I'm a self employed farmer, male 45 years old, college educated, married no kids, just cats, border collie, cows, sheep. I can't believe it but I made 30 days.
It's been an amazing month for I haven't drank once.
or had to lie about my behavior.
Joined MWO many months ago, knew I was in trouble, lbut kept drinking,
always at night, behind my wife's back, 10-12 ounces of vodka every night.
Even when I promised her I quit, I could not and continued to drink.
Saw my doctor for a skin injury and blood preassure was so high he gave me
a prescription (Prescription warned against drinking while taking).
Doc said "I would be dead in 10 years with my BP if I did not bring them down.
Kept drinking for 6 months, through the holidays, winter time stumbling around, blackouts,
empty juice drinks hidden all over the house, barn, closets, truck.
Bought a blood preasure reading meter at walmart, my numbers we
still wicked high, 164/123. Went back doctor, told him AL was becoming a problem
( ha ha) in my life/marriage, he could not help me and sent me to a psycologist who happily took my co-pays, listened to my life story, caused me to have a nervous breakdown, recommended I get my butt into a rehab center.......I did not go to REHAB I quit going to the psycologist. Started going to a men's AA meeting for 3 months ashamedly.
Continued to drink my vodka hoping wife would not smell it on me. I got caught by her again for lying. Wife locked me out of the house. I was really high standing outside my house in the Rain whe a suitcase nearly hit me in the face. What did the neighbors think?
Found a cheap hotel, checked in andthen walked 3 miles in the rain to a grocery that sold vodka, walked back to hotel(I did not drive my car as I knew I was very high), mixed 3 strong cranberry cocktails in the bushes on the walk back to the no tell hotel. My last drink was upon waking up the next morning at 7am in this shit hole on the interstate (noisy). Had to finish that pint.
Went to my noon AA meeting that day, was crying after the meeting, met 3 or 4
decent guys that helped me put down the drink. Hours then
turned into days into weeks into a month. Now Day 33.
Those few guys are OK, though many others at AA are aggressive and want to know why I do not have a sponsor, tell me to buy the big book and start the steps now. One guy yesterday URGED me to go "start drinking again because I was not ready to quit".
WTF
He also said "if I did not totally dive in, 90 days in 90 days, higher power, sponsor, big book I should just start drinking again and see if that works better for me because I had not hit bottom yet". He also said my true sobriety date begins when I get a sponsor, not 33 days ago when I know I quit. I'm back in the house, not drinking, wife like the sober me. Although all the bad economy business shit that drove me to numb myself
every night with AL is still there. Rootbeer, chocolate and running 4 miles 3 times
a week are my new methods to feel better about my self.
This site is my sponsor! I choose not to drink today.
This community has helped me believe it is possible to stop drinking. I'm going skip my regular AA meetings for a while. I'm glad I'm at MWO. Thanks for listening. :new::thanks::thanks::thanks:
It's been an amazing month for I haven't drank once.
or had to lie about my behavior.
Joined MWO many months ago, knew I was in trouble, lbut kept drinking,
always at night, behind my wife's back, 10-12 ounces of vodka every night.
Even when I promised her I quit, I could not and continued to drink.
Saw my doctor for a skin injury and blood preassure was so high he gave me
a prescription (Prescription warned against drinking while taking).
Doc said "I would be dead in 10 years with my BP if I did not bring them down.
Kept drinking for 6 months, through the holidays, winter time stumbling around, blackouts,
empty juice drinks hidden all over the house, barn, closets, truck.
Bought a blood preasure reading meter at walmart, my numbers we
still wicked high, 164/123. Went back doctor, told him AL was becoming a problem
( ha ha) in my life/marriage, he could not help me and sent me to a psycologist who happily took my co-pays, listened to my life story, caused me to have a nervous breakdown, recommended I get my butt into a rehab center.......I did not go to REHAB I quit going to the psycologist. Started going to a men's AA meeting for 3 months ashamedly.
Continued to drink my vodka hoping wife would not smell it on me. I got caught by her again for lying. Wife locked me out of the house. I was really high standing outside my house in the Rain whe a suitcase nearly hit me in the face. What did the neighbors think?
Found a cheap hotel, checked in andthen walked 3 miles in the rain to a grocery that sold vodka, walked back to hotel(I did not drive my car as I knew I was very high), mixed 3 strong cranberry cocktails in the bushes on the walk back to the no tell hotel. My last drink was upon waking up the next morning at 7am in this shit hole on the interstate (noisy). Had to finish that pint.
Went to my noon AA meeting that day, was crying after the meeting, met 3 or 4
decent guys that helped me put down the drink. Hours then
turned into days into weeks into a month. Now Day 33.
Those few guys are OK, though many others at AA are aggressive and want to know why I do not have a sponsor, tell me to buy the big book and start the steps now. One guy yesterday URGED me to go "start drinking again because I was not ready to quit".
WTF
He also said "if I did not totally dive in, 90 days in 90 days, higher power, sponsor, big book I should just start drinking again and see if that works better for me because I had not hit bottom yet". He also said my true sobriety date begins when I get a sponsor, not 33 days ago when I know I quit. I'm back in the house, not drinking, wife like the sober me. Although all the bad economy business shit that drove me to numb myself
every night with AL is still there. Rootbeer, chocolate and running 4 miles 3 times
a week are my new methods to feel better about my self.
This site is my sponsor! I choose not to drink today.
This community has helped me believe it is possible to stop drinking. I'm going skip my regular AA meetings for a while. I'm glad I'm at MWO. Thanks for listening. :new::thanks::thanks::thanks:
wl:
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