July Modders

[rebirth]

July Modders

Hi Bean,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Means alot to me.

I had a great workout last night so i am feeling really good this morning. Will have my usual couple of glasses of wine tonight and looking forward to ending work and just chilling in front of the tv tonight.

Seeing a live band in a pub tomorrow but I will stick with my maximum limit no matter what.

Have a lovely weekend all. x

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Rebirth - Awesome - it's like you have to pinch yourself, right? I mean, is this real? I'm discovering it's harder to stick to that maximum now that dh & I are together again. We were not separated, just I was staying at our retirement home as he was/is winding things down to retirement and working long hours to get there. When I'm alone and I decide to drink, I do other things while I sip slowly - I measure it and time it, 1/hour. When together he drinks so much faster and so I tend to also, we're just sitting talking and before I know it the whole LARGE bottle is gone. Can't say I haven't had a hangover.

Also, when I was gone I'd add in another workout at night - go for a bike ride at 5:00p, come in and eat dinner and once I do that I'm no longer interested in drinking. Just have 2 more weeks here, then we'll be driving cross country and settling into our new life. Need to think about, even write down, a retirement lifestyle plan that includes successfully modding - like you. I like your phrase that you give your body a rest from alcohol during the week - makes for a happier liver! Right now I feel I'm successful with modding in that I'm far from drinking every night (like I used to) but I've gone back to drinking more than I should when I do drink.

You are so smart to have caught yourself early in life. And see how much you are helping by sharing your thoughts and experiences. Please stick with us. Thank you!

Lila - missing you, drop by, ok? We care how you are doing.

TMH

[Bean]

July Modders

Hi Modders

Just wanted to let you know I have decided to join you. I've been on and off MWO for a few years now - almost exclusively on the AF threads but I feel I've reached a stage where I am ready and able to give moderating a serious go.

Early days but going great so far. Looking forward to giving and receiving support as the journey continues...

Bean

[Lila]

July Modders

hi Bean, welcome. I rejoined here too, after being gone for awhile.
Modders, I have been camping the last few days and haven't checked in here. It was a lot of fun. Now I would like a break from the kiddos!
I find I don't drink if I really load myself up with aminos.

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Welcome, Bean!! Yes, we are on quite the journey. Mind sharing your moderation plan?

Lila - and welcome back to you! Hope you were able to relax a bit during your camping. Aminos -
L-Glut or something else? Reminds me to go take some.

TMH

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Checking in. Am pretty much done packing except for the kitchen, most of which needs to be last minute. Feel good about accomplishment but missing my workouts. So.........R/W 3 miles while dinner was in oven, then did some situps, etc. and stretched. Showered, had 1 glass of wine with dh, during dinner poured a 2nd which I'm still nursing and that's all I plan to have today. Yeah!!!

TMH

[Lila]

July Modders

that's great, TMH!
I find I do well on L-glut, 5 htp, kudzu, and a bunch more to combat depression/anxiety. Mostly, my weakness is the habit of having a drink at the end of the day, that often turns into a few more.
Bean, can you share more about your journey? Where you were when you started at MWO, and what you found worked for you?
TMH, when do you go to Florida? And are you near the ocean?

[Bean]

July Modders

Hi TMH, Lila and Rebirth

I have been on and off MWO for about 5 years. I used to drink every day, probably a bottle of wine which slowly crept up (as it does!). I was in a relationship about 5 years ago where we drank a lot together but my ex wouldn't acknowledge it was a problem and didn't really support me in any of my efforts to quit or cut down.

In recent years I have done a lot of drinking on my own and that may be something I have to knock on the head if I am going to successfully moderate. The last year has been really transformational for me. I sank into a pit of despair last Autumn, ended up on anti-depressants because I was so desperate and miserable. I have an on/off boyfriend who was amazing during that time and just supported me. Him doing that was instrumental in helping me see that it is my behaviour and not myself (as a person) that needs to change. I quit completely for 3.5 months just after Christmas. That was a great time and I also trained for a half marathon which had been a long held goal.

Now I am in a WAY happier place. I quit taking the ADs in May (I'm not sure they were really doing anything to be honest), I have made it through an intense school program, I love what I do, I am fitter, healthier, more productive and generally in a good place. And I want to moderate because I think my drinking was more to do with a 'thinking' problem than a 'drinking' problem. I enjoy being AF and all the benefits that brings but I also would like to have a drink once in a while. I see there are people on here who are successfully moderating and I believe I can too.

I'm still working out my plan. I have discovered that if I have more than 4 drinks, all resolve goes out the window and I just want to get drunk. So my limit needs to be 3, absolute max 4. I don't have a problem with controlling it when I'm out with friends. It's the drinking on my own that is my danger zone. I am trying to figure out whether to allow myself a certain number of days a month I can drink (thinking 4-6, maximum 8) but haven't decided if it should only be weekends or random nights, but no more than that number. What do you guys do?

That's it from me for now. It's very early days so I want to see how I go. I would welcome any suggestions if you have been moderating successfully for some time and can share any good tips! (Rebirth has already shared a lot of how it's working for her and I feel inspired to give it my best shot).

Bean

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Weekend update: Drank both Fri and Sat nites. Moderately Fri nite, not so mod Sat nite. :no:

Lila - know it sounds silly, but I have a hard time finding the time to take all those dang pills. Part of the reason is I'm on a thyroid med which you have to take on empty stomach and supposed to wait 4 hrs til you take anything else. Some should be taken with food and when I practice my food plan that doesn't happen til mid afternoon. Have to manage that better. Geez, I've got a lot of things need to manage better uch: In 2 weeks we will be out of the state on way to FL. Moving to golf community, thought I better learn how to play, picked up clubs for 1st time at age 60. Abt 45 min from ocean, of course, will take you a lot longer during spring break. Yest I showed people we golfed with temp here - 92 and temp where we're moving - 77. Hotter here this week than FL. :what?:

Bean - thx so much for sharing your story & again, welcome! There is a Focus on Fitness section you can check out. There is a July AF one, but there is also a July 10 days one (as in reporting how many days you drink with goal being no more than 10). That's one way. I've noticed for me it has lifted the ceiling tho, meaning I just count it as a drink day and have not been paying enough attention to amt and have to get back to that part of moderation. Yes, Rebirth is an inspiration to all of us!

Rebirth - good weekend?

[Lila]

July Modders

TMH - I know, and I take a thyroid pill too. Four hours? I thought it was half an hour! (I take a natural thyroid pill).
Bean - I struggle with depression as well.
Okay, Modders. Here's where I am at. I don't feel cravings to drink, but I guess I think it is somehow a good thing. Last night I accidentally had more than I should have. THis morning, I am supposed to go see a friend. I kinda don't want to. Because I am an introvert and kind of depressive. I always have this feeling of Why don't I have time to myself? To collect myself? To reflect? But this morning, as I drink my coffee and pop vitamins and feel kinda yucky, I think I DO have enough time to myself. But I am on a vicious cycle. I don't really drink much, but I think, I know, I am still on a cycle. I am reading Kick the Drink -Easily, by Jason Vale, and one of his points is we are so programmed to think alcohol relaxes us, and we will be deprived if we don't drink, and it really rings true. I just think I am going to go awhile with no drinking. And see how I feel, observe myself, and see is this REALLY making me happy and relaxed. Because I just don't think it really does. I think it is making me more introverted and depressed.
Does this make sense? As long as I think there is something good that comes from drinking, I will keep on. SHould I try to stick to one? Right now I just want to stop for awhile.

[ToMyHealth]

July Modders

Lila - Alcohol is a depressant, so you're right, it is contributing to your depression. You could break it down, say I will be AF for 7 days or 10 days or 30 days.

As for my dilemma of following the 10 day rule, it just clicked. Rather than concentrate on how many days I CAN DRINK, I need to go back to concentrating on AF days. Simple act of turning it around.

TMH

[Lila]

July Modders

Yes, sounds good. I could also make myself think, yuck, alcohol is disgusting! to counteract all the messages we get from society.
Today, I am going to have fun, realize how good my life is. And see if it is better af.
And you are off to Florida! That is so exciting!

[newdaynow]

July Modders

Bean, your story seems very similar to mine. My husband and I drink almost every night. It used to be just 4 nights a week, and now it has crept up to every night. I usually drink a bottle of wine, and then want more. He, however, is able to stop and doesn't drink as much as I do. But it really just seems to be a habit. It is something we enjoy doing together, and seems to be a part of everything we do. We have favorite restaurants we go to and then usually a drink at that restaraunt is what we do. And when we get home after work, we open a bottle of wine. It has become such a habit. I don't know that I am really escaping anything, but sometimes it is due to loneliness or boredom. But the major trigger is that it has become such a habit. There is hardly anything we do that doesn't involve alcohol. Even if we work out, we then open up the wine.
I find if I can limit it to 4 glasses, I am okay, but once I have that 5th...it continues on. I hate it. I hate how my son sees me, and that I can't remember things, as I black out. And now, my eyes look permnanetly bloodshot.
I really want to stop. I have tried hypnotherapy several times, I have tried the Kudzu, and been to several therapists. During the day, it is all I think about, how I don't want to drink, and then as soon as 5pm comes, I start wanting to drink. I always think it is okay, I will just have a few, and then bam, I have drunk too much and am blacking out. I am able to go a few days, and am definitely making an effort to not drink during the week.
I really want to get off this merry go round, but don't know how to make it happen.
Really glad this forum exists so I can express myself instead of having to hide it and cover it up.
Thanks all for listening.:thanks:

[rebirth]

July Modders

Hi modders

Hi newdaynow- welcome!

Lila- When I drank too much in the past I became very moody and irritable so focusing on being AF sounds like a good plan for a while. It would be a good comparison for you to see how it affects your moods.

TMH- I mainly drink with my partners because we meet up on the weekends. It’s easy to get carried away in conversation and drink faster than intened but I try to keep myself in constant check with my watch. . Sounds tedious but it has become a bit of a habit to check my timing. I always ask the bartender how much wine is in the glass too. My partner thinks I am being pedantic but there is no point having four glasses of wine when each glass is larger than I would normally drink. Then it’s not four..

Funny how four seems to be the magic number for alot of us. If I have more than that I am on the way to a serious hangover.

Newday - That’s exactly how I use to drink too. A bottle a day..and you are right in thinking it's a bad habit. How about focusing on one day at a time? Could you try and not drink for one day? I remember my first AF weekend.I took each day and broke them down to hours. I was extremely determined not to falter and kept myself ridiculously busy. By Monday I felt like I had climbed Mount Everest ! It’s tough but it’s possible. x

It’s what Bean says..its your thinking not your drinking. I truely believe that now. I use to think that I couldnt control my drinking but after being AF and now able to moderate, I see that I just had some bad habits that I needed addressing.

My weekend was busy. I had my usual two glasses of wine on Friday. I woke up Saturday, felt energetic so I did an hours workout first thing in the morning evening. I drove to a bday party. Had one glass of wine. Then drove back to a pub and listened to a live band. Had three glasses of wine.
Woke up Sunday feeling my usual tiredness but happy with myself.

[rebirth]

July Modders

Unfortunately my eating habits have not been so good for the past two weeks. Been eating too much sugary foods lately. Tomorrow I will stop that nonsense.

But thats tomorrow so tonight I shall eat a packet of biscuits. Ha Ha