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Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

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    #1

    Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

    Hiya Modders!

    ((Sun)) I hope your tummy has settled and you feel stronger today. No words of wisdom from me -- Just helping you up by the bra-straps.

    Sara - I wish we lived closer so we could meet for a cuppa coffee and have a good ole bitch session about men!! LOL I love my hubby dearly (most of the time) and yes, our relationship is strong but let me tell you that is hasn't always been like that. We were married for 10 years before my hubby voluntarily said "I Love You". I would always be the one to say it and he would reply with "ditto". About 5 years ago he told me he loves me and when I asked why now? He said that I wasn't my own person before now. On the whole I am content but there are also times... days even, where I am upset about something he's said or done and I just don't know how to deal with it. Sharing that here has always helped me.
    Please stay with us and keep posting -- you are very important to me and the whole squad.

    Last night I drank a glass of wine in anger! The daughter has upset me and made me so angry with something stupid she's done and I turned to AL.
    I know it's only one glass -- but my rule of checking HALT before pouring that one glass went straight out of the window.

    I know that those with teenagers (especially daughters) will understand how worrying and upsetting life can be around them most of the time.
    I do also know that I should be more compassionate and listen - really listen to her but I can't at the moment, I am just seeing red:upset:

    On a happier note -- tonight is my first NIA class -- ooooh I am super nervous of making a royal nana of myself:H and the daughter has asked if she can join me, so I'll report back in the morning.

    Have a great Monday everyone.

    HUGS!!
    "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"
    Tags: None
    #2
    Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

    Deebs...

    I hope you have a realy super fab time at the NIA class - cant wait to hear how it went.

    I dont have teenagers (or even children yet) but I have been one and I know they are a pain in the arse...the fact that you only had one glass shows much restraint my dear, well done to you for that. We sometimes dont get our own self imposed rules exactly right, but so long as no disasters nothing lost.

    I havent read the end of the other thread yet, so I cant comment on everyone elses stuff yet, but I will catch up soon.

    Happy bank hols to the brits and happy monday to everyone else.

    I have done a second bank hol AF since starting here and I am really pleased. That would NEVER EVER have happened pre MWO

    Heres to a good week.....Mooo
    "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
    but in what direction we are moving."

    Comment

      #3
      Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

      Hi Everyone,
      Deebs thanks for your kind thoughts. I think I was ready to learn this lesson: I really DO need to work on controlling my number of drinks. I have been happy that I have stopped at 3 recently, on the occasions when I do drink. But that complete memory loss thing was a scary reality check for me.

      Otherwise, it was very pleasant to have an extra day off for me (Memorial Day on this side of the pond). I took my sister out to lunch. My husband is with his sister, moving their uncle to an assisted living facility where my mother-in-law lives. So the uncle will be living in the same facility with his sister, near my sister-in-law. Anyone want a map of this??? The bottom line is, my husband will be away probably until Friday. And believe me, there will be no occasion for drinking.
      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

      Comment

        #4
        Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

        I drank too much yesterday afternoon on our patio. A whole bottle of wine, 5 on my Drink Tracker. For the first part I was with my husband sharing food and wine, but then I kept going.
        Sunbeam

        Sunbeam,

        I have always enjoyed your thoroughly honest posts. I overdrank this vacation week-end and posted on the ch-ch-changes thread.
        Will you read that thread and reply there as I continously struggle with this question and concern when modding.
        Mostly I can stop at the two but I have had a few occasions where I haven't either. Yet I
        want to believe I can mod but when I don't do it successfully I question whether I really can. Thus the title of the one thread "Is modding delusional?" that I posted a few months ago.
        Please all read the ch-ch-changes thread and share your thoughts.
        Love you guys.
        Sara love, I pm'd you. Keep posting here. We are the "mod squad" and we need to hang together.
        Hugs,
        Eve11
        "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

        ~Jack Welsh~:h

        God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

        Comment

          #5
          Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

          Hmmmm this is freaky -- I am the only one on-line!!!
          Off to yoga, I'll be back now now to catch up on the news.
          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

          Comment

            #6
            Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

            I have 2 'fives' on my drink tracker too. The MIL bought us a 24 pack of beer. I was actually quite impressed though, in the past I would have drunk at least 8, I remember one time drinking 13 in one evening.
            Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

            Comment

              #7
              Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

              So,
              whilst cleaning up the daughter's room I spotted her diary lying on the floor.... yip, I couldn't resist!!
              OMG!!
              We have been going through some tough times lately but didn't realize just how serious this is.
              She is talking about ending her life because I am intolerable to live with!
              And according to her diary she has experimented sexually WTF!!!!
              This all came about because this weekend I noticed some sores on her leg and when I investigated further found out that they are "smileys" - apparently kids heat up a lighter till it's super hot and then burn themselves to create this "smiley". I don't know why or what she was thinking but we ended up having a huge blow out yesterday.
              I just know that there is a girl she has been hanging with at school who is behind all of this.
              I am at my wits end and know that I can't cope with this on my own -- I need to speak to a professional about how to handle this.

              Sorry to vent, but I'm still a bit gob-smacked with how quickly my life has been turned upside down.
              "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

              Comment

                #8
                Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                Deebs :l:l:l
                I cannot imagine how you feel or what to say to advise...
                Just know that you are both in my prayers and if you want someone to talk to I am here....
                Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                Comment

                  #9
                  Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                  Oh Deebs,

                  Lord only knows how you must be feeling. How stressful. Thats desparate that a child would inflict harm on themselves in any way but that its probably some sort of thing to be part of something is terrifying.

                  She must also be under extreme pressure herself to engage in this sort of thing. I dont envie you the task of dealing with this one. There's is a bit of damned if you do and damned if you don't.

                  I am no expert, but it sounds to me to be very sensible to try and talk with a professional, maybe the school (but she wont forgive you for interfering, so thats hard). God...I guess there isnt much we can say to really help. But I feel for you 100% and am really pleased you are posting here as it MIGHT help you cope a little better....maybe...

                  Anyway ...good luck and lots of hugs Moooo
                  "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
                  but in what direction we are moving."

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                    Sun,

                    As time passes, I see more and more that modding as in two or three 2/3 times a week is the hardest thing in the world to get right all the time. One would just have to be aware of oneself all the flipping time. Frankly thatt would drive me mad in the end. I havent even bothered to try it (but admire those that do it and do it well).

                    I am much more with your thing about not drinking very often, being AF most of the time. And when drinking trying ones best to get it right. Maybe I am being to relaxed about things and you might completely disagree with me, but I find that by living this way and perhaps only drinking at all once or twice a month.....if it goes a little wrong sometimes, that is not as disasterous as it would be if you were drinking more often.

                    I dont mean that it is ever ok to be at a point you are not happy with, or where you feel ill the next day or have a memory blank....thats scary stuff and I know how hard I found it that one time it happened to me. But, I think if we are to try and "mod" there will be the odd margin of error. I have sort of accept that. There are very few areas of life where everything runs perfectly all of the time and the same can be said of this. I would prefer to be AF most of the time and get it right most of the time when I drink, but also accept that it wont always be perfect. If you feel otherwise, maybe modding is delusional. Its a tough one to call.

                    love Moo
                    "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
                    but in what direction we are moving."

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                      Sorry, i was so distressed to read Deebs distress that I didnt say hi to all of you!
                      Moo, Sun, Vladders and Evie, have a wonderful day!!!
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                        Thank you Starts and Moo! It keeps me sane being able to rant and rave and share with you here. I have been given great advice by Wip and have been in touch with a physiologist who specializes in teens so we'll see.

                        Sorry, I was also a bit rude just barging in there and not catching up with all the news properly.
                        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                          Vladster, I've been "lurking" at the MM website and some of their tools I find interesting.... might be worth a peek if you get a chance.
                          They also speak about a "bicycle" which is two nights AF in a row and a "tricycle" is three nights AF in a row. The aim is to have one tricycle a week.

                          I like your way of thinking Moo.

                          Judie, Sara, Ask, J-Vo, MM...... I'm thinking of you:-)
                          "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                            ((Deebs!)). What a scary discovery about your daughter's life and thoughts! I am glad you are seeking professional assistance. I believe suicidal thoughts may be very common in teens, they see everything as life, death and drama. But don't take my word for it.

                            Starts, it is always good when you stop by here. You are a great support for all sorts of us.

                            Moo, as I commented to Eve on another thread, think my over-indulgence this past weekend will be a learning experience. I also agree that going past limits will happen for all of us modders, some more often than others. Since I drink less often, there will be even fewer times for me that I go over. When I do go over, I am inclined to drink even less often. So my thoughts are similar to yours, but there really are no exact twins here, just people with lots in common. Another perspective is that even AF people don't always follow their AF plan, and they kick themselves even harder than I am kicking myself. So it is all part of the big picture here. No guarantees in life.

                            Here at home, it is exceedingly quiet. The cable went out a couple of hours ago. The construction guys went home early because it started to rain. My husband is away, and of course the dog is no longer here. I've been packing up as many things as possible, so they won't get covered with dust when the windows get replaced, hopefully this week. That includes all window treatments, and rolling up the rugs, covering everything with sheets. It feels a little hollow, but I've been enjoying a good book since I got home from work.
                            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Mod Squad Weekly Thread 25th May

                              Deebs:

                              I can so relate to the teen drama. I've found reading the diary is a mixed blessing, but I truly believe your gut tells you when its time. They rant, they rave, but we're the parents and its our job to keep them alive until their brains are developed well enough to make decisions that will keep themselves alive.

                              I'm so sorry to hear about her self burning: I wouldn't take the "it's because my mother is intolerable" part too seriously. .. but rather look for another cause. I've found my daughter's life is a veritable soap opera (she tells me less than 5%). She just wrote an essay for church in which she said she is highly influenced by people around her ("if I hung out with seven year old boys for a weekend I'd probably kick people in the shins if I was angry". . which was better than her first draft which said "If I hung out with a crack addict, I'm not saying I'd be an addict, but I might try it" OMG!)

                              I am actively seeking counseling for the two of us, since her disrespectfulness is intolerable- and I have to believe she is really suffering to speak and act so out of character. She criticizes that I can't chew right, say anything right etc etc. Having grown sons I know teens do grow out of this, but it's a painful time. Maybe we can create a support group from across the continents.

                              Off to supervise homework . .. .oh joy.

                              Ask

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