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    #271
    July Mod Squad

    Hello Hello...............

    Made it thru another Monday AF! It is very rainy and cloudy here this morning and I am loving it, always a nice change for us here in the desert.

    Got a long day as I have to present an item to one of our Town Boards tonight at 6:30. I use to have to do it almost every week at my old job but have not had to do it in over 4 years now so I am a little nervous, not to mention irritated that it is at the furthest edge of town from my house and by the time I get home I will have had a 14 hour work day. So I am thinking since I will be getting home so late that I will just make it another AF day for me but we'll see how I feel after 14 hours and how the board votes on my item.

    Well I hope everyone has a happy productive day.:threesome:
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

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      #272
      July Mod Squad

      ToMyHealth;1356922 wrote: All of this seems so mundane. Why? I recently learned of a former friend (actually bf) who just got diagnosed with ALS.
      TMH
      TMH
      Tragedies always give us a different perspective on life. As a nurse I know that ALS is one of the most hearbreaking diseases out there so I am inredibly sorry to hear about your old bf! Our thoughts are with you and stop in if you need support here but we understand if you don't have time and need to focus on what is at hand.:h
      :l
      Eve11
      "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

      ~Jack Welsh~:h

      God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

      Comment

        #273
        July Mod Squad

        Hi modders, I hope everyone had a good monday. LG I wish I felt I was doing good with my modding but I have been doubting myself a bit lately. sometimes I just wish I could do what you did and be done with drinking for a while and learn to cope with stress and tiredness etc in other ways.

        Great job on going af monday vliven. I think our bodies really do appreciate those days off. Today i feel pretty crap, al seems to affect me a lot more these days than it used to. anyhoo I plan on going af today so I should feel heaps better tomorrow. Hi eve, glad to see you pop in. Have a great Tuesday everyone.

        Comment

          #274
          July Mod Squad

          Happy Tuesday All. Back at work, witwoo! Ha, wish I were back at home, but that's life. Actually had to get up last night and turn the ac up because it was too cold!:H Hard to imagine people willingly living without it (a/c).

          DG, I am really glad that I did the two stints AF, and I never ever thought I could do that. Looking back I am tempted to say it was easy, but I know that it wasn't at the time. At least the first 30 days was a bit difficult because I had not gone more than a day without drinking for 8-10 years. It seems like it wouldn't really make that great of a difference, but it made a huge difference in my life. I really did learn to live without AL. Now I choose to drink for pleasure, not because I "have" to have it. Nevertheless, you do seem to be doing well.:l

          Vliven, good morning! Sorry I haven't been posting along with you as much. Good luck on your presentation tonight. I bet you will do really well. You seem to have a great, bubbly personality.

          Eve, saw your thread about triggers...Interesting! Should be a good one to read, and think about.

          Hope everyone is doing well today.

          Lg


          "I like people too much or not at all."           Sylvia Plath

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            #275
            July Mod Squad

            I am seriously considering doing a 30 day AF stint - I feel like I read about everyone going AF and becoming so full of energy and productive - I am really lacking that these days.... Glad I was able to go AF yesterday but pretty much spent 5 hours on couch!

            I think cleansing my body for 30 days would help me sleep more regularly and hopefully give me more energy, I know if I get back into my healthy diet and exercise routine it would really boost my energy but really that is my biggest trigger for the liquor and just want a little more time under my belt before I get back into that.

            OK back to work
            And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

            Comment

              #276
              July Mod Squad

              Hi, All,

              Sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but I've been REALLY busy bringing my wife home from hospital, then one of the twins on Saturday and the other yesterday. It's really good to have everyone home, healthy, and relatively happy (even if we're starting our sleep deprivation!) Actually, we have help and are working better as a team. Funny how being AF helps the relationship and team building efforts...

              Today is day 24 AF for me, and I'm feeling pretty good! Having a hard time concentrating after taking yesterday off, but only working 1/2 day today, and 1/2 day tomorrow, then back full force for a while. Vliven, I strongly recommend doing a 30 day (or more) AF stint. It doesn't solve all problems, but sure gives you strength to look them in the eye, and make a plan that's easier to live with. Helps cash flow issues, too. I'm amazed at how much I spent every week on booze!

              Hope y'all are doing well, and promise to be a more active participant here.

              Dave
              Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
              When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

              Comment

                #277
                July Mod Squad

                Welcome Back, D!! Glad to hear that your babies are home. I know you and your wife are relieved. That's not really a lot of time off work, considering.

                Just checking in midday...going to lunch in 15.


                "I like people too much or not at all."                 Sylvia Plath

                Comment

                  #278
                  July Mod Squad

                  DC - So glad everyone is home and healthy and sooo proud of you on 24 days, I spent a few minutes looking at your beginning posts and see you had some up and down days and it was interesting to follow to where you are now.

                  Not quite lunch here but I am hungry

                  Hope everyone is having a good day
                  And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                  Comment

                    #279
                    July Mod Squad

                    vliven, I had and do have a lot of up and down days since I started this AF/mod journey. For the first 30 days, I never wanted to stop quitting though. Sounds weird when you put it that way, lol. After that, I really felt like I could have a couple of drinks and be ok. People here kept saying not to do it, and just quit forever, but I had to try it. I did, at 39 days and no problem. Then I did on a couple of more occasions, and still no problem. Pressure from here and my own fear (after seeing what had happened to others) prompted me to quit for another 47 days. After that I started playing with the notion of modding...caused a lot of stress on here, and a lot of hurt feelings. Finally, I decided I had to make that decision for myself (of course) and I landed smack dab in the middle of here!


                    "I like people too much or not at all."                     Sylvia Plath

                    Comment

                      #280
                      July Mod Squad

                      It's not all about me. I just have to say something to somebody, or I feel like I'm going to explode. I just talked to my sister and she was angry with me. I had sent an email to my family telling them that mom said her blouses and bras were too tight and that she needed some new ones. She told me yesterday when I went to see her, and at the time I had both dogs in the vehicle outside with bf, and we were headed back to our house where a repairman was coming to fix the a/c. We live about an hour away from where she stays. Anyway, my sister said, why did you tell the family that mama needs clothes? Why didn't you get them yourself? You always act like someone else is supposed to handle responsibilites...Well, I blew up at her and said some things I shouldn't have, hung up on her, and started crying. I guess that means, GUILTY AS CHARGED. I freakin hate family dynamics sometimes, and I really wish I had a drink right now. :'(


                      "I like people too much or not at all."                       Sylvia Plath

                      Comment

                        #281
                        July Mod Squad

                        Ouch LG- I have a large close family with TONS of BS....
                        I have no doubt that your intentions was to let the family know you had been to see mom and here is what you have to report... Yo blew up not out of guilt but out of pure anger in your intentions being twisted in such a wrong direction!!!! I think your sister obviously has some of her own guilt maybe for not visiting enough or maybe because she noticed the same thing and did nothing about it......

                        You know as well as I do a drink is NOT the answer and that in the state you are in it would not be JUST ONE DRINK......

                        Why don't you get online and see where you can get her some new blouses and bras and get them to her with out a word to your sister about it.....

                        Read your post really quick cause I gotta head out to my town board hope I got the story right or my advice will be pretty lame.

                        I'll check back later...... Stay strong..... Vent away!
                        And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                        Comment

                          #282
                          July Mod Squad

                          Real quick I was ?ber tempted to have one or two of those beers to relax me for this meeting but opted for nap instead wish me luck!!!!!!!
                          And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

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                            #283
                            July Mod Squad

                            Good luck, vliven! I know you will do well.

                            Sitting here extremely depressed. It's apparent to me now that my sisters (and maybe brothers too) have been talking to each other about me. Another example of how I am a worthless member of the family.


                            "I like people too much or not at all."                             Sylvia Plath

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                              #284
                              July Mod Squad

                              LG do u honestly believe you are a useless member? I find that very hard to believe...... Give it some time to cool off them confront them..... Waiting for my item on the agenda to be called..
                              And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                              Comment

                                #285
                                July Mod Squad

                                vliven, I don't want to clutter your mind about my problems when you have this presentation coming up. I will answer your question though. LOL, selfishness wins out again. I do feel worthless sometimes. I know I don't do enough or visit my family enough...I don't know why. I feel such dread when I think about being with any of them. It's not really that bad, and anyone looking in would say, what a lovely family you have. We don't even argue with each other. It's just knowing what's been said (comments about my weight behind my back, my irresponsibility, etc.) that makes me resentful. I think depression keeps me from doing what I should in many areas of my life, and I seriously need some help.:upset:


                                "I like people too much or not at all."                                 Sylvia Plath

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