August Mod Squad

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

I guess I am a "successful" modder only to myself. I am happy that I can go for days without drinking now, and without craving. I allow myself to drink one or two days a week, if I choose to do so. At those times, do I always only have one or two? No, but I now often only drink one or two, and there was a time I would have found that ludicrous. It is directly a result of having thought about my drinking and consciously making an effort to abstain, and then to moderate that I feel has helped me. I don't think it works for everyone, and maybe it won't always work for me. If I find that I am going over my own guidelines significantly or consistently, then I will re-evaluate.

[drinkingal]

August Mod Squad

I've always found the recommendations a bit too vague, because I've read quite a few times that the recommendation is to stick to 1-2 drinks a day, and never more than 4, with a couple of af days a week, up to a max of 7-10 drinks a week. So my interpretation of that is, if you are a daily drinker then you need to stick to the 1-2 drinks with a couple of af days each week. For someone who isn't a daily drinker, once you go over 4 drinks you are bingeing and that's not healthy either.

But I guess that's one of the problems with daily drinking is it doesn't leave you much room to overdo it a bit here and there because you're already at your max limit (or for some us OVER your max limit for daily drinking)

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

dg, one thing I have read and already knew really, was that no, you can't add up the 1-2 daily drinks and have them all one or even two days, lol. Even if you aren't a daily drinker, the recommended guidelines still apply: 1-2 drinks at one time on any day, regardless of what came before, or didn't. Sigh, no hoarding allowed.

I had three glasses of wine earlier this evening. It's been over two hours since I stopped. I had a pleasant buzz, but nothing now. Very different from the way I used to drink...I never stopped before I was ready to pass out.

Still reading "Wild" and almost sad that I've read it so voraciously, because I'm almost done. I returned the other book I had checked out from the library because it just seemed like a waste of time...was silly and trite.

Spent the entire day at home, on and off here. I guess you could say it was a boring day, but it was also relaxing. I even got in a long nap this afternoon. I don't mind that it wasn't an adventurous weekend...although reading Wild makes me kind of sad that I never did anything remotely out of my comfort zone when I was young enough and carefree enough to do it.

Hope everyone is having a nice, relaxing weekend too.


P.S. I measured my wine glass just now (with water, lol), and it's an 8 oz glass. I usually fill to about 6 oz.

[drinkingal]

August Mod Squad

The 4 drinks is mentioned in the guidelines though and that's what confused me in the past, why would they say 1-2 but then mention no more than 4?. I think we just assume the guidelines are aimed at everyone but if you look at the wording, to me at least it seems as though they are targetted at the two types of problem drinking which are likely to cause health problems, daily drinking and binge drinking. e.g. 1-2 drinks per day with a few af days a week as well, to a maximum of 7-10 per week, seems to clearly be addressing the daily or several times a week drinker to me.

But according to the guidelines as well, you should not drink more than 4 in one day because then it classed as a binge (which is addressing the binge drinker). So I don't think it's doubling up, I think the guidelines are saying that a daily or several times a week drinker can only drink this much (because your liver is under more regular strain), but if that doesn't apply, then don't drink more than 4 because then you are bingeing. If the across the board limit was 1-2 then it doesn't make sense to me that they mention the "no more than 4" as well, because then it's just a contradiction.

[FarfallaP]

August Mod Squad

Hi Guys,

About the guidelines...I suspect that each person's liver and circulatory system is a little bit different, so the "flexibility" in the guidelines is an attempt to present a "middle path."

Before I had my fatty liver scare, and REALLY started to implement the MWO plan, I NEVER measured my alcohol intake - it was just way too embarrassing/scary!

And, I told myself I had a very, very strong constitution/liver, plus I was a healthy eater, slender (relatively), etc etc.

So, now I am really really happy to have a paper which proclaims Normal Liver Ultrasound...and, I pretty much stick by the medical guidelines, and am grateful to be able to do so....thanks largely IMHO to MWO and the kind people here.... FF

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

drinkingal;1368924 wrote: The 4 drinks is mentioned in the guidelines though and that's what confused me in the past, why would they say 1-2 but then mention no more than 4?. I think we just assume the guidelines are aimed at everyone but if you look at the wording, to me at least it seems as though they are targetted at the two types of problem drinking which are likely to cause health problems, daily drinking and binge drinking. e.g. 1-2 drinks per day with a few af days a week as well, to a maximum of 7-10 per week, seems to clearly be addressing the daily or several times a week drinker to me.

But according to the guidelines as well, you should not drink more than 4 in one day because then it classed as a binge (which is addressing the binge drinker). So I don't think it's doubling up, I think the guidelines are saying that a daily or several times a week drinker can only drink this much (because your liver is under more regular strain), but if that doesn't apply, then don't drink more than 4 because then you are bingeing. If the across the board limit was 1-2 then it doesn't make sense to me that they mention the "no more than 4" as well, because then it's just a contradiction.

I see what you are saying now dg, and it is confusing. I guess it's still pretty safe to have up to 4 in a day, up to two days a week (of 4 or less). Or if you have 1 every day, then that would equal 7, or 1 6 days and 3 on sunday, then you would reach the maximum. LOL. Seems pretty easy to get obsessed if you have it down to the last drop. I have drank a total of 6.5 drinks this week, although I didn't realize it until just now when I counted.

[FarfallaP]

August Mod Squad

I think it all depends on how well your liver/system processes the alcohol. Before mine healed, I could assess my processing rate by how red my face got. I used milk thistle a lot, which really helped...would take some before going out, as well as when coming home.
now my face doesn't get red at all, thank goodness, but I DO avoid distilled liquor...martinis might make it red again, but I am not going there.
I hate measuring things...brings out the rebel in me...so at parties I think I tend to drink more, but at restaurants for sure I only have one or two (OK, hopefully Big) glasses of wine.
Now one of my private tasks is to compare people's faces with their hands and arms, as a little bit of a motivator in fact, re no more martinis for me! poor Mr. Clinton...some days in some pix he's very pink,but at his daughters wedding he was not...
so, all in all, for me, LGs assessment of four per days sounds abt. right, of the teensy measurements. FF

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

Another thing I want to add. I do not believe true alcoholics can ever moderate. That is only my belief, however, but it seems like a pretty forgone conclusion. I had become a problem drinker, binger through mindless consumption, depression and boredom. I now make a conscious effort to be mindful of my consumption, and it seems to be working so far.

[Lila]

August Mod Squad

wow, LG, you are a librarian! I looked into that, seemed like it was hard to get a job, etc, so i didn't go for it. You are lucky!
Modders, I have seen a lot of arguing about the ab/mod thing. I like it here because I think we support each other in whatever we do.
well, tomorrow i take my test WISH ME LUCK!!!

i do wish i was better at managing stress, i always go right to "awfulizing" if things don't go my way.

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

I just need to stay away from posting outside of this forum, lol. Was I really not clear when I said the modders on this site need support, just as the AFers do? They say, well if you can mod haha, why are you here? I say, if you don't drink, why are you here? Seems like the same question to me.

Hi Lila, lol. Thanks, I guess I kind of fell into the job. I was working in the library before I actually got my masters degree, and thankfully there was a faculty position open.

[Eve11]

August Mod Squad

LibraryGirl;1368464 wrote: P.S. Actually, it saddens me that other moderators will not stand up for themselves. Eve has been modding successfully for years, but always keeps a low profile and gives the "right-of-way" to the AF'ers. You can count on me to be your "voice" because I am outspoken, and that will not change.

Hey LG,
This is the hard part...when I don't have time to read all of the posts, because then I miss some things that are going on. So, am curious about your statement about some modders not standing up for themselves as to what happened. Also, regarding your comment that I give the "right of way" to the AF'ers, I would love to have clarification regarding what that means to you and am going to share with you a little more about me so you understand where I am coming from.

To share a little history with you and everyone else, this site was very confusing to me when I first came here as it was not the moderating site I thought it was. When I joined I did so because I felt I was out of control at times with my drinking, but did not consider myself alcoholic...more of an alcohol abuser on occasions. So yes, I would be the person who drank too many glasses of wine at the wedding and slurred my speech, but I didn't fall into the cake or anything like that.:H So when I found this site and read the book that was based on "moderating" I was ecstatic because the whole alcohol community seems to be an "all or nothing" approach and there are gray areas! An example was (years ago) a young 20 something girl (I was in nursing school and doing rounds at Hazelton in MN) who got a DUI and the group was telling her she was alcoholic and could NEVER drink again. I remember thinking REALLY? and through the years I have struggled with the fact that the majority of people are problem drinkers, not alcoholics, yet they all get lumped into the same category and are inundated with the AA philosophy.

So, I thought I had found my dream place only to find that huge online wars would go on between moderators and AFers. You see, it turned out that this was really a site more for those who are abstinent rather than trying to moderate. One reason I am sure is the fact that many people with alcohol problems cannot moderate even though they wished they could. So, many would start out over here and then realize they could not mod and would join the AF threads. That would be all fine and good if everyone respected each other's choices but that wasn't the case 5 years ago. There were two people in particular (one modder and one AFer) that would go to each other's sites and completely antagonize each other. Lila probably remembers those two. So, yes, I do keep a low profile with not wanting to war with those who choose to be abstinent. Yet, I don't support AFers coming over here and giving a moderator a hard time, so I too, LG, would get verbal about that and would probably send them a pm. I give them the "right of way" in the fact that I respect their decision to be AF as I hope they will respect yours, mine and others here who believe they can moderate. However, I missed what happened with the moderator not standing up for themselves, so am sorry to hear that as it sounds like we may have had someone come over here and try to create problems.

I guess the bottom line for me is we all share a common struggle and we come here to support and help each other. I don't like to get upset because of what someone said or have them get upset with something I said if I can help it. Defeats the purpose of why we come here and no-one needs the aggravation when we come here for positive support and warm fuzzies. Hope that helps you understand a little bit more about me. :truce:
:l
Eve11

[drinkingal]

August Mod Squad

"I think it all depends on how well your liver/system processes the alcohol. "

oh I totally agree FF. Since you've had a fatty liver you definitely wouldn't want to overdo it and staying away from the daily drinking sounds like it's had a huge impact. The liver is pretty amazing isn't it, just the fact that your ultrasounds are now normal is so amazing, and that's what we need to be careful of I guess, not putting so much strain on our livers and making them sick in the first place but I guess we all think it will never happen to us?? but when you think how much some of us would have drank in an average week, it does kind of get scary to think about when you compare it to the guidelines.

These are things I need to work out before I go back to modding, I really don't want to be a daily or several times a week drinker anymore so I would have to figure some of this out.

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

Good morning. Seems like the contentious atmosphere that has existed since I started modding is still alive and well. I blame myself for engaging others who put out comments that are clearly intended to antagonize. Obviously, I have a problem with letting things just go, and am intent on winning arguments. That is a fault within myself. I apologize to all of you if I have given this forum a bad rep.

[LibraryGirl]

August Mod Squad

Eve11;1369221 wrote: Hey LG,
This is the hard part...when I don't have time to read all of the posts, because then I miss some things that are going on. So, am curious about your statement about some modders not standing up for themselves as to what happened. Also, regarding your comment that I give the "right of way" to the AF'ers, I would love to have clarification regarding what that means to you and am going to share with you a little more about me so you understand where I am coming from.

To share a little history with you and everyone else, this site was very confusing to me when I first came here as it was not the moderating site I thought it was. When I joined I did so because I felt I was out of control at times with my drinking, but did not consider myself alcoholic...more of an alcohol abuser on occasions. So yes, I would be the person who drank too many glasses of wine at the wedding and slurred my speech, but I didn't fall into the cake or anything like that.:H So when I found this site and read the book that was based on "moderating" I was ecstatic because the whole alcohol community seems to be an "all or nothing" approach and there are gray areas! An example was (years ago) a young 20 something girl (I was in nursing school and doing rounds at Hazelton in MN) who got a DUI and the group was telling her she was alcoholic and could NEVER drink again. I remember thinking REALLY? and through the years I have struggled with the fact that the majority of people are problem drinkers, not alcoholics, yet they all get lumped into the same category and are inundated with the AA philosophy.

So, I thought I had found my dream place only to find that huge online wars would go on between moderators and AFers. You see, it turned out that this was really a site more for those who are abstinent rather than trying to moderate. One reason I am sure is the fact that many people with alcohol problems cannot moderate even though they wished they could. So, many would start out over here and then realize they could not mod and would join the AF threads. That would be all fine and good if everyone respected each other's choices but that wasn't the case 5 years ago. There were two people in particular (one modder and one AFer) that would go to each other's sites and completely antagonize each other. Lila probably remembers those two. So, yes, I do keep a low profile with not wanting to war with those who choose to be abstinent. Yet, I don't support AFers coming over here and giving a moderator a hard time, so I too, LG, would get verbal about that and would probably send them a pm. I give them the "right of way" in the fact that I respect their decision to be AF as I hope they will respect yours, mine and others here who believe they can moderate. However, I missed what happened with the moderator not standing up for themselves, so am sorry to hear that as it sounds like we may have had someone come over here and try to create problems.

I guess the bottom line for me is we all share a common struggle and we come here to support and help each other. I don't like to get upset because of what someone said or have them get upset with something I said if I can help it. Defeats the purpose of why we come here and no-one needs the aggravation when we come here for positive support and warm fuzzies. Hope that helps you understand a little bit more about me. :truce:
:l
Eve11

Eve, it helps and it re-emphasizes what I already suspected. That you are a kind-hearted person.:l One who has evolved beyond the pettiness and need to be "right" that I seem to be stuck in. In the future, when any newbie comes to the forum and asks about moderation, it might be best to let them look around the board and maybe find their way here, rather than anyone (especially me) telling them that moderation might be a choice.

[Lila]

August Mod Squad

Hey LG, I got curious and read the thread. I think you were polite and very clear, I think some people confused not understanding you with not agreeing with you.
Yes, I remember the two former members Eve mentioned. It got heated!
Eve, I really like your perspective, we come here for warm fuzzies, we can argue elsewhere. I can't believe that was 5 years ago! Time really flies.
Read your story, btw, thanks for sharing. My parents were like that, too, completely unaffectionate. Not sure why they thought that was wise....