May Modders

[j-vo]

May Modders

The title of the book is Control Your Drinking and you may not need to quit. Have a great day!

[rebirth]

May Modders

Hi j-vo,
What other books have you read on modding and what would you recommend? I am currently reading Drinking- a love story by Caroline knapp. It's so compelling!! Have you read it?

[Cherbear]

May Modders

I've read that book drinking - a love story... very good.

eastcoaster, it is so scary to black out, you never get "used to it" and that definitely defines my need for vigilance. I remember one time during my abstinence period I asked an old high school/ college friend if she ever blacked out in college and she said No in a rather shocking way. meaning that must not be "normal" which I always thought it was.

rebirth. My raspberries are starting to grow!!! yay! even with our coldest April on record here.
Do you celebrate "Mother's day" in the UK?? Mother's day is this Sunday here. I love it, my time for my daughters to wait on me. Its especially nice now that they know how to cook ))

[EastCoastDave]

May Modders

Hi Rebirth - I am 31. I actually realized that my math was slightly off, I had over 3 years of successful modding.

We had champagne at work in the middle of the afternoon today to celebrate a co-worker's upcoming wedding. I was able to stick to my plan and avoided the champers - I offered the excuse that I was going to the gym right after work. Phew!

[Eve11]

May Modders

rebirth,
Saw you story about the A.A. situation and sorry that happened. People in A.A. are hung up on the disease theory which reinforces powerlessness. We who are moderating are taking the behavior modification approach. We don't think we are powerless but we know we have created bad habits with our drinking and we want to change our behavior and make better choices (such as not drinking until we get hangovers!).

I knew a girl once who traded her AL addiction for A.A. addiction. We were at a family reunion one time (just a one night reunion) and the siblings hadn't all gotten together for years and she left to go to an A.A. meeting! She was very strong in her recovery and wasn't battling with not drinking. She was just addicted to the meetings!! Crazy stuff. Die hard A.A.ers will never get moderation so it's best to never go there with them in conversation, so try to avoid it when possible.

Sounds like you are doing awesome, and J-Vo, glad you're back again and posting a lot.
:l
Eve11

[lolo1234]

May Modders

May

Hi all,
Would love to join you guys this month. I really want this moderation thing to work out for me. I just don't want to spend my days in AA meetings or thinking about drinking all the time. Is it just me or do you guys start getting cravings in the later afternoon? It seems like when I wake up in the morning the last thing I want to do is drink.
Anyhow I'm going through a really rough spot in my life right now. I just got officially divorced. I lost my job 3 months ago. Right after I separated from my husband I got into another relationship and that ended badly. I get annoyed with myself for feeling depressed or anxious but then I think.. who the hell wouldn't be if they were in my shoes!!! Blah. But please don't feel sorry for me. I need some words to pick me up right now.
So I had planned on not drinking for 60 days. I got to 4. Then last night I felt alot of anxiety/excitement and I stopped to buy some beer. Drank 4 then had some rum. I think I had a total of 8 drinks. So yeah I went from feeling good yesterday to feeling some anxiety and then waking up this morning and feeling DEPRESSED as hell. This is why I need to get a handle on my drinking because this vicious cycle is not helping me at all. Anyways I don't know if this is the right place to post my life story because I really need to "talk some things out" and I figure if I get used to coming on here I can post when I'm having the urge rather than following through on it.
So my plan for this week...no alcohol until Saturday when I'm going to a food and wine festival. At which I will be ok drinking moderately (2 glasses of wine) because I'll be with a friend.

[Eve11]

May Modders

Cherbear;1108658 wrote: Hi everyone,
I am NOT a normie. as a normie would not be thinking much of any of this issue we are dealing with.

Good point Cherbear.

We who come here know we have a problem but unlike severe alcoholics or alcohol dependent people, we know we are abusers and are not "normal" drinkers. However, with learning to break bad habits, there definitely are some folks who can learn to moderate successfully.

Welcome WCDave and we hope to learn more about you as you learn more about us.
:l
Eve11

[rebirth]

May Modders

Eve- Yeah you sure are right.They don’t understand the word moderation. Yesterday my AA friend told me that her sponsor has told her to stay away from me because I am “drinking”. How condescending. Her sponsor is basically telling her that she is weak and that I am evil because I will encourage her to drink. Whenever I meet up with my AA friend I NEVER drink in her company out of respect and also because its NOT an issue to drink or not to drink. We drink diet coke and enjoy each other's company. So Bollocks to her sponsor! Sorry for swearing

ECDave- Good going there. I never drink during the week and I stick with it. I have never used the gym excuse so thats a good one. I usually tell people that i am giving my liver a break. A bit morbid but I don’t get alot of backlash after that. So did you go to the gym?? Lol

Cher- How wonderful to have raspberries! Do you have the black or red ones? We had Mothers Day a few weeks back. It’s lovely to be pampered! I got a lovely chocolate heart from my six year old son that said “ I love you more than you tinck”. I swore I would never eat it but it was devoured within a week. lol

[Eve11]

May Modders

rebirth,
I LOVE the chocolate story!
I can also SO relate to your story about your friend being advised to stay away. So unfortunate that so many of the sponsors and people in the program seem to go out of control. Ofcourse one must be diligent with who they hang with as it would be too tempting to go out for an evening with a heavy drinker but a friend who drinks moderately and doesn't drink in their company??? They are way overboard.

Lolo1234 you have come to the right place. No problem to share your story as we all have here or there. If you jump around the postings here, you'll learn plenty about us.

Gang, we are sounding strong and more focused on staying fit and healthy than battling the bottle too much at this point. I am going to lose that last 10 pounds I don't like so am going to start on a program this next week which requires very few carbs and alcohol is a no no. Won't be a problem at all but an alcohol dependent person would be struggling. So, we have to remember that sometimes when we feel others are thinking we can't do it, can't mod well. We can!! Just change some of those bad habits, watch out for triggers, take caution with who we hang with too (but don't go overboard like some of the A.A. sponsors). Here's to a great week.
:l
Eve11

[rebirth]

May Modders

Hi lolo
Welcome aboard. The more the merrier! Have you tried to stop drinking before?
I joined AA about three years ago and managed to not drink during the week for a few days but I then went beserk on the weekends. I use to wake up every morning determined that I wouldnt drink a bottle of wine that day but come afternoon I just caved in. I would drive to the off licence with angry tears and buy a bottle of wine. It went on like that for years.

But through trial and error I stopped drinking for five months and now I moderate very successfully. But I do remember the afternoon cravings...I dont have them anymore. Thank God!

[rebirth]

May Modders

Hi eve,
cross post!

[rebirth]

May Modders

Hey Eve I am also on a mission to lose ten pounds! I have lost two since I have started.Ii am on a calorie controlled diet and I am exercising like crazy.

I want to look like a yummy mummy by summer. We can do this!!

[lolo1234]

May Modders

Hi Eve, thanks for the welcome.

Rebirth, Yes I have tried to stop drinking several times. And I've racked up some time here and there. I've had up to 1.5 years of being completely sober... I was going to AA for about a year of this. And I've also had some years of moderation. My moderation period was when my kids were babies. I know what is holding me back right now... its not having a job to go to in the morning. Its having too much free time.

[j-vo]

May Modders

Morning Modders,
Well, it's another rainy and cool day here. I'm really ready for some sunshine!

Rebirth, the only book I have is responsible drinking, but I'd like to continue locating more, maybe people that have used the mod. tools and have been successful with it. That's always inspiring, and I'm always looking for inspiration. I love reading memoirs. I have read Caroline Knapp's book and it was really good. She's was an excellent writer. Ashame she died so prematurely of lung cancer.

Hi Cher, EastCoastDave, and Eve. Hope you're all doing well. ECD, sounds like you dodged a bullet pretty well. Sometimes that's what we need to do, because having drinks in the day just makes for an unproductive rest of the day.

Have a great night all.

[jennyneric]

May Modders

Hey all, I'm am going to try this modding thing again. I did not do well last time but I can do it now I think. I have had several 20 to 30 day abs since last November and I have been modding successfully for 3 weeks but I need some fine tuning. So here is my plan.

1. I DO NOT DRINK during the week no matter if I have to work or not. I only drink on Friday or Saturday.
2. I only drink after 7pm and after exercise of at lease 30 min.
3. I drink no more than 3 drinks (4.5 oz of vodka) and I will not go by wine when the vodka is gone!
4. If I have a hang over or get depressed the next day I will decrease the amount to 2 drinks (3 oz.) and I will not drink on Saturday.
5. I will exercise everyday to avoid depression.

Thank you for all the tips I have been reading! Ya'll keep up the good work and I hope to join you in success!