Hi Gidget,
Thanks for the reply.
I am from Melbourne myself, but not really lived there for a very long time. I still go there a fair bit because all my family are there. In fact my decision to do something about my drinking originated at a family party at the end of last November at my Mother's house in Moorabbin. These family events are big drinking occasions. One of the reasons I left Melbourne was to avoid getting into the heavy drinking scene, but the funny thing is I always managed to find another one wherever I lived.
So I spent some time in Wellington, NZ (where I met my wife), then back to Oz for awhile and going into a pretty low drinking lifestyle in Canberra while the kids were young and I was kept busy with parental duties, a demanding job in computing, and doing a lot of running, including a few marathons.
Then I felt like a change and headed over to Edinburgh (1989) then onto Norwich for a couple of years, back to Oz (Melbourne) then back to the UK and lived in the Reading, Berkshire area for 10 years. Then back to Oz (Brisbane), bought a business, lost a load of money, went back into computing and here I am back in Canberra at the tender age of 60, working hard back at the grindstone.
I did some VERY serious drinking during my time in the UK, those pubs are so darn tempting. Also when I was in Brisbane I found that to be a very easy place to drink too much alcohol, with all the outdoor venues and the hot weather that makes one thirsty all the time.
I have always tried to fight my tendency to drink too much, and have had mixed results using grim determination and a white knuckle approach, never knowing if this day was the day I would slip up. In London we worked hard and played hard. My work mates would drink several pints every day without fail after work before the long grind home on the tube to the mainline stations and then the long haul out to our destinations. Its amazing my marriage survived those years. I probably went years where there was always some alcohol in my blood stream. But everyone was doing it from the top bosses down.
My personal problem was that with little warning, any of those sessions could lead to a bender. Maybe only once out of a hundred sessions. And then I would arrive home at all hours, unsure where I had been or what I had done. Luckily I am a fairly big chap so no physical harm came to me wandering around London in that state.
Since coming back to Canberra about 5 years ago I have been pretty good really. I tend to identify big drinkers and big drinking groups and avoid them. I am happy to spend more time doing stuff like going to the cinema with my wife or just veging out watching TV.
But its really wierd how even knowing all this stuff, I got to the point last year where we would have some wine with our meals, and then sometimes I would crack open a second bottle of wine, and even a third on occasion. I sometimes was up half the night and then had to do it hard at work the next day and really hit the mint lollies big time.
So without noticing it, I had drifted back into drinking every night, binging on rubbish food and snacks, not getting enough sleep or exercise and becoming a complete slob. It was showing in my face and my gut, and I overheard a few disparging remarks at my expense.
Abstinence is not for me because that would be admitting that a substance was stronger than me. I have now been moderating for a couple of months and its going great. I had one night with 15 drinks and that was something that I expected and could not really avoid without hurting an old mate's feelings (from my London days). I took the precaution of booking the day after as a rec day from work, not meeting up until 5:30 PM and ensuring that I had taxi fare home. I was never really out of control that night because I was coming off weeks of low to zero intake. Not like the old days where I would already have been primed from the days leading up to the session. The 15 drinks were consumed between 5:30 PM and 4 AM so not really a fast pace, and I was a bit merry at the end but not intoxicated and I was glad to get into the taxi home.
And I really hated having that 15 drinks. I think its over for me. Similar to when I quit smoking. One day, I was standing on Reading station in freezing rain, coughing my lungs out and trying to light a cigarette to smoke while I waited for my train. Suddenly I just thought to myself, "this is stupid". threw my cigarettes and lighter into a bin and never smoked again.
I suspect that I am going to get to that point with alcohol at some point.
The scenario now is that basically I dont drink, but occasionally I do drink and on each of those occasions I have to really justify to myself what the purpose of the drinking is and what I hope to achieve by drinking.
By contrast, as recently as last November, I was drinking every day and had to have a major mental battle with myself to justify why that particular day should be an alcohol free day.
So its totally turned around now. Not drinking has also allowed me to go on a diet and I have lost 10 kilos since half way through December, and now doing some very long walks with my dogs and have about 3,000 of my favourite songs loaded onto my MP3 to listen to while I walk.
I would be VERY annoyed if I am ever intoxicated again. Its hard to see it happening really.
Regards,
Kevin
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