Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

[Eve11]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq65LV1Lv0o[/video]]YouTube - The Rolling Stones - Ruby Tuesday

“Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you”
The Rolling Stones

The song Ruby Tuesday is dedicated to the moderators who come and go at MWO as the names change but MWO remains the same. Some stay for a while, some not long enough. Reasons vary as to why people leave…some discover they can’t moderate, some do better moderating without coming to the site because they don't want to be reminded of drinking and some just leave for reasons unknown. But we’re grateful for all who come here to share experiences and encourage each other in finding their own way out.

A friend recently told me it’s not the amount that you drink but how your life is affected by your drinking. Those with alcohol abuse problems are not dependent upon alcohol like an alcoholic is yet many decide to give it up as well if they find their lives are starting to have problems because of their drinking.

Will everyone who tries to moderate be successful? No, but I do believe there are some people who can learn to be moderate drinkers and I’m still trying to determine if I can be one of them..

This thread is designed for those following our moderation management program here at MWO to discuss progress, set weekly goals, trade tips and talk about the trials and tribulations of the moderating lifestyle. As AAers go to daily meetings and folks following Moderation Management go to weekly face to face meetings, this thread is for the purpose of a weekly support group meeting to discuss what's working, what isn't in our recovery process.

Eve 11: This post was started April 12, 2010 and I plan to keep it running until people quit posting on it.

I started to notice a trend in the past couple of weeks of drinking too much. One bad night seemed to have opened the door of thinking “I blew it this week so it won’t matter if I blow it again.” Even week nights when I usually don't drink at all I was to be found having a glass of wine or two here and there.

I am committing to really stick to my goals. I have set more realistic ones as I've been failing lately. I am going to currently follow the Moderation Management goals which are more liberal than the NIAAA goals. So for me:

No more than 9 drinks per week (that's definitely on the high side!!)
No more than 3 in a night (my ultimate goal is no more than 2)
No more than 3x per week
I will track daily and have started an online journal
I will also be recording my triggers, who I was with when I drank, activities I was doing, major life events, etc. Example, today is a sad day for anniversaries of departed loved ones. Could have been a trigger but I journaled instead rather than choosing to drink.

How did your last week go and what changes or goals will you be setting for the week? Please share any new tips or strategies that are helping you find your way out!

:l
Eve11

[Maia]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Good morning modders,

Eve, thank you for starting this interesting and challenging thread. I just had an AF week which I found pretty easy to acomplish. I realize that I long as I don't have any social event in the way, I can perfectly manage to be AF. That's definetly an improvement for me as I used to drink two or three times a week (always to the point of passing out) and a social event didn't have to be the reason fot it, actually, I enjoyed it the most when my drinking was done by myself as I didn't have to control anything. Well, that's in the past. :

We have dinner plans un thursday and then friday we are going to my friend's beach house so it's going to be a weekend of plenty of opportunities to drink in excess.

Given the circunstances of this week, these are my goals for the week:

1. I will be AF until thursday.
2. Thursday at dinner I will no have more than 3 drinks (I will try to have only two)
3. During the weekend at the beach, I will not have more than 3 drinks in a day and I will not have a drink before 5. Sounds early but I know how it works when we go there and there are drinks at the beach starting as early as 11am!!!
4. So, the total number of drinks allowed for me this week is 9. My usual goal is not to have over 7 per week, but being realistic for this particular weekend I'm allowing myself a little more.

Eve, thank again fot starting this threat, and I look forward to reporting my week!

Have a nice day every one!

[frances]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Good morning!

Last week I did great with my moderation plan. No drinks until yesterday. I went out to see a band last night with a group of friends. We had dinner and with dinner I had one glass of wine, which I enjoyed very much. Other than that, two glasses of water! The band was great, I had a great time, and I feel great this morning!

My moderation plan for next week will continue to be: only allow myself to drink on special occasions. If a special occasion arises (out with friends, dinner out with husband), I will limit my intake to no more than 3 drinks.

Good luck to all!

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Thanks for the response.
Let's continue to record our daily challenges on our monthly thread and we'll cut and paste our goals for this week when we report next week and talk about how we did.

The purpose of this thread is to help us be a little more accountable with discussing and reporting to each other rather than drinktracker where people may not see how we're doing and we may be crashing and burning and no-one can help us in time.

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Great idea, Eve! Can I join in?

It's midweek now, and I'm on track so far. My routine is 2 AF days and no more than 3-4 drinks the other days, going up to 3 AF days for the end of the month. I'm also feeling that the fourth drink is doing me NO favours at all. Time to scale back on that, too. Maybe fizzy water instead of the 2nd or 3rd one. I'm being really deliberate, maybe too much so, but I'm such a creature of habit that it makes sense to use it to my advantage!

see you next week, all :thanks:

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Week Mon April 19 - 25th

Hi Gang,

Reporting back to the Ruby Tuesday thread how my last week went with setting goals and now reporting how I did. In blue is a refresher of what my goals were and will remain at for now.

No more than 9 drinks per week (that's definitely on the high side!!)
Met my goal as I had only 4 drinks this week[
No more than 3 in a night (my ultimate goal is no more than 2)
Met my goal as I had 2 on Friday night and 2 1/2 on Saturday night
No more than 3x per week
Met my goal as I only drank 2x this week
I will track daily and have started an online journal
Tracked my thoughts every day with the exception of one day which I know don't even remember what I did but I didn't drink!

From what I journaled here is what I have surmised.
It's real easy to make excuses to drink. I could have drank on Monday thinking I needed it to relax because I have a son who loves to give me trouble and the thought to escape with a drink does occur to me at times when I'm stressed about him. There were week-day stressors of work, a minor dent in my fender - little irritations that made a drink sound enticing. But upon thinking about the consequences if I had a drink - it just never seemed like a good idea on a week-night.

I had very controlled drinking on Friday and Saturday. Hubby offered to take me out for a third on Friday to a fabulous resort and I remember thinking that I really didn't want to when he first asked. When we got in the car I didn't remind him to go there and we just drove home feeling like we both had had enough with 2 drinks. I felt like a "normal" drinker and have to say that's a rare feeling for me.

On Sunday I was invited to a "girl" party and I remember thinking "I hope the hostess isn't serving mimosas." In the past I would be hoping she would be!! She did offer a sangria and I said "No thanks, I'm good, I just poured a diet coke". Who wants to feel like they need a nap on Sunday afternoon because of a drink or two.

Same goals for me next week. How about you?

:l
Eve11

[frances]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Good morning! My update is below.

My moderation plan was to only allow myself to drink on special occasions. If a special occasion arises (out with friends, dinner out with husband), I will limit my intake to no more than 3 drinks.

What I did: No drinks during the week Monday through Thursday. I had a nice dinner with husband (at home) Friday evening and had two glasses of wine. I enjoyed those over about 2 hours and had water after that. We had a great conversation and it was so nice to just connect like that after a busy week. Saturday evening my brother had family over for a cookout. I had 3 drinks over about 2 hours. I didn't have any water. I really 'felt' it on Sunday. I don't feel too bad about having 3 drinks, but I realize now that if I'm going to have three drinks then I better slow it down and have water in between or at least, after. So my total for the week (Monday through Sunday) was 5 drinks.

I will have the same goal for this week: only drink on special occasions, and never more than 3 drinks.

I think I need to work on getting a definition of a special occasion, but for now, it's just whenever there is something unusual and out of the ordinary like going to a friend's house, going out to eat, having friends over, having a 'special' meal at home...I'd rather not be really strict about what it means but it definitely involves socializing and definitely NOT drinking at home alone or in a non-social situation. I guess I should also set myself a weekly limit. Last time I tried to limit myself to 10 drinks a week. This time, I want to be more strict and shoot for no more than 7 a week.

Good luck to everyone!

[Maia]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

1. I will be AF until Thursday.
I was AF until Thursday
2. Thursday at dinner I will no have more than 3 drinks (I will try to have only two)
Well....... I had 4 drinks and im not proud of it
3. During the weekend at the beach, I will not have more than 3 drinks in a day and I will not have a drink before 5. Sounds early but I know how it works when we go there and there are drinks at the beach starting as early as 11am!!!
Ok, I did have a drink before 5pm on Saturday, but I only had two drinks that day. Friday I only had a glass of wine and Sunday I didnt have any drink. So, I can say that this was a successful and unusual weekend at the beach for me!!!
4. So, the total number of drinks allowed for me this week is 9. My usual goal is not to have over 7 per week, but being realistic for this particular weekend I'm allowing myself a little more.
I had 8 drinks, so another good news here

Overall, it was a good week. I was scared about going away for the weekend after that little incident on Thursday, I didn’t want that incident discouraging me, but it didn’t! it actually motivated me to do better than my actual goal!!

I have another unusual weekend coming. This weekend, my friends from highschool are coming to town. We usually drink like a lot when we get together, very scaryIt can’t happen this time. These are my goals for the week:

1. No AL until Friday
2. No more than 3 drinks when we get together which is going to be twice
3. No more than 6 drink this week

I’m very anxious about this weekend, not only are my friends coming but my husband will be away for business. He is leaving today and coming back Saturday afternoon and that means that Friday is a day that I have to really plan in advance... Im thinking about telling them to meet on Saturday and not Friday. I had already told the babysitter to come on Friday and had it all planned, but that may not be a good idea, the idea of getting home after dinner and some drinks to find the girls sleeping and my husband away sounds like a very risky scenario, I don’t know. What do you think?

Great job Eve and Frances!!!! I love setting weekly goals in advance! It seems to help a lot!

[reach 4 the starz]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hey everyone

As you will have noticed - i am new here. I introduced my self last we and was advised to post my info on The Long Term Moderator thread...so i did.
I thought that this thread is a really good idea!!!
If you dont mind, i would like to join in too
This was my firs week modding...
I planned to only have 2 drinks each day of the weekend (Fri and Sat) and no more then 6 for the week...
I was a little of goal unfortunatley......I had two drinks fri and two drinks sat then also had 2 on sunday...i cooked a really yummy pan-fried fish meal and white wine goes beautifully with it! lol
So....i ended up having 6 drinks this week like i said but i drank over 3 days and not 2...i guess its not too bad for a first go.

So this week my goal is to be A/F till Sat night..and have no more than 3 drinks that night (two is my aim) and no more then 5 over the week.....Lets see how we go...

Thanks heaps for reading my posts! And good luck to you all!!! You are really really inspiring!
:thanks:

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi everyone - sorry I'm late!

I'm on track for this week - reducing *mostly* from 4 to 3 on the drinking days and steady as she goes on the AF ones. The internal monologue is down, too. I'm not arguing with myself (much), and counting drinks and planning what-and-when is not turning into the onerous task that I was afraid it might.

I have to say, I sometimes feel that I don't really "belong" here - that what I'm doing is not really "moderating". I used to be a daily drinker, I didn't do an AF period before starting here, etc., etc. However, I'm very happy with the way things are going, and very grateful to have found this place. I went to the Moderation Management site that Eve mentioned in another thread and took the online test - with the way I'm drinking now, there is no problem. With the way I was drinking before, I was in the moderate risk category. So :thanks:, everyone!

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

canadiangirl;840612 wrote:
I have to say, I sometimes feel that I don't really "belong" here - that what I'm doing is not really "moderating". I used to be a daily drinker, I didn't do an AF period before starting here, etc.

Well, we're glad you're here canadiangirl but I have to say I'm not quite sure why you think you're not moderating. I guess you need to explain that better. Remember, it's not mandatory to do AF time before attempting to moderate - just something recommended for reasons I posted recently on another thread here.

To drink moderately is a little different regarding who you're listening to. National Institute for Alcohol states 1-7 week is moderating and Moderation Management states 1-9 for women is considered moderate drinking. So, if you were consuming more (heavy drinking) and have cut back and are now within that range then that is moderate drinking.

And daily drinking? What a way for your body to never get a reprieve or a good night's sleep so glad to hear you're not doing that anymore.

Thanks for posting!!
:l
Eve11

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I really hope that what I wrote didn't sound whiney or needy - that's not what I meant, at all. This group has been immensely beneficial to me! I'm so glad to have found it and to have met you all. I've been in counseling (not for AL) and this experience has been far more effective for motivating positive behaviour changes. So, what I want to say is :thanks: for being here! No lack of gratitude on my part.

That being said, what I meant was that I sometimes feel like the bratty kid in that I'm still drinking way more than the rest of you seem to be. At least it's not as much as the rest of you combined. Anymore. !!! I guess I'm just hoping to not cause any trouble for anyone when I come here and say things like "Oh I had such a great week - only 16 drinks". Or 18. Or *blush* 20. It's still awesome as far as my recent history is concerned. Plus, and this is just between you and me, so don't tell anyone, it would be so cool if someone like me could succeed long term at moderating. Bending the rules, that's what I like!

[bear73]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hey there Canadian Girl - it's progress isn't it? Feel good about it - you're on your way.
We all have different goals for what we call moderate drinking - and where we want ot get to.

I started at where you are now (I am a 'problem drinker', causes few probs in terms of mood but never a daily drinker, no job losses,accidents but could be on my way if I carried on).

My plan is,

1. 2 drinks max on Saturday
2. Alcohol free in the week


That's it - I was doing monthly abs but as I am doing weight wacthers and stopping smoking at same time decided something had to give and it was the alcohol free.

I was struggling with diet/being smoke free/being AF - my main goal is stopping smoking, then losing weight then being AF.

Moderating seems like the best way forward for me for now - I was risking failing at all my goals by trying to achieve too many major changes at once.

good day to all to come

[Ask For Help]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

This weeks goals

My plan is to be AF on Sun, Mon Wed Thurs and limit drinks to 2-3 on Tues Fri Sat. I will post on Drinktracker. It will not be easy getting back to 4 AF days/week, but I need to!
I will exercise 3x this week as well and report back next Sunday.

Thanks Eve for this thread.
Ask

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

New Week: April 26-May 2

Morning Modsters.

This accountability thread is really working for me so I hope it helps you as well. My goals this last week were:

No more than 9 drinks per week (that's definitely on the high side!!)

Met my goal as I only had 5 1/2 drinks this week. Pretty happy that I had less than 7!

No more than 3 in a night (my ultimate goal is no more than 2)
Met this goal as I only drank 2 drinks Monday (unplanned dinner out with a new friend), Thursday (drink and 1/2 with relative in town on business) and Saturday night (2 drinks with dinner). I didn't even have my usual Friday night drink(s) so am pleased about that as well.

No more than 3x per week
Although I only drank 3x this week I have decided to revise this goal however as I easily could have drank 4 nights and stayed under 7 drinks for the week. I like to keep to my goals and feel I may need to revise this one, especially when unexpected things come up and I may want a drink here or there (e.g. jewelry party on a Thurs. night with 1 glass of wine or out of the ordinary occasions like that.
Being I've never been a daily drinker I'm going to change this goal to AF 3 nights a week with possibility of drinking 4 nights a week as long as it's under 9 drinks for the week..

What are your plans and goals for moderation success this week?

:l
Eve11