April Modders

[ToMyHealth]

Thought I'd start us off for April. Had planned not to drink yesterday, played golf, got to Bar-B-Q and dh handed me a glass of wine and I took it. Ended up having 2 and not really enjoying it that much - so why??? Proud to say when we got home dh handed me another saying it's the last of the bottle, and I let it sit. Finally, I got up from what I was doing and gave it to him, told him I was "wined out".

Because I drank, I did not take a sleeping pill and Jillian (my Bodyfit monitor) tells me I slept less than 4 hrs. Do feel pretty good, however, and am going out for a run/walk.

To an Awesome April!

TMH

Goal 1st Week April:
Mon AF
Tue AF
Wed AF
Thur AF
Fri No more than 2
Sat No more than 2
Sun No more than 3

[mightymite]

April Modders

Hi all,
Have been very busy so haven't had a lot of time to post. Went to our sons for the weekend. Had a very good time. It was nice seeing he and his wife and my granddog. Had a blast playing with the pup.

Good on you TMH for putting that last glass down. Wish I could say the same. Came home from our sons yesterday and had too many glasses of wine. I am in a pickle now it seems. Don't really want to go af but am not happy with my modding either. Haven't done 2 a days in about a week because after dinner we have been working on the kitchen. Didn't work out today either because I had a dr's appt and had to leave too early plus did not work out this weekend due to being away. Will get back to it tomorrow. I haven't been logging onto my calorie count either. :sighbubble: Plus my brother is coming Thursday and I know I will drink while he is here. I am not happy with myself. Think I need to change my mood. Not feeling so breezy. :no: I lost my mojo and have to find a way to get it back.

Hope everyone else is doing better than I am. You have a good plan TMH. Plus thanks for starting us off for April. What is a bodyfit monitor?

[ToMyHealth]

April Modders

Hey, MM, you're fairly new to this moderation biz. I started Memorial Day last year with 14 days AF, then have had some good weeks, some not so good. I think it's just because you've been out of your routine. Not making excuses for you; we all can make enough for ourselves but my point is try, try again. Have you heard of Bodybugs? I wear an armband that has sensors in it where it measures my calories burned, activity level, sleep duration, and if I input food it calculates my deficit. You need to take the time to plug it in PC to get a read or Smartphone. I have mainly used it for my sleep issues. I do have a better understanding of how it works now, and have embarked on a new program where I customized my goals and how I want to get there. Example: 60 min moderate activity, i.e. walking, biking and just 15 min vigorous activity - jogging. Today I went out for a little over 75 min and at every 5 min interval I ran for 1 min - that added up to 15 min vigorous. I need to stay consistent, chart wt loss and see where I need to add activity or eat less. BTW, this customized program sets my calorie limit at 1375 and years ago I found I lost wt on a 1400 cal/day plan. Sorry if more than you wanted to know.

Fitness: ran/walked 5 miles, lifted wts. Step goal/day is 14K and over 16K. For Happy Hour I plan to go practice my putting, and then have Costco deli chicken for dinner.

TMH

[mightymite]

April Modders

Thanks TMH. That makes perfect sense and I know I always become too hard on myself. Something about wanting that perfection and hating to make mistakes. That has always been a huge problem for me. I just wish that when I am out of my routine that I can still keep it together and not melt down. I will definitely be out of my routine when my brother gets here. But I will try. If anything, I don't quit easily.

That Bodybug sounds very interesting. I will check it out.
MM

[bear73]

April Modders

mightymite - we are having the same struggles, I'm not happy with my modding progress either - yet don't want the extra strain of 'no more never again'. I also struggle with the ' it's not perfect so it's awful' thinking.

I am focusing more on food and exercise now I don't have the strain of being af and feel less under pressure. I ate far too much take out food over weekend - my birthday party - and friends staying. I also drank - 1 glass wine Thursday night,3 on friday and 1 glass wine and about 5-6 bottles of beer Saturday evening. FAR too much.
This week i am having maximum of 2 drinks on my birthday and on Friday or Saturday.

Cat was having more tests re kidney problems and was quite ill at one point needing IV fluids (much better now - thankfully) and work also last week was very stressful.

However this week I am off work on holiday - chilling - planning healthy food and fitting in exercise/seeing friends. I have also re-started run/walking which is helping I think.
I have decided to reduce weigh ins to fortnightly/focus on did I stick to my calorie limit/move enough as indicators of progress.

I don't know what the answer is - I don't want to be drinking at old unhealthy levels - yet don't want to be totally AF.Yet 99% of time when I was AF I was calmer/happier with more energy.

[drinkingal]

April Modders

hi modders, I am sticking to my new goals and it's going well. I had a weird alcohol experience last thursday.
TMH I had a similar experience to you, DH was home early (put his back out) and after coming home from the doc he decided to pour himself a drink to ease the pain so I poured one too even though it was early afternoon and after a couple of sips it just sat there and I completely lost interest in it, damned if I ever remember that happening before in my life :H I asked dh if he wanted it and when he asked me why I just said "I don't know, I'm just not into it". I didn't drink anything later that night either.

I seem to also not be drinking all of my 5 limit drinks sometimes lately too. I might get to 3 or 4 and I get this feeling like I've had enough and am done. This is all so new to me but something in my brain seems to be changing towards alcohol where I'm not drinking till the last drop I've allowed myself.

[mightymite]

April Modders

Hi modders,
Hope everyone is having a grand Thursday. I am getting ready for my brother and his family to come so I thought I'd post now since I won't be able to for awhile. I have been doing well. Af since Sunday. Probably will have something tonight but maybe not. They won't be getting here until evening and by then I usually don't have anything to drink. Then a very busy day tomorrow. Taking them sightseeing in the city.

Drinkingal, great to see you and sounds like you are doing great. It sounds like you may be losing your "taste" for al. I think that is the start of tapering down. I hope I can get to that point. I used to smoke pot a long time ago and then completely lost the desire and didn't enjoy it anymore. I quit and never went back. I would like that to happen with wine. Just to have that natural progression to quitting something. I think it is easier that way and works.

Hey bear, good to see you too. I know, I always feel so much better when I have some af time. Tons of energy and so much happier. I don't know what the answer is either when you don't want to entirely go af. Just hope to lose the desire as I said in the above paragraph. How's your cat doing? Hope he/she is well.

Hope you all have a happy weekend and holiday if you celebrate Easter or not.
MM

[ToMyHealth]

April Modders

Well you know what they say about the best laid plans :damn: Monday - pc of cake. AF. Tues - not so much. Had day to myself which I love, got to late afternoon and hadn't eaten much so even though I thought about having a drink, I ate dinner instead. Got on my bike and went to go putt. Came home, felt antsy, thoughts ranged from taking a bath to watching a movie to cleaning :eeew: Started the movie, looked around and decided I wanted to drink wine & clean. Poured a gl of wine, set timer for an hour & got started. After 1 hr poured another, finished cleaning, was not upset with myself, felt my choice to drink was intentional and I got the house nicely spiffed up.

Tue nite during cleaning spree phone rang and people who were using our other condo called to say they would like to take us out to dinner Wed nite. So Wed dh out with friends who stopped by late afternoon, they had a beer, we then got ready for going out to dinner, offered them a drink when they arrived and I joined in a gl of wine. Had another at restaurant that lasted from before dinner all the way through the end of dinner. Absolutely no temptation to order another one nor have more when we got home. This is big!

Today played in Rally for the Cure golf tournament. SIL (big drinker, & will be "on holiday" frame of mind) arrived this afternoon, he is out playing now. Sure we will get together tonite. I feel fine, no hangovers, not even a headache. Will I drink? Possibly. Guess I shouldn't go out on a limb. :sigh:

Bottom line is even though I have not stuck to plan, I don't feel badly about it, matter of fact feel there was no oh f.... it attitude, no high emotions, no losing it once started... Do I know it can be different? Absolutely.

Drinkingal, Bear & MM - wouldn't it be great if this continues for us? It's better than white knuckling it. Do we think it will gradually get less and less? Don't know. All I know is that for today I feel content.

Have worked out a lot Mon-Wed, today has been only golf so now that I've rested a bit I'm going to go for a walk and then bike up to putt as a guy showed me something to work on today.

TMH
Goal this week:
Mon AF - DONE
Tue AF - 2
Wed AF - 2
Thur AF
Fri - no more than 2
Sat - no more than 2
Sun - no more than 3

[bear73]

April Modders

hi all - cat is absolutely fine now - test results all came back ok.
yesterday was my birthday and had a lovely day but didn't do everything I wanted as I was out with a friend night before - 2 glasses of wine and 2 cocktails.Felt AWFUL!

I don't feel that moderation is going well for me - well I'm not moderating - I'm drinking over what i planned. Yet I am not ready to be totally af - i may well do a month af after this weekend. I have friends down visiting - it won't be crazy party stuff but may be a few drinks.

I am going to keep on - I am feeling a bit bluesy - need to get coffee in me and go out for run/walk in sun. I'm sure I will feel better.

[Tipplerette]

April Modders

Hi Moderators, your moderation tales are very parallel to mine. One of our worst habits as human beings is to create goals, not follow through on them and then take the pounding from our 'ego' or negative thought patterns telling us we under-achieved and this gets us down.

Personally this includes creating and not achieving goals on healthy eating, exercise, moderation in drinking, keeping up with the housework, etc. Recently, I have had a 'eureka' moment probably due to all the new age, spiritual stuff I've been reading. I've decided to Just Be.

That is why I am posting here on this thread that seems to include like-minded individuals who are self-monitoring their intake as I have in the past.

My experiment is to trust myself to make moment by moment decisions with no goals or self attack; just asking myself what would be the best choice for me in that particular situation. So far this has me spending more time out in nature, not drinking more than a glass or two of wine at one sitting and actually feeling happier and more in control. There is no such thing as failure or success. It just IS as it IS.

At age 55 it's time for me to accept myself and all my hiccups and to trust that I care for myself enough to make good decisions as the day goes by. I am done with the attempts at 30 days A/F, the strict exercise schedule, the unmet goals and the inevitable self-attack when I fail.

I'll let you know how it goes but one thing is for sure. There will be no more listening to that little voice in my head that judges me. He is banished from my existence. I am teaching myself to acknowledge his words and dismiss them, eventually hoping to stop hearing them. Common sense will prevail if I let go of expectations. I've read extensively on health, fitness, alcohol's patterns, etc. I am well armed with knowledge and if that isn't enough to set me in the right direction then nothing else will.

Peace

[bear73]

April Modders

Tiplerette - I REALLY needed to read that - THANK YOU:l

Idon't meet goals so respond by trying to make even bigger/harder ones! I have been reading about mindfulness this week off as well - and intuitive eating - not just eating what you want (chocolate/junk all the time) but thinking I can have whatever I want - and what is kindest choice for my body to feel good..that way the 'forbidden' foods lose some of their appeal, and if i do eat them there's no ' this is the last time so i am going to stuff myself' thinking.

I will also try this approach with alcohol - I can have more if I want but I pretty much know more than 2 will make me feel ill.

Being AF is such a struggle but part of reason I probably feel better AF is I don't have the wrestling of 'how many'. I think that mindfulness could really be the key to a lot of my issues, weight/procrastination/drinking - certainly would have helped me to quit smoking a lot earlier I think.Gets us away from the 'forbidden fruit' feeling doesn't it?

[ToMyHealth]

April Modders

Tiplerette - very inspiring post. So much truth in what you said, I mean why not like ourselves. Can you share some of the New Age books you've been reading?

Bear - Have you read I Can Make You Thin by Paul McKenna? Same idea as you described.

Here's to a good, Just Be weekend!

TMH

[drinkingal]

April Modders

"wouldn't it be great if this continues for us? It's better than white knuckling it. Do we think it will gradually get less and less? Don't know. All I know is that for today I feel content."

I know, wouldnt it? I really think some of these new experiences are pretty huge for us. It seems like alcohol is starting to have less of a hold, and shows us we are learning to control our relationship with it instead of feeling like it's controlling us.

Tipplerette, your post touched on some things I've felt for a very long time and that beating myself up for not being "perfect" etc is so pointless since it leaves you feeling so useless and defeated in anything you try. Sometimes it's so tempting to do that but why make things even harder for ourselves?

Have a great weekend everyone!

[Tipplerette]

April Modders

It's refreshing to know that you people are sick of the self-doubt, unattainable expectations, unmet goals and self-fulfilling negative outcomes. All these issues CAN'T exist with no expectations or goals except the broad goal of making each moment's choices, mindful, healthy ones. That way there's no self-recrimination, no wasted time searching the web for yet another diet, another exercise program or abstinence plan.

I do want to emphasize that if my drinking were causing me terrible trouble in my relationships, job or health, a more definite approach might be necessary. For me, daily over-drinking is a waste of my evenings but a glass or 2 of wine is appropriate tonight for example when we are participating in a spaghetti sauce competition.

I like to read the new age books and the latest one I've read is Infinite Self by Stuart Wilde, I recommend all books written by Marianne Williamson especially A Return to Love, The Gift of Change and A Woman's Worth, all of Eckhart Tolle's books. I have a favourite website called Zenhabits.net.

If we are mindful on a moment by moment basis all the while accepting our selves for who we are then I think we can achieve some moderate living. I asked the universe to align my over-indulgences (ie. alcohol, candy) with my under-achievements (ie: housework, exercise) and I asked sincerely while sitting by the river a few days ago. Then I let it go. What will be, will be.

Something I read recently was that we are not responsible for our actions, just for our thoughts. Sounds silly until you think about it. As your thoughts come into your head at random, you can actually train yourself to banish the negative ones and only accept the positive, healthy ones. Actions, are a direct result of our thoughts and in of themselves are simply reactions to the words our minds speak. So try to change your actions at the level above them; at the moment the preceding thought enters your mind. That's called conscious living and that's my ONLY goal.

Peace and Serenity

[Tipplerette]

April Modders

Just made a pot of tea to put in my big thermos to bring to the spaghetti cook-off tonight. We are at the mercy of the hosts as the event is being held in their huge garage and when the wine feels like it's of no use to me anymore, I will have the decadence of a nice cup of camomile tea without having to ask my hosts to go to the house and make a fuss. I know I would not bother asking; I would just sit and feel the dry mouth happening. Feels good to take care of the inevitable.

Have a wonderful, moderate evening my friends.