just starting out

[drinkingal]

hi all, I have decided to give modding a go. now I know that some people say get some time under your belt before doing it, but I can't seem to manage that beyond about 5 days sober and I dont want to get caught up in beating myself up about that and getting into a cycle of trying and failing to abstain so Im trying a different approach.

I have picked two days a week that will be af for me, that's sunday and wednesday. So far this week I've stayed af both days - Wednesday was really hard and I really wanted to drink but by 7pm I was over it. once I accepted that I was staying sober and stopped fighting it, I was fine and that was a real eye opener for me and something I hope I can use in the future.

wish me luck :thanks:

[Gidget]

just starting out

Hiya DG,
Welcome to the Modding forum and I wish you the best of luck!
I personally though ( I know you've heard it before ) truly believe one needs AF time up their sleeve before Modding. Why do I believe this? Well Mostly because I think we need to identify why it is we cannot go a week, month etc without a drink? There are plenty of people out there that can do so, easily and happily. I personally found it very helpful to put down the drink for an extended period of time , to work out what exactly my relationship with alcohol was about. Each to their own though, I hope your plan works for you : )
SJ :

[Kimberley]

just starting out

Hi Drinkingal,

The only people who can mod are those who can truly control their drinking to some extent. If you can't manage more than 5 days sober, you might want to reconsider if you are able to control your drinking really at all.

Another one of the reasons people commit to a month sober to start with is it really gives you a chance to see the benefits of being sober - something you can't really appreciate when only doing it for a few days at a time.

I can't mod at all - tried it to the utmost. It was actually quite a relief when i realised that. Modding is hard work!

Good luck with your plan though - i hope it does work out for you.
K x

[drinkingal]

just starting out

Thanks gidget and kimberley for the comments. If I could go alcohol free for a while I would prefer to do that but it's something I havent been able to do (and Ive been trying for months) and really it's just making me feel like a failure. I dont expect this to be easy but Im hoping it will be a start in the right direction at least. Just the thought of modding seems less overwhelming right now than going af.

I probably have at least half a dozen reasons for drinking but I feel like the main one is just habit, I like to drink at the end of the day and wash away the stress and worries of life, and just relax. It's almost like my security blanket, it's the time I feel like everything is good and relaxed and my happy place, but I know it's affecting my life too much and I know I drink way too much to be healthy and if I can just get used to being sober a bit I might feel more comfortable with it (that's my thinking anyway).

I'll update how I'm going next week, hopefully I can say I didnt drink another sunday or wednesday :thumbs:

[888]

just starting out

I just joined this... and have been thinking about doing something for a long, long time about my drinking. Years ago I read something that at the time worked for me - for a while. It was "two and five program". No more than two drinks in any one sitting and no more than five drinks a week. I stuck to the two drink part for a long time but, had a real hard time with the five a week. Don't remember why I did not stick with that plan... and now I will go AF in June; then maybe back to the "two and five" thing. Good luck to you.

[Tipplerette]

just starting out

Drinking Gal, I can relate to you and am proud of you for ridding yourself of the little voice that keeps calling you a failure. You can always try to abstain for the required 30 days in a few months when you are used to going without occasionally and have found something to do on the non-drinking days. I have been trying a similar approach with some success although it's still early in the game. I, too, can't seem to go more than five or six days before a social event comes calling and I pick up the drink. What I have done is promised myself one thing. I will honour myself. Period. What I mean by that is that I will be good to me. Being good to me or honouring myself means having that glass of wine on the balcony or with dinner, but that's it. It means getting a little exercise every day. It means having that piece of chocolate but not the whole bar. Follow? So far it seems to work.

I was getting tired, like you, of constantly calling myself a failure. So with the thought pattern changing to doing what's good for me rather than berating myself for messing up, I seem to have a better handle on my drinking and other health related matters. I do matter. I am important. If I don't take care of this body and mind, no one else will. So I encourage you to honour yourself and be good to you. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you will do what is right and healthy for you today... and we know that moderation in everything is best.

All this to say I was not a really heavy drinker; red wine at dinner with hubby and my real challenge was not opening the second bottle. Like you, I hated that fuzzy, tired feeling in the mornings after I went a little overboard.

Last night I marinated some salmon, bbq'd it, ate it with 2 glasses of wine, asked hubby to clean kitchen while I took the kayak in the river for twenty minutes and I did this sober. Felt good.

Good luck to you and although I agree with all the comments above about the thirty days of abstinence, I totally understand what you are doing. We are not big on willpower but another approach sometimes is what we need to jump start our new, healthy life.

Take care.

[rebirth]

just starting out

Hi drinkgal,

Well done. You are going in the right direction. At least you have started!Some great advice has been posted so there is not much more to add except that I had to try out lots of different ways to find the one that worked for me. It's all trial and error and one size does not fit all.
Best of luck. x