'celebrate' but then realised how ridiculous that was !! I'm going to stick to not drinking at home for now, and just be cautious and observe how I'm feeling.

Sunbeam - I was talking with my Husband last night, and we were both agreed that boredom had a huge amount to play in my drinking, also low self-esteem and depression, but that's a bit of a chicken and egg situation. My 'Ah ha' moment came when I was moaning about my lot in life, and a very clever friend asked me 'if you could wave a magic wand and change your life, what would it be like?' The truth was it wouldn't be much different. ANd the things I wanted to change were completely in my power. So here I am. Changing.

Last Call - thanks for the wishes!

Hi Lila, J-vo, Delta, Deebs and Cycle.

Am off into the real world to do 'stuff that needs doing!'

Bxx

[Ask For Help]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

On the lightness of being

j-vo;568367 wrote:
I'm doing a program currently in which I'm working on changing negative thought patterns. We've got to first believe in ourselves and how good we are and let the rest of the shit go! It's very freeing.

Hi all and thanks for your support. I think J-vo has hit upon the idea . .. I think many of us, or let me speak for myself: I know I hold myself to a very high standard and although I've been aware I use guilt and negative self talk, I've been afraid that if I "eased up" on myself what would I become?

So although I've said here "who knew not feeling guilty was a choice? that you could just stop?" in fact, I've known for a long time, at a deeper level, that I COULD choose not to drive myself with guilt and negativity. .. but I was afraid to let it go. It was safe, and I attributed at least some of my high achievement to these inner drives.

So choosing to "give up the guilt" around drinking led to giving up the guilt, or put more positively, focussing on my strenths or goodness in other parts of my life. I am an excellent friend. I am a good mother. I give good meeting (lol). I am someone you'd want working for you etc. And the result is I wake up each morning with a clean slate not with the thought "did I do anything wrong yesterday?". I start out each day at the "I am good" place instead. Writing this sounds infantile, but it's a profound difference, really.

And that difference contributes to my sense of well being and happiness. Lightness.
That ( and Olay Regenerist) has me looking younger too (lol).

Best to all.

Ask

[Kid Shelleen]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Well put...

And not infantile at all.
You're in a great place.
May Peace continue to be with you,
~Kid~

Ask For Help;568720 wrote:

...Writing this sounds infantile, but it's a profound difference, really.

And that difference contributes to my sense of well being and happiness. Lightness...
Best to all.

Ask

[Kid Shelleen]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

This doesn't sound shady...

Last night I received a voicemail from a friend in a neighboring state
who wants me to come down to his farm and help with something...
It seems a couple of his cows have been missing for a while
and have now been spotted here and there in the woods and fields by other ranchers...
who apparentl think he should PAY them for the cows grazing and feeding on their land.
I'm to bring my rifle(?) and camping gear, if interested,
and be prepared to stay a few days as the animals have apparently undomesticated themselves.
He'll give me one of the cows (that should fill my freezer)
if we are successful.
I don't know what the wireless situation is down there but I'll take the laptop just in case...
I'm going to get in touch with him today; so if you don't hear from me for a few days (or a while...or EVER) that's what I'm up to..
Tracking a wayward steer :H (OMG!!!)
~Kid~

[j-vo]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Hi everyone,
Ask, you are in a great place now. That's what I'm striving for, but as I'm learning, I need not try too hard. For me, my negative thoughts (automatic negative thoughts - ANTS) have been driving me towards negative behaviors for a long, long time. It's going to require daily work that this program suggests to stop these ANTS and move towards accepting me as I really am, not the "lost" me. It takes a lot of work to wipe out thoughts that have come on a daily basis, but with the continuous, gentle work, I think I can make progress, as anyone can. Those ANTS can sneak up on you at anytime, even when you think they've shrunk or have gone away completely, so we have to recognize the bitches and put them in their place! I think I've felt progress even though it's only been approx. three weeks of using the program. It's a proram that requires a good 5 months, but I think it's worth it since my low self-esteem and undesired behaviors have been around for 20+ years.

Kid, good luck cow-hunting!

Have a great day everyone.

[Sunbeam]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Wow, another 24 hour lapse. Everybody is busy, and Kid is out wrangling steer.

I finally have an evening at home, I have been out every night this week. I will probably go for a quick walk around the block, read my murder/mystery. My husband and I have been working our way through the alphabet murders series by Sue Grafton.

take care, all!

[Sweaty Betty]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Morning all.

Last night was my first planned mod night. I had two 125 ml glasses of wine. I enjoyed the wine, but not how it made me feel. I felt quite sick in the car on the way home, and woke up with a big hangover. Hmmm. It's a strange situation for me to be in. Will ponder and get back to you all over the weekend, Sunday is the "BIG" social occasion with freeflow champagne. I was really looking forward to it, but now I'm a lot more apprehensive.

I don't eat meat, but will be interested to hear how the cow catching goes.

Have a fab Friday 13th.

B.x

[j-vo]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Happy Friday everyone,
Sunbeam - yes, I'm feeling like my "real" self. My "true" self. I think when we are caught up in that awful mess that drinking brings on, we can't see the goodness in ourselves, nor what life has to offer. When our mind clears, our bodies "dry out" then it becomes clear as to who we are and what we want. I've been really focusing on myself and improving not just the drinking "me" but I've been taking care of whole self. Yes, I have the time now that I'm not working, but it's giving me a good chance to reflect on myself and my needs. Hopefully when I go back to work, I'll have several months in which I've taken care of myself and can learn how to incorporate 8 hours of work a day along with taking care of me.

Betty, tolerance defintely decreases when we haven't drunk for as long as you have. You're right though. Look at how much you drank, the time frame in which you drank, what you ate, and reevaluate. Our bodies change quickly and it's a shock when we reintroduce AL into it. Sometimes it takes us off guard. I'm trying to follow Sunbeam's Style, which is not moderate drinking, but occasional drinks, not scheduled. I think this plan may work for me, because when I had a schedule, I'd look forward to that date on the calendar, such as every Sat. and I became obsessed with it. I'm lucky in that I'm at a time in my life where drinking with folks I'm around is not the norm, nor is bingeing for that matter. I don't keep AL in the house, because that's a dangerous thing to do for me.

Well, another weekend of classes begins tonight. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Delta Moon]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

G'day all!
Betty- After being AF drinking does lose most of its appeal. It's over-rated to begin with!:H
Your tolerance has diminished and your body will tell you what level of modding you will
be comfortable with. Learning to mod is a process that will include times you feel you may have gone over your comfortable limit. Once you have established what that is for you your successes will far out weigh your slips. Then you can set up your PLAN and get thru the special free-flowing champagne events. The other thing to consider is the possibility that modding is not an option for you. You will discover the answer as you
explore modding. I pray you have a good experience at the special event. Stay clear-minded and drink water/tea/etc. between. I like your plan of not having your glass "topped off" so you will be able to have an accurate assessment of your intake.
That is one I will use in the future too.

Kid- what an adventure! You have to let us know how wrangling was.

j-vo,Eve,Sun, Ask,Deebs and all the rest who are reading but not posting- love you all and have a sober and beautiful weekend!

I'm off to No. California to work on the parent's farm for a week and help them get caught up. Won't have much 'puter access
but I will be thinking of you all.

Oh! Happy ST. Paddys Tuesday!

[Sunbeam]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Betty/Delta Moon/ J-vo,
I strongly agree with everything already said. I recently read a couple of other posts from people who drank - not too much - after an AF stint, and felt hung over. I don't remember feeling that way myself after my first occasion with alcohol, but I do remember having 3 glasses, then quickly going into a drinking schedule. It took over 6 months for me to come to terms with myself, and work my way back down to where I am now. I wish I had someone to guide me sooner, but at the time the moderate drinkers who posted seemed to be on a schedule. If they weren't, they didn't say so. No one advocated for occasional drinking. So Betty, if you can avoid a schedule now, you might save some anguish later. I always feel better when I am AF. So we are back to the first point - drinking is over-rated, I think. I am so thrilled to have all of your company.

[Sunbeam]

The Mod Squad Weekly Thread for the Week of March 9, 2009

Boy, it's quiet on the mods front. I just started a separate thread for anyone interested in posting separately about "Sunbeam Style" drinking. I still plan to post with the Mod Squad group, but thought it would be good to also have a separate thread running for me to advocate for my thing.