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    August Mod Squad

    Good Morning Everyone,

    Well my husband called off his usual Monday band practice cause we are all stressed about getting son off to college and so I wound up having a few beers with him while catching up on breaking bad. But went to bed at decent hour and slept good and feel great this morning.

    My husband and son leave to drive up tomorrow morning, it's about an 8 hour drive and I fly out after work tomorrow. Thursday is orientation and my son and hubby are going and I will run around and pick up things he will need that we did not want to lug, then we move him in on Friday and drive back Saturday.

    So tonight is the last night my son will sleep in our home He has been working every night for the past week at his job, he even works tonight, so the family all wanted to have a little send off party and he could not get off work so they are all having a breakfast this morning which neither my hubby or I can attend since we are working........... O well we will take him for a nice dinner Thursday night.

    Ok, gotta get a ton done to catch up since I will miss 2 days work

    Hope all is well with everyone - thanks for all the support
    And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

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      August Mod Squad

      Afternoon/Evening everyone. I just wanted to say a quick hello. My energy is sapped. Didn't feel like I got enough sleep last night and was super tired when I got home, although I straightened up and washed the dishes, fed the animals and am now attempting to unwind. I am likely to do a face plant on the keyboard, lol. Still got to make dinner, and then I hope to get to bed earli(ish). Have been AF last night, and today. Had 2 glasses of wine on Sunday. I quit with the drink tracker because I kept forgetting about it...not sure how much good it did me anyway.

      Hi Lila, V, D, Eve and any lurkers out there~! Let's keep this thread alive guys!


      "I like people too much or not at all."
      Sylvia Plath

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        August Mod Squad

        Hi just checking in wont be posting much the next few days totally consumed with getting the kid off..... Busy busy busy..... Not much time to drink or think about it even so that's a good thing..... Hope everyone is well I will check in as I can!!!!
        And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

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          August Mod Squad

          Hope you have a good trip V!!

          I came back to post because I have been looking at the thread on "Why I Decided to Give up on Moderation". It's a good thread with a lot of thoughtful posts. It made me wonder how many people have been a part of this modding thread and moved on to abstinence.

          There was another post that said that people who are truly moderating see AL as no different than butter. Like, do we need butter for the potatoes? Or, do we need a glass of wine with the steak? LOL, I can see that with some people that I know, and in fact, sometimes I have these completely innocuous thoughts...However, even with "normal" drinkers (that I know), AL still has more importance than that...They look forward to having "'drinks" with friends...they look forward to barbeques with AL...They look forward to the weekends and having drinks...

          Yes, some people never think of AL. My mother was one such person. If you offered her a glass of wine, she might say, yes I'll have a small glass, but she wouldn't have thought of it before you asked, nor would she have felt slighted if you hadn't offered. She once said to me, "I don't understand what people feel from AL. I have never felt anything." LOL, because she never drank more than one glass.

          Anyway, do you think that people who put more importance on AL than say, butter, are addicts?


          "I like people too much or not at all."
          Sylvia Plath

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            August Mod Squad

            Wow LG good question...... When I started here my only goal was to get back to where I craved and enjoyed a few beers because it was long day and I loved the taste and the relaxation or to once again enjoy an evening out with friends and a few drinks or a family BBQ with some cold ones..... I feel very different than a lot if people here because honestly I view beer and liquor like someone might view cigarettes and heroin yes you smoke them both but they are totally different addictions..... Beer and liquor.... Yes I drank them both but they were totally different addictions.... Giving up the liquor was tough, I can't believe what it did to me and the hold it had and how great I feel that I don't ever stop at that store anymore.... Yet I have a few beers still every night.... It's affects are not even close to what I was going thru and I know it's not great for my health but I enjoy it and feel I suffer little to no consequences from it..... Yet I can't bring myself all the time to NOT have that beer or two.... So does that mean I have an addiction or a problem.... This post is just me spouting no real answers or opinions here..... I do feel guilty being in a mod chat yet having a few every night but for me I needed to give up the liquor and I come here for support in that.... Great thread LG giving me lots to think about....
            And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

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              August Mod Squad

              I DO wish alcohol were as neutral, to me, as butter is! FF
              . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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                August Mod Squad

                That would be pretty great FF.

                Although I too find beer to be less harmful to me, or at least I suffer less consequences, there are people here trying to kick beer addiction and find it just as harmful, as I thought liquor was to me. I usually don't want to drink lots of beer unless I'm around a crowd...at home, one or two and I'm usually done, because it just takes too much effort and makes me sleepy, lol.


                "I like people too much or not at all."
                Sylvia Plath

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                  August Mod Squad

                  Hi everyone

                  vlivengood;1367323 wrote: Wow LG good question...... When I started here my only goal was to get back to where I craved and enjoyed a few beers because it was long day and I loved the taste and the relaxation or to once again enjoy an evening out with friends and a few drinks or a family BBQ with some cold ones..... I feel very different than a lot if people here because honestly I view beer and liquor like someone might view cigarettes and heroin yes you smoke them both but they are totally different addictions..... Beer and liquor.... Yes I drank them both but they were totally different addictions.... Giving up the liquor was tough, I can't believe what it did to me and the hold it had and how great I feel that I don't ever stop at that store anymore.... Yet I have a few beers still every night.... It's affects are not even close to what I was going thru and I know it's not great for my health but I enjoy it and feel I suffer little to no consequences from it..... Yet I can't bring myself all the time to NOT have that beer or two.... So does that mean I have an addiction or a problem.... This post is just me spouting no real answers or opinions here..... I do feel guilty being in a mod chat yet having a few every night but for me I needed to give up the liquor and I come here for support in that.... Great thread LG giving me lots to think about....
                  Excellent point, it is known that different alcohols have different effects on certain types of people, personally, I steer clear of hard liquor, I don't like it or its effects. I do enjoy the occassional margarita once in awhile and of all the hard liquors, vodka is the one I find the most tolerable. I know a lot of people have problems with "brown" liquors, they can make people, well, really change their personalities... sugar and sulfites in wine can cause bad hangovers in some people, which leads me to a story...something strange happened to me last night....it's really not a crazy story, just weird.....

                  I met an old gf/business associate for an impromptu drink, it was close to 5 o'clock, or a little after 4:30. Make a long story short, we eacch had about 4 glasses of savignon blanc, my limit, and it was early. I want to say it was around 7:30 when I went up to see how my current gf was doing (she's been sick). I hang out with her for about 45 minutes, go to the gourmet grocer in our neighborhood and get some food to go (some pasta and turkey meat loaf). Ok, it is no late than say 8:30, maybe 8:45....maybe even closer to 8. I eat, watch some TV, past out on my couch. I wake up around midnight and go to my bedroom and back to sleep. I then proceed to have the most BIZZARE dreams! A few involved my ex-wife, a few my dad and the last one involved me watching a naval battle somewhere in the middle east (?!?!) - we of course blew the enemy to smithereens. I woke up around four with some a feeling I haven't felt in a long time...that weird unpleasant anxiety...and I don't understand why, but it can only be from one thing, the wine. I go back to sleep and these dreams come and go...I wake up, I know once I get a shower and start getting ready for work, it will subside and it did...but so strange.... I mean I was thinking about emails I sent (at work - which were all fine and I got positive responses from), I was like semi-paranoid.

                  Anyway, I am fine and have a usual work day. My life/modding has been good, which I believe I said before, actually, when I disappear for awhile, it is usually because, ironically, everything is going well....

                  Happy Wednesday.

                  Oh, the only thing different is when I stopped taking the Welbutrin, the renewals ran out, I thought the Dr. called the pharmacy, she didn't, I figured, screw it, why not try stopping this med. That was Friday.

                  j.

                  Comment


                    August Mod Squad

                    Hi, All. Checking in and read back from my last post. Interesting question, LG!

                    I was talking to wifey last night, and she mentioned that I had surpassed my 6 week goal (think that came and went on Saturday or so) and what was I going to do now? I can honestly say that right now I think of AL much like I do butter...that I don't really need it, pototoes and corn are better without it if they're worth eating at all, and my toast or bagel does just fine with creme cheese! That being said, if I started drinking again, at least drinking somewhat regularly, even at moderate levels, I'm sure it would mean more to me. I would be looking forward to the beers after work, the wine with certain meals, etc. For now I'm still on the wagon, but seriously considering my run at moderation. Right now I fear failing at moderation, and have too much to risk, so I'll stay on the sidelines.

                    Hope all is well.

                    Dave
                    Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
                    When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

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                      August Mod Squad

                      Great job, D on 6 wks+!! I agree that after some time AF, AL ceases to have as much power over your thoughts. Isn't that funny? As in weird, not comical. One more reason people say AF is best.

                      WB Stewarts. I agree that different AL's have different effects. Someone said AL is AL to your liver, but I think certain ones must be worse for you. Maybe not, but they sure feel worse afterward, lol.

                      Hope everyone is having a great day! I have been working on my work project all day, and the time has flown! Will catch up with everyone later...


                      "I like people too much or not at all."
                      Sylvia Plath

                      Comment


                        August Mod Squad

                        Great job D, it sounds like you got everything under control. Well, my day went well, I think its time to wrap it up.

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                          August Mod Squad

                          Home again, home again jiggity jog. Had a great day at work, and glad to be home relaxing. Planning on making some dinner soon...had sort of an epiphany at work on my afternoon break today...realized that I am more interested in my job, willing to take greater risks and more confident in general since I stopped the nightly drinking. It is a huge change. Baby steps in getting ahead in my career, but I had gotten to the point that I was uninterested and too filled with anxiety to do *anything* beyond what I absolutely had to do for so long. Really grateful for that.

                          Another AF night, and no cravings whatsoever.

                          V, if you're checking in, hope your trip is going smoothly. Keep us updated, if possible.


                          "I like people too much or not at all."
                          Sylvia Plath

                          Comment


                            August Mod Squad

                            LG - what a happy post..... I can really relate.... I feel much more excited about work lately...... I am at the airport waiting gor some greasy onion rings before my flight in 50m.....

                            Boy took off on the road 2 hours late but I think they will make it just in time to get me from airport..... I have cried 3 times today but yet I feel excited and happy!!!!!!

                            I will check in more...... I hope everyone is well tonight!!!!

                            O n LG perfect timing in the work epiphinay and the project just what you need right now..... WHAT'S FOR DINNER?!??
                            And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                            Comment


                              August Mod Squad

                              Dirty rice is for dinner. Took the easy route tonight. Feeling a bit sickly to be honest...could be the Amoryn. Can't think of anything else that I've done differently tonight. I forgot to take one this morning though. Also had a lot of caffeine today, but that's not really abnormal for me...anyway, other than that, I feel great, lol. Don't eat too many onion rings, haha! Nahhhhh, eat all you want and enjoy!! I'm glad you're excited, even though you're sad too. It's going to be great.


                              "I like people too much or not at all."
                              Sylvia Plath

                              Comment


                                August Mod Squad

                                Morning everyone. TW13 has been destroyed. I woke this morning and simply had had enough. I bent it into so many shapes...Seems like I am up and down with my moods, and I realize that, but I am just trying to have a normal life, and deal with enormous disrespect. Sometimes I can overlook it and go on my merry way, but today was not one of them. Then I get to work to have a new librarian who has been here for a YEAR try and tell me the "rules" about something I had done (and done correctly). I've had it up to here with being underestimated, under-appreciated and simply won't take it anymore.

                                I feel like a cartoon character with smoke coming out of my ears, lol. So how's your day going? haha


                                "I like people too much or not at all."
                                Sylvia Plath

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