April Mod Squad

[j-vo]

April Mod Squad

Hi Cherbear,
I just joined this thread as well. Good to see you here. I hope your journey will work for you. Both Rebirth and I have purchased a very useful book called Responsible Drinking. It has so many great tools and it's a book where you can apply your own thoughts, like a workbook. Although I'm almost finished with it, I find myself going back to different sections and rereading. Of course, that's one of the ways I'm keeping on top of things is to make my moderation goals a priority just like I did when I attended AA - that was priority. My goals may have changed, but not my persistence. That's what it takes for us non-normies. Glad to have you here. I think we could all use the support.

[Eve11]

April Mod Squad

Hi all,
Welcome Cherbear, Your goals are very responsible healthwise as the National Institure for Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism states women should have no more than 7 drinks per week (and not all in one night LOL!). J-Vo, I too liked what Gidget had to say and I have a bit of a problem too with the whole concept of powerlessness. Don't like that type of thinking. Our minds are fascinating things and we have the power do to great things.

Looks like we're pulling together another strong supportive group. KC where are you? Would love to hear from you.

Going to post my goals on Ruby Tuesday. More later!
:l
Eve11

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

Good morning j-vo, eve and cherbear

Cherbear it's great to see you on this thread!! We are getting a really nice group together. How wonderful!

j-vo I am going to get my Responsible Drinking book out and posts some of it's tips on here as I think it will be very helpful in keeping us in the right path. Will do this later when i have more time.

Well ladies I past a major test last night. My BF and I split up after a row and I DID NOT DRINK on it!! What a miracle??!

I admit that I pigged out on food but at least i have a clear head today. Now thats a GOOD start to the day.

Have a lovely day all. Will check in later

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

Here is an extract from the Responsible Drinking book by Frederick Rotgers:

Most People with Alcohol Problems Are Not Alcoholics
Due to questions about the adequacy of the nation?s systems for dealing with alcohol problems, the NIAAA (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism) called upon the prestigious Institute of medicine (IOM) of the National Academy of Sciences to study and report on this area.

In its 1990 report, IOM found that for every one alcoholic, there are approximately three problem drinkers who are at risk for serious health problems as a result of their drinking, but who do not meet the criteria for the clinical diagnosis of alcoholism, which is called alcohol dependence?..

..These problem drinkers have some problems related to their control over their drinking, and they may drink often and excessively, and may even take dangerous risks like drinking and driving. But they have not developed the near total and consistent loss of control over drinking, and the series of repeated negative consequences related to it, that marks alcoholism. A classic problem drinker is the college student who engages in binge drinking or the housewife whose nightly glass of wine turns into a nightly bottle. These problem drinkers can usually stop or moderate when they wish to.

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

Responsible Drinking book by Frederick Rotgers:

...The choice of moderation or abstinence for each person should be a considered one, based on looking at the pros and cons of each, and taking full responsiblity for each one's own actions...

Key phases of the process of becoming moderate are as follows:

A period of abstinence of 30 days or more is useful early in the process. This period starts to break old habits, provides a space in which to prepare for practicing moderation and has other benefits.

Guidlines for modration which should be learned and internalized early on include:

Not drinking for more than three to four days per week

For women, an upper limit of 3 drinks per occassion and not more than 9 per week

For men, an upper limit of four drinks per occassion and not more than14 per week

Alcohol should be consumed at a slow pace , keeping the blood alcohol concentration under 0.55 percent

Dont drink and drive

A key aspect of becoming a moderator is that alcohol becomes a much smaller , though enjoyable, part of life

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

They were just a few pointers and I will shut up now. x

[j-vo]

April Mod Squad

Morning everyone. I just wanted to post quickly from work (on my new phone!) That it seems to be coming together for a strong supportive group. Just wanted to say that's agreat idea rebirth to quote things from resp. Drink book. I will read more closely later from home. Have a gray day and yes, you deserve that cupcake!

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

Hi j-vo,

I ate the cupcake and a whole bag of tortilla chips...and other unhealthy foods. It's not good that I am eating like this but I am feeling rather sad and would rather eat than drink myself stupid.

This is an ideal trigger to let go so I have to remain focused. It is actuelly helping me to write things down in this thread. I dont feel so alone...

[Cherbear]

April Mod Squad

Hi everyone!

Yay, I'm excited about this thread. I plan to order the book , thanks Rebirth for the tid bits from it.

I feel I'm on my way after the long time of abstinence. I love what it says about having AL be just a very small "enjoyable" part of my life. That is my Goal!
I think my main concern is not having the obsessive thinking about "that glass of wine" that I used to have come back.

Feeling really good about it right now but I'm early in this moderation thing. 2 weeks.

Rebirth, triggers are a big part, if I decide I am not going to retreat from feelings with Alcohol and embrace them ( even with a few cupcakes thrown in) I think that is a big element for my success.

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

So Cherbear,
What are your moderation plans? Will you only drink weekends only etc? Have you left AA? What made you leave AA?

I left because I couldnt accept step one ( powerless over alcohol). When I had my first slip, I was surprised to see that I had no compulsion to get drunk, nor the desire to carry on drinking the next day. It worried me because AA said that it isnt posssible for me to moderate but I can go to the pub and just have two drinks ( The Big book test on whether you are an alcoholic or not)

[Cherbear]

April Mod Squad

Hi Rebirth,
I plan to drink only 7 drinks a week spread out. My plan is to not drink at all on days that I work the next day, and I work 3-4 days a week . Drinking much slower and enjoying it more like you said is also a big goal, no more cheap wine to just get the buzz.

I'm not sure why I quit AA, I moved and had to start over with new groups and never clicked , but also had started feeling frustrated with it also. I really a lot of the aspects of AA and I learned so much about myself that I am so glad I went. I need to do some reflection about the powerless issue , I never thought that was a problem for me but obviously it is! I want to feel that I can control this issue without it consuming my life. I felt a lot of freedom when I wasn't drinking , not worrying about how much I was drinking , blah blah blah but being abstinent for 9 months taught me that I can do a lot without drinking. And reflecting on why are started up again, I think I just plain missed a good glass of wine.

I need to do some more thinking about all of this but this is a good place to just let it out.

thx for this thread now.

[j-vo]

April Mod Squad

Hi Eve, Cher, Rebirth, and any new modders,

Thank you Rebirth for citing information from Resonsible Drinking. It's such a great book to have. I keep it close-by, as I read it several times a week. It's a good book as a reference for tools, and to reread, because as time passes, we forget good tips. You had a major trigger, and a sad relationship issue and you handled it so well. Congratulations on that! Keep pigging out and get on the treadmill or go to the gym to release the stress.

I liked all of the quotes, especially, "These problem drinkers can usually stop or moderate when they wish to." I found I have been able to do this. I will watch myself closely, and plan, plan, plan. I don't think it would have been possible without having been AF for 6 months. I think that was key for me. Learning how to live without the drink, relying on it when bad days happened...So I don't drink when I have a bad day. Drinks are reserved for special occasions, weekends, and yes, counted, measured...

Another key thing for me has been drinking slowly. I used to gulp. I can actually take 45 min. to an hour for a glass of wine. Then I feel the need for water. I used to drink so fast, there was no time for water or I didn't reailze I was thirsty for it.

Drinking is a much smaller, though a enjoyable part of life. I am cautious of it still, and hopefully always will be.

Cher, yes, the obsession has been lifted for me through extended abstinence. I think I need to have a lot of AF days in between any drinking sessions so that obsession does not return. But there are tools that we can use for our obsessive thoughts if they creep up.

Take care modders!

[rebirth]

April Mod Squad

Hi j-vo and Cher,

We seem to be following the same techniques and we all agree that an amount of abstinence is crucial for breaking old habits. I couldnt possibly moderated without abstaining for a while.

Drinking slowly is so important as it gives your body time to react properly. I also stick to one drink an hour...and I allow myself a maximum of 14 units per week.

My first delemma ( break up with the BF) and I have not lost control. I refuse to lose control!

So biscuits here I come!

[j-vo]

April Mod Squad

Keep being strong Rebirth!
I was rereading some of my Responsible Drinking tools. Eve also has a good tools thread for modding I just read the other day. Some of the responsible drinking tools...

1. measure (not many places give you a 5 oz. glass of wine. It's usually more)
2. count - have a goal - 1, 2, 3? When I frist began modding, I was setting my goal for three since I only drink twice a week, but I thought, that's more alcoholic thinking - getting the most I can for my night. So I set it at 1 or 2, and even if I go over that, I still haven't gone over the moderation limit.
3. eating - I never ate much when I drank, and I used to get sloppy. Munching on something, not necessarily having a five-course meal, but something to share and tastes good with a glass of wine or a beer.
4. Drink water before, inbetween, after. What's the rush! After the second glass of wine or beer, it doesn't taste as good as the first, so don't rush through.

That's just a start. More to come...

Something else I was reading in a new section was food for thought:

Take pride in each step of your movement away from problems with alcohol. Reward yourself! Get your nails done. Buy a new shirt, shoes (I have a habit of rewarding myself with this). Starbucks! Love a good cup of coffee. It kinda grew on me in my AA time!!!

Another quote: "I have learned that although at times alcohol seemed to rule my life, it was only a small facet and I always had the 'power' to refocus its role."

Another quote: "When drinking, the positive benefits (that warm, relaxed buzz) almost always happens during the first two drinks, max three. After that, the negatives of drinking kick in." I need to remind myself before the second drink that it is the last "good" one.

I hope it's ok to throw out this information for discussion. It helps me also to think about them as I type them.

Have a great night!

[Cherbear]

April Mod Squad

Hi J-vo,
thanks for the tips,
I especially liked the one where the "positive benefits are usually from the first 2 drinks only!!! then its all negative.. definitely true for me and a great reminder. Need a reminder of what is the "alcoholic thinking sinking in" Measuring is key for me too, I used to grab the bottle and just pour a little more, then a little more.

Have a great evening.
I have some raspberry plants I need to get in the garden!!
My new home will have a fabulous garden and I will not be dragging a wine glass out to the garden like I used to.