The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

[Delta Moon]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

3 a.m. and can't sleep..........

ooh Deebs- I am coveting your long hair! I am working my way down my back but it takes forever.

Hi lenaleed! Long time glad you're back.

C.U. all tomorrow-really today cause its so early!:H

[Sunbeam]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Hi all,
Lenaleed, nice to see you post. I hope you are doing well with your alcohol recovery program.

I've got a very busy weekend - rehearsal all afternoon today, charity dinner tonight, performance of my large choral group tomorrow afternoon after church in the a.m. I hope to keep this weekend AF. Maybe I will put in a couple of tomato plants this morning, protected by a mini-greenhouse water-filled item called Wall of Water. Without protection here, it is best to wait until the end of May to plant tomatoes.

[DeeBee]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Wow Sun, your weekend sounds hectic.
I'm just back from the hairdresser -- yip, decided to chop the whole lot off :-D

YoooooHooooo, where is everyone???
Check in Squad!!!

[j-vo]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Morning modders,
Hope everyone is having a great weekend. Well, I've been reading Doggygirl's thread starting last night. I went to bed thinking about her and the amazing transformation from last May, staying away from AL, living a new lifestyle with good eating habits, and getting her hormones balanced. What a freakin' inspirational thread. I woke up thinking about her. I'm just amazed, in awe, and inspired by her. I think it may be on my mind all day. She is such a wonderful role model for all of us, and what a lifestyle change can do. If you haven't read her thread, please do.

Have a great weekend!

[DeeBee]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

DM, don't know how I missed your post --- what are you doing awake at 3am?? Is everything okay?

My hair (and nails) grow real quick... my sister nearly had heart failure watching the hairdresser chop my hair before having it washed LOL it was a hoot!! I feel lighter, sexier and full of the joys of autumn now:-D

I too read DG's thread from beginning to end and often go back to it -- she inspires me to shake my toush!!

[Saint Jude]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

OMG! DeeBee how short did you cut your hair? (not sure what happened to the print here...)

I've worn mine long for so long, not sure what I'd do if I cut it.

Had a pretty good night @ work last night (for a "Monday"...) We had a tour bus that came in late, but it went pretty smooth,
considering the communication gap, they were all from Germany & spoke very little English.(my German is very minimal, but I know a few words...Donka, Bitta, Gutten Appetite...obviously not the spelling) Reminded me of when I worked @ the Grande Canyon years ago.

Went out & had a beer after work. One was enough. Saw some guy pass out & hit his head on a hardwood floor @ the bar.
Kind of took away my thirst!

Rainy day here.

Guess I'll get off my a$$ & do some elipticling.
Hope everybody's having a great weekend!
:lJudie

[Sarasmiles]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Hey Gang!
Brave girl, DeeBee, getting a radical haircut! I'm glad you like it. You sound great!

JV-O, I saw you'd been a bit depressed...Feeling better?

Delta Moon, we could have chatted at 3am...I was up, too. I had a really unpleasant "I must be an alcoholic" craving last night. I was going to be AF, but the craving hit at around 5 and I asked Hubby to pick up a bottle of wine on his way home at 7. I almost broke out the hard stuff before he got home with wine, I wanted it so badly. Freaky. Thank God I waited, and then I just had 2 glasses, but they were pretty big. Even if it's only two glasses, it isn't "modding" if I drink like that. It's the compulsion that feels all wrong. Then I argued with Hubby (which is to say, I told him I was upset about something he'd said to our 10 year old, and he proceeded to shut down for the rest of the evening, while I became increasingly anxious and depressed.) Yuck! Sometimes it's hard to know which comes first, the irritability or the drinking. I finally took a Klonopin to get to sleep, but slept fitfully. I couldn't even sleep in the same bed with my husband, I felt so hurt and angry that he wouldn't talk with me about our disagreement. It has infuriated me for so many years...He acts as though it's just such a chore to process any feelings. And I have to process them, or I feel as though I'll explode...My heart races, my breath gets short...It's not that I want to spend hours on exploring every detail of a disagreement, I just want to have a good healthy little fight and then make up.

Anyway, today I felt really down. Tomorrow is our 12th anniversary. I don't feel celebratory. Celibate, perhaps, but not celebratory!:H

I have been AF tonight, and I didn't even want a drink. I know my spirits will be better tomorrow.

Hi Lenaleed, and everyone else I haven't responded to directly.

I'm thinking of going to church tomorrow, for the first time in years. I just feel the need for some peace and inspiration, and thought I might find it there.

Best to all,
Sara

[DeeBee]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Wakey wakey, rise and shine sleepy heads!!

It is a BEAUTIFULLLL day today, the sun is shining, the bees are buzzing and the birds are chirping.

I am loving my new haircut, as I walk I now "flick" LOL. It is short, just on my shoulders, but it looks kinda spunky and oh so sexy I tell you.

Judie, I was so tired of always wearing it in a pony or a plait and I've been thinking about this for a while now. I have had long hair for the last 15 years and it's such fun now to have it a bit shorter, I can do a bit more with it I think.
Pray tell, what does "elipticling" mean?
OMG, I just googled it and your post came up!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Sara, my heart aches for you. For many years I could not get DH to open up to me. It has only been in the last 5 years that things have got better. I remember all too well how it made me feel when he shut me out and I always thought the message was that I was worth-less. Lack of comunication is the worst because we then ASSUME what the other one feels.
What eventually helped DH and I is that I realised that his lack of comminication is NOT my issue... he had issues that he needed to deal with (one of them was my drinking).
Out of desperation I bought a book called "Break the Silence Barrier" by Margaret Fourie and it really helped to give me the tools to open up to DH without antagonising him or causing him to back away. Feel free to PM me anytime, k!!

Happy Anniversary to you and Mr Sara!! How many years is it today? Put yesterday behind you and have a wonderful day together.

ARRRRGHHHHH!!!
I am fed up!! Just typed out a wonderfully long post and lost my connection and I hit "post" and it's all gone.

So, just know that I am thinking of you all.

Have a great Sunday.
Love and Hugs

[Sarasmiles]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Thank you DeeBee! I'm feeling better today, although I confess I had a glass of wine with a late lunch at 2:00. I don't know...Maybe my week of daily drinking in Florida has set me back... It seems like I am having more cravings.

Which supps do you modders think really work? I haven't narrowed it down, and kind of hate to take a huge range of things. In my desk drawer I now have the MWO amino complete caps, (since I got sick of taking All One) and L-Glut, magnesium, Evening Primrose oil, B-complex, a multi-vitamin, and St. John's Wort, which I've never tried for more than a day or two. Any suggestions on which, if any, might help? I'm out of Kudzu, and debating whether or not to order more.

DeeBee, I will definitely look for the book you mentioned, so thanks. Hubby is back to normal, which is what typically happens...He gets over it, and I'm left feeling that we never really resolved anything, and I never got to say how I felt.

I think we'll go out tonight (with the kids, since I couldn't find a babysitter) for an anniversary dinner. Of course I'll want to drink wine...I'll stick to two glasses, then try to be AF for a few days. I know it's not smart to say "I'll try"...It sounds like I'm leaving the door open. But I'd be lying if I committed to it. My "cravings" have been so strong. But you know me, I don't really binge...When I drink, it's kind of low-grade, depression inducing 2-4 drinks kind of drinking. I can commit to no more than 2, but AF would be better for me, huh?

I'm babbling. Sorry.

[Sprockets]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

This is one of the MOST interesting threads

You Mod Squadders are very interesting.I wish to join you after awhile.
Sprockets

[cyclefan]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Hi Sprockets

Nice to see you posting here, we have some new folks just recently it is nice to have others join in. Don't be shy about speaking up or asking questions if you have any. Someone will be able to either point you to an existing thread or chime in with some helpful advice. Welcome.

[Sarasmiles]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

Well, I'm hanging my head this morning...Tempted to edit my snotty little self-righteous remark about how I don't really binge. I think I had 6 drinks yesterday...One at lunch, five between 5 and 8. I didn't drive, stumble or do anything destructive, except to my body and spirit. At around 11pm, I had what I suppose was a mild panic attack...I was flooded with anxiety and guilt, and so disappointed in myself.

How many times will I "start fresh today"? Will I repeat this cycle for the rest of my life?

I will not drink today. Sara

[Eve11]

The mod Squad Weekly Thread: Week of April 27, 2009

We're here for you!

Sarasmiles;606730 wrote: Well, I'm hanging my head this morning...Tempted to edit my snotty little self-righteous remark about how I don't really binge.

How many times will I "start fresh today"? Will I repeat this cycle for the rest of my life?

Sara,

Remember this saying in moments like this.

You must have long range goals to keep you from being frustrated by short range failures.

?Charles Noble.

I think most of us... whether we're trying to mod or completely abstain stumble and fall.

Think about why things happened the way they did and try to learn from them. I have found that everytime I have gone over my desired limit I have not had supps that day.

Think about how and why you talked yourself into the 4th, 5th, 6th. Just evaluating what you did helps you figure out your triggers and maybe prevent that fall in the hole next time.

We're here for you always!
Eve11