Mod Squad November 09

[Eve11]

Mod Squad November 09

Sunbeam;753945 wrote: On this thread we accept flip-flops, waffles, and sundry other items. We all work to support each other as we get our lives back, moving along a path that is unique to each of us.

Sunbeam,

How well said and isn't that the truth here. This mod thing is a hard thing and it is easy to want to flip flop. But no matter what one chooses, how much one has relapsed in mod or AF goals, we are all here to help each other and support each other and there's nothing better than that.

I can cross riding an elephant off of my bucket list!! What fun! Went to a floating market outside of the city where you take a small motor boat and folks have their houses on stilts on the riverside with their little markets on each side of the river that you pull up to to shop. Was great fun. They were all overpriced and even with bargaining there weren't any great deals but the experience was totally worth it. Got to be happy hour time here at the hotel and I had a mani/pedi and thought "well, if I'm done on time I'll join hubby...if not...I won't". So those changes are nice ones for me unlike the old days of planning the day around the drinking!!

Hugs to all. Hi to all.
Eve11

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Mod Squad November 09

Hi guys, agree with the whole flip flop thing, just hope this settles down in due time.
Well I am six months at MWO today and have just been checking my diary, 16 days of modding, probably 2-3 when I went a bit over my limit, and the rest of the time was AF. If I can repeat those targets for the next six months I will be well pleased.
I think at times, while we need to be realistic and totally honest with ourselves I think maybe because we decide to pick up a drink again we can be hyper critical of our behavour if it even slightly crosses our pre set boundaries. I am not talking about crossing that line which we all personally know exists, doing that is a slippery slope to hell.
Anyway I find myself in a totaly different place today than I was on May 11th 2009 and but for the support, advice and help and heck even love I have recieved here it would be so different. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

[cyclefan]

Mod Squad November 09

Congratulations to KTAB, who gives massive support to people when they come to MWO. Thank you for sharing your story of meeting your goals you are an inspiration.

I am doing much better myself, once again I'm at or under the recommended weekly limits (I use the UK measure of 14 units/week for women) and feel good again. We had a nice dinner out last night with friends and one cocktail was an elegant sufficiency.

Hello to all the modders, sorry I haven't been by lately our work has picked up and I have less time for posting than usual. Where is Dee Bee? Take care all and best wishes meeting your goals.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad November 09

Hello Everyone,
Eve, your elephant ride and other adventures sound amazing!! How wonderful. More proof that there is fun to be had without alcohol. If I could just find me an elephant. :H

Actually, things are okay here, in my relatively simple little life. The kids had the day off for Veterans' Day, so I spent it with them. It was a long day, with Hubby not home until after 9. But I felt pretty good. I thought of how often I have "rewarded" or "treated" myself at the end of the day (5:00. Not actually the end of the day with kids up until 8!) with wine. I just thought of it; and how much I want to be beyond that. How much I want to fill the emptiness, or ease the tension, or just enjoy myself, in new ways. Pouring a glass of wine is so easy and convenient and efficient! But, alas, so complicated, too. Another AF day for me, so I guess that makes it day 6.

I just finished a great book I'd recommend to all moms, called "Mommy Doesn't Drink Here Anymore" by Rachael Brownell. She really "gets" the problem-drinking mom syndrome, and the other struggles of motherhood and marriage. I thought of this group here when I read it, because she gets so much support from her twelve step group. I've never been to a meeting, and yet this feels like a similar atmosphere and bonding.

Ktab, congratulations. You're making big changes!

Cyclefan, so glad you're doing better, and keeping to your limits. How much is a unit, by the way? Not much, as I recall from "Rain in my Heart".

Emmy, I too am very glad you're still checking in here, after deciding to be AF for good. You're awesome.

I miss DeeBee...are you reading, hon?

Good night all.
Sara

[RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit]

Mod Squad November 09

Never been on an Elephant Eve

Been on a camel once...isn't traveling marvelous! Mr Rejuve & I love to travel. I've always had a bit of wanderlust in my soul.

Just completed our 1st week AF...had a few moments of longing for a glass of wine during the week...justpopped another L-glut... orfound something else to occupy myself or trotted myself off to bed...it's gotten easier. Going to shoot for another week.

Congrats KTAB.

Hi to Mg, Sara, Moo, Sunbeam, Emmy & Cyclefan.

Rejuve

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad November 09

Morning, Everyone,
Well done on one week Rejuv :thumbs: I'm in about the same place - day 7 today. I'm going to go forward with another AF week, too. My mood is good.

I've been thinking that perhaps my goal could be to be an "occassional" drinker, like you, Sunbeam...instead of a moderate, regular drinker. The long stretches do me such good, and yet I still can't make peace with the "never again" goal. I know our AF friends would insist that I must. But maybe I could be at peace with drinking very rarely. I don't think I'll obsess over "when will that be?" If I'm wrong, I'll have to re-think. If the once in a while drink makes me crave it more, I'll have to re-think. But I have this feeling that maybe if I didn't re-introduce it every few days, I might be able to be less preoccupied and edgy. Just a thought for the day.

Off to bring kids to school and go to work. I truly thank God you're all here, and that I can reach out to you all whenever I need to!
Sara

[mooderator]

Mod Squad November 09

I think that is probably right Sara. I tend towards this way of thinking too. The less of often AL is allowed into the picture, the more at peace I am with the idea of AF time. I hope this works for you. It depends what each months holds for me social etc, but whenever I can I get strentches of two-three weeks AF. I always feel good for it.

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Mod Squad November 09

Thank you Cyclefan, Sara, Rejuv and Mod for your kind words, I am in a good place now AL wise I think.

Having just read the last two posts I have been thinking of the difference between occasional drinker and moderate regular drinker and I guess it is different for everyone but for me the regularity is always going to be an issue to be watched carefully I think. I do know complacency could come and bite me very hard but I guess if we choose not to stay totally AF then constant vigilance is a price we have to pay.

If there is one change in myself that has suprised me most since I came here it is the fact that I am totally fine with not ever drinking again should I decide to take that route. Ask me a year ago would that be possible and I would have said I had more chance of winning the lotto.

I always try to be 100% honest in my posts or whats the point? So bearing that in mind I guess yes there are times when I fancy a drink but far more often now I prefer not to drink and feel really good for it.
I think given time and effort we will all come to a place were we feel we belong and are 100% comfortable in our relationship with or without AL. I wish you all success in finding your place.

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad November 09

Thanks Ktab and Mooderator, and hello everyone else! It's quiet around here!

My mood was really good today: Cheerful and energetic and relaxed. After school my two youngest boys (6 and 7) made this amazing sculpture out of recycled junk. They must have spent at least two hours working cheerfully together. It gave me a chance to read with the eldest, and also just to enjoy listening to them chatter together as they worked. What joy I felt! I didn't even mind the huge mess or the drips of glue on the carpet. My boys were happy and getting along! It was made all the more wonderful by the fact that I haven't had a drink in a week, and I didn't even want one today.

Yes, I am happier when I am alcohol free. It's very apparent! So my latest thought, as I said earlier today, is to drink very infrequently. I think I could do that. The truth is, my social life doesn't involve much drinking. Most nights I'm home with the kids and hubby. We go out for dinner as a family about once a month. And I could pass on drinking then, having dinner with the kids. I don't want to drink at home with them, alone or with just my husband. Hubby and I very rarely go out alone, and only rarely do we go to a party or dinner with another couple. So if I could just tell myself that on the rare occasion when he and I have dinner out, or at those infrequent friend or family get-togethers, I could have two glasses of wine, I think that might work for me. Occasional drinking. Not enough to keep the beast/cravings constantly alive. Not enough to get me depressed. Just enough so that I don't have to say "never again". Because that just hasn't ever worked for me. I have never believed it's absolutely necessary. And surely on some level one has to believe it's necessary to do it.

Sorry if I'm babbling and rationalizing. Maybe I'll be singing a different tune in a week or a year. But for right now, this seems like what I can live with. I guess time will tell, and I hope you'll all be around to call me on it if it doesn't work.

So where is Deebee? It is so painful when people just vanish...lots of people have come and gone, and I hate that. But Deebee was has been so constant. Surely she'll be back!

Be well everyone.
Sara

[RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit]

Mod Squad November 09

I don't have to say "never again"

Sarasmiles;755831 wrote:

Occasional drinking. Not enough to keep the beast/cravings constantly alive. Not enough to get me depressed. Just enough so that I don't have to say "never again". Because that just hasn't ever worked for me. I have never believed it's absolutely necessary. And surely on some level one has to believe it's necessary to do it.

I agree Sara, surely one has to believe....I want to believe like you and Sunbeam...that an occasional glass of wine or two is an achievable mod goal.

Have moved into my second AF week...on day 9 actually...yesterday was a little harder as my booze brain kept badgering me. I back in a good space today & was doubly rewarded by a suprise at the scale this morning with a 3# weight loss for the week . Woohoo! :clapping2:

Rejuve

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad November 09

Woohoo is right, Rejuve! Same here, on the weight loss! And I just look so much better after a few days AF. I feel like I almost glow, compared to the hung-over, under-slept look. Congrates on day 9. That is just great.

Hi to the rest of the gang...hope all are well.
Sara

[Emmy]

Mod Squad November 09



Sara & Rejuve , KTAB, Moo , Cycle ~ you all sound like your doing great

Wishing everyone a safe&happy weekend:l Em

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad November 09

Hey Everybody,

Deebs, you're busted! I saw you peeked! Can't get away with anything around here. Has anyone else been checking that place at the bottom of the main menu screen, where it tells who has visited the site today?

Cyclefan, good to see you here. I hope you are still enjoying those Friday steaks, maybe without wine?

Rejuv, good to see you are doing well, and working on another week. I really don't know what the AF time needed is for anyone, but I do believe that you have to learn to live your life without alcohol in order to drink moderately.

Sara, good to see you AF and happy. I think that occasional drinking is a great concept. It at least keeps me from drinking any more than once weekly, and I keep working on making it less than that.

KTAB, you like all of us are finding your own path.

Emmy, glad you are checking in.

Like Deebs, I may at some time stop posting. I currently wonder if coming here makes me think too much about drinking. I do want to increase my AF weekends. This is just a thought roaming around in my head.

Here it is, Friday night, party night, and what am I doing? Chopping and cooking swiss chard! When I got home from work, I filled a Rubbermaid tub with these beautiful leaves, and I've been washing, chopping, cooking for nearly 3 hours. Phew! The leaves are best after a heavy frost, but last year I waited too long and they got snowed under for good. Not this time! It is a great addition to soups and stews, packed with vitamins.

Take care, all.

[Eve11]

Mod Squad November 09

Hi gang,

As far as being on vacation I've been good in the fact that I haven't gone over 3 which is my ultimate limit and I do allow that on vacation as drinking tends to be a longer period of time, e.g. one midday poolside, one with dinner, one nightcap. However, I am still drinking daily as that's just so hard for me to Not drink when the booze is free on these fab vacations and our dinner hour tends to be the free cocktail hour with food.

However, not beating myself up about it as I never drink daily when not on vacation but am always aware of the fact that better modding would be AF days in between... vacation or not!!

You all sound so good- not enough time to track everyone's personal progress and comment at the moment but please know that I read all of your posts and am inspired and encouraged by each and every one of you.

When I first came here I couldn't figure out why modders ever left. But the longer I'm here I think I do get it that modders leave for different reasons.
1. One reason is people do discover that they just can't mod and the AF site becomes a better place to be for them.
2. Some just tire of the whole thing (it's a lot of work to track progress of folks, reply individually while worrying about excluding folks, etc.) so people just feel they're in a good place and don't feel the need for all of the work and quit posting but continue to keep modding with occasions of lurking for their support.
3. Some do find they can mod better without the daily reminder of drinking being a problem in their lives. They find when they come here they think about drinking too much and would just rather mod and not post or think about it.
4. Some like me feel the ongoing need for the support. I may be a lifer - I'm not sure. I just know that when I quit going to A.A. after 7 years of going religiously I ended up thinking I could drink again. I fear if I quit the hard work of coming here for support, taking time to read, taking time to post, etc.
I may slip back into overdrinking.

Well, just my mod meanderings for the day (to steal the phrase from Chicken).
Have a beautiful day friends.
Eve11

[RejuvenateBodyMindandSpirit]

Mod Squad November 09

Struggling with my Booze Brain in the witching hour

I posted an article in general discussions forums about the Booze Brain this morning. The same day I found the Book MWO & this website, a couple of week ago, I had found an article about the "Booze Brain" on WikiHow website. In short it tells you to think of your brain in two parts & the part that calls you to drink is the Booze brain...you objectify it separate it from the higher, smarter part of yourself. "Think of it as something separate from yourself, and learn to hear it speaking to you. It will try anything to get you to drink, because it falsely believes that you need to drink to survive. If you are feeling bad, it will tell you to drink to feel better. If you are feeling good, it will tell you to drink to party or celebrate. In fact, it will try to use any event in your life (good or bad) as an excuse to drink."

In the evening for the last couple of day...I have been battling my booze brain, not an all out war, but a running battle never the less. We ran out of Kudzu rescue, a few days ago...have some on order but it hasn't come in yet...I got some Kudzu at Vitamin cottage, but fear it is a very poor substitute...and am wondering if this is in part, some of the problem.

We're are still AF & intend to stay the course....I was really glad to have had the tools to think of the booze brain & to think of it separately...objectify it...it has helped.
Also helps to have Mr Rejuve here ....we keep each other honest.

Part of the time while the booze brain was having it's dialouge...It was considering beverages choices this weekend instead of staying AF, as it is a theatre weekend afterall. In a stream of consciousness,
next thoughts were if limiting to 3 AL beverages, shoul we have dinner wine& intermission cocktails or save them for after dinner, when we get home in the easy chair....& then I thought WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I realized, what a slippery slope the booze brain was taking me towards....
I really need to get used to having water, juice, ...tea...or nothing in the easy chair in the evenings & save the AL beverages for special occaisions...OCCAISIONALLY.

:teeter:
Rejuve