how its done

[spuddleduck]

just wondering how long term moderators got there. my goal would be able to mod but not sure if its possible. have tried unsuccesfully for a long time to drink 'normally'. is it adviseable to be al free for a while first and then see how it goes or somehow manage to go straight to moderation. if it was easy we would all be there now. thanks in advance for advice

[JackieClaire]

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hi spuddleduck,

Most people would recommend at least 30 days AF before you start beginning to moderate your drinking.
I re-read your 1st post and would honestly say talk it through with your Dr and the alcohol service too.

Try not to think too far ahead. At the moment just take it one day at a time.

J x

:l

[Eve11]

how its done

Spuddleduck,

Spend some time reading our posts here if you can as there's a plethora of information to help you.
Good luck and I agree with JC to try to get some AF time under your belt before you attempt moderating.

However, if that's difficult - just try to cut back what you're drinking and start reading as you'll find all the info you need here I'm sure.

:welcome:

Eve11

[Sunbeam]

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Spuddleduck,
If you have been a daily heavy drinker, your chances of long term moderation are small. But welcome to MWO, there is great support here and many ideas for all.

[frances]

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Hi - It's been awhile since I've posted - I started coming here a little more than a year ago - went AF for 30 days in October 2008 and was soooo proud and then tried modding. Well, I don't recall exactly how fast it progressed but sure enough, I was right back to daily drinking within a few months. I agree with Sunbeam, if you are a daily heavy drinker chances are small. I'm not sure I'd classify myself as a daily 'heavy' drinker - definitely daily, always at least 2 drinks and more likely 4 and weekends more. Very rarely over the top drunk - but often just very tired and not feeling well on many days from having too many the night before. Anyway, I'm going AF for lent and we'll see where it goes from there. One week today! I'd like to stop daily drinking and preferably only drink on special occasions. There's really no need to drink more than that - I don't like my kids seeing me come home from work every day and the first thing I do is pour a glass of wine.

I think it is definitely adviseable to go AF first - I think it helps break the habit. Good luck to you!

[BELIEVE]

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I'm definatley sounding like a broken record here cause I've posted this so many times before but I think its important and hopefully it'll help someone someday.

Anyway, forget about modding and just quit drinking. For longer than 30 days. I'd say at least 6 months or longer. And like I just posted in another thread , get used to quitting cause you'll have a similar experience everytime you drink (I do anyway).

I'm not trying to discourage modding, but if you can't quit you got no business thinking of modding IMO.

[mollyka]

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I agree wholeheartedly Believe. I think anyone who has any difficulty quitting altogether must face that horrible 'day 1' time and time again modding.

[Funny Girl]

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Ditto - the reason most of us are here is that we cannot mod in the first place. if I could, I wouldn't have a problem at all. I'm like this with everything - if one is good - 12 is better! (my 'medium' switch is broken) I've been trying to think that after a period of time I might be able to mod too, but I'm already working on telling myself it's a fantasy. I'm trying to retrain my brain right now & to focus on the great things I like about not drinking - rather than the things I miss about drinking. It's hard though, I know.

[Ask For Help]

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Hi Frances: Nice to see you posting. I noticed your modding when you started last time and you did a really good job!! I'm sorry to hear that you fell back into old habits but that can happen . . .I am myself stuggling with drinking too often and more than I want, and am finding I need the support and accountability of folks here to get back on track.

At the risk of starting an argument, I don't agree with Believe and others that say modding is not possible. It is not possible for many, and it is difficult, but it is possible for some. If you feel its not right for you then by all means go AF.

For me its a bad coping mechanism like overeating that needs adjusting.

Anyway: nice to see you here.

Ask

[Funny Girl]

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well, I think one of the points being made is that if you can't take even a small break from drinking, it's unlikely that you'll be able to moderate . . . .

[Sunbeam]

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One thing that I've come to realize about this kind of conversation is that those saying modding can't be done HAVE to think that, or else it becomes an option for them. They have already learned that it doesn't work for them. FunnyGirl, from what you have posted that seems to be where you are at.

[Eve11]

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Ask and Funny Girl,

You both have valid points. I think it's always a good idea for any new person to quit for 30 days to clean their body and head.

I think the basic thing about being able to mod is that one cannot be a chronic drinker who has built up a tolerance to alcohol whereas one or two drinks wouldn't have any kind of an effect on them. One recent poster stated his tolerance was so high that he needed 6 drinks just to feel a slight buzz. For me, I would be totally wasted on 6 drinks.

Moderating is always a nice thought but it is a lot of work. Someone else posted how they got so tired of thinking about the next time they could have a drink. Sometimes I experience that as well where I'll be thinking "Ok, I had my 4 drinks over the week-end and now I won't be having a drink until next Friday (if there are no week-day dinners out or events planned) and it is kind of a drag to be thinking like that. When I quit alcohol and was free of it for 7 years, you know life just went on and I had fun and I wasn't thinking about that next drink like I do with modding. So, yes, modding is a lot of work. Folks just have to figure out whether it can work for them or not. And no shame if it can't. IMHO it is difficult to do and is a lot of work.

:l
Eve11

[Funny Girl]

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Sunbeam - I didn't say it couldn't be done - but I do think if you can't quit for a short time after drinking whatever you deem as "too much", then it's unlikely you'll jjust cut back. If you can - hey - great - you're a better person than I am.

Bottom line is, that if you're always thinking about driking, you have a problem - it's interfering with your life. if it wasn't & it was simply something you could "take or leave" you wouldn't be here. . . .

[Eve11]

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Funny Girl;813865 wrote:
Bottom line is, that if you're always thinking about driniking, you have a problem - it's interfering with your life. if it wasn't & it was simply something you could "take or leave" you wouldn't be here. . . .

I agree with that Funny Girl. I know in many ways I am often thinking about drinking.

Just thinking about when I can have the next one is a prime example. I guess we would agree (at least I will) that we do all have problems because we wouldn't be here if we didn't...that's true.

I still think there's a difference though with a few folks being able to moderate and most that cannot. Many will try and fail but you know what? They got their foot in the door of finding help for themselves so they just had to take baby steps to eventually quit drinking.

And for those few where moderating works? Well, they are people with drinking problems because they can't just "take it or leave it" like someone without a problem at all. But at least they've cut down consumption, aren't a risk drinking and driving anymore, aren't making fools of themselves at parties/events anymore etc...how out of control can you get on 2 drinks right?

But it is a lot of work for sure, a lot of thinking about drinking, etc. and that's why many choose to not put all that crazy effort into it and eventually go AF.

Interesting discussion for sure!!

:l
Eve11

[Funny Girl]

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Eve - love the quote about the elevator to success . . .mine sure is . . .