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    #151
    Mod Squad October Thread

    Deebee and Sunbeam, Once again thank you for your kind words and support. I am now nine days Al free. Yesterday was kind of a hard day. I kept thinking of social occasions and wondered if I could keep my friends and enjoy myself if I don't drink. I did not drink and today is much better. I don't see any problems with me wanting to drink in near future.

    Sunbeam,
    The book "beyond the influence" described very well how alcohol reacts in our systems but did not give how to stop without going through some type of program. "How to stop drinking" was common sense approach to quit by yourself. I value both books and recommend both be read.

    WIPII and EVE11,
    I joined the moderater thread a month ago because my goal was to cut down again. Sunbeam recommended I try 30 days Al free and I agreed with her. I then read "how to stop drinking" by Alan Carr. I am now commited to move forward being a non drinker. These last nine days have been very positive with only negative of fighting urges at times. Everything I have read on the subject and on MWO says that over time urges(the beast) decrease as long as we don't keep it alive with Al. That is direction I have chosen. I also now post on drink tracker. It am very proud of the nine daily zeros in a row I have posted. More to come!

    Comment

      #152
      Mod Squad October Thread

      changing again

      Hi,

      Yes, I agree - I don't want to complicate things even further

      Hopefully there's not already an agapanthus.
      :l

      Comment

        #153
        Mod Squad October Thread

        oops

        Sorry, I think I replied to the wrong thread.

        Anyway, congratulations on your nine days!

        Best,

        me

        Comment

          #154
          Mod Squad October Thread

          Quick Hi to everyone....

          Eve its really good to see you back posting lots again.

          WIP (WIP2) I am watching your name change with interest and whichever name you have its great to see you posting on the squad.

          DEEBS - I am sorry to hear you have more stresses with family illness, you sure have had a hell of a lot of stuff to cope with of late. Make sure you dont forget to take care of YOU x

          I havent been posting masses lately. Not too much to say really. Life is just life at present. Just the usual life like dramas, but no major problems. All is pretty good. I am just in a really good place with the modding at the moment. Its great. But, I take it as always ODAT. Its all any of as can do.
          "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
          but in what direction we are moving."

          Comment

            #155
            Mod Squad October Thread

            OMG! I've just realised that tomorrow is the end of Oct... where did the month go??!!

            Congrats on your Af-ness MG!! You have nearly achieved double figures

            I don't have too much to report from my side. A quiet night planned with hubby and brother. Some month end shopping planned for tomorrow. A Halloween party in the evening for which I'm not prepared and then Sunday is family time.

            Wishing everyone a great month end weekend.
            "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

            Comment

              #156
              Mod Squad October Thread

              Hey Dee & Moo.... I'm glad OctSober is OVER ... I'm gearing up for NOvember ..

              Hope you have a safe , fun Halloween weekend ! :l Em
              Non Drinker 9/09
              Non Smoker 6/09
              Tennis Anyone ?

              Comment

                #157
                Mod Squad October Thread

                Emmy;747525 wrote: OctSober... NOvember ..
                Love it!!!

                Eve11
                "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                ~Jack Welsh~:h

                God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                Comment

                  #158
                  Mod Squad October Thread

                  Hey Mod Squad,
                  I've been out of touch for a little while...just trying to get caught up. It looks like there's been lots of good support here at the squad for those who are struggling...Count me in (as supported and struggler both!)

                  I began to really doubt my plan of abstinence after a visit from my Mom 3 weeks ago. We comfortably shared a bottle of wine, and I felt it was normal and cheery. Of course that opened the door, and I have had several nights of drinking wine (usually 3 glasses) since then. The worst thing is that the preoccupation is back..."can I? will I? when?" Yesterday it came into my head as early as 3:00. I filled the afternoon with activities with the boys...Baking Halloween cookies, playing touch football and wiffle ball in the back yard, and then, as the sun went down, making a campfire in our fire pit. I was trying to be a good mom. I was a good mom. But in the back of my mind, the whole time, was "5:00...I'll have a glass of wine at 5:00". Then of course the fire was the perfect setting. Hubby was home early, so I didn't have to drink alone...He had a Manhattan and I had a glass of white wine. Then another, and another, and a fourth. Woke up at about 2 am, dry mouth and guilty conscience. Full of anxiety, and once again having to think, "maybe I can't drink moderately.

                  Tonight we have two Halloween parties to go to before trick or treating. I would so like to be able to have two glasses of wine. But what if the vampire emerges? I'll hate myself if I get buzzed when out with the kids. I have to work all day, and don't want to spend the day thinking about this. Ugh.

                  Okay...just joined by hubby, 3 kids and a dog. No time to work all this out. I'll check in later. Best to all. Sara
                  "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

                  Comment

                    #159
                    Mod Squad October Thread

                    Sara! I've been wondering how you are doing. We are here to support you. You already know my perception, which is only my perception.
                    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                    Comment

                      #160
                      Mod Squad October Thread

                      Hi Sara, nice to see you here and hello to all my fellow moders, I havent checked in for a while either.
                      Sara I think for me personally that it is the frequency that could be a possible down fall so I decided not to take a drink for two consecutive days no matter what the occasion. This leaves me with having to decide on one day or the other but I think that is helpful in keeping focused. I was a 7 day a week drinker and I think it is important to see triggers and patterns long before they become so again. BTW I love your tag line, it is so true but in my case I am a dad obviously.
                      Well today is 31st and I am very happy with my progress last month. I was AF for 30 of those days with a planned 2 drinks on the 14th. Plan now is to mod for 2 weeks and then reassess. I think reassessment will be a constant feature if I continue on the mod route.
                      Happy halloween guys.
                      Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

                      Comment

                        #161
                        Mod Squad October Thread

                        Happy Halloween Modders....

                        ....tonight is saturday night, it is halloween, I am meeting up with friends....and I AM AF, I am driving. .....quite happy with this situation. I like to get lots of AF saturdays/weekends in. The more the merrier!!! So to speak.

                        Here;s to a new thread tomorrow.....

                        love to all Moo
                        "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
                        but in what direction we are moving."

                        Comment

                          #162
                          Mod Squad October Thread

                          Sweet Sara,

                          Yes, when one opens the door to drinking they never know if it's the vampire who's going to come in and that's what makes moderating scary. Can we control it tonight...or will the vampire take hold and control us?

                          After my last battle with the vampire winning I did some real soul searching. Startingover (bless her) shared this U.K. documentary with the MWO folks (think it's on the General Discussion Board) and I watched it and it made such a difference in me. It really shows you what we have to lose if we over do it. Healthwise it's just so hard on our bodies when we don't allow our bodies to process only 1 drink per hour and for the folks in this documentary who are chronic and very heavy drinkers it really shows the price they pay.

                          If you only watch the 1st part of the documentary it may change your life. Of course it becomes addicting in itself to want to watch the entire thing. If you have time today though as you struggle about tonight, please watch #1.

                          Hugs and to a safe Halloween
                          Eve11
                          p.s. I'll be dressing as a vampire - LOL



                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NP0InrPZpjg[/video]]YouTube - Rain In My Heart (1 of 10)
                          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                          ~Jack Welsh~:h

                          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                          Comment

                            #163
                            Mod Squad October Thread

                            Hi Everyone,
                            Thanks for the support and kind words. Eve, I didn't see your post until just now, so haven't yet watched the documentary. I definitely will. KTAB, I agree, frequency is a problem...It leads to more frequency, which for me also leads to more drinks on any occasion.

                            I didn't drink tonight. I'm so glad! We went to two halloween parties, and then trick or treating. I really didn't feel like drinking. I was still a tired and headachy after having four glasses last night, and I wanted to use whatever energy I had left to make it a fun night for my boys. It really was. Even at the parties, I just drank water and talked with people, and didn't even have the nervous shy feeling I sometimes get without a drink in hand. My kids were adorable, and happy, and I just looked at them and felt grateful. I know in the morning I'll feel really good, having stayed AF tonight.

                            I've been thinking that sometimes what triggers my drinking is the feeling that it's hard for me to have fun without it. I feel at a loss, sometimes...wondering what to do to get that feeling of relaxation and pleasure. One thing that helps is if I'm in the midst of reading a book I love. Then I can look forward to it at night. Any book suggestions, anyone? I loved "The Book Thief", and "The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo" was gripping. I also liked "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle". I need things that I can get grabbed by fast...Not have to read 100 pages before I get caught up in them. I'd love any ideas you guys have. I just took Carrie Fisher's "Wishful Drinking" out of the library, so that's on the agenda for tonight, since sober me, I'm up and awake after my sleepy, candy filled boys and their dad have crashed!

                            It always feels good to come back here. See you tomorrow.
                            Sara
                            "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

                            Comment

                              #164
                              Mod Squad October Thread

                              Sarasmiles;748355 wrote: Hi Everyone,
                              I've been thinking that sometimes what triggers my drinking is the feeling that it's hard for me to have fun without it. I feel at a loss, sometimes...wondering what to do to get that feeling of relaxation and pleasure.
                              Sara,

                              I am so grateful that I drank in control tonight as planned. I did take kudzu and L-Glut and found an old post of mine that I bumped up for you but when I re-read it - it helped me as well.

                              We went to a bar for a birthday for my dearest friend and I purposely chose club soda as I knew we were going to a party later so my choice was I would rather have 2 there then only 1 (the wine is below standards at the dancing bar). I actually was ok sipping the seltzer but I know what you mean. Without drinking and "the buzz" sometimes it's harder to keep interested in being in a place. Amazing how we can stay at the party for hours or be the last to leave when we're drinking! Everything seems so much more interesting, funny, etc.

                              The party was amazing - I brought a quality wine as they seem to be hard liquor drinkers there and I was shocked that when we left no-one had touched the wine. Hubby observed that about 25% of the people weren't drinking at all!! A difficult concept for problem drinkers...how do they do it and have fun?? Sure is nice though to be in control, not stumble, slur, etc. They had a costume contest and one guy stumbled across the floor and the announcer made a crack about his drinking. I felt so blessed it wasn't me!!!

                              Anyway, had a total of 2 in a 2 1/2 hour period and know I will have a good night's sleep and am so happy about no blackouts, remorse, etc. tomorrow.

                              Love the book idea Sara- something to think about that excites you other than drinking. That's a whole other subject though and I should go to bed. May post this Halloween's pix
                              if I get a chance.

                              Hugs all,
                              Eve11
                              "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                              ~Jack Welsh~:h

                              God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                              Comment

                                #165
                                Mod Squad October Thread

                                Well done, Eve! :goodjob:
                                Good Morning Squad. Woke up and the first thought that popped into my head was, "Oh, Thank God I didn't drink last night!"

                                Just realized it's November so I guess we're starting fresh! See you all on the November thread!
                                "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

                                Comment

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