mod squad oh my! july!

[Sunbeam]

mod squad oh my! july!

Hey Frances,
Glad to hear you are doing well! Thanks for posting.

[Guest]

mod squad oh my! july!

frances;921441 wrote: Hi everyone - on the latest topic I just wanted to say that I've never really taken offense to anyone's comments about abstinence - I take those comments for what they are (i think) meant to convey - that abstinence is truly the only way for many people. I truly think that people who feel that way don't have a problem with modding per se, nor with people who mod. But they might be frustrated because they know it won't work for everyone though and so maybe they feel like it's something to be discouraged.

I hope all modders or attempting to mod are doing well! Things are going OK here - right after I got got back from vacatino I had a mini-vacation but did much better on that and since I got home I have been back on track, and happy to report that!
Keep in touch everyone!!

Frances

I so agree too. The problem with alcohol issues is that an integral part of alcoholism is denial, and alcoholics jump at any chance of an idea they might be able to moderate. This can lengthen, and nearly always without fail prolongs their suffering. So we have a real problem with those who may have a drink problem then convincing themselves falsely that they can moderate. Do we stand back and say "Yes moderation is something you might try" and let that person put themselves at great risk?However there will be some people for whom moderation is a way.

It is up to each individual to make their own decision, but it doesn't stop others being concerned for them. It all depends upon whether or not you have truely crossed that line. I know after hundreds of modding attempts that it isn't for me. And I've made the abstenance choice - but that's me only.

[frances]

mod squad oh my! july!

Hi Sunbeam! Good to hear from you too! And thanks for your comments UK. I agree that it just depends on whether the person trying to mod has crossed that line or not. I think I have not, and that I can be fine modding. AL has done nothing particularly destructive in my life except perhaps a slight hangover here and there, and maybe a serious one about once a year or so - but, I did develop a habit of daily drinking, and sometimes more than I thought I should, and I began to worry that I would progress to crossing that line if I continued how I was going. I witnessed a friend's mom cross the line not too long ago after years and years of 'functional' drinking and that is one of the things that triggered me to take a closer look at my drinking. I believe moderation is possible for me, and I don't think (though I guess how can you really know?) that it is denial making me feel this way. But I totally understand the concern (and experience) of others that many people may be fooling themselves if they try to head down the moderation path. You have every right to express that opinion - but, as you know, it will ultimately have to be the decision of the individual one way or the other, and it's rare that any advice will impact that until somehow they come to it on their own. But no harm in trying (well, maybe there is some harm as some of these posts have indicated!). I would recommend to any modders that seemingly negative words about moderation be taken in context and that they are spoken with your best interests at heart and (my assumption) not at all something to be taken as a personal criticism - keep in mind, everyone is different and though moderation doesn't, at all, work for many with alcohol problems, it can be a viable option for some. But be honest with yourself when you assess your own situation.

With that, I think I'll take Sunbeam's advice not to really speak to much about this topic so as not to generate negative feelings or perpetuate them. This is a modders thread after all, so there should be nothing but support here for moderation as that is the whole idea!

Frances

[canadiangirl]

mod squad oh my! july!

Well, I almost wish I had never started this, except for the fact that dialogue is always good, and *often* furthers understanding. So thanks for everyone who spoke up. I understand the situation a little better now, and the other comments, well... water off a duck's back from now on.

I agree with you Frances - I don't think I've crossed that line, either, and I don't think it's denial telling me that. The only problem AL ever caused me was simply drinking too much of it for good mental and physical health. However, I think there may be several lines that can be crossed in the course of creating a drinking problem. For instance, I don't imagine I will ever be a normie, even if I manage to act like one. If that makes sense? The sometimes-used definition of a "true" moderator being someone who drinks a couple of times a year and couldn't care less one way or the other. Nope, not me. Not ever, I don't expect. It will likely always be something for me to be vigilant about. Maybe it's a bit like a lifelong overeater (not a problem of mine, so I'm reaching here), but that the habits are so ingrained that it takes a degree of peripheral awareness that normal eaters don't need... Anyway, I'm babbling here. Have a great August, everyone!!!