My Moderate Meanderings!

[Sunbeam]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Mebill,
There are many who regret not going AF sooner, and few who regret that they gave up the drink. It is a very individual decision, and I wish you well in choosing your own way out.

[mebill]

My Moderate Meanderings!

The 30 days, AF sounds like a good start. I think I will make that my goal. Good to read all the posts here. I do believe we can all help one another.

Bill

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 3

Well that is Day 3 down!
Need to get another 6 under my belt before I've equalled my best try yet at AF!
BIG achievement tonight:

Hubby called my mobile as I was driving home this evening and asked me to pick him up some beer at drive-thru! Was nearly home, but said yes okay, as I knew he was out! Had a moment of trepidition..then went and bought the beer...glad to say no thought of buying anything for me!

I am actually enjoying the thought of putting $5 in my kitty at the end of the week..for spending money...money earnt by not wasting it on stuff that ends up down the toilet anyway!

Sipping lemon & water as I write this and feeling content at my progress, but determined not to be cocky or over confident this time. At times I feel a bit daunted by the thought of not having another drink for so many days....but then I also know how bad I feel each time I have more than I intend to! I hate feeling disappointed in me all the time.. I want to feel proud and strong and enjoy finding out who the person is who is starting to emerge from this alcohol addled fog!

mebill-how are you going today! Are you going to do the 30AF or have you another plan?

Well here goes for Round 4!
Chicken

[mebill]

My Moderate Meanderings!

I am doing well Chicken. I am going to do 30AF. Who knows, I might just keep on going. Hang in there, and I will do the same. I have been a year AF before, then a month AF, and recently 13 days. 30 days will be a good time to reflect on everything I think. I sure as heck am going to give it my all!

I have the same problem with my partner. He is always asking me to make him a drink, etc. Well, I've got bad news for him, "MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN DRINKS" ;~)

Bill

[DeeBee]

My Moderate Meanderings!

You can buy booze from a drive through!! OMG! Don't tell my hubby that!

[mebill]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Forgot to tell you Chicken, I'm just one day behind you. How are you doing? So far, it's great for me! Usually Thursdays - Sundays are when I did my drinking. For some reason, I already know that will not be a problem this week.

Have a great day everyone!

Bill

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 4 af:going strong and amped!

Hello to Me and anyone else who might be listening!

Well Day 4 was a long, busy day at work! Drove out to feed my horse after knock-off and passed by Bottle-shop with big "Bottle-Shop Open" sign near the road..smiled as I sailed by! Felt truelly angelic! *my halo tried to climb above my ankles atleast*

Fed horse, drove back passed bottle-shop and grinned again and then continued merrily home to see my girls and hubby..who ran to greet me with big hugs and kisses (what more could I ask for!)

Am sipping diet coke and have just has truelly blissful meal of homemade seafood pizza care of hubby! I am at peace with the world

Things I'm noticing: general level of energy has increased by atleast double; more patience and willingness to just play with my kids and listen to them;more willing to share a cuddle with hubby and a laugh or two; feeling bouncy in the mornings and ready to go!

Things I am watching: to not become over-confident! Not even allowing myself to think about or consider any steps beyond reaching that 30 day goal!!!!

mebill-yay for you and me then...we are doing great! I too have a hard time mainly from Wednesday (after work) through the weekend..so we are doing it tough at the same time!
Congrats on day 3, whose up for round 5? (or 4 for mebill?)

Chicken *clucks contentedly to self*

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 5AF:some random evil thoughts!

Hello!

Well today has been busy and had a few stray thoughts about a glass tonight, but do not want to have to deal with the disappointment...so NO to that!!!
Have done my exercises and been eating pretty healthy...so feeling positive and fairly strong still.
Work tomorrow and then a weekend coming up without hubby..that will be the true test!
Enjoying feeling like I'm not deliberatly trying to kill myself every other day with toxin overload..wonder how my poor old liver is feeling!
Drinking lots of lemon in water still,diet coke and green tea!
How goes it mebill?
Chicken

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 6: How shall I celebrate??

Hmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????

Right, when I make it to Day 7, aka tomorrow eve, I wish to give myself a wee pat on the back for being a clever girl! What can I do that doesn't involve alcohol or junk food?

Options are:

1. long soak in a bath...but unlikely as I have the kids home alone with me!
2.read a good book or chill out with a mag...but not 'special' enough!
3. watch a movie by self.....possible?
4.have an early night...likely!
5. gadzooks...what do I like to do with myself????:eeks:

obviously that is something I need to work on.

mean time I am almost at the end of day 6 AF. Feeling strong and determined!
Yay for me!
Chicken

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 7: survival!

Today I almost lost the plot/plan whatever!
At about 4pm this afternoon my mind turned to the bar and the bottle of mead that I know is already open in the fridge!
Two things stopped me from following my normal habit of fulfilling the inevitable.
The first was that I have been hanging out to reach this day as a mini-goal and to give myself a treat! I SO want to do this..and now will (as my babies are snug in bed as of 5 minutes ago!)
The second was not wanting to come back here or in the Nest and declare to myself and to my newfound friends or support team..that once more I had not met the challenge!

So, even though 30 days is still a far distant prize..I have atleast conquered one hurdle and almost made it through a weekend AF! The other achievment will be Monday,when I actually surpass my last attempt of 8 days AF!

Hubby shook his head at me the other day when he realised that I was actually on MWO and using a Drinktracker. He told me I didn't need it! But what he doesn't know are the inward/internal struggles I have with myself every night to just not have a drink for an evening, or to just have one and stop..like he can SO easily! Or the morning arguements I have with myself when I hate what I have become! If he could just read my mind..well then I think that he would be VERY afraid! Alot of my battle with this has happened within and he has not born witness to the agony I feel inside at times!
I think he would not know what to do or how to handle that much.....pure emotion, years of anger and other stuff that I have always hidden behind a tolerant smile! So he doesn't need to know just how 'bad' I can feel about the drink and what it is doing to me!
So I tell him, I think I need it..I want to do it...I need to do it! He can't understand and I don't beleive that I want him to...because then he would find the most vulnerable little girl in the world!

So he won't know just how proud I am of myself tonight..nor will my other loved ones, who do not suspect a thing!He will not see my dance an inward jig when I pass Day 8 and keep going! But I will see it and my friends here..and that is enough!!!

:h

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 8: Equal best!

Day 8 and I have equalled my best attemtp yet at AF..so am quietly pleased tonight!
Did my rewards last night and enjoyed the chance to spoil myself a bit.
Feeling good that tomrrow will be Day 9 and that I am still feeling strong. Cravings, if any, have been about 3/10,even at the b'day party today!
Must say I am eating more, but trying to keep it healthy on a whole.
But also very glad to get through a weekend unscathed by AL-not as hard as I thought! Hubby has been drinking beer today from about midday and although I had one thought of a drink I pushed it away quickly and got on with other things.
Getting heaps of my chores done these days so that I keep busy and away from the 'Bar'!
Tomorrow begins Week 2.
Chicken

[mebill]

My Moderate Meanderings!

That's great news Chicken :~)

I'm still hanging in there too. I am also getting a lot more done, as I am not bombed. It sure will be nice to go into work tomorrow morning without a hangover!

Bill

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Hi Mebill and thanks!!!
I am feeling pretty proud of self..but wary as well! The dreaded craving snuck up and tapped me on the shoulder again today and nearly persuaded me to have a drink,but I managed to withstand and move past it.It was hard though..lots of self-talk going on and two diet cokes drunk this arvo to distract.
But Day 9 is done and I am well and truelly into Week 2. How are you going? What day you on?Are you having cravings too? How are you coping with these?
See you for now
Chicken

[mebill]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Hi Chicken,

I am on day 8 now. I am doing very good. Yesterday, I didn't want to drink, but I did want "some kind of a buzz". I opted for a strong, iced, coffee with lots of sweetner and cream. It was really good, but YIKES did the caffine kick in. LOL! It's all good though seriously. Glorious Monday, completely not hungover!

Hang in there, a month is not so hard to make. I've done it before. You can too!

Bill

[ChickenNumber3]

My Moderate Meanderings!

Day 10: going strong today!

Well it's been a good day all up and no cravings at all, so feeling very strong and in control.
I am loving the extra energy I now have and really cannot believe how I used to drink and function when my 2 yr old wakes me up every two hours overnight while she is teething!
I must have been crazy..or just plain drunk!!!

Lots achieved today, the majority of which revolved around my two girls and I was glad to get in a few good quality hours with them both in different ways. Work tomorrow,so today was a real blessing in so many ways!

Am continuing to exercise and try to eat healthy, but am still a bit disapointed at how bloated and fat I still feel despite not drinking! Ho hum, guess I shall just keep plodding away at the helath-kick and hopefully my poor old body will remember how to loose weight again.

Mebill,the coffee is big with me at the moment too.. trying not to have too much,but I must say I am craving that caffeine buzz lately! Congrats on Day 8..here's to many more AF!

Big self-hug for me!!! and one for you too:l
Chicken:l