Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

[frances]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi all! Been a busy good week.

My goals were: only drink on special occasions, and never more than 3 drinks on an occasion. Also, no more than 7 drinks in a week.

This week, I had 2 glasses of wine on Saturday night with a nice take-home meal with my husband. Sunday I went to a family party and had 2 glasses of wine there. So, I met my goals (yay).

Interestingly, on Saturday I really started to get a buzz from the wine and normally I would have liked that and poured myself another one! But this time, I realized how I was feeling and decided to switch to water and it was great. Not over-doing it felt really good :-)

Sunday the wine was spread over two hours and I just enjoyed it. In a 'Normal' way. Wow! So far so good!

Best to all!

[frances]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Well, after posting so happily I've been sitting here struggling most of the evening over finishing off the bottle of wine we opened on Saturday. It would only be one glass (if that) - seems innocent enough, right? But I have tried this before and slipped back into old habits with just this sort of thinking (and acting on the thinking) and I don't want that to happen again. So, I finally, just now, poured out the rest of that wine so I didn't have to keep thinking about drinking it! Happy that I did that, but I wish I didn't have that nagging thought - I was hoping I was getting over that kind of thinking.

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

frances;843879 wrote: Well, after posting so happily I've been sitting here struggling most of the evening over finishing off the bottle of wine we opened on Saturday... So, I finally, just now, poured out the rest of that wine so I didn't have to keep thinking about drinking it!

Well, good for you Frances :applaud:as it didn't quite fit in with your goals of occasional drinking. After all, what was the occasion?? To drink alone??

Great will power.

I'm finding a lot more strength to say no to bad choices when I know I'm setting goals I want to keep and being accountable to come back and report how I did. So much easier to let some time pass with urges and they go away and then I'm able to drink moderately as planned.

Thanks for sharing and hoping some more modsters will hop on board Ruby Tuesday's train!!
:grouptrophy:

:l
Eve11

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

First of all - Way to go Frances! :goodjob: One of the really important things for moderating seems, to me at least, to involve setting (realistic) goals ahead of time and then firmly sticking to them.

For me the last week went well. I accidentally had three AF days, which was the goal for the end of the month, so YAY me. It will now stay as part of the permanent plan. So, AF Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday this week and no more than 3 or 4 drinks on each of the other days. Good luck, everyone!

[Sunbeam]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I'm in a hurry at the moment, but I wanted to post my goal to have an AF weekend. Great work, everyone. Eve, thanks for this thread.

[NewOne]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I'd like to join this thread. I'm a noob but have been reading the forum. My goals are no drinking during the week (Thursday evenings are a trigger for me), and no day drinking during the weekend.

I live alone & have gotten in the habit of getting a six pack & doing my chores around the house & yard during the weekend. I don't work Fridays during the day so that is a trigger day for me. Yesterday I made it through the day by getting away from my house while hiring someone to do my yard. A six pack & yard work has become routine for me.

I also gulped down glutamine several times to knock the cravings back a bit....the anxiety was pretty rough though, so I tried to eat regularly & finally had to pop a valerian.

I finally opened a beer about 7:30. Drank 4 1/2, ate then went to bed. No more for me this weekend. I did have to empty the last one this afternoon because I kept thinking about drinking it.

Hopefully I didn't break protocol by posting like this? Maybe I should do an introductory post?

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

:welcome: NewOne,

We love newbies - glad you found MWO and the mod squad (as we call ourselves).

No protocol - we just go with the flow here. Sometimes it's nice to hear a little bit about folks but some people like to stay more private and anonymous than others so share what you feel comfortable sharing.

You can click on a member's name and that allows you to read everything they've posted and to look at their personal profile and pix if they've posted that info.

AF means alcohol free, modding is those attempting to moderate their drinking - just ask if there's an acronym we use that you're not familiar with.

Most folks post daily on our monthly thread and we're setting goals here on Ruby Tuesday and then talking about how we met them. We usually post our goals on Sun or Monday and evaluate how the last week went when we post our new goals, however anyone is welcome to join in at any time.

Sounds like Thursday night is a trigger night for you being you don't work Friday morning.
A lot of drinking is habits that we've formed so we discuss how to break and change those habits. Read many posts and you'll get a lot of help here. We also work a lot on what our triggers are. Mine is drinking at home - I can't open a bottle of wine at home because I have trouble stopping at two. I seem to usually go back for just 1/2 glass more - then another and you can guess what happens. Others do great drinking at home but have more trouble when out so we're all different but have the common denominator of problem drinking.

A good plan for this thread is to post your goals of how many drinks per week you're hoping to cut down to and some folks also post how many times a week and/or how many drinks in day or evening they want to have.

Once again - welcome and don't be shy in letting us know more about you and your goals for success :sofa:

:l
Eve11

[frances]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Good morning all! Thanks for the encouraging words last week! It's so nice to have support :-)

My goals this week (and every week) were to only drink on 'special occasions' and never more than 3 on an occasion.

This week I didn't fare as well - did fine during the week. Friday went out to dinner and had one glass of wine. Saturday went to a friend's house - she was having a bbq - and had 4 gin and tonics. Over 4 hours though, so not too bad; but, I did not meet my goal of sticking to 3 drinks. I know what the problem was...I just didn't go there with the plan to only drink 3. I just wasn't thinking about it. When I was driving home, I realized - woops I forgot my rule is to drink no more than 3! So, lesson learned: ALWAYS review the rules with myself before going to an event where drinking could be involved!

Sunday late afternoon - went to the same friend's house - she is having some personal issues right now so we had a nice talk over 2 glasses of wine (actually closer to 2.5 or 3 - I think she topped me off when I went to the bathroom at one point!).

Not a bad week though - hope everyone is doing well! Have a great week!

Welcome New One and good luck to you! This is a great place to be for support and to help you keep on track!

Frances

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Frances, thanks for discussing and posting your new goals for the week of May 3-10.

My goals for last week were:
No more than 9 drinks per week (that's definitely on the high side!!)


Met my goal as I only 7 this week. I still consider 7 -9 on the high side of moderating and would like to get down to 4-5.

No more than 3 in a night (my ultimate goal is no more than 2)

Even though I technically met this goal - I had an experience I want to share which made me feel that I didn't accomplish things 100% the way I wanted.

We went to a big potluck dinner on Friday night. I brought a very expensive bottle of white wine for my 2 drinks and to share the rest with others. After the 2nd drink I experienced that awful craving that I have called "the vampire effect" where I felt compelled to have another. I had a non-al drink trying to fight off the urge but it was intense and I hadn't taken or brought L-glut along (big mistake!). So, I went back for a 3rd and it was a wine I had never heard of. There must have been sulfites or something in that wine that didn't agree with me because I had the worst hangover the next day after those 3 glasses. I have learned over time that 3 is very often just too much for me and to pay the price of the HA, remorse (because I had a hangover) etc. just made me feel pretty awful.

I was going to be AF the next night on Sat. but plans changed and we went out to a new French Restaurant. Had 2 glasses over the course of the evening and it was great and didn't have the intense craving for the deadly third. So, total of 7 for the week which is acceptable but didn't like the hangover experience. So, New goals:

No more than 7 drinks per week.


No more than 2 in a night

:l
Eve11

[canadiangirl]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi NewOne! :welcome:

Well, I pretty much messed up this past week. Didn't do 3 AF days as planned, only two. And managed to drink more than I planned on two occasions, once by 1 drink and once by two. That latter time was a classic case of triggers and poor choices. I was alone for the evening, and had lost a gold bracelet (gift from hubby) the day before doing my huge gardening project, so spent all day with a metal detector, undoing my digging and planting, looking for it. Unsuccessfully. I was upset and tired and really wanted a glass of wine... So I stupidly thought that I would have *just one* and then go see a movie at the rep theatre, none the worse for wear. HA! I didn't go out, and had the whole bottle all by myself. It was exactly what Eve and Frances had been talking about a few days previously. What a maroon...

Anyway - AF tonight (Monday), tomorrow, and Thursday. Perhaps Sunday, to make up for last week. Three-four drinks on the other nights at max. NO exceptions.:no:

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

frances;847705 wrote: I did not meet my goal of sticking to 3 drinks. I know what the problem was...I just didn't go there with the plan to only drink 3. I just wasn't thinking about it. When I was driving home, I realized - woops I forgot my rule is to drink no more than 3! So, lesson learned: ALWAYS review the rules with myself before going to an event where drinking could be involved!

Frances,
Thanks for sharing. I shared on another thread an idea to actually carry tickets or make them on the computer and use them for your drinks. So...1 drink - throw your ticket away.
2 drinks...throw your ticket away. Going for the 3rd? No ticket - now you're forced to really think about having that 3rd or not.

Another idea. Carry a drink card (like a food journal) and write the date, time, drink, who you're with and where you are. Write your mood...why you're drinking. Home alone frustrated about losing your bracelet, out with friends having a nice dinner, etc. This will may help you determine why you went over your desired limit or may help you to stay focused and in control of your desired limit.

Thanks for sharing. You too CG!!
:l
Eve11

[bear73]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

I am planning to do 2 weeks alcohol free now from today - I've put on weight,been blue, stopped counting calories, and been smoking. Basically gave up on all my goals - I have felt really blue though - hoping it's the changeover between citalopram and prozac!

I drank every day last week apart from Friday - all those extra calories - and no exercise - only 2 skating sessions last week.

New start is needed, I know I will feel so much better.
I am off today so plan to walk into town, look at potential new work clothes and buy a few bits that I need.Skating later for me.

[Eve11]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi Bear,

I know you shared before the struggle with too many goals at one time and that in itself can be a little depressing.

The roller derby skating sounds SO fascinating. I wish I could come watch you and root for you. Maybe think about focusing on that more and what it involves (whethers its preparing more for races, competing more, etc.) The smoking of course interferes with breathing which interferes with a better skating performance so concentrate on that issue and how much healthier you'll feel without smoking.

Drinking is the challenge but I find under the wrong circumstances all it is is a depressant (thus the blues) and a huge demotivator ( you may be inclined to practice skating or compete less). I'd say focus the energy on the thing you love (skating) and it may be easier to tame those other vices.

PM anytime if you need a one on one friend.
:l
Eve11

[Sunbeam]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi Everybody,
I love this thread, even though I have barely posted here. It is a wonderful idea to have a place intended for discussion of goals. Speaking of goals, I did not meet my goal of an AF weekend. I made a poor choice of a weekend to accomplish this, with two special events: a performance of my choral group, and a special gardening event. So next weekend I will not just try to be AF, but I WILL be successful. I have no trouble staying AF every week day; when I do have something to drink, it is usually on Saturday.

Bear, I agree with Eve: you, like all of us, need a big motivator. For me, I want to be DONE wasting time with alcohol. It in the past it prevented me from doing things I truly enjoy. Focusing on the skating may enable everything else to happen. I'm not sure if you have mentioned your eating plan, but you should avoid those time-limited things called diets, and remember that you can't eat too many fruits and vegetables.

CanadianGirl, I have often used this site for my personal journal of my drinking problem. Don't be afraid to keep trying, but be sure to keep looking for new strategies if the old ones are not working.

Frances and CanadianGirl, you are pretty new to this modding thing, so you should expect some trial and error as you find your own strategies.

Eve, thank you the most for all your posts here. It sounds like this thread is a powerful tool for you, and your arms are open as you share the strength with us.

[Ask For Help]

Ruby Tuesday weekly meeting

Hi all: I wanted to check in;
My goals for week of April 25 were:


My plan is to be AF on Sun, Mon Wed Thurs and limit drinks to 2-3 on Tues Fri Sat.
I traded an AF Thurs for a Friday but met my goals of 4 AF days. I think I did one day w/ 4 drinks, but overall I"m pleased as punch as I've not had enough AF days in a while.
I will post on Drinktracker.
I posted for the wrong week and then missed posting the last few days of the month; can do better.

I will exercise 3x this week as well and report back next Sunday.

I exercised 2 days (walking and biking) and went to the golf range one day, but I don't consider that true exercise because it's not aerobic.

For this week my moderating goals were for 4 AF days again but I'm not off to a good start:

I planned AF days Sun or Monday and had 2 drinks each day (Blah). SO now I plan to be AF on Tues Wed Thurs ( no social activities planned) and to only drink on Fri or Sat if I'm out with friends, otherwise AF.

Exercise: realistically: Yoga on Tues, Golf on Wed and a walk or yoga Friday after work and then biking on Saturday. I'm working 9 - 10 hour days and getting exercise in is very tough.

Will use Drink Tracker and report in next weekend.
Ask