As a nurse in a trauma hospital will I refer the alcoholic with a diseased liver or pancreas to MWO? Definitely not. But will I refer the mom who hasn’t experienced DT’s while hospitalized but admits that she binge drinks too much? Yes, it’s possible MWO could be a program for her.
Some people can drink and they never have a problem their entire life with it. Some become “problem drinkers” and with realization of their problem, hard work and a lot of effort can learn how to moderate their drinking so it no longer causes a problem for them in their lives. Unfortunately the majority of people with drinking problems can probably never moderate. The old saying “One is too many and a thousand aren’t enough” is the motto that applies to them.
So how do we make a board work for folks where some are learning to moderate and encourage each other while remaining sensitive to the struggles and feelings of those who will never be able to drink in a controlled fashion?
Someone shared with me not long ago that an alcohol recovery site should be free of messages that glorify and promote the use of alcohol. It’s a valid point. But we have to remember that we have 2 very different alcohol recovery sites going on at MWO. A site for those who hope to never drink again and a site for those who are learning to drink moderately and enjoy sharing their success stories, and yes, possibly sounding like they are glorifying alcohol because it isn’t as much a problem to them as it is to someone who should remain alcohol free. As RJ (the creator of this site) says herself “I invite you to join us on this exciting journey, whether you choose to quit drinking completely or moderate your consumption--it's all up to you.”
Let us not forget that this was a site initially set up to help people consider moderation as a solution to their problem drinking.
As moderators with our own moderating sites entitled “monthly moderation” and “long term moderators” are we then responsible for folks who read our posts and make bad choices for themselves? They are after all the authors of their own stories. We can’t be responsible for everyone.
I personally will remain sensitive to the real struggles of those trying to recover and will be very conscientious of what I post and where. I will try to be loving and understanding in my posts with others, even with those that I disagree with. We all have struggles in our lives. This is supposed to be a site where we come for hope and support, not a site where we argue and bicker with each other to the point that the negativity affects our lives. When we’re negative with each other it makes us feel bad. Those bad feelings can flow through us to our families to our intuitive children, even to our pets! So, we need to get rid of the negativity with the battle of AF vs modding.
But at the same time I will defend my moderator board to the hilt as this site “the long term moderator board” was created for those who have chosen moderating as an alternative to their problem and we shouldn’t have to feel like we are “walking on eggshells” so as to not upset the recovery of someone who can never mod or where drinking would be life threatening for them. If drinking were life threatening to them then they should not be coming to the long term moderator board.
My plan. If someone is offended by what I’ve posted on my “safe” modding board, feeling that I am not supporting those with severe alcohol problems then I will politely tell them “I hope we can agree to disagree” and that will be ALL I post. No bickering, no fighting, no waste of my time, no negative energy.
We’re all the authors of our own books and I choose to not let this constant bickering ruin my day, make me leave MWO or wreck the ending of my happy story!
Peace be with you.
Eve11
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