Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Good Morning, Ladies!!

Morning Eve,
Up early, got the BHHG (Braceless-honey-haired-girl) her warm breakfast(it's 36 degrees here in the midwest after a stretch of tropical spring weather)
and now I'm helping ED and his strange friends for 4 hours or so.

Cat, BHHG, and I saw "Sunshine Cleaning" (the movie) yesterday afternoon (very good movie) and then stopped by the coffeeshop after.
Where I used to like a drink;
I had a "Hammerhead"(2 shots of espresso in a cup of coffee) and WHOA!!! Mr Talkative!!
I definitely like the effective more than the lethergy injection of AL.
Replace destructive habits.

The "occasional drinking" seems to be off to a good start, as Sara pointed out (thanks for noticing).
I've got stretches of AF planned with 1-2 drinks each Tuesday when Cat and I go out for a sandwich,
a drink and some dancing.
We'll see; but it feels right.

Nancy: It's getting near mid-week.Gotta plan??
Delta:Keep rockin'
Sunbeam: Back on track? It doesn't take much to remind us, does it?
And we used to drink SO much more with out thinking...amazing.
All the "moms": You all sound great.
Appreciating what we have
instead of being so self centered
and then getting off of that guilt roller coaster are two of the great benefits of getting sober.
Have a great day everyone!!!
~Kid~

[vlad]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Afternoon Kid!

[Sweaty Betty]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Hi All - I haven't caught up but everyone sounds good? Have just back from a lovely trip visiting with a friend - no husband or kids - bliss! I did miss them though and was ready to come back. I moderated really well, 2 drinks per evening max - and I didn't drink all of the second ones. My friend cooks really well and has inspired me to get back into the kitchen - it's so much easier to cook AF once
you get over the 'habit' of cooking with an open bottle of wine to hand.

I feel good. I feel good even though I FAILED an assignment - I've never failed anything. My first thought was to reach for the Gin - but I stopped myself, looked at where I went wrong and moved on. Hurray!

Will try and catch up at the weekend, but nice to see you back Sara!

Bxx

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Thanks Betty. Nice to be back. Good for you for sticking to two. Two seems like a good number to me. One feels restricting enough to make me obsess about wanting more. Three has a negative effect on my mood, unless they're really spread out across an evening, but that's never really been my M.O. :H I remember when I was pregnant, my doctor told me it would be fine to have one glass of wine now and then, after the first trimester. I thought, "one glass? what's the point? It will only leave me wanting more." So I didn't drink at all.

I think I'll make a plan to stick to two a day on our vacation week. Moderately sized glasses. I would really feel good if I could do that. I don't want a vacation to turn into an excuse to binge. I want to enjoy the time with my family, the sun in the sky and the ocean waves. Hangovers would ruin all that.

Afternoon Vlad, and 'mornin' Kid. Hi to everyone else.

I'm on day four AF here, and feeling good. Nancy, I may be struggling by your side, because after four days I usually start thinking, "hmmm....maybe it's time for a drink". Let's get through the week! I've come to realize that in spite of all the strategies I've learned for getting through cravings, sometimes I just have to white knuckle it. At SMART there were a lot of references to the A.V. (Addictive Voice) that speaks to us all at times. I found that a useful concept. It personifies that part of my mind that is conniving and convincing about how "it's okay to drink", even when I've told myself I'm not going to. Sounds like your A.V. likes to try and seduce you mid-week. Mine sees his opening (I think of it as male, not really sure why...have to check with my therapist on that one! LOL) after I've had a 3-4 day AF streak. Let's both recognize those SOBs and tell them to shut the F up!! (Pardon the language from your friend the tender-hearted mommy, but I find I have to get rough with my A.V.)

Okay, yesterday I cleaned the first floor, today it's upstairs. Cleaning the house is like cleansing my soul....And I only do it with gusto when I'm not drinking. Woo-Hoo!
Sara

[nancy]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Hi all,

I think what i have is a once a week binge cycle. It used to be on weekends and it got shifted to mid-week. My therapist says I am keeping a lid on it, controlling but that the cravings are there and like a ladder. So Eve, what do you do in those free-flowing booze events? It's like putting a kid in a candy shop. I think I need to just have nothing, even if it takes white knuckling.

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Hi all,
Wow, everyone sounds so chipper and great! It's winter again here in the NE US. Brrr! Whatever happened to April showers?

Sara - beautiful post about your son. I think we can all connect with what you said. It is amazing how the time goes so fast. One thing I want to resume doing is taking video of my son. I have so much of when he was little and nothing the past few years. I MUST get on the ball.

Hi Lila - That's what we need to learn how to do. Get through those hard times because no matter what, these bumps in the road will be there. You can do it. You're a strong and caring person.

Kid - yes I am peaceful and clear. The trick is keeping that feeling for as long as possible. Using our tools and distraction when the beast is talking to us. As Sara said, our Addictive Voice. I've got many freakin' voices in my damn head - the AL Beast, the Anxiety Beast, and the Nicotine Beast. They're an army of bitches!

Nancy - I've been meditating for a little over a month. It's really just "deep breathing" for me. I breathe in through my nose and think to myself I'm breathing in the good oxygen, the good thoughts, and breathe out of my mouth the bad thoughts and bad oxygen. Then I go to each body part in my mind and make sure the muscles are relaxed. I think it's helping to create some peace in my mind.
Oh, find a distraction for your mid-week Beast. How about putting a "0" on the drinktracker that morning so you're locked into an AL day?

Sun, I know you're going through a rough time of it, but despite that, you are so positive and strong. You're already back on track. I think we can get back on the wagon much quicker than we used to be able to.

Betty, congrats on modding. You sound great!

Everyone else - happy Tuesday. Have a great day.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

hi everyone
Lena, just watched the Kodak commercial - my camera is broken, I think I will splurge on a camera, maybe today. I haven't been taking pictures in awhile, and I will be sorry later.
Sunbeam, how are you doing today?
Eve and Nancy, I know what you mean, I mean, after all it's free! I have no advice, since I don't go to social things that often. I guess I am also so afraid of drinking and driving, the fear keeps me in line.
Sara, thanks for sharing that. I was AF last night, I seem to be doing more and more AF nights, I spend more time with my kids and before I know it, I am ready for bed. That's what's working right now.
Oh, J-vo and Nancy, I am just not ready to meditate, maybe soon, people keep talking about it.
hi and happy Tues to everyone - Kid, Vlad, Betty, Delta, and anyone else that I can't see on 'advanced' -
will check back later!
Lila

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Hi everyone,
Gee, I thought you might take my Modder of the Year award after last weekend. Thanks for all your support here. Now you all know that I am just as vulnerable as everyone else.

My doggie is hanging on. She had learned not to eat four kinds of dog food,because they made her not feel good, I suppose. But now there are two canned foods that my husband alternately feeds her, and she has been eating about a can per day. I bought one of those pill boxes with four compartments per day, so he could keep track of all her meds. She seems to be comfortable most of the time, so there still is some quality of life there.

Nancy, I agree that some form of meditation is necessary to change that thinking, "I gotta have a drink". I have used a mantra prayer for this purpose. One that is used in the catholic church is:

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the earth, have mercy on me (repeat 3 times) then
Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, grant me peace.

I imagine you need to be a person of faith for this to work.

Many People say good things about the CD's sold here. I haven't used them.

I came down with a cold yesterday, so I'm not feeling great. People are coming to visit this weekend, and I have cleaning to do. A great lady in my church passed away this morning. I'm dealing with all of this OK, I think I will go lie down on the sofa now with my old dog.

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Modder of the Year...

Sunbeam,
You are STILL our "Modder of the Year"; even more so now.
You are the perfect example of enjoying the occasional drink;
and now you are the perfect Modder example
of why we must still be vigilant.
The trophy is still yours girl!
We enjoy your presence and respect your input.
Thanks for your honesty,your sharing and your remaining with us.
~Kid~

When my last dog got old and ill, I had to cook rice and a little bit of chicken for him every day. They said he would die soon, but he got so strong that we went back to canned food and he lived another very happy year before falling over dead one day.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Well put, Kid. You can have the "male modder of the year" award. (Where did dear Zed go, by the way?) I know you don't have much competition for that title on this thread, but as far as I know you haven't "over done it" in a long time. Right?

I'm happily moving along, on day 4 AF. The next challenge will be this weekend when my sister comes to visit with her kids. She and I have shared wine together for years. But she does know all about my "issues" , so I am gearing myself up to tell her I'm not drinking this weekend. At least I think I am. I'm really pleased with how I feel, what I'm accomplishing, how I'm relating to my kids...I don't want to toss that aside just to be companionable and drink with my sis.

Love to all, and see you tomorrow.
Sara

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Appreciate your honesty!

Sunbeam;587754 wrote:
Yikes! I drank too much yesterday. What a stark reminder of what used to be common in my life, that foggy feeling in the evening, not feeling too great the next day.

Sunbeam,

I wanted to thank you for your honest post. It may have been hard to post that as most folks are lovingly envious of your "Sunbeam style" and drinking moderately on occasion so I'm sure it was hard to admit you're fallible...and I appreciate that.

You have still been checking in regularly but the unfortunate stressors and the "stinkin thinkin" pulled you down that old path.

I for one have always been concerned with the folks who feel they're moderating well and think they don't need the support here anymore. More power to those that can but I personally think the support is needed life long like always going to A.A. Just my 2 cents but with my own experience of AF for 7 years with the support of A.A. and then thinking I didn't need it anymore...well, it took less than a year before I was back drinking in full force.

Anyway, I know you're back on track friend. *See* you soon!
Hugs, :l:l
Eve11

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

It's not about will power, it's about want power!

nancy;588140 wrote:
So Eve, what do you do in those free-flowing booze events?

Nancy,

My hubby had the same thought as you. He said recently that I should consider being AF at the free flowing things as it is hard.

However, I just don't quite like that thought so what I do is visualize how I want the night to be. I visualize myself in control, not being drunk, embarrassing or slurring my words.

I remind myself that self control is a mental muscle and just as working out can strengthen our muscles I believe visualization and positive self talk can strengthen our mental muscle!

So I visualize and then make a plan or a pact with Kid & the gang on the amount of drinks that I will NOT go over.

My main trick is to NOT start drinking right away. I start the event being AF and then enjoy my first drink which I sip v-e-r-y slowly. I put my drink completely down many times and actually walk away from it (in safe environments where I know everyone). Have to be cautious walking away from your drink this day and age. But if you're in a situation where you can do that, it does help to drink much more slowly. I go non-AL in between drinks if it's a long event.

This motto was recently shared with me and I'll be using it every time I choose to drink moderately.

"It's not about will power, it's about want power!"

Hope that helps.
Hugs,:l
Eve11

[Kid Shelleen]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

I agree...

Eve11;588626 wrote:
I for one have always been concerned with the folks who feel they're moderating well and think they don't need the support here anymore. More power to those that can but I personally think the support is needed life long like always going to A.A. Just my 2 cents but with my own experience of AF for 7 years with the support of A.A. and then thinking I didn't need it anymore...well, it took less than a year before I was back drinking in full force.
Eve11

Even if a person has benefited enough to be able to walk away
(and people sometimes DO have good reasons to leave),
I agree with Eve and think it's good to at least keep a small connection.

For one thing; the group or SOMEONE in it has helped us as individuals
and it only seems fair to "give back"
and help someone else coming through.
Secondly: We never know when we might stumble and need to come back ourselves.
It's good to have not burned the bridge;
it makes coming back easier.
It also doesn't seem as selfish; that we only come back when WE need support, but aren't here to support others...
That's why we possibly should consider a long term relationship with this forum; yes?
And that's why Sunbeam, again,
is Modder of the year
and such a good example to us.

She is doing very well with her "occasional drinking" style of Modding, but kept checking in to support the rest of us.
Now, with that door still open, she needs our support; and here we are!
What a great family!!

Kid's morning two cents!:H
Have a great one, everybody!!
~Kid~

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

I agree with Eve and Kid. I think this is a life-long commitment. I know when I stop encouraging or supporting, then something's going wrong in my life. I may be going down the wrong road. So we need to come here while we're down as well as up. When I stopped coming here, it was because I started drinking over what I felt was acceptable. I felt guilty, down on myself, and I was hiding. If we hide, we're running from our problems. We've all had drinking problems that require constant vigilance. Let's be vigilant together and conquer that freakin' beast together. Power comes in numbers.

That being said, I'm beginning to formulate my plan when my sister and kids come to visit on Friday for Easter weekend. My sister's a drinker as well. I will journal my plan right now. My goal is no more than three Friday, and for the longer day Sat. no more than 4 (the span will be long). None Sun.

Have a great day all.

[nancy]

Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

Hi all

After 4 AF days, it's the middle of the week and I need to get through it. I tried to get into the drink tracker but I can't get in with my message board login.

I am going trying for at least one AF week but preferably two. I figure I will do some meditation and maybe hypno tonight. I have been taking a supplement that includes LGlut and am not sure if that helps.

Any tips are appreciated! Thanks for the advice Eve, I will use that on nights that are safer.

Nancy