Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

[dove]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi all,
I would like to join in too. I've been thinking my ultimate goal is to never have more than 3 drinks in a sitting/outing/party/day/whatever. I don't know if a weekly limit can be set because some weeks I don't drink at all and other weeks there are many occasions...this week nothing, next week graduation!!!
I mean, really, three drinks is enough, anyway.
I have never given myself a limit before so I don't know how this should/will work. Do I tell people I'm drinking with that I have a 3 drink limit? They all know my struggles with drink because they have known me for long enough and they all have some of the same struggles at times.
One problem I know I have at home is that I pour HUGE drinks....maybe start just doing beer or single wines so I can measure accurately how much I am drinking??? What do you think?
Probably won't be drinking till next week so I've got time to make some decisions.
Thanks all!
Dove

[Sunbeam]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Dove, you are welcome to post here. But I just read your post under General Discussion, and I'm thinking you might be more successful if you first put in some significant AF time, especially to reflect on your thinking about your drinking. I would suggest at least 30 AF days, more is better. Just posting here with us that you will stop at 3 might not be successful, and I would rather help set you up for success. Also, we are talking about standard 5oz. servings as one drink, one bottle of wine = 5 drinks. I would not consider three huge glasses moderate drinking.

[NewOne]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

My goal is just to drink a tall boy. 24 oz of beer. (I am a beer drinker). Well, yesterday after work I did just that. And learned a few things about myself. It didn't taste good & I didn't enjoy it. So either the glutamine, the niacin & the chromium is working, or I don't enjoy drinking for the pleasure of taste & relaxation.

Evidently I drink to get intoxicated, period. Why that comes as a surprise is beyond me. And even more surprising, a 2 beer buzz doesn't feel all that good. I didn't even enjoy that. Now I can at least relate to normal drinkers & why they are normal drinkers. I can't say any of it was pleasurable.

So, that being said, I plan on allowing myself another tall boy over the weekend if the craving hits me.

Another thing with me is...eating & drinking doesn't mix. I can cut myself off the alcohol any time by just eating something. So, I have that as a tool.

If this post sounds rambling it's because I haven't had sufficient caffeine

[NewOne]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I want to add something that I just realized. Yesterday, while at work I had already decided that I was going to drink. That is when I planned the 'one tallboy' experiment.

Yay me! I think I get it. I recognized the craving, the decision to drink, and then put a plan in place. Yay me, again! I've never done that. It's a huge step for me.

[dove]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Good Morning all,

Yes, Sunbeam, I know I would be more successful if I could do a large AF stint and I thank you for your kind support - but right now it is not going to happen. Graduation is next week and the big drinkers of the people coming into town get here mid-week. These people I have a hard time controlling my alcohol intake around because it is always there and always flowing freely. Soon after my parents get here. I don't have a problem controlling my drinking around my parents because I know how much they disapprove of drunkenness. I am not ready to share with either of these groups of people that I have a drinking problem so I will not be turning down drinks because I feel like the obvious question (although in reality it is not the obvious question) is 'why, are you an alcoholic and can't handle your liquor?'

I guess a more obvious question would be 'Are you pregnant?' but that question is not what I am afraid of.

What I was trying to say about the huge drink pouring is that I need to back that down to normal size drinks to really count for three drinks.

SO...for now, my goal is to take it easy mid-week. I will take deep breaths and hold off having the first drink until later in the evening and then have no more than three. Because really, I get very nervous and anxious when others are drinking around me and I am not. I just need to relax! I KNOW I CAN DO IT! I can do it around my parents I just need to do it around others.

I won't be drinking until then so cheers to that!

BTW - I just went back and read some of the posts from when I first joined MWO which was almost 3 1/2 years ago and didn't realize that at that time I was drinking almost every night. So in some way I have made an improvement there because I am not a slave to the liquor store (really, different liquor stores) each day right now. I don't really feel like I made a conscience decision to stop living like that but here I am and I know there have been days when I have turned down drinking al for drinking tea so maybe I have.

Maybe after graduation I can do some long AF time. Who knows. Right now I can only commit to the 3 drink goal I have set here.

Dove

[NewOne]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Dove... Used to be when I picked up beer, it was a 12 pack. (I would drink most of it). When I cut it back to a six pack, I felt like I was drinking in moderation. :H

I think as long as we keep moving forward, we'll be okay.

Onward soldier!

[Ask For Help]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I woke up this morning more rested than yesterday. I have to remember that when I rationalize a glass of wine (or two) will "pick me up" at dinnertime, that I may be buying a "tiredness" ticket for the next day.

Ask

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi Dove. Welcome!

[dove]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Morning all,

So my DH got home last night and unbenownst to me (kinda behind my back because I was in the other room) made me a margarita and brought it to me saying 'happy cinco de mayo!' Well just wanted to share that I drank it slowly and only had that one because I made a concious decision not to drink more! Believe me, I thought about it but didn't do it.

And I remembered that sickly, not good feeling I get from just one drink. I know that times in the past when I've only had a couple drinks I have talked myself into more to get past the sick feeling and onto the drunk feeling because it feels better than sick. Lots of my 'normal drinker' friends talk about feeling sick after a couple drinks and stop drinking...I drink more???? Wow, that doesn't really make sense...

Anyway, test 1=passed. On to test 2....

Dove

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hey gang,
I don't want to take away from our daily thread so let's stay focused on this (Ruby Tuesday) thread. We only want to post our goals for the week here and then come back the following week and state how we did, if we met the goals or if we didn't why we think we didn't, what our triggers were, what could we have done differently etc.

So to clarify, Dove and New One - tell us your goals for this week from today until Sunday, May 8th. You hope to have how many drinks for the entire week? You hope to be AF how many days out of 7?
Then on Monday or Tuesday, May 10 or 11th post how you did.

I really appreciate everyone's input - this thread was rocking this morning, but the daily struggles we're sharing should be posted over on long term moderator monthly thread where everyone will see it and you'll get more comments.

BTW, New One & Dove, with what you've both posted you ARE making progress!!! Keep coming back - this is a great place for us to help each other and find our individual way out successfully.


Eve11

[bear73]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Thanks Eve for the support - only just seen the boards!
This week I have felt much better, i think I really consciously started thinking positively and focusing on one day and challenging any negative thoughts.each time I had one I'd replace it with the opposite positive.

e.g. 'I can't lose weight and am fat' becomes' 'I am losing weight and becoming slim and healthy'

I also have tried to stop worrying about others agendas/thoughts of me - I can't control that I can only control how I behave.

One drink this week and that's it,hope everyone else has a good week.

next week's goals(may be a bit early But I probably won't get here on Tuesday)
1. 1 non skate exercise session
2. stick to calories
3. cycle to work twice
4. drink only Saturday eve

The first three help me feel better/healthier so that drinking goal becomes easier to achieve.

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I've got to be honest gang. The accountability of posting goals helps me to do better but when I can't meet my goals it makes me feel awful. Maybe that's why some moderators who are successful decide to leave...because they just get so tired of tracking, counting, etc.

Anyway, I'll keep coming back as I feel a need to help others in this struggle as well as helping myself.

I was being more liberal with no more than 9 drinks per week (Moderation Management's more liberal amount) but was doing so well that I made the National Institute of Alcohol and Alcoholism 's recommendation of no more than 7 per week my goal. And then unexpected things happened like a one drink event on Thursday and a basketball event on Sunday (I usually never drink on Sundays) so I went over my limit by 1.

Anyway, I never got drunk, slurry, a risk to drive (because I didn't), etc. I've almost finished reading another book by a writer who went AF who believes no-one can moderate but then I keep reading postings here (on AF sites) and I see a huge difference between people who drank daily or crazily out of control and I have to ask myself truly...are 8 drinks in a week out of control? I really think not. So, I will continue to moderate, think, plan, count, etc. and enjoy my few drinks on the occasions I drink them.

My plan for the week of May 10-17 are:

No more than 8 drinks per week (I'll find a balance between MM and NIAAA)

No more than 3 drinks in a night.

What are your plans and goals for success?

:l
Eve11

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Last week I said:
Anyway - AF tonight (Monday), tomorrow, and Thursday.
That worked out.
Perhaps Sunday, to make up for last week.
Was AF Sunday, also!
Three-four drinks on the other nights at max. NO exceptions.
Did that too.

Altogether, a good week for me. :yay:

Eve - I have lots of thoughts about the whole "no one can moderate" issue that you brought up last post. I have to organize them a bit for coherence, though. I'll post them on the monthly thread when I get to that point (it might take a while, I'm still answering - in my mind - a thread on this very topic from weeks ago. I have lots of thoughts...). Otherwise, I'm over the moon on how this is going for me. I loooove sleeping AF because I have these great colourful, action-packed dreams all night long. And I like to have a few drinks during the week without guilt. After all, Goddess made grapes fermentable for our enjoyment! :wings:

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Whooooops. I forgot goals for the coming week. Soooo - AF Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, plus another random day if it makes sense to do so. And 3-4 drinks (or less) on any of the other days.

[frances]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi everyone! Eve I can definitely relate to what you are saying. I feel like I'm drinking pretty 'normally' now - sometimes I think that because of all the goals, etc. it tends to make you feel guilty even when you moderate, and moderating is the ultimate goal, isn't it? To drink and to enjoy it, but at moderate levels. I realize that all the counting, etc. is needed because we came here in the first place for a reason, but then it becomes kind of defeating even when it shouldn't necessarily be.

My goal every week is to only drink on special occasions and to never drink more than 3. That last part on the last two weekends has been a problem for me. I've been to parties and those have lasted several hours. Last weekend at a party I had 4 drinks but over 4 hours. This weekend at a party I had 5 drinks over 5 hours. So I didn't really get drunk but certainly drank more than I intended. I realize I need to work on this. But again, see paragraph 1 above where part of me thinks - jeez this is the only time I'm drinking is it really so bad? So I have mixed feelings.

To sum it up - this week, I drank on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday 2.5 glasses of wine with husband over dinner. Sunday 5 drinks at a mothers day bbq. That last part I'd like to see different but I'm thinking I should think about changing my 'never more than 3' goal to 'never more than 4'. Though I realize there is no real reason I need to have more than 3. I'm so mixed up about this! I guess I need to think about it for awhile. I know some folks gave some suggestions (drink tickets, etc.) last week. I didn't try them ops!: I'm sure that would have helped and probably avoided the problem!

Congrats on your success canadian girl. It sure does feel good to sleep AF and to wake up feeling good - I'm with you on that!!

Well here's to a better week this week! Good luck all! My goals will be the same for now. I'll think about whether I should change them.

Frances