Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

((MG)) I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mum. 93 is a wonderful age, my gran turns 93 in a couple of months. Please also take care of yourself during this trying time.

I have lots to post but unfortunately its all negative so I've decided not to!! We leave in a couple of hours time to go away on our long weekend to a place called Qwantani which I am really looking forward to. My best friend and husband are joining us and I know that I'll have enough time to vent my displeasure and have a good ole bitch session later so I won't subject you all to it too LOL!!

Maia, well done on opening up to us. Isin't it a wonderful feeling knowing that you aren't alone in this struggle!!! You've done so well these last couple of weeks, I think you are going to be just fine!

Eve, I went dashing around like a mad woman this morning trying to take photos for you when the monkeys came to clean out my bread bin only for the shutter to jam ..... arrggghh!!

(((Sara))) How are you doing??

Sun, are you feeling better? I hope the snow storm is not too disruptive -- I can't really comprehend what its like to be honest.

Right, I'm off to finish packing the bags ... I'll see you all in March:-)

[Maia]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Good Morning,

im waking up after my dinner with no hangover which is good (an pretty unusual for me) I ended up having three drinks. I was supposed to stop at two, but it seems that in social events I cant really stop at 3. I'll keep trying of course. We had a good time and ate a lot!!!!! So the drinks didnt have the effect on me that sometimes can have even one drink on an empty stomach! And we were at the restaurant for over two hours...

mg, im very sorry about your mother. Hpefully she is feeling better today. Let us know...

DeeBee enjoy your trip! and I hope it helps you relax and hopefully forget about whatever negative happens (which I hope is not something really bad). IT IS a wonderful feeling knowing im not a lone, so thank you!!! We'll see you in March!!

Sara, I hope you are feeling better!!!

How is the weather sunbeam? Here in South Florida is in the 40s!!!! Unbilievable!!!! It was warm for about 3 days and now we are back to unusual cold weather!!!!

We'll be traveling next week. I plan on being AF until we leave. Actually until the big event. I havent been to a party since I started attemping to moderate so it will be a HUGE challenge, and it is getting closer......

I hope you all have a good day!

[mg72]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Morning Mods,
Thanks to all of you for the good wishes for my Mother's recovery. She is doing extremely well after surgery and is kind of a 93 year old superwoman. She should transfer from medical center to assisted living on Monday and has already started her P.T.

I want to respond to what has been written about if we belong on AF site or L.T Mods. I believe the L.T. Mods are in different place than AF abstainers. As Sara and Eve wrote I have never "hit rock bottom" with AL. At times I drank more than was healthy but it has never significantly affected my relationships with my wife, my sons, other family, friends, co-workers or even strangers. If I do drink more than I should(which is 3 in one night) I abstain for a few days and get back within my limits. I loved the 18 strait days I went AF last year as far as sleeping, communication and energy level. What I did not like was the social gatherings AF and having some nights with my wife or alone enjoying a few drinks and relaxing. I greatly respect someone that is AF that had serious negative consequences from drinking. I have not had those problems from drinking and if I do I will quit.

Sunbeam, I really like your idea that learning and practicing how not to drink is a important key to modding. We have to learn to enjoy nights having a few drinks and also enjoying nights AF. We also have to practice how to mod when we do drink.

LGL, It was neat to read of you doing AF one night when you had urge to drink. I am glad that you moved on from your bad experience and not let guilt eat you up. I love the feeling it gives me when I have the urges, let them pass and enjoy the night AF.

Maia, Way to go last night in staying to three drinks. It was wise to keep eating while you had drinks. Eating along with lots of water is a key to me staying in moderation. Where do you plan on going from here? Have you decided to go AF again or get on a mod plan?

Dee Bee, Enjoy your trip and I hope your grumpus under the rug stays at home. Mine was out in full force yesterday morning. Once I saw my Mom was doing well I put him back where he belongs. It was 13 degrees Fahrenheit here yesterday so I would love to be in some of your 45 degree Centigrade weather for a few days.

Great day to all mods.

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Hi friends,

We had an event last night as well. I know what Maia means because it is hard to stop at two. I was in good company...a hubby who usually only has one and he's done and the other couple who were very mild drinkers.

What made it easier for me to mod?

You had to buy tickets for drinks which would have made going back for a third more difficult as we only bought tickets for two drinks each.

I shared this one time before about possibly creating our own tickets for ourselves when we go to parties, events, etc. Have a drink, throw the ticket you brought away. Have your 2nd drink, throw your 2nd ticket your brought away. Oops!! Now you're out of tickets. You'll have to really think long and hard about having that third one without a ticket. It could help...give it a try.

mg, keep mom up and moving and glad to hear she's doing better.

DeeBee, Hope you have a wonderful vacation. I always love things that include hubby and friends so have a relaxing time.

Hi to all my wonderful mod squad friends, AFers who visit our site and lurkers who we dare to join us and post for the first time. The more the merrier.

We're all bozos on this bus!! :racer:

:l
Eve11

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Hello Squad and visitors!
Maia, sounds like you did well with your night out. Congrats. :goodjob: Eve, I like the idea of tickets... Mg, glad your mom is doing well. Sunbeam, are you blanketed in snow? We've had nothing but rain and wind. Last night we had a big wind storm - knocked down three panels of fencing in our yard. It was pretty dramatic, lying in bed listening to the wind.

I'm doing fine...Still thinking a lot about what happened last week. I just can't write this one off, you know? I want to know it will never happen again. More and more I'm thinking I've had my last chance at moderation. And it didn't work.

But anyway, I feel good on day 8 AF and I'm glad to know I'll go out with the kids to a cub scout meeting tonight completely sober. Honestly I think I might want to spend the rest of my life this way. I'm so tired of the struggle and the counting and the planning. Not that I don't completely understand why we have all been doing it. But I am tired of it.

Okay, gotta run. Love to all.
Sara

[Maia]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Eve, I think that is a great idea! I'll try something like that for the party next week, I'll let you know how it goes onces im back. I'll be traveling for a week. hopefully I'll be able to write because Im sure im going to be needing a lot of support!!! So many people will be at thye party and I cannot let my husband down!! What scares me the most is that the party will last for hours!!!!!!!

mg, im so glad your mother is better! That's good news! You asked me about my next step, my plan... Im just starting so for now I think i need to try and have as much AF days a week as I can. I'll do an AF week now. I'll see how it goes next month and I;ll reevaluate my goals. I also dont think that reached or that I will ever reach (I hope) rock bottom. I really dont believe now that I should be AF, but I'll find out in the next months. I never drank everyday, but since I always overdrank i still felt pretty miserable and scared, so for now I'll be here and I really hope I wont have to go to any other thread!

Sara I completely understand your fears but I think what you are doing is great. You have been 8 days AF so it is a good time to think, regroup and evaluate what your decision will be. It is tiring to be struggling all the time. I remember how great I felt when I was pregnant. I was never scared to wake up in the morning, I was never hangover, no regrest, I loved it and it was just easy!

Now that I mentioned a hangover, I need to take back what I said this morning about waking up without a hangover.... I WAS hangover, I just didnt realized it when I first woke up. My hangovers where usually pretty bad, headach, nausea, etc. I didnt feel any of that, but I was tired all day and im exhausted now!!!! much better whenI dont drink!!

I've asked this many times but havent really gotten an answer yet (i think) Am I supposed to take supplements everyday or just when I drink? Specifically kudzu and L-glut... Any suggestion??

We had pizzas with the kids tonight and when the kids go to sleep we'll watch a mivie, BTW, I cant wait for the kids to go a sleep which is a HORRIBLE thing to say and it is all about my drinks last night!

Good night to you all!!!!

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Hi Maia,
I'm so grateful for your post. I appreciate your willingness to remember how good it felt to be AF while pregnant. And I appreciate your admitting that you felt a little tired and just a little hungover today. It's easier to say, "there were no consequences", and tonight I really needed to be reminded that there are...if we go even one drink beyond our limit. So thanks for being honest and sharing that!

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Checking In

Hi all:

I'm checking in after being away for two weeks on vacation. I was in Florida visiting my 83 y/o parents who snowbird to Ft. Myers for a few months.

It's great to see how well you all are doing. I particularly resonate with the conversation about how important the mods support group is. Even in my darker days I find solace in how this site creates a place to share and support those of us struggling with how we use alcohol in our lives. Something formerly "hidden" and experienced alone.

Maia your journey is beautiful to watch and helps me remember my earliest AF days, and how sweet those early successes were and how "busting with pride" we can feel.

mg72 I'm so happy you've joined the group. Don't know where old Adam Cartright has gone hiding, be he's another male voice on this thread. It's very nice to have you here and I like your "grumps under the rug" turn of phrases.

Sara hang in there: you are a special person who works hard on this modding lifestyle. I'm sorry you feel shaken by your "mother visit" episode but I think the advice to consider the trigger reason is sound. I like the jewelry idea but not if it is to recall with shame. We must be mindful but I found great relief in stopping the shaming, which surprisingly is a choice we have. My counselor told me I wouldn't drink less, and maybe would drink more if I continued to let shame rule me: it was a blessed surprise to let the shame go. I wish the same for all of us.

Eve and Sun you continue to be such thought leaders on this thread: I truly appreciate your thoughts and wisdom, and am glad you decided against another thread for social chat :-). Thank you both for your generosity.

DeeBee my dear, you are away for a few days, but I can't wait to "speak" to you. Daughter issues continue even as mine is away in France for the month. Apparently my daughter is doing well there, well loved by many, but her posts on FB are occaisionally outrageous (and inappropriate from my perspective!!) She is a real live-wire and I just don't know what to expect when she returns. Will try to enjoy the rest of my reprieve (she returns March 6) and just accept that her return will be what it is.

I need to really recharge and set goals for March. I've been drinking too often and averaging 3 drinks/night most nights . .. very few AF days. Getting back to 7 - 10 drinks/ week seems too high a bar to set right now, so need to decide on a plan which I'll post on the March thread.

Will sign off as I have lots of paperwork to catch up on, but know how I value you my friends!
Ask

[Sarasmiles]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Welcome back, Ask! So good to hear from you!

Hope everyone is well on this Saturday night. I feel good after an AF dinner out with the boys and hubby. At this point I see myself staying AF for as long as I can and as long as I feel I must. That doesn't sound quite right. I should probably say it with more certainty and determination! But anyway, I don't want to drink. So I do think I will have to back away from my beloved squad for a while anyway, while I get my head straight. I have said I wanted to stay here because I cherish all of you and your friendship, and I truly do. But last week I really crossed my own line. If it had been the first or even the 21st time, I would give myself another chance; keep trying, you know? But it wasn't. It's true I'm not a "chronic heavy drinker", and I don't have any DUIs, and I've never lost a job or had a drink in the morning or any of that....But at this point, I want to stop reassuring myself that "I'm not that bad" and instead look at what has been, and continues to be, bad for me about drinking. I am so unbelievably scared that if I re-open the door I will have another episode like last week, and that next time I won't get off so easy; that I might hurt myself or someone else, or behave badly in front of the kids. I know that to say I'm going to remain AF does not guarantee that those things won't happen. But I think for me it reduces the risk.

So I'm not going to get too sappy, since I will check in and stay in touch. I'm just going to back off on the daily check-ins. And I want to say an enormous THANKS to my dear friends here. I love you and wish you all well, and I'll be seeing you!!!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Sara,
We understand it may be hard at first, perhaps forever to check in on moderators and hear stories of enjoying our glass of wine with dinner or champagne at a brunch when you're struggling to be free of alcohol.

To our Newbies: A reminder that we can also send p.m.'s to Sara to keep in touch so we're not really losing her.

Sara, you WILL meet some fabulous AF'ers that will take you under their wing like the mod squad has. RubyWillow, Starting Over, Guitarista, IAD (he'll make you laugh), greeneyes (I like her spiritual thinking), Cindi... there are too many to name but there are fabulous people in AF land who you will bond with for sure.

At the risk of enabling you to continue drinking I'm going to say I love you enough to let you go.

We will always be friends and I'll be in touch via p.m.s and fb!

The biggest hugs,
:l :h :l
Eve11

[Ask For Help]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Sara: I agree with Eve:
I will always be here for you on whatever thread or pm you want to find me. I support you in whatever path you choose. I admire and respect you immensely. I will come looking for you too!
Fondly

Ask

[Maia]

Mod Squad Febuary Thread!

Hi Ask for help! it's nice too talk to you! I kind of know a little bit about you as i read some of your old posts. Im glad you are back!!!

Sara, i hope I can keep in touch with you! It was an immense pleasure getting to know you this month. I learned a lot from you! Im sure you are an amazing mother and wife, so I support your decision if you believe it is the best for your boys, your husband, and most importantly, for you!

I have visitors so I have to go. No AL for me tonight! Tomorrow is a new month and I look forward to it!