August Mod Squad

[jenniech]

August Mod Squad

Dave
nice post!! I hope you and your wife can figure it out....I would assume your twins are newborn and if that is the case, believe me, it is a very stressful time and your past experience makes it worse. If you explain that to her, I am sure she will understand and you guys can both take a deep breath and relax with each other and your babies.....ENJOY

[Lila]

August Mod Squad

SIDS is pretty unlikely, but I guess you know that...
Having newborns is so stressful. Actually, I think the risk for SIDS is at about 9 months when the something neurological happens. Anyways, remember you and your wife are going on less sleep, etc.
Remember, people have had babies in caves, during wartime, etc, etc. They will be fine!

[vlivengood]

August Mod Squad

Hey everyone.......

Sorry again for the lack of posting..... Don't really wanna hop on computer at my sisters so all of my check ins and posts are via my iPhone,,,,,, plus I am trying to spend all my time with her...... Please know I have been reading everything and comes Monday morning I'll get into work early and probably take up an entire page......

D- I did read your post and while my sister knows of my issues I would not want to share this with her..... Although I know how much it helps me..... I did even try to search for a similar site to reccomend to her with no luck..... Yes she is completely defeated and very aware and honest with me about her current state she has been batteling with this for almost 20 years and has been thru MANY programs and done well but never lasted even had one stint of 2 years sober and had the most awesome job as an EMT -security guard at the Mandalay bay casino- had her own place- a good car and was very happy..... One day she got off work after a fantastic night of work and decided to stop for some beer and drank the entire 12 pack it was all down hill from there..... Once even started at the very bottom of a salvation army program in the roughest part of town and rose up thru it so well......

Ok I am sorry I keep saying I don't have time to respond to everything going on your lives properly but then mange to post a novel about my sister.... I guess part of the reason is because I really want to focus on my responses to you guys and right now my thoughts are consumed with sis..... She is busy with a few chores now so I had a few minutes....

We had good talk last night and she didn't over drink at least I did not see her or she did not seem like it. Got up early, walked her dog to the park (she has not ben doing since she has been binging-and that is so not like her - her dog is her life) went to breakfast, then drove to Malibu dipped our feet in the ocean and had some lunch- TRAFFIC sucked coming back an hour and 30m trip was more than doubled!!!!!

Dave, real quick you sound like an absolutely amazing husband and father..... You are working on every aspect of your life so hard and really open to looking at what works and what doesn't..... I will chime in more later what is this day 33 for u!

LG - did u go shopping? Anything else exciting

CASH - Hows the parents?

Hello to everyone else hope everyone is off to a good moderate or AF weekend!!!!!

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

V (hope you don't mind my nickname for you), glad to hear from you, and that things are going well. One other site I've come across is soberrecovery.com. I can't recommend it really, as I've not been a member. It might be a good site though.

I didn't ever go shopping. I found more and more to clean around here, lol. I do feel very productive. Still have Sat. and Sun., if I do find time to shop. If not, then I saved some money!

I read about what you said, that your sister drank a 12 pack and lost her job. I was just thinking, I have drank many a 12 packs in one night, and still was able to hang in there...after sobering up. I guess I am just wondering what happened exactly.

Today while I was cleaning out my dresser drawers and bagging up clothes I came across some shorts that I had put away because they were too tight. Hee hee, I can wear them now!! Yay!

Hope everyone is enjoying their Friday night.

[vlivengood]

August Mod Squad

LG- if I was u right now I would be on cloud nine I LOVE the feeling of getting that much done and still having two days to bask in it and relax.... I love that feeling almost as much as getting in to old clothes I HAD out grown.....

About sis that was just the first night she decided to try and have few "I deserve it, I am sure by now I can have 2-3 and stop" after 2 years AF well she drank that 12 pack and before long it was double that, plus liquor, all day very day....

BTW way I love the nick name "hail to the V" ha.... Have u seen those commercials?

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

Not seen the commercials, but I have heard that saying. Hmmm....is it sexual?

Well, I have been drinking some wine since sixish. Bf said he could definitely tell I am tipsy. I didn't really try to keep it at a certain number of glasses...I guess I just drink what I feel like, unless I feel too drunk, then I will stop. I just am glad that I don't feel the need to drink every night like I did for sooo long.

[FarfallaP]

August Mod Squad

Hi everyone,

Hullo, all...not much new with me.

LG, congrats on fitting into the smaller size shorts! That is SUCH a boost, for me, too. Which is why, in a way, hunger is probably my biggest AL "trigger." (Scotch has fewer calories than a Danish, right? Ohh, poor liver.)

Dave, I re-read my earlier post, and decided it sounded TOO Pollyanna-ish. The first 4 weeks the twins were home was a Nightmare Time - one new problem (poss. CRISIS) after another, or so it seemed. I think we all used up our entire "Tact" quotient for the year. I myself required a week in Acapulco to recover, after my tour of duty was up. I thoroughly enjoyed every Quiet Moment of Total Stillness under the palm trees, with waiters in white coats bringing me things and Someone Else doing all the damn laundry.

Btw, imho, the mother is biologically still quite connected to the infants, (REM sleep synchronized, also breathing, etc.) so that if she, (unmedicated, in normal health) sleeps near them, she tends to be quite "tuned in" and will awaken at the slightest variation in their condition, including little whimpers or sleep apnea, etc. (This "tuned in" phenomena might be a mammalian survival-of-the-species thing - in any event, no one has tested to see if fathers, grandmothers, etc, share it.)

V, my heart just aches for your sister, and I congratulate you on your love and fortitude. The poor woman must be SO discouraged...AL can be, indeed, a "cunning and baffling" adversary. The book "Breaking Addiction" by Lance Dodes has some case histories similar to hers, plus some strategies which might be helpful. They are hard to do on your own, imo.

Lila, I, too, strongly recommend the cds from MWO. They were not easy to adapt to, as I kept criticizing the man's use of English and strange pronunciation. BUT, I used them faithfully, and once I personalized the suggestions which I gave myself, as well as the visualizations, I truly felt my MIND beginning to accept some freedom from my self-imposed oppression.

"The Work" of Byron Katie, a system for re-wording your own beliefs that you wish to change, available for free on the web, helped me come up with the personalized suggestions which finally made a difference..."I MUST celebrate a wedding with Champagne" became "I MUST celebrate a wedding with Happiness," for example. Roberta Jewell also gave some good examples of suggestions, here on the website, which I eventually found one night.

DG, thanks for your kind words re my postings...

Sorry this has been so long. Here's to all of us, having a Happy, Healthy, Hangover-Free Weekend! FF

[DfromCT]

August Mod Squad

Hi, All and good morning. Another rough night last night, but a new day today. Right now wifey and MIL are out at store, I have both babies sleeping, and a few moments of calm! Farfalla, I love hearing that others went through some of the tough time that we're experiencing, right now it's survival until Sunday night when the night nurse starts. My wife will be much easier to get along with when she gets a few nights in a row of 8 hours solid sleep. Last night she went to sleep (though she did it on the couch in the nursery, b/c we fought about her handing me the first to eat with an obviously dirty diaper and the other one starting to fuss for his feeding saying she's going to bed!) after dinner at 8:30 and I did the next two feedings and woke her with both boys sleeping at 1, telling her as agreed that they're all hers. She told me this morning that her mother got up at 1:30 and both were screaming...and the night was downhill from there! :upset:

Anyway, we'll get through this. It's been three weeks already, if things had gone as planned and they were born Aug 9th, they'd just be coming home from the hospital. It's funny, the second born has always been more laid back and his brother the great eater, but lately he's been eating more than his brother and might have closed a 5 oz weight difference. Interesting to see when we go for weighing on the 16th. They're both pretty good, and oh so cute when it's not the middle of the night! :h:h

V, I totally understand keeping MWO for yourself, and wish I had an alternative. Stories like the 12 pack one are exactly what I fear. As my best friend (who's been sober 25 years and still thinks I should be in AA) says, if you never drink again, you'll never have to worry about failing at moderation. He hears my views on moderation and (distaste for) AA, but I think everyone needs to come to terms with alcohol on their own and determine what their goal is and what they're willing to do. :goodluck:

Lila, I've had other experiences with hypnotherapy, guided meditations, etc. so the CD really works for me. I spent $140 needlessly to order additional ones, though, as the one that came with the starter pack would have been sufficient. The others I bought are somewhat duplications of the same messages from the starter pack. I need to find time to do that this weekend.

LG, I'm jealous of the wine. Maybe if/when I try moderation, I'll only drink red wine! I really miss the glass of red with a good meal (and am thawing steaks from the freezer for tonight!) more than I miss sucking down a bunch of beers and doing some tequilla shots. I never drank enough wine to get a wine hangover, but could only imagine it's nasty enough to make me not want one! :no:

Jennie, thanks for jumping in with words of encouragement! I hope you stick around and join in, the mod squad needs more active members. I really like the support and kinship I find here, so please feel welcome to share your thoughts. :welcome:

I also want to thank whomever reminded me that folks have been having babies in the wilderness, caves, heat of summer and dead of winter throughout the ages. I'll try to remember that and give up worrying!

Oh yeah, "V" I'm thinking maybe we should call you "Hail"

Have a great Saturday all. I have my mother coming for lunch, which given the fact that she insulted my in-laws last time they were in the same place (at the shower back in May) should be interesting. I loaded up on the Arnold Palmer, b/c I know this will test my resolve to stay sober! I think it's something like day 35....playing golf if the thunderstorms don't cancel my game late this afternoon, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Going to take the 1 AM to 7 AM shift tonight, so wish me luck there, too!

Dave

[vlivengood]

August Mod Squad

Good morning all.....

Just checking in real quick...... Sis and I headed for pedicures soon. Been drinking a few more beers that I should in the evening but not getting drunk and not a drop of liquor.

Not sure what we will do with rest of day and if I will drive back today or tomorrow AM....

I'll write more later...... Have a great day!

[vlivengood]

August Mod Squad

Hello hello Mod Squad...... Kinda quiet in here today..... I'm assuming everyone is doing stuff...

Sis n I having lazy day had our pedis, grabbed a sandwhich, took a quick cat nap and now helping her with a few lil chores..... Going to treat her to a big grocery shop in a bit (she's broke of course) plus she has to find ways to stash what she buys or one of her roomates will eat it all on her.... HA! decided to stay tonight and drive home in the morning......

Ok gotta go sorry...... Hope all is well

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

Hello.:hiya: Good to see people posting today. Is everyone here a modder? Just wondering.

I'm cooking hamburger steak with gravy, rice and turnip greens. Yummm! Oh, V, the WTC didn't turn out very well for me. Not sure what I did wrong, but neither bf nor I enjoyed it very much. I'm sure yours is delish...must have been my cooking, lol.

So, I quit with the wine not long after I posted last night. Felt fine this morning, except very hungry! I didn't eat enough yesterday. Went to get something to eat very early, then came back and slept in till noonish. hee hee. Bf decided to have some wine too last night and was still drinking when I went to bed. Needless to say, he didn't fare too well. He was a little sick this morning. Not sure how much he drank, but he hardly ever drinks, so any amount over a couple of glasses would have been too much. Doubt he'll want anything AL to drink for a long time!:H

V, glad you and your sister are having a nice time. I hope she continues to do well after you leave... D, sounds like you're slowly adjusting to life with newborn twins. I think it will always be a big challenge, but at least you've worked out a schedule. I imagine you and your wife will be very happy to get the nurse's help.

Ok, deep breath...lol, just wanted to respond to everyone...anyone I missed, hello and hope everyone is having a great Sat. night.

[jenniech]

August Mod Squad

OK, so I went 6 days sober....today there was a family party....I was really good the first couple of hours....but then i caved. I had 3 glasses of wine....but the thing is, I stopped....we drove home and I brought a bottle into the house thinking i would have more but then I really didn't feel like it... I know, bad, bad , bad....my AA sponsor would not be happy.... the thing is, though, I really feel like i could limit myself to only one day a week and on that one day, moderate.... time will tell. So now I am going to bed with my wits about me.. tomorrow is another day and I plan on it being completely AF.. just being honest....

[jenniech]

August Mod Squad

btw, i really did not have more... just brought the bottle into the house but did not open it....going to bed now... thank goodness because i am exhausted

[Lila]

August Mod Squad

LG, had to smile at your tipsy wine post. Can you tell me how you got to be a Modder? Actually, I am interested in everyone's path.
I am still waiting for my supps, waiting to change my life. (I am thinking about getting a new bike and biking again to the grocery store, etc. )

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

Hey Lila. I became a modder when I realized that I was not an alcoholic. In fact, I never thought I was, but after coming here to get help on quitting, I realized (much later, lol) that this is a site for alcoholics. However, it was first designed to help people control their drinking, if I've been told correctly.

I do believe going for a number of days AF is beneficial for lots of reasons. It helps retrain your brain, for one thing. I can only speak from my own experience, but since [from listening to other's posts] we all seem to have some things in common when it comes to AL, I believe it applies. I had gotten into a destructive pattern/habit of drinking every single night and I couldn't fathom changing my routine...Once I finally did, after getting support from here, I found other ways in which to spend my time that didn't have to include AL. It was an eye-opener and made me recall how I was once able to function "normally" for the most part without AL, except in moderation.

Today would be one of those days that I could easily imagine not drinking again. I had two glasses of wine this evening and all they have done is make me feel nauseated. I'm not sure why, but maybe because I did get "tipsy" last night. I don't want anymore and in fact, cannot handle anymore because it's making me feel badly. Having a pepsi now.

I guess, to answer your question once and for all, the reason I became a modder was to prove that I could. To myself and to others who said it couldn't be done. If I decide to give up AL, I want it to be on my terms.

I think getting a new bicycle is a wonderful idea. I have been thinking of that too. I need to incorporate more exercise into my life. Biking to the grocery store in the area I live in now, though, would be dangerous. I could bike around my neighborhood though...

Hope everyone is still having a great evening/morning/afternoon.